Ten club pairs at the shows- observation

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  • Cinnamon Girl
    Cinnamon Girl Posts: 1,854
    Hmmm....I didn`t read through all the posts, but wanted to add that I went with a girl to the T.O. show. (and we rocked out all night!!)
    05-10-06, 08-05-07, 06-14-08 , 08-12-08(EV), 06-11-09(EV), 06-12-09(EV), 08-21-09, 05-10-10, 09-11-11, 09-12-11, 07-16-13, 07-19-13, 10-12-13, 10-21-13, 10-22-13,
  • hollyster70
    hollyster70 Posts: 228
    Sweet, MrPink....I'm sick of going to shows alone.




    :lol::lol::lol:
    Be Kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle
  • Evergreen
    Evergreen Posts: 492
    Ok...this thread is actually cracking my ass out!

    BUT, it is really interesting. At first I was kinda offended, being a chick that like GOOD rock music. Then I started thinking about it, and realized I am a minority. I follow a couple of other bands, too, and there are many more guys at the shows.

    That got me to thinking, though. The bands I go see the most are older, my age. so, a lot of the fans are closer to my age too. Can it be girl/age thing? I do have friends that lost some of themselves as they got married, had kids, and let themselves get engulfed with real life. I was fortunate to marry a great guy that appreciated my free spirit and has helped me keep it. On the flip side, I see LOTS of husbands that still have hobbies that they are passionate about.

    Then even more, there is that question of how and why a certain band or a song just grabs your heart and soul and runs with it. Why me and not my best girlfriend, or my husband for that matter? Is it how you were raised? Who you hung out with? That doesn't make sense, though, because in High School I was a total cheerleader type that was in dance class all the time. Yeah, college exposed me to some GREAT music in Austin and Stevie Ray Vaughn changed my life. Then I moved west and had friends in bands in San Diego and LA. Maybe they influenced me?

    I need music that matters, is organic and evokes emotion, like PJ does way beyond any other bands. With that said, I really figured that more girls would be for that since, yes, they think more and are more emotional than guys.

    I have no answers. Maybe I have more testosterone that other girls. All I know is that it doesn't need explanation. I am the fortunate one that can blast Release and cry every time, have dirty thoughts when listening to Wash, and dance my ASS OFF when World Wide Suicide come on.

    I can't believe music can be gender specific. It's all encompassing. :D

    Oh, and by the way...I am cute. AAAAND...guys are always really nice at the shows anyway...makes it kinda nice and fun.
  • A satellite forever orbiting
    A satellite forever orbiting Posts: 1,888
    Evergreen85024 wrote:
    Maybe I have more testosterone that other girls.

    you had me until i read that. :P
    If nothing is everything, I'll have it all
  • Lauri
    Lauri Posts: 748
    Evergreen85024 wrote:

    That got me to thinking, though. The bands I go see the most are older, my age. so, a lot of the fans are closer to my age too. Can it be girl/age thing? I do have friends that lost some of themselves as they got married, had kids, and let themselves get engulfed with real life. I was fortunate to marry a great guy that appreciated my free spirit and has helped me keep it. On the flip side, I see LOTS of husbands that still have hobbies that they are passionate about.

    Really interesting idea that I had kind of been thinking of and wasn't able to really articulate as well as you did (though I would disagree that marriage and kids are "real" life and the rest somehow isn't real...). I read an article recently about women losing their identities with marriage and kids, that you can see it on facebook- women post photos of their kids as their profile photo. And I know I see it with some of the women around me-most of them have just recently gotten married or haven't quite yet and don't yet actually have kids, but they have become consumed with the ideas of getting married and having kids and everything else has sort of fallen by the wayside- hard won careers, interests, hobbies...even important issues...even friends...seem to fade away. But I wonder if this happens as much to men?
  • Minou
    Minou Posts: 99
    Lauri wrote:
    Evergreen85024 wrote:

    Really interesting idea that I had kind of been thinking of and wasn't able to really articulate as well as you did (though I would disagree that marriage and kids are "real" life and the rest somehow isn't real...). I read an article recently about women losing their identities with marriage and kids, that you can see it on facebook- women post photos of their kids as their profile photo. And I know I see it with some of the women around me-most of them have just recently gotten married or haven't quite yet and don't yet actually have kids, but they have become consumed with the ideas of getting married and having kids and everything else has sort of fallen by the wayside- hard won careers, interests, hobbies...even important issues...even friends...seem to fade away. But I wonder if this happens as much to men?

