Why did you put that in the end? Using your logic of a paragraph before, can't you just not respond?
Yeah I agree. But I might not be able to tell that from an initial email or profile, and I feel that these are things that are worth not being exposed to. I don't know, I've thought I should take it off, I just haven't gotten around to it. But on the other hand, if I show up on a date and the guy doesn't look as good as photo, no big deal-it's still a nice night out. If I show up on a date and have to listen to racist comments, I'm going to be pissed. But in terms of the height/weight thing, I mean come on. Like I said, how would one even know what you consider "fat" or whatever? I know people who have extreme opinions on both ends. And height you'd think people would be clear about if they were going to be that exclusive, but they're usually not. I've seen girls write, "no short guys please." Well what is short? And honestly what difference does it make if you get an "angled photo" of someone and then they don't look as good? What is that anymore awkward than showing up for the date and realizing you're not into them because they're totally stupid or bitchy or you're just not attracted to them for no identifiable reason? It's not any different. That leads me to believe that people put those things on there to somehow make themselves seem better.
Another downfall of online dating- I've been chatting with this one guy for like over month. Could never figure out why he never really asked me out other than vaguely mentioning that if I find myself going to the local movie theater we should meet up. He just sends me an email this morning saying that he's been seeing some girl who's really into him but he'll "still go to a movie" with me. Seriously, wtf.
Another downfall of online dating- I've been chatting with this one guy for like over month. Could never figure out why he never really asked me out other than vaguely mentioning that if I find myself going to the local movie theater we should meet up. He just sends me an email this morning saying that he's been seeing some girl who's really into him but he'll "still go to a movie" with me. Seriously, wtf.
I thought all women were attracted to the "bad boy"/ "wolves" who treated them like crap..
isn't that the lesson all us "nice guys" have learned?
(ducks for cover!)
really, you know the character John Cusack plays in the movie "High Fidelity"?
That's me ....and I lose out to men with tatoos /on probation/ with no bank account all the time lately....
(writes memo to self.. NEED TO FIND A PJ GIRL)
:roll:
"This here's a REQUEST!"
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
Another downfall of online dating- I've been chatting with this one guy for like over month. Could never figure out why he never really asked me out other than vaguely mentioning that if I find myself going to the local movie theater we should meet up. He just sends me an email this morning saying that he's been seeing some girl who's really into him but he'll "still go to a movie" with me. Seriously, wtf.
I thought all women were attracted to the "bad boy"/ "wolves" who treated them like crap..
isn't that the lesson all us "nice guys" have learned?
(ducks for cover!)
really, you know the character John Cusack plays in the movie "High Fidelity"?
That's me ....and I lose out to men with tatoos /on probation/ with no bank account all the time lately....
(writes memo to self.. NEED TO FIND A PJ GIRL)
:roll:
oh this guy was far from a bad boy. It was just a really weird message. I guess he was just holding out to see where it went with this chick and when he decided she was good to go...but I think he like wants to be friends or something...like we can go out but it's not date...that's exactly what I want to with guys I don't know who have girlfriends!
I thought all women were attracted to the "bad boy"/ "wolves" who treated them like crap..
isn't that the lesson all us "nice guys" have learned?
(ducks for cover!)
really, you know the character John Cusack plays in the movie "High Fidelity"?
That's me ....and I lose out to men with tatoos /on probation/ with no bank account all the time lately....
(writes memo to self.. NEED TO FIND A PJ GIRL)
:roll:
As we speak, I'm losing out to a 19 year old high school drop out that has openly told her he has a gf and she's just his road tail, all becos he has tats and plays in a mediocre punk band... I guess even by age 25-26 that's way hotter to chicks than a guy with a stable job that actually likes and respects HER, not just the sex he can get from her.
Another downfall of online dating- I've been chatting with this one guy for like over month. Could never figure out why he never really asked me out other than vaguely mentioning that if I find myself going to the local movie theater we should meet up. He just sends me an email this morning saying that he's been seeing some girl who's really into him but he'll "still go to a movie" with me. Seriously, wtf.
I thought all women were attracted to the "bad boy"/ "wolves" who treated them like crap..
isn't that the lesson all us "nice guys" have learned?
(ducks for cover!)
really, you know the character John Cusack plays in the movie "High Fidelity"?
