Ten club pairs at the shows- observation

Evergreen

decides2dream wrote:

Evergreen85024 wrote:

I have total free rein when it comes to PJ and that has been the understanding since we saw them in 91 together and he did not get it like I did.

He just knows. If I get an email, I buy and figure it all out later. End of story.

Oh, and he knows EV is officially on "the list" too, and it's ok.

and that's awesome for you!
others just conduct their marriages a wee bit differently, and as long as everyone is happy, win-win! there is no one right way to live, and certainly no one right way to be happy in a relationship.


i just would never even think of say planning a trip to oz for a 2 weeks without talking about it first with my husband. and i know he feels, and acts, the same way for his own wants and plans. we still give each other pretty much free reign to do as we choose....we simply prefer to consult with one another first. this works for us, your way works for your relationship...others have different ways, and so it goes....

Ya'll aren't seeing where I am coming from. I do not ask if I can do something, but if I were going on a two week trip, I would sure tell my guy first with plenty of time to make sure there are no conflicts. IF something comes up, like the 150 tickets to watch the Crowes record, then it is understood that it was a once in a lifetime thing and you jump on it.

This has kept us both very happy. We do TONS together too...camping, 4 wheeling, we collect rocks...he is just not into music as much as me, so I go. Same as with his hobbies, he goes. In twenty years, we have never had a problem with this and I think, are happier than most couple we see. We are still madly in love, never fight, and just have a blast when we are together, sex is still great, and I fully attribute that to keeping our individual passions in the forefront of who we are and not becoming a generic "us".

Our kid ended up highly independent and is REALLY living his dream, which you hardly see out of kids anymore. He tried one semester of college because we wanted him to, hated it, quit, and packed his bags with 200 bucks and left to become a snowboard instructor. Now, he works in Vail and New Zealand and is taking people on helicopter jumps. He makes hardly anything, he owns nothing but cloths and equipment, but snowboards everyday and is just plain fucking happy. I fully attribute that to our example of being "free and spontaneous" as you might say.

Minou

Evergreen85024 wrote:

decides2dream wrote:

Evergreen85024 wrote:

Ya'll aren't seeing where I am coming from. I do not ask if I can do something, but if I were going on a two week trip, I would sure tell my guy first with plenty of time to make sure there are no conflicts. IF something comes up, like the 150 tickets to watch the Crowes record, then it is understood that it was a once in a lifetime thing and you jump on it.

This has kept us both very happy. We do TONS together too...camping, 4 wheeling, we collect rocks...he is just not into music as much as me, so I go. Same as with his hobbies, he goes. In twenty years, we have never had a problem with this and I think, are happier than most couple we see. We are still madly in love, never fight, and just have a blast when we are together, sex is still great, and I fully attribute that to keeping our individual passions in the forefront of who we are and not becoming a generic "us".

It sounds like you and your husband have a really good thing going on.

decides2dream

Evergreen85024 wrote:

decides2dream wrote:

Evergreen85024 wrote:

I have total free rein when it comes to PJ and that has been the understanding since we saw them in 91 together and he did not get it like I did.

He just knows. If I get an email, I buy and figure it all out later. End of story.

Oh, and he knows EV is officially on "the list" too, and it's ok.

and that's awesome for you!
others just conduct their marriages a wee bit differently, and as long as everyone is happy, win-win! there is no one right way to live, and certainly no one right way to be happy in a relationship.


i just would never even think of say planning a trip to oz for a 2 weeks without talking about it first with my husband. and i know he feels, and acts, the same way for his own wants and plans. we still give each other pretty much free reign to do as we choose....we simply prefer to consult with one another first. this works for us, your way works for your relationship...others have different ways, and so it goes....

Ya'll aren't seeing where I am coming from. I do not ask if I can do something, but if I were going on a two week trip, I would sure tell my guy first with plenty of time to make sure there are no conflicts. IF something comes up, like the 150 tickets to watch the Crowes record, then it is understood that it was a once in a lifetime thing and you jump on it.

.

nah, i did understand you completely....and i simply added that some of us don't do things exactly as you do in your marriage.....and as long as all are happy in their own selves, their respective relationships....it's all good. i do 'ask'...i don't tell, we always discuss in depth. or i say i would like to, what do you think? b/c i know myself, and sometimes i am not sensible about things, the finances of it, etc. and still....i've always had the choice to do whatever i want, as does he. but we still both 'ask' b/c we personally like to ask for another pov. it's just how we operate and that's all i was getting at - we all do things differently.


i am glad to read you are so happily married, i am quite happy to say after 17 years together, we are too. whatever works! there are many roads to happiness together. it's great to maintain your sense of self and individuality, and still be happy together as well....definitely makes life so much better.