    It likely doesn't happen as much with men, no, because women are much more integral to the private sphere. Even if they have full-time jobs, studies show that women end up working two full shifts a day- employee at work followed by homemaker in the evening. It doesn't leave much time for personal identity- unless you consider chronic stress an identity. This is the case even with married women. Women are naturally wired to care about others' well being because we are the child-bearers.

    Unrelated--

    ...a girl doesn't have to be all tough and motorcyclish to love hard rock music. Most people would never guess I am in to hard music just by looking at me.
  • smilesometimes
    smilesometimes Posts: 12
    I decided after seeing my last show in 2008, with a guy who's not a fan, that the main thing is to go with someone who's as excited about PJ .. unfortunately my friends don't share my good taste. This discussion, even with all the jerks weighing in, has given me confidence to find a fan, doesn't matter if they're male or female, or just go alone next time (Philly Halloween)
  • Evergreen
    Evergreen Posts: 492
    A satellite forever orbiting wrote:
    Evergreen85024 wrote:
    Maybe I have more testosterone that other girls.

    you had me until i read that. :P


    I was kidding!

    I am full of femaleness.
  • mrpink90
    mrpink90 Posts: 415
    Yea guys dont let the real world get in the way of our hobbies. When we're single all we think about is sports and boobs, when we're married all we think about is sports and boobs, when we have kids all we think about is sports and boobs, and when we get divorced all we think about is sports and boobs (which is the reason for the divorce)

    But not me of course, i also think about Pearl Jam!
  • Lauri
    Lauri Posts: 748
    Minou wrote:
    ...a girl doesn't have to be all tough and motorcyclish to love hard rock music. Most people would never guess I am in to hard music just by looking at me.

    haha people have been kind of shocked to learn that about me too (and really, if you look at most of the female fans at PJ shows, they all pretty feminine and/or "normal"). I don't think anyone is shocked to learn that I like Peal Jam, but I've gotten some interesting responses to Bad Religion, Alice in Chains, my obsession with Henry Rollins...
    smilesometimes wrote:
    I decided after seeing my last show in 2008, with a guy who's not a fan, that the main thing is to go with someone who's as excited about PJ .. unfortunately my friends don't share my good taste. This discussion, even with all the jerks weighing in, has given me confidence to find a fan, doesn't matter if they're male or female, or just go alone next time (Philly Halloween)

    I think this is a good way to go! I can't imagine going to a Pearl Jam show with anyone I've ever dated. I mean most of the guys I've dated have sort of liked them and stuff, but most have thought they broke up in 1994 or something! That's just a waste of a ticket.
  • mrpink90
    mrpink90 Posts: 415
    because of this thread me and holly are engaged, now if only i can find that damn G spot
  • A satellite forever orbiting
    A satellite forever orbiting Posts: 1,888
    Evergreen85024 wrote:
    A satellite forever orbiting wrote:
    Evergreen85024 wrote:
    Maybe I have more testosterone that other girls.

    you had me until i read that. :P


    I was kidding!

    I am full of femaleness.

    so was i. do i have too much estrogen if i'm weeping as i write this? ;)
    If nothing is everything, I'll have it all
  • hollyster70
    hollyster70 Posts: 228
    mrpink90 wrote:
    because of this thread me and holly are engaged, now if only i can find that damn G spot

    That fact that you will even attempt to find it is good enough for me...see you in Philly....honey. :lol:
    Be Kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle
  • Minou
    Minou Posts: 99
    mrpink90 wrote:
    Yea guys dont let the real world get in the way of our hobbies. When we're single all we think about is sports and boobs, when we're married all we think about is sports and boobs, when we have kids all we think about is sports and boobs, and when we get divorced all we think about is sports and boobs (which is the reason for the divorce)

    But not me of course, i also think about Pearl Jam!