That's me ....and I lose out to men with tatoos /on probation/ with no bank account all the time lately....
(writes memo to self.. NEED TO FIND A PJ GIRL)
:roll:
oh this guy was far from a bad boy. It was just a really weird message. I guess he was just holding out to see where it went with this chick and when he decided she was good to go...but I think he like wants to be friends or something...like we can go out but it's not date...that's exactly what I want to with guys I don't know who have girlfriends!
Who says she's his gf? Maybe they're not exclusive yet and he still does want to see you, but felt like he should be honest about not committing to anyone right now so you don't expect that he's not seeing anyone else when he is. But it's still a weird message... like "she's really into me, so you better bring your a-game!"
online dating is awful for me.
my old man rakes in dates off of that thing though with a lot of good.
maybe when it gets to the older crowd normal people start going on it.
Who says she's his gf? Maybe they're not exclusive yet and he still does want to see you, but felt like he should be honest about not committing to anyone right now so you don't expect that he's not seeing anyone else when he is. But it's still a weird message... like "she's really into me, so you better bring your a-game!"
well right...I wrote back to him and asked for some clarification because that's what it sounded like at first because he said, "I don't know where it's going but I thought I'd tell you in case that matters to you" but then he was babbling about meeting friends on the site never works out well...so no idea.
I thought all women were attracted to the "bad boy"/ "wolves" who treated them like crap..
isn't that the lesson all us "nice guys" have learned?
(ducks for cover!)
really, you know the character John Cusack plays in the movie "High Fidelity"?
That's me ....and I lose out to men with tatoos /on probation/ with no bank account all the time lately....
(writes memo to self.. NEED TO FIND A PJ GIRL)
:roll:
oh sweet jesus. :roll: some women seem to find this appealing. others like myself prefer to be treated with respect cause thats how we treat ,not only the men in our lives, but ALL the people in our lives.
the john cusack character in high fidelity is a woose. plain and simple. he has no balls.he spends the entire film bitching to us about his past failed relationships. ummm hellooo whats the common factor here??? but my god!! what a music collection.
anyhoo you need to find someone who likes you for you. simple... but not.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
Totally agree with this post. Also some posts made my laugh. And this is good for a monday
I have never started with online dating. I have tried, also I upload my profile in eharmony. i wanted to meet people trough that channel because I think its a good website. But 2 things, i am not so outgoing to speak about myself to anybody that i have never seen. Second I have not received any contact from someone who lives in Spain.
I am looking forward to meet people from all over the globe I am sure i will find someone (better if the guy is a PJ fan) but i dont agree with paying a website with this single interest of finding a boyfriend (or worst someone to get married). I dont want to find those guys that want to get-to-know-you-quickly. I feel overwhelmed by this issue and dont know how to handle.
I think i am to shy to really do it I also couldnt speak to anybody in the PJ concert i went. But I think this website is a total success so I may pay the subscription one day. When i approve my english test.
I want to find my EV.
"Any life is made up of a single moment, the moment in which a man finds out, once and for all, who he is." JLB.
I've done the online dating thing on OKC and Yahoo Personals. Met a few interesting people and had a year long relationship off of Yahoo. She was a great girl, but very different in her outlook on life.
OK Cupid is a great idea but I've noticed a few things.
1. There are a lot of serial daters on the site. You can usually tell because she's had her profile for years and still lists herself as single. And she seems to be online all of the time. While I don't see a real ethical issue with serial daters, I think they should not say they are seeking "long term relationships"... just "short term" or "friendship".
2. I live in a college town so there are a lot of girls who seem to only be interested in talking about their major or the degree program they are in. While this is interesting, it shouldn't be the sum of your existence. The same goes for those who can only talk about their career path. Bleh. I see nothing wrong with education or career goals, but you should never be defined by what you do or study. I want to know about your hobbies, your viewpoints, what makes you laugh...ect.
3. I've never met anyone who is as near as interesting as they make themselves out to be on their profile.
Make your life a mission - not an intermission. - Arnold Gasglow
OK Cupid is a great idea but I've noticed a few things.
1. There are a lot of serial daters on the site. You can usually tell because she's had her profile for years and still lists herself as single. And she seems to be online all of the time. While I don't see a real ethical issue with serial daters, I think they should not say they are seeking "long term relationships"... just "short term" or "friendship".