Evergreen

nah, i did understand you completely....and i simply added that some of us don't do things exactly as you do in your marriage.....and as long as all are happy in their own selves, their respective relationships....it's all good. i do 'ask'...i don't tell, we always discuss in depth. or i say i would like to, what do you think? b/c i know myself, and sometimes i am not sensible about things, the finances of it, etc. and still....i've always had the choice to do whatever i want, as does he. but we still both 'ask' b/c we personally like to ask for another pov. it's just how we operate and that's all i was getting at - we all do things differently.


i am glad to read you are so happily married, i am quite happy to say after 17 years together, we are too. whatever works! there are many roads to happiness together. it's great to maintain your sense of self and individuality, and still be happy together as well....definitely makes life so much better.

You're right, you have to find the dynamic that works best.

Believe it or not, I hardly know anyone that has made it as long as either of us. Just goes to prove that different things work for different people!

But, going back to the actual thread discussion, I still think that female are in the minority when it comes to live rock concerts, except when it is Bret Michaels (gag) or something, and I attribute that to the fact that they let themselves go. Not in the physical sense, but in the sense that they settle into the married and kid thing. As far as the young girls, there were raised on music-shit by those same Mothers that gave them self up to suburbia. It's a vicious cycle and might actually attribute to the shit bands of the 2000's.

Minou

decides2dream wrote:

[i am glad to read you are so happily married, i am quite happy to say after 17 years together, we are too. whatever works! there are many roads to happiness together. it's great to maintain your sense of self and individuality, and still be happy together as well....definitely makes life so much better.

How NICE for all of you! Don't worry about me, I'll be just fine. I'm not jealous at all! :?

decides2dream

Minou wrote:

decides2dream wrote:

[i am glad to read you are so happily married, i am quite happy to say after 17 years together, we are too. whatever works! there are many roads to happiness together. it's great to maintain your sense of self and individuality, and still be happy together as well....definitely makes life so much better.

How NICE for all of you! Don't worry about me, I'll be just fine. I'm not jealous at all! :?

:(

but....you still go and see live pearl jam....on your own, with friends, whatever...right? that has got to bring you a lot of joy as well, yes?


and hey, as the OP rightly points out, there are tons of guys at pj shows, so who knows?

Minou

[quote="decides2dream
:(

but....you still go and see live pearl jam....on your own, with friends, whatever...right? that has got to bring you a lot of joy as well, yes?


and hey, as the OP rightly points out, there are tons of guys at pj shows, so who knows? [/quote]

Yeah, and I'm cute andnot weird...it's just hard to find genuinely nice guys.

Lauri

Minou wrote:

[

haha after 21 PJ shows, many involving travel and meeting other fans, I've never met a guy. It's funny, I think it would be cool to date someone who likes Pearl Jam, but at the same time, most of the guys I see at shows don't really seem to be my type (and like a TON seem to be married). Judging by most of the tag-a-long girlfriends there, I don't think I'm their type either

But you should never be jealous of someone because they're in a relationship. Having a relationship isn't necessarily better than not having one, even a good one.

Minou

Lauri wrote:

Minou wrote:

[

Having a relationship isn't necessarily better than not having one, even a good one.

Yes, that's true.

polaris_x

Minou wrote:

Yeah, and I'm cute andnot weird...it's just hard to find genuinely nice guys.

not sure if you listen to cbc but they have that comedy show where two comics debate each other ... anyhooo - the other day it was a female comic arguing good guys are hard to find while the guy disagreed ... pretty funny ...

also - my recently single friend (female) has been giving me horror stories ... i always assume that there are plenty of good guys out there but apparently they aren't online ... dunno where they are ...

JaneNY

I have been to shows by myself (rode a bus from syracuse to nyc, saw the show, slept on the bus back in the middle of the night to be back for stuff the next morning), driven 600 miles to Toledo etc., and have gone with one or the other of my daughters much of the time. My husband is not into it. He's cool with me going though. That's why we've stayed married for 27 years - we give each other space to do things we like that don't include the other person necessarily. I don't need a guy with me to enjoy Pearl Jam and I rock as hard as the next individual. I like RATM too, and NIN - its not just PJ that has the phenomenon being discussed.