    And if a woman who has a family keeps her hobbies and friends, she is considered to be self-indulgent.
  • Lsk6453
    Lsk6453 Ponte Vedra, FL Posts: 568
    I am looking for a female (I'm male) fan for Oct 30 and 31. I have my pairs, but no one wants to go with me. The tickets even come with a hotel room - double beds of course.
    Shows attended: 39

    7/5/98 Dallas, 10/17/00 Dallas, 4/30/03 Uniondale, 7/8/03 MSG 1, 7/9/03 MSG 2, 9/28/04 Boston 1, 9/29/04 Boston 2, 10/03/05 Philly, 4/15/06 SNL, 5/5/06 Irving Plaza, 5/13/06 Hartford, 6/1/06 NJ 1, 6/3/06 NJ 2, 6/20/08 Camden, 6/27/08 Hartford, 7/1/08 The Beacon, 10/27/09 Philly, 10/28/09 Philly, 10/30/09 Philly, 10/31/09 Philly, 5/20/10 MSG, 5/21/10 MSG, 10/18/13 Brooklyn, 10/19/13, Brooklyn, 10/25/13 Hartford, 11/15/13 Dallas, 10/12/14 Austin 2, 5/1/16 MSG 1, 5/2/16 MSG 2, 8/5/15 Fenway 1, 4/7/17 RRHOF Induction, 8/8/18 Seattle 1, 8/10/18 Seattle  2, 9/2/18 Fenway 1, 9/13/23 Ft. Worth 1, 9/15/23 Ft. Worth 2, 5/16/24 Vegas 1, 5/18/24 Vegas 2, 9/17/24 Fenway 2, 4/29/25 ATL 1, 5/1/2025 ATL 2
  • Lauri
    Lauri Posts: 748
    Minou wrote:
    mrpink90 wrote:
    Yea guys dont let the real world get in the way of our hobbies. When we're single all we think about is sports and boobs, when we're married all we think about is sports and boobs, when we have kids all we think about is sports and boobs, and when we get divorced all we think about is sports and boobs (which is the reason for the divorce)

    But not me of course, i also think about Pearl Jam!


    And if a woman who has a family keeps her hobbies and friends, she is considered to be self-indulgent.

    Even a woman who DOESN'T have a family, because people think we're selfish or immature by nature. I think single men face this as well, but I get the feeling it's kind of like an "oh well, boys will be boys" thing because people think they have longer to have kids (which has actually been debated recently! but I digress from the topic).
  • Jeanwah
    Jeanwah Posts: 6,363
    Minou wrote:
    It likely doesn't happen as much with men, no, because women are much more integral to the private sphere. Even if they have full-time jobs, studies show that women end up working two full shifts a day- employee at work followed by homemaker in the evening. It doesn't leave much time for personal identity- unless you consider chronic stress an identity. This is the case even with married women. Women are naturally wired to care about others' well being because we are the child-bearers.

    Unrelated--

    ...a girl doesn't have to be all tough and motorcyclish to love hard rock music. Most people would never guess I am in to hard music just by looking at me.
    Ugh. That was me a year ago, and I burned out several times before hitting bottom from the dual roles with f/t work and mom duties/house care taker. I decided enough was enough, quit the job and took a few months to get my mental health back. That lifestyle and mindframe can kill a person because the chronic stress leads to serious health problems. I decided peace of mind and sense of self has to come first, no matter what. And that means my music hobby is somewhat priority. I don't let the world's judgements affect me anymore. I'm too old for that.

    And I also don't look the stereotype either.
  • Minou
    Minou Posts: 99
    Lauri wrote:
    Minou wrote:
    mrpink90 wrote:
    Yea guys dont let the real world get in the way of our hobbies. When we're single all we think about is sports and boobs, when we're married all we think about is sports and boobs, when we have kids all we think about is sports and boobs, and when we get divorced all we think about is sports and boobs (which is the reason for the divorce)

    But not me of course, i also think about Pearl Jam!


    And if a woman who has a family keeps her hobbies and friends, she is considered to be self-indulgent.

    Even a woman who DOESN'T have a family, because people think we're selfish or immature by nature. I think single men face this as well, but I get the feeling it's kind of like an "oh well, boys will be boys" thing because people think they have longer to have kids (which has actually been debated recently! but I digress from the topic).

    Yes, and the double standards, which are all over the place, are extremely irritating. :roll: This is why I would like to find a feminist-thinking man who understands how things actually are.
  • Evergreen
    Evergreen Posts: 492
    Jeanwah wrote:
    Minou wrote:
    It likely doesn't happen as much with men, no, because women are much more integral to the private sphere. Even if they have full-time jobs, studies show that women end up working two full shifts a day- employee at work followed by homemaker in the evening. It doesn't leave much time for personal identity- unless you consider chronic stress an identity. This is the case even with married women. Women are naturally wired to care about others' well being because we are the child-bearers.