Well who says they're not interested in long-term relationships? Maybe they just haven't found one. You can date and still consider yourself single until you find a person you really want to be exclusive with for a long time. Whether they're specifically "looking for" a long-term relationship or not, they might just not have found one. My okc profile has been up for a good year, and it says I'm single and it says I'm interested in long-term relationships, and that's not a lie- I would have one if I happened upon a good one. To me the situation more describes a person who is open to taking relationships as they come and not settling for someone just because the relationship is "what they're looking for."
2. I live in a college town so there are a lot of girls who seem to only be interested in talking about their major or the degree program they are in. While this is interesting, it shouldn't be the sum of your existence. The same goes for those who can only talk about their career path. Bleh. I see nothing wrong with education or career goals, but you should never be defined by what you do or study. I want to know about your hobbies, your viewpoints, what makes you laugh...ect.
Well I see why this is really boring, but having been a grad student somewhat recently, I can say that it can be all-encompassing. You really don't have much time for hobbies- you don't have evenings and weekends like when you're working. All of your friends are people in your program, you're thinking about it 24/7. After a while, my boyfriend I had when I was in grad school was just like, "I just can't hang out with your grad school friends until you finish, it's ALL you talk about." It sucks, and it doesn't mean she doesn't have any other interests, it's just that right now she's absorbed. And it really can be a passion, as can the associated careers. If you've put a lot of yourself into studying something and go into it as a career, it's not just about a paycheck, it's part of you, it literally can be your "hobby" too, and it can even make you laugh . I've actually never dated a man who was really passionate about his career-it's usually just a pay check, and any preoccupation with it seems to come more from ambition and self-advancement than passion. I'd love to, for example, date a PhD student who was crazy about studying...the mating habits of...penguins. Just the fact that they're passionate about something is good for me.
haha well that's not surprising! I'm convinced that no one is really interesting.
Interesting is in the eye of the beholder. It's just real easy to play yourself up in an online profile. Not so much as to lie about yourself, but definitely to sell yourself. I'm sure my profile makes me much more interesting than I am perceived in real life.
Make your life a mission - not an intermission. - Arnold Gasglow
Well I see why this is really boring, but having been a grad student somewhat recently, I can say that it can be all-encompassing. You really don't have much time for hobbies- you don't have evenings and weekends like when you're working. All of your friends are people in your program, you're thinking about it 24/7. After a while, my boyfriend I had when I was in grad school was just like, "I just can't hang out with your grad school friends until you finish, it's ALL you talk about." It sucks, and it doesn't mean she doesn't have any other interests, it's just that right now she's absorbed. And it really can be a passion, as can the associated careers. If you've put a lot of yourself into studying something and go into it as a career, it's not just about a paycheck, it's part of you, it literally can be your "hobby" too, and it can even make you laugh . I've actually never dated a man who was really passionate about his career-it's usually just a pay check, and any preoccupation with it seems to come more from ambition and self-advancement than passion. I'd love to, for example, date a PhD student who was crazy about studying...the mating habits of...penguins. Just the fact that they're passionate about something is good for me."
Law school was like this too. It's a very insular existence and kinda consumes all your attention for a while. It was almost like being in high school again somewhat.
Well I see why this is really boring, but having been a grad student somewhat recently, I can say that it can be all-encompassing. You really don't have much time for hobbies- you don't have evenings and weekends like when you're working. All of your friends are people in your program, you're thinking about it 24/7. After a while, my boyfriend I had when I was in grad school was just like, "I just can't hang out with your grad school friends until you finish, it's ALL you talk about." It sucks, and it doesn't mean she doesn't have any other interests, it's just that right now she's absorbed. And it really can be a passion, as can the associated careers. If you've put a lot of yourself into studying something and go into it as a career, it's not just about a paycheck, it's part of you, it literally can be your "hobby" too, and it can even make you laugh . I've actually never dated a man who was really passionate about his career-it's usually just a pay check, and any preoccupation with it seems to come more from ambition and self-advancement than passion. I'd love to, for example, date a PhD student who was crazy about studying...the mating habits of...penguins. Just the fact that they're passionate about something is good for me."