Minou

JaneNY wrote:

I have been to shows by myself (rode a bus from syracuse to nyc, saw the show, slept on the bus back in the middle of the night to be back for stuff the next morning), driven 600 miles to Toledo etc., and have gone with one or the other of my daughters much of the time. My husband is not into it. He's cool with me going though. That's why we've stayed married for 27 years - we give each other space to do things we like that don't include the other person necessarily. I don't need a guy with me to enjoy Pearl Jam and I rock as hard as the next individual. I like RATM too, and NIN - its not just PJ that has the phenomenon being discussed.

That's so fabulous- good for you!

Lauri

polaris_x wrote:

also - my recently single friend (female) has been giving me horror stories ... i always assume that there are plenty of good guys out there but apparently they aren't online ... dunno where they are ...

haha I dabble in online dating (if you want to meet single men these days, I'm really not sure how else you would do it) and I just kind of laugh at the "horror" stories. I go on bad dates and then crack people up for decades with the stories. It's great. You just can't go into it with the expectation that you're going to meet your prince charming.

mrpink90

Lauri wrote:

polaris_x wrote:

also - my recently single friend (female) has been giving me horror stories ... i always assume that there are plenty of good guys out there but apparently they aren't online ... dunno where they are ...

haha I dabble in online dating (if you want to meet single men these days, I'm really not sure how else you would do it) and I just kind of laugh at the "horror" stories. I go on bad dates and then crack people up for decades with the stories. It's great. You just can't go into it with the expectation that you're going to meet your prince charming.

So Lauri, how you doin? Where u from? You like Pearl Jam? Can i buy u a drink?

Mamasan23

Lauri wrote:

But here's my question on clearing schedules- what if you get the email from the ten club that the ticket presale is NOW and you have no time to get in touch to check if it's ok. Do you go ahead and order them any way?

OH YES! When the Chgo night 2 tix went on sale, I got a text from a friend and I was having a party at my house. I freaked out a little bit - screamed, ran up the stairs and ordered the tickets. THEN I told my husband. It is just understood that when PJ comes to town, I am going to go. He just laughed at me!

decides2dream

Mamasan23 wrote:

Lauri wrote:

But here's my question on clearing schedules- what if you get the email from the ten club that the ticket presale is NOW and you have no time to get in touch to check if it's ok. Do you go ahead and order them any way?

OH YES! When the Chgo night 2 tix went on sale, I got a text from a friend and I was having a party at my house. I freaked out a little bit - screamed, ran up the stairs and ordered the tickets. THEN I told my husband. It is just understood that when PJ comes to town, I am going to go. He just laughed at me!

i think for hometown shows that is a given for just about all of us...otherwise, how could anyone be happily married here? it's only when thinking of doing some west coast/canadian gigs 2005....or the italian tour 2006...or a few euroshows in 2007....or considering oz, maybe hawaii(for once together!)...that discussions ever happen.

Lauri

hehe I was just thinking about this thread and I remembered a time when I was watching Live at the Garden with my dad and he said, "don't any girls go to pearl jam concerts? what's the point of being in a rock band if no girls go to your concerts?" .

katellis

i (a girl) was at the two chicago shows, and both nights i was nearly surrounded by guys except a few girls who were very obviously there with boyfriends and NOT into the concert. kept leaving during songs, talked to their bf's while the bf was trying to rock out, etc.

although i am one of the few people who have done the opposite -- a few years back i brought my non-pj fan boyfriend to a show. he was not converted ..

Minou

Lauri wrote:

hehe I was just thinking about this thread and I remembered a time when I was watching Live at the Garden with my dad and he said, "don't any girls go to pearl jam concerts? what's the point of being in a rock band if no girls go to your concerts?" .

Pearl Jam should play a "female fans only" show just for fun.

Jeanwah

Minou wrote:

Lauri wrote:

hehe I was just thinking about this thread and I remembered a time when I was watching Live at the Garden with my dad and he said, "don't any girls go to pearl jam concerts? what's the point of being in a rock band if no girls go to your concerts?" .

Pearl Jam should play a "female fans only" show just for fun.

I'd be all for that! It would be in a nice small venue where we all get front row.