    Unrelated--

    ...a girl doesn't have to be all tough and motorcyclish to love hard rock music. Most people would never guess I am in to hard music just by looking at me.
    Ugh. That was me a year ago, and I burned out several times before hitting bottom from the dual roles with f/t work and mom duties/house care taker. I decided enough was enough, quit the job and took a few months to get my mental health back. That lifestyle and mindframe can kill a person because the chronic stress leads to serious health problems. I decided peace of mind and sense of self has to come first, no matter what. And that means my music hobby is somewhat priority. I don't let the world's judgements affect me anymore. I'm too old for that.

    And I also don't look the stereotype either.


    Yay for you! I found myself lost about 3 times in the last 20 years of being married and having a kid. I married at 20, got pregnant right away, worked full time and went to school. My parents disowned me because I had married a man that was married when we met, and he was older and had kids. It all happened to fast and I gave up me and well, never had time to be me and realize my dreams and goals. At the time it was just easier to give her up, if that makes any sense.

    I hit rock bottom a few times and music literally saved me...SOOOO many people just do not get this. I think I have deeper rooted feelings than a lot of my other girlfriends. I had felt I had lost my entire purpose in life, what I was doing was meaningless, and I had no passion left at all. Don't take me wrong, I still am with my husband and love him and unconditionally love my son. It took a few times, but I had to do the same as you did and realize I had to fight to get me back again. It is nice to have me back and I like her and I am at peace. I took a major career change and am doing something that is meaningful to me, bought that piece of property in Big Sur as it has always been "home", and am living a simple life...give me a PJ show over a coach purse any day.

    It was essential in raising my son too. He turned out full of life, passion and is such a free spirit and free thinker. He is 20 and gave up "life" and moved out with 200 bucks and became a snowboard instructor and lives in Vail for the winter and New Zealand for the summer. Not many kids would do that. I am glad he is staying himself and not what is the society norm...

    Anyway...music has literally change my life for what it was intended to be, I had gotten off my life track and don't know how lost I would have ended up with out some of PJ's lyrics and experiencing their music. Seriously though, a lot of my girlfriends don't get that at all. I think they let themselves go and not fight to kept their inner passions. I don't know...maybe that is why I migrated here.
  • Minou
    Minou Posts: 99
    Evergreen85024 wrote:


    Yay for you! I found myself lost about 3 times in the last 20 years of being married and having a kid. I married at 20, got pregnant right away, worked full time and went to school. My parents disowned me because I had married a man that was married when we met, and he was older and had kids. It all happened to fast and I gave up me and well, never had time to be me and realize my dreams and goals. At the time it was just easier to give her up, if that makes any sense.

    I hit rock bottom a few times and music literally saved me...SOOOO many people just do not get this. I think I have deeper rooted feelings than a lot of my other girlfriends. I had felt I had lost my entire purpose in life, what I was doing was meaningless, and I had no passion left at all. Don't take me wrong, I still am with my husband and love him and unconditionally love my son. It took a few times, but I had to do the same as you did and realize I had to fight to get me back again. It is nice to have me back and I like her and I am at peace. I took a major career change and am doing something that is meaningful to me, bought that piece of property in Big Sur as it has always been "home", and am living a simple life...give me a PJ show over a coach purse any day.

    It was essential in raising my son too. He turned out full of life, passion and is such a free spirit and free thinker. He is 20 and gave up "life" and moved out with 200 bucks and became a snowboard instructor and lives in Vail for the winter and New Zealand for the summer. Not many kids would do that. I am glad he is staying himself and not what is the society norm...

    Anyway...music has literally change my life for what it was intended to be, I had gotten off my life track and don't know how lost I would have ended up with out some of PJ's lyrics and experiencing their music. Seriously though, a lot of my girlfriends don't get that at all. I think they let themselves go and not fight to kept their inner passions. I don't know...maybe that is why I migrated here.


    Well, I know what you mean. Rearviewmirror and Betterman helped get me through one of the worst experiences of my life so far. But unlike the Betterman lyrics, I sure as hell ain't going "back again."

    The wrong relationship, coupled with the wrong self-concept, can lead to disaster. Thank goodness for music that helps you see things clearer and also shows you that you're not alone.

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