Law school was like this too. It's a very insular existence and kinda consumes all your attention for a while. It was almost like being in high school again somewhat.
haha I thought my professional school was really like high school...maybe more so junior high school! There were about 250 people, we had lockers, it was all clicky but everyone tried to be popular, there was inter-dating...and even though all my friends and I were specializing in different areas, I got it when my one friend would be complaining that her GIS software wasn't mapping her habitat areas correctly and she got it that I couldn't come up with a good probability distribution to assume for the likelihood of a mine flood...
There was actually a seminar at my university for couples who had one person in grad/professional school and one who wasn't. We only went to the first session, but the common denominator seemed to be that all the girls (for some reason, all the couples at the seminar had a girl in grad school and a guy who wasn't) were just part of this all consuming world in terms of work, social life, everything, and the guys had to somehow fit into that.
My family didn't realize or care about my PJ passion . . . until I took my nieces and nephew, and then PJness became a family bonding activity. I took 2 neices and 1 nephew to PJ concerts, and I have 3 more nieces to go.
After the oldest niece, and nephew attended the concerts, my brother told my mother, who told my sister in Holland etc etc etc . . . My brother bought his daughter and son PJ music before the concert, and I bought them the bootleg of the concert they attended, and I also bought the bootleg of the concert my other neice attended for her and I bought for her younger sister a PJ bumper sticker which is stuck on her toy shelves.
In my circle I was the only person interested in Pj until I interested others by way of their kids I actually think another huge PJ fan may not be the uber-best person to date as I would choose taking my nieces/nephew to a concert over him. It's the best I could do for them with the limited time I see them.
There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
They tolerate my obsessive passion for the music and bootlegs of Pearl Jam, but they treat me like a crazy cousin of theirs..
whereas if you're a huge fan of u2 or bruce springsteen you're viewed as completely rational...
i don't know any u2 or bruce springsteen fans that come anywhere near the level of obsession of pj fans around here... people quitting jobs and abandoning families for a few concerts, dropping thousands on obsessive poster collections, listening exclusively to the same songs played over and over on hundreds of different bootlegs... i like pj and a chick that'd be that obsessed would weird me out too. i think the problem is pj fans don't realize that when they talk about taking off work to schedule their vacations around a rock band, all normal people see is a loser in a star trek uniform speaking klingon to them. nobody wants to date a trekkie other than other trekkies becos it means all your free/vacation time is going to be spent at the next vulcan convention. they want a guy/girl that talks about their free time being spent seeing the world and doing exciting and romantic things, not sitting in dark arenas listening to the same 15 songs while madly hoping the other 10 will be some super-rare b-side.
They tolerate my obsessive passion for the music and bootlegs of Pearl Jam, but they treat me like a crazy cousin of theirs..
whereas if you're a huge fan of u2 or bruce springsteen you're viewed as completely rational...
i don't know any u2 or bruce springsteen fans that come anywhere near the level of obsession of pj fans around here... people quitting jobs and abandoning families for a few concerts, dropping thousands on obsessive poster collections, listening exclusively to the same songs played over and over on hundreds of different bootlegs... i like pj and a chick that'd be that obsessed would weird me out too. i think the problem is pj fans don't realize that when they talk about taking off work to schedule their vacations around a rock band, all normal people see is a loser in a star trek uniform speaking klingon to them. nobody wants to date a trekkie other than other trekkies becos it means all your free/vacation time is going to be spent at the next vulcan convention. they want a guy/girl that talks about their free time being spent seeing the world and doing exciting and romantic things, not sitting in dark arenas listening to the same 15 songs while madly hoping the other 10 will be some super-rare b-side.
one of my pj tour buddies that i always meet on the road, is as obsessive about u2 as he is about pj. i also know a couple of pj fans just as obsessive over bruce. they ARe out there, and i am sure for other bands as well. we just aren't privy to it all b/c that's not our community. that said, there IS a middle ground in all of this - being mildly obessive.
i do collect posters from shows i've attended, but i also love art....so it combines passions. i also collect bootlegs from shows i've attended, simply b/c listening to them brings back many happy memories, even if i do so only occasionally. i have traveled a good deal to see pj b/c it's a great and novel way to plan a travel itinerary, and combine 2 things that i utterly LOVE; seeing pj live AND travel. i also manage to travel w/o seeing pj, have other - equally obsessive - passions, as does my husband.....so again, it's not all or nothing. there's lots of grey area in there. i thoroughly enjoy people who are passionate about *something*....even something i am not, makes for infinitely fascinating coversation. overly-obsessive, yea...perhaps not, but a true passion can be enjoyable.
also, many a friend/family-member who is not a fan has been quite envious of my trips, and also think what a cool way to go about traveling and meeting new people, etc, etc. all combining passions.
one of my pj tour buddies that i always meet on the road, is as obsessive about u2 as he is about pj. i also know a couple of pj fans just as obsessive over bruce. they ARe out there, and i am sure for other bands as well. we just aren't privy to it all b/c that's not our community. that said, there IS a middle ground in all of this - being mildly obessive.
i do collect posters from shows i've attended, but i also love art....so it combines passions. i also collect bootlegs from shows i've attended, simply b/c listening to them brings back many happy memories, even if i do so only occasionally. i have traveled a good deal to see pj b/c it's a great and novel way to plan a travel itinerary, and combine 2 things that i utterly LOVE; seeing pj live AND travel. i also manage to travel w/o seeing pj, have other - equally obsessive - passions, as does my husband.....so again, it's not all or nothing. there's lots of grey area in there. i thoroughly enjoy people who are passionate about *something*....even something i am not, makes for infinitely fascinating coversation. overly-obsessive, yea...perhaps not, but a true passion can be enjoyable.
also, many a friend/family-member who is not a fan has been quite envious of my trips, and also think what a cool way to go about traveling and meeting new people, etc, etc. all combining passions.
good for you. but all it takes is a cursory look around this place to see that there are a lot of folks around here who are clearly out of touch with any sort of reality. i say this as someone who used to be this way... talked about pj ALL the time to the point my friends got annoyed. it's a turn off to most people to be so singularly obsessed with something such that it kinda consumes and dominates your life. if you bring up or connect everything to pj or feel the need to "front" your obsession with the band, odds are you're just going to be viewed as a cult member... like trekkies, people that learned to speak elvish due to lord of the rings, or those engaged in bizarre religious groups like scientology or pentecostals.
if pj is the biggest thing going in your life such that it's a dealbreaker for you (i'm always shocked at the number of people that in all seriousness act like they could never date someone that didn't love the band and think giving them a 7-disc live compilation of songs is a normal and reasonable thing to do), you better stick to the dating thread on the porch. becos everyone else is going to see you as kind of a weirdo if you're lucky, a potential mom's basement-living friendless serial killer if you're not
art means a lot of things... seeing it, making it, going to museums, openings, etc. music does too. as do books. then you can talk about those passions and the many ways to explore them. but nobody wants the same meal every day forever and if your only response to "what are your interests" is "pearl jam"... that's going to raise warning flags.
one of my pj tour buddies that i always meet on the road, is as obsessive about u2 as he is about pj. i also know a couple of pj fans just as obsessive over bruce. they ARe out there, and i am sure for other bands as well. we just aren't privy to it all b/c that's not our community. that said, there IS a middle ground in all of this - being mildly obessive.
i do collect posters from shows i've attended, but i also love art....so it combines passions. i also collect bootlegs from shows i've attended, simply b/c listening to them brings back many happy memories, even if i do so only occasionally. i have traveled a good deal to see pj b/c it's a great and novel way to plan a travel itinerary, and combine 2 things that i utterly LOVE; seeing pj live AND travel. i also manage to travel w/o seeing pj, have other - equally obsessive - passions, as does my husband.....so again, it's not all or nothing. there's lots of grey area in there. i thoroughly enjoy people who are passionate about *something*....even something i am not, makes for infinitely fascinating coversation. overly-obsessive, yea...perhaps not, but a true passion can be enjoyable.
also, many a friend/family-member who is not a fan has been quite envious of my trips, and also think what a cool way to go about traveling and meeting new people, etc, etc. all combining passions.
good for you. but all it takes is a cursory look around this place to see that there are a lot of folks around here who are clearly out of touch with any sort of reality. i say this as someone who used to be this way... talked about pj ALL the time to the point my friends got annoyed. it's a turn off to most people to be so singularly obsessed with something such that it kinda consumes and dominates your life. if you bring up or connect everything to pj or feel the need to "front" your obsession with the band, odds are you're just going to be viewed as a cult member... like trekkies, people that learned to speak elvish due to lord of the rings, or those engaged in bizarre religious groups like scientology or pentecostals.
if pj is the biggest thing going in your life such that it's a dealbreaker for you (i'm always shocked at the number of people that in all seriousness act like they could never date someone that didn't love the band and think giving them a 7-disc live compilation of songs is a normal and reasonable thing to do), you better stick to the dating thread on the porch. becos everyone else is going to see you as kind of a weirdo if you're lucky, a potential mom's basement-living friendless serial killer if you're not
art means a lot of things... seeing it, making it, going to museums, openings, etc. music does too. as do books. then you can talk about those passions and the many ways to explore them. but nobody wants the same meal every day forever and if your only response to "what are your interests" is "pearl jam"... that's going to raise warning flags.
agreed.
point is, not everyone here is like that. at ALL. you and i and many, many others are cases in point. that's all. like most things, there are degrees....
i rarely talk pj with anyone who is not into pj. it is, at most, a cursory comment here or there, nothing more. i do not want to be bored silly with someone els'es incessant dronings of one topic, so of course i realize the same with my interests. balance, balance, balance. that was my whole point.
Comments
Yeah I agree. But I might not be able to tell that from an initial email or profile, and I feel that these are things that are worth not being exposed to. I don't know, I've thought I should take it off, I just haven't gotten around to it. But on the other hand, if I show up on a date and the guy doesn't look as good as photo, no big deal-it's still a nice night out. If I show up on a date and have to listen to racist comments, I'm going to be pissed. But in terms of the height/weight thing, I mean come on. Like I said, how would one even know what you consider "fat" or whatever? I know people who have extreme opinions on both ends. And height you'd think people would be clear about if they were going to be that exclusive, but they're usually not. I've seen girls write, "no short guys please." Well what is short? And honestly what difference does it make if you get an "angled photo" of someone and then they don't look as good? What is that anymore awkward than showing up for the date and realizing you're not into them because they're totally stupid or bitchy or you're just not attracted to them for no identifiable reason? It's not any different. That leads me to believe that people put those things on there to somehow make themselves seem better.
Honest opinion I suppose.
at least he didn't say, "I liked them in 1992. They're still together?"
Confucius2009 says - He who uses online dating sites will end up with the hands he types his profile with...
...the little things impress me. I like that you know how to use they're, their, and there.
I thought all women were attracted to the "bad boy"/ "wolves" who treated them like crap..
isn't that the lesson all us "nice guys" have learned?
(ducks for cover!)
really, you know the character John Cusack plays in the movie "High Fidelity"?
That's me ....and I lose out to men with tatoos /on probation/ with no bank account all the time lately....
(writes memo to self.. NEED TO FIND A PJ GIRL)
:roll:
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
oh this guy was far from a bad boy. It was just a really weird message. I guess he was just holding out to see where it went with this chick and when he decided she was good to go...but I think he like wants to be friends or something...like we can go out but it's not date...that's exactly what I want to with guys I don't know who have girlfriends!
As we speak, I'm losing out to a 19 year old high school drop out that has openly told her he has a gf and she's just his road tail, all becos he has tats and plays in a mediocre punk band... I guess even by age 25-26 that's way hotter to chicks than a guy with a stable job that actually likes and respects HER, not just the sex he can get from her.
Who says she's his gf? Maybe they're not exclusive yet and he still does want to see you, but felt like he should be honest about not committing to anyone right now so you don't expect that he's not seeing anyone else when he is. But it's still a weird message... like "she's really into me, so you better bring your a-game!"
my old man rakes in dates off of that thing though with a lot of good.
maybe when it gets to the older crowd normal people start going on it.
i'm talkin +50
well right...I wrote back to him and asked for some clarification because that's what it sounded like at first because he said, "I don't know where it's going but I thought I'd tell you in case that matters to you" but then he was babbling about meeting friends on the site never works out well...so no idea.
seems like an easy one to cross off your list then
This list is a short one...he says he has three of their albums, but doesn't know which ones. :?
strike 3!
good luck in your search, i'm in the same boat right now. it's an interesting way to try to meet people, i have found.
oh sweet jesus. :roll: some women seem to find this appealing. others like myself prefer to be treated with respect cause thats how we treat ,not only the men in our lives, but ALL the people in our lives.
the john cusack character in high fidelity is a woose. plain and simple. he has no balls.he spends the entire film bitching to us about his past failed relationships. ummm hellooo whats the common factor here??? but my god!! what a music collection.
anyhoo you need to find someone who likes you for you. simple... but not.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
I have never started with online dating. I have tried, also I upload my profile in eharmony. i wanted to meet people trough that channel because I think its a good website. But 2 things, i am not so outgoing to speak about myself to anybody that i have never seen. Second I have not received any contact from someone who lives in Spain.
I am looking forward to meet people from all over the globe I am sure i will find someone (better if the guy is a PJ fan) but i dont agree with paying a website with this single interest of finding a boyfriend (or worst someone to get married). I dont want to find those guys that want to get-to-know-you-quickly. I feel overwhelmed by this issue and dont know how to handle.
I think i am to shy to really do it I also couldnt speak to anybody in the PJ concert i went. But I think this website is a total success so I may pay the subscription one day. When i approve my english test.
I want to find my EV.
Wish you were here...
♥~RIP Dad
OK Cupid is a great idea but I've noticed a few things.
1. There are a lot of serial daters on the site. You can usually tell because she's had her profile for years and still lists herself as single. And she seems to be online all of the time. While I don't see a real ethical issue with serial daters, I think they should not say they are seeking "long term relationships"... just "short term" or "friendship".
2. I live in a college town so there are a lot of girls who seem to only be interested in talking about their major or the degree program they are in. While this is interesting, it shouldn't be the sum of your existence. The same goes for those who can only talk about their career path. Bleh. I see nothing wrong with education or career goals, but you should never be defined by what you do or study. I want to know about your hobbies, your viewpoints, what makes you laugh...ect.
3. I've never met anyone who is as near as interesting as they make themselves out to be on their profile.
Make your life a mission - not an intermission. - Arnold Gasglow
Well who says they're not interested in long-term relationships? Maybe they just haven't found one. You can date and still consider yourself single until you find a person you really want to be exclusive with for a long time. Whether they're specifically "looking for" a long-term relationship or not, they might just not have found one. My okc profile has been up for a good year, and it says I'm single and it says I'm interested in long-term relationships, and that's not a lie- I would have one if I happened upon a good one. To me the situation more describes a person who is open to taking relationships as they come and not settling for someone just because the relationship is "what they're looking for."
Well I see why this is really boring, but having been a grad student somewhat recently, I can say that it can be all-encompassing. You really don't have much time for hobbies- you don't have evenings and weekends like when you're working. All of your friends are people in your program, you're thinking about it 24/7. After a while, my boyfriend I had when I was in grad school was just like, "I just can't hang out with your grad school friends until you finish, it's ALL you talk about." It sucks, and it doesn't mean she doesn't have any other interests, it's just that right now she's absorbed. And it really can be a passion, as can the associated careers. If you've put a lot of yourself into studying something and go into it as a career, it's not just about a paycheck, it's part of you, it literally can be your "hobby" too, and it can even make you laugh
haha well that's not surprising! I'm convinced that no one is really interesting.
Man I just realized how much I've been writing in this thread. Maybe I need to get a date on okcupid more than I thought I did
Most girls on OKC don't get my passion about Pearl Jam unfortunately.
Interesting is in the eye of the beholder. It's just real easy to play yourself up in an online profile. Not so much as to lie about yourself, but definitely to sell yourself. I'm sure my profile makes me much more interesting than I am perceived in real life.
Make your life a mission - not an intermission. - Arnold Gasglow
Law school was like this too. It's a very insular existence and kinda consumes all your attention for a while. It was almost like being in high school again somewhat.
haha I thought my professional school was really like high school...maybe more so junior high school! There were about 250 people, we had lockers, it was all clicky but everyone tried to be popular, there was inter-dating...and even though all my friends and I were specializing in different areas, I got it when my one friend would be complaining that her GIS software wasn't mapping her habitat areas correctly and she got it that I couldn't come up with a good probability distribution to assume for the likelihood of a mine flood...
There was actually a seminar at my university for couples who had one person in grad/professional school and one who wasn't. We only went to the first session, but the common denominator seemed to be that all the girls (for some reason, all the couples at the seminar had a girl in grad school and a guy who wasn't) were just part of this all consuming world in terms of work, social life, everything, and the guys had to somehow fit into that.
"I explain Pearl Jam to people like its my job"..
That's a great description of my existence too..
I'm the only PJ fan in my circle of friends..
They tolerate my obsessive passion for the music and bootlegs of Pearl Jam, but they treat me like a crazy cousin of theirs..
whereas if you're a huge fan of u2 or bruce springsteen you're viewed as completely rational...
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
After the oldest niece, and nephew attended the concerts, my brother told my mother, who told my sister in Holland etc etc etc . . . My brother bought his daughter and son PJ music before the concert, and I bought them the bootleg of the concert they attended, and I also bought the bootleg of the concert my other neice attended for her and I bought for her younger sister a PJ bumper sticker which is stuck on her toy shelves.
In my circle I was the only person interested in Pj until I interested others by way of their kids
The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
and boring.
i don't know any u2 or bruce springsteen fans that come anywhere near the level of obsession of pj fans around here... people quitting jobs and abandoning families for a few concerts, dropping thousands on obsessive poster collections, listening exclusively to the same songs played over and over on hundreds of different bootlegs... i like pj and a chick that'd be that obsessed would weird me out too. i think the problem is pj fans don't realize that when they talk about taking off work to schedule their vacations around a rock band, all normal people see is a loser in a star trek uniform speaking klingon to them. nobody wants to date a trekkie other than other trekkies becos it means all your free/vacation time is going to be spent at the next vulcan convention. they want a guy/girl that talks about their free time being spent seeing the world and doing exciting and romantic things, not sitting in dark arenas listening to the same 15 songs while madly hoping the other 10 will be some super-rare b-side.
one of my pj tour buddies that i always meet on the road, is as obsessive about u2 as he is about pj. i also know a couple of pj fans just as obsessive over bruce. they ARe out there, and i am sure for other bands as well. we just aren't privy to it all b/c that's not our community. that said, there IS a middle ground in all of this - being mildly obessive.
i do collect posters from shows i've attended, but i also love art....so it combines passions. i also collect bootlegs from shows i've attended, simply b/c listening to them brings back many happy memories, even if i do so only occasionally. i have traveled a good deal to see pj b/c it's a great and novel way to plan a travel itinerary, and combine 2 things that i utterly LOVE; seeing pj live AND travel. i also manage to travel w/o seeing pj, have other - equally obsessive - passions, as does my husband.....so again, it's not all or nothing. there's lots of grey area in there. i thoroughly enjoy people who are passionate about *something*....even something i am not, makes for infinitely fascinating coversation. overly-obsessive, yea...perhaps not, but a true passion can be enjoyable.
also, many a friend/family-member who is not a fan has been quite envious of my trips, and also think what a cool way to go about traveling and meeting new people, etc, etc. all combining passions.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
good for you. but all it takes is a cursory look around this place to see that there are a lot of folks around here who are clearly out of touch with any sort of reality. i say this as someone who used to be this way... talked about pj ALL the time to the point my friends got annoyed. it's a turn off to most people to be so singularly obsessed with something such that it kinda consumes and dominates your life. if you bring up or connect everything to pj or feel the need to "front" your obsession with the band, odds are you're just going to be viewed as a cult member... like trekkies, people that learned to speak elvish due to lord of the rings, or those engaged in bizarre religious groups like scientology or pentecostals.
if pj is the biggest thing going in your life such that it's a dealbreaker for you (i'm always shocked at the number of people that in all seriousness act like they could never date someone that didn't love the band and think giving them a 7-disc live compilation of songs is a normal and reasonable thing to do), you better stick to the dating thread on the porch. becos everyone else is going to see you as kind of a weirdo if you're lucky, a potential mom's basement-living friendless serial killer if you're not
art means a lot of things... seeing it, making it, going to museums, openings, etc. music does too. as do books. then you can talk about those passions and the many ways to explore them. but nobody wants the same meal every day forever and if your only response to "what are your interests" is "pearl jam"... that's going to raise warning flags.
agreed.
point is, not everyone here is like that. at ALL. you and i and many, many others are cases in point. that's all. like most things, there are degrees....
i rarely talk pj with anyone who is not into pj. it is, at most, a cursory comment here or there, nothing more. i do not want to be bored silly with someone els'es incessant dronings of one topic, so of course i realize the same with my interests. balance, balance, balance. that was my whole point.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow