"give me a PJ show over a coach purse any day"....Evergreen.
Well said sister. I can't convey how much I agree with you and how shocked I am that NONE of my other friends feel this way. I will choose EXPERIENCES over possesions everytime.
"give me a PJ show over a coach purse any day"....Evergreen.
Well said sister. I can't convey how much I agree with you and how shocked I am that NONE of my other friends feel this way. I will choose EXPERIENCES over possesions everytime.
This right here is the whole point of this friend. You and the other female PJ fans are in the very small minority. So some of us used some crude stereotypes to try and bang the point across. The reality is that most of the girls in attendance at a PJ show are the "other" ticket and given the choice, they would rather have the Coach purse (in fact I know that at least one male PJ fan had to purchase a new Coach purse in Chicago to bribe his girlfriend to go and see the shows with him).
1/12/1879, 4/8/1156, 2/6/1977, who gives a shit, ...
because guys will go to a concert with a buddy. chicks are needy and need a guy to take them.
and when was the last time you saw a girl go solo to a show??? never? yet guys go solo all the time. why, cause we got some.....balls.
It's more than that. Sometimes if women go alone drunk men bother them. Going with another woman protects them from that somewhat.
Or, large people do things like bring their buddies up from the back to take over a lone woman's seat. Being smaller is part of being a woman too, not just having different parts in our pants!
because guys will go to a concert with a buddy. chicks are needy and need a guy to take them.
and when was the last time you saw a girl go solo to a show??? never? yet guys go solo all the time. why, cause we got some.....balls.
It's more than that. Sometimes if women go alone drunk men bother them. Going with another woman protects them from that somewhat.
The safety issue is the only thing that would ever prevent me from doing something alone.
I go to the movies alone, I've gone to sit-down restaurants alone and I would definitely go to a concert alone. In fact, I would prefer it- there are plenty of cool people to dance with and you don't have to worry whether your non-fan friend is having fun. Not all "chicks" are needy and not all guys are independent. There are plenty of needy guys out there. Neediness is a people thing, not a girl thing. You've been exposed to the wrong kind of girls, my friend.
Yay for you! I found myself lost about 3 times in the last 20 years of being married and having a kid. I married at 20, got pregnant right away, worked full time and went to school. My parents disowned me because I had married a man that was married when we met, and he was older and had kids. It all happened to fast and I gave up me and well, never had time to be me and realize my dreams and goals. At the time it was just easier to give her up, if that makes any sense.
I hit rock bottom a few times and music literally saved me...SOOOO many people just do not get this. I think I have deeper rooted feelings than a lot of my other girlfriends. I had felt I had lost my entire purpose in life, what I was doing was meaningless, and I had no passion left at all. Don't take me wrong, I still am with my husband and love him and unconditionally love my son. It took a few times, but I had to do the same as you did and realize I had to fight to get me back again. It is nice to have me back and I like her and I am at peace. I took a major career change and am doing something that is meaningful to me, bought that piece of property in Big Sur as it has always been "home", and am living a simple life...give me a PJ show over a coach purse any day.
It was essential in raising my son too. He turned out full of life, passion and is such a free spirit and free thinker. He is 20 and gave up "life" and moved out with 200 bucks and became a snowboard instructor and lives in Vail for the winter and New Zealand for the summer. Not many kids would do that. I am glad he is staying himself and not what is the society norm...
Anyway...music has literally change my life for what it was intended to be, I had gotten off my life track and don't know how lost I would have ended up with out some of PJ's lyrics and experiencing their music. Seriously though, a lot of my girlfriends don't get that at all. I think they let themselves go and not fight to kept their inner passions. I don't know...maybe that is why I migrated here.
Sounds like we both know what can only save us...;) the music!
I went through 2 years of Hell before I hit my bottom. Right as I entered Hell (when a company acquired the one I was working for and required all remaining workers to work 50+ hrs/week), I had met Jeff Ament which had thrown me into rediscovering the band, and I found an outlet to keep myself alive for the moment. YIELD literally saved me. My husband was very supportive, and knew how sick I had become from losing myself and having simply no time to get better. Time sickness, I call it. When I was looking for a new job, flexibility and my values trumped pay and amenities. Pearl Jam continues to keep me going and always inspires me.
Like you and others, my friends don't understand it either. Give me some live music over any thing material any day. That's why I come here and to the shows hoping to connect to other awesome women. And the guys can be awesome too.
"give me a PJ show over a coach purse any day"....Evergreen.
Well said sister. I can't convey how much I agree with you and how shocked I am that NONE of my other friends feel this way. I will choose EXPERIENCES over possesions everytime.
This right here is the whole point of this friend. You and the other female PJ fans are in the very small minority. So some of us used some crude stereotypes to try and bang the point across. The reality is that most of the girls in attendance at a PJ show are the "other" ticket and given the choice, they would rather have the Coach purse (in fact I know that at least one male PJ fan had to purchase a new Coach purse in Chicago to bribe his girlfriend to go and see the shows with him).
This begs the question then, why are the guys going through all this to bring this girl to a show? Why don't they bring a friend who at least values a good rock show, or sell the ticket to another fan? Why are the guys so needy that they feel they have to bring their girlfriend along with them to everything and will go to lengths of bribery to do so? What is the benefit of that? Hell, going to a PJ show is expensive enough, I'd never buy a $500 piece of crap on top of it. Can some guy explain this to me? If your girlfriend is the type of person that demands a coach purse as retribution for getting to go to an awesome show, you know you're never going to "convert" her, so what is the point? I really want to understand this, because these mopey girls really bring down the vibe.
I have a female friend who has claimed in the past to "love" certain musicians or bands, but then will say, "I wish I could see them live." My response is, "so...buy a ticket next time they come to town?" And that's just beyond her comprehension. This girl has a lot of money, travels all the time, and lives in a big city. She has no problem spending money on anything else really, but for some reason she doesn't seem to realize that you can just buy a ticket and go to a show. I don't know, it's extremely weird.
This begs the question then, why are the guys going through all this to bring this girl to a show? Why don't they bring a friend who at least values a good rock show, or sell the ticket to another fan? Why are the guys so needy that they feel they have to bring their girlfriend along with them to everything and will go to lengths of bribery to do so? What is the benefit of that? Hell, going to a PJ show is expensive enough, I'd never buy a $500 piece of crap on top of it. Can some guy explain this to me? If your girlfriend is the type of person that demands a coach purse as retribution for getting to go to an awesome show, you know you're never going to "convert" her, so what is the point? I really want to understand this, because these mopey girls really bring down the vibe.
I have a female friend who has claimed in the past to "love" certain musicians or bands, but then will say, "I wish I could see them live." My response is, "so...buy a ticket next time they come to town?" And that's just beyond her comprehension. This girl has a lot of money, travels all the time, and lives in a big city. She has no problem spending money on anything else really, but for some reason she doesn't seem to realize that you can just buy a ticket and go to a show. I don't know, it's extremely weird.
Because we are inherently stupid and easy to manipulate and we end up giving in to a woman's demands (no matter how petty it ends up being).
1/12/1879, 4/8/1156, 2/6/1977, who gives a shit, ...
"give me a PJ show over a coach purse any day"....Evergreen.
Well said sister. I can't convey how much I agree with you and how shocked I am that NONE of my other friends feel this way. I will choose EXPERIENCES over possesions everytime.
This right here is the whole point of this friend. You and the other female PJ fans are in the very small minority. So some of us used some crude stereotypes to try and bang the point across. The reality is that most of the girls in attendance at a PJ show are the "other" ticket and given the choice, they would rather have the Coach purse (in fact I know that at least one male PJ fan had to purchase a new Coach purse in Chicago to bribe his girlfriend to go and see the shows with him).
I do not deny that females at a PJ show are in the minority and of that minority theres an even smaller minority that are actually real fans but I think its silly to chalk it up to genes or other sterotypical insanity. Its like saying its a genetic predisposition for males to be neandrothals or like to beat up girls or rape or form the boy bands that have ruined music.
BTW, like the person that posted above, I wonder why anyone would drag ANYONE to a PJ show that didn't really want to go. Post that ticket on the Porch, man!
This begs the question then, why are the guys going through all this to bring this girl to a show? Why don't they bring a friend who at least values a good rock show, or sell the ticket to another fan? Why are the guys so needy that they feel they have to bring their girlfriend along with them to everything and will go to lengths of bribery to do so? What is the benefit of that? Hell, going to a PJ show is expensive enough, I'd never buy a $500 piece of crap on top of it. Can some guy explain this to me? If your girlfriend is the type of person that demands a coach purse as retribution for getting to go to an awesome show, you know you're never going to "convert" her, so what is the point? I really want to understand this, because these mopey girls really bring down the vibe.
I have a female friend who has claimed in the past to "love" certain musicians or bands, but then will say, "I wish I could see them live." My response is, "so...buy a ticket next time they come to town?" And that's just beyond her comprehension. This girl has a lot of money, travels all the time, and lives in a big city. She has no problem spending money on anything else really, but for some reason she doesn't seem to realize that you can just buy a ticket and go to a show. I don't know, it's extremely weird.
Because we are inherently stupid and easy to manipulate and we end up giving in to a woman's demands (no matter how petty it ends up being).
This begs the question then, why are the guys going through all this to bring this girl to a show? Why don't they bring a friend who at least values a good rock show, or sell the ticket to another fan? Why are the guys so needy that they feel they have to bring their girlfriend along with them to everything and will go to lengths of bribery to do so? What is the benefit of that? Hell, going to a PJ show is expensive enough, I'd never buy a $500 piece of crap on top of it. Can some guy explain this to me? If your girlfriend is the type of person that demands a coach purse as retribution for getting to go to an awesome show, you know you're never going to "convert" her, so what is the point? I really want to understand this, because these mopey girls really bring down the vibe.
I have a female friend who has claimed in the past to "love" certain musicians or bands, but then will say, "I wish I could see them live." My response is, "so...buy a ticket next time they come to town?" And that's just beyond her comprehension. This girl has a lot of money, travels all the time, and lives in a big city. She has no problem spending money on anything else really, but for some reason she doesn't seem to realize that you can just buy a ticket and go to a show. I don't know, it's extremely weird.
Because we are inherently stupid and easy to manipulate and we end up giving in to a woman's demands (no matter how petty it ends up being).
but the woman/girl isn't "demanding" to go to the show, she doesn't want to! So what I'm saying is, why is it so important to the guys to have her there that they'll drag her against her will or bribe her with presents?
[Because we are inherently stupid and easy to manipulate and we end up giving in to a woman's demands (no matter how petty it ends up being).
That's no good at all. Manipulation, guilt trips, all of it- I can't stand it. It's emotional abuse. If I were a guy, I would be able to take maybe 10 minutes of that and then I would be gone. Couples should try to indulge each other's interests, in my opinion. If you don't like your boyfriend's music, you should bloody well pretend you do- it's part of being in a relationship. Make the best of it or get out, you know?
but the woman/girl isn't "demanding" to go to the show, she doesn't want to! So what I'm saying is, why is it so important to the guys to have her there that they'll drag her against her will or bribe her with presents?
Ah -- but it's quite the trip to drive to Chicago from here (11 hours or so) and to get permission from her to go to Chicago for the show, he had to take her to Chicago and buy her a $500 plastic bag -- otherwise no PJ show for him.
1/12/1879, 4/8/1156, 2/6/1977, who gives a shit, ...
but the woman/girl isn't "demanding" to go to the show, she doesn't want to! So what I'm saying is, why is it so important to the guys to have her there that they'll drag her against her will or bribe her with presents?
Ah -- but it's quite the trip to drive to Chicago from here (11 hours or so) and to get permission from her to go to Chicago for the show, he had to take her to Chicago and buy her a $500 plastic bag -- otherwise no PJ show for him.
Getting "permission" from a partner-- hugely annoying structure in a relationship. 'Tried that and don't recommend it. I mean, think about how ridiculous it is to have to justify, explain and ask for permission to do things? It's like being 6 years old again.
but the woman/girl isn't "demanding" to go to the show, she doesn't want to! So what I'm saying is, why is it so important to the guys to have her there that they'll drag her against her will or bribe her with presents?
Ah -- but it's quite the trip to drive to Chicago from here (11 hours or so) and to get permission from her to go to Chicago for the show, he had to take her to Chicago and buy her a $500 plastic bag -- otherwise no PJ show for him.
Getting "permission" from a partner-- hugely annoying structure in a relationship. 'Tried that and don't recommend it. I mean, think about how ridiculous it is to have to justify, explain and ask for permission to do things? It's like being 6 years old again.
That is sooooo fucking true. You should NEVER have to ask permission. If you do, you're not with your soulmate. Gotta respect each other and your partner's passions and interests and then make sure you help them keep those passions and intersts. Remeber who you fell in love with in the first place, you know. You have the key to keep that fire burning within their soul.
This begs the question then, why are the guys going through all this to bring this girl to a show? Why don't they bring a friend who at least values a good rock show, or sell the ticket to another fan? Why are the guys so needy that they feel they have to bring their girlfriend along with them to everything and will go to lengths of bribery to do so? What is the benefit of that? Hell, going to a PJ show is expensive enough, I'd never buy a $500 piece of crap on top of it. Can some guy explain this to me? If your girlfriend is the type of person that demands a coach purse as retribution for getting to go to an awesome show, you know you're never going to "convert" her, so what is the point? I really want to understand this, because these mopey girls really bring down the vibe.
I have a female friend who has claimed in the past to "love" certain musicians or bands, but then will say, "I wish I could see them live." My response is, "so...buy a ticket next time they come to town?" And that's just beyond her comprehension. This girl has a lot of money, travels all the time, and lives in a big city. She has no problem spending money on anything else really, but for some reason she doesn't seem to realize that you can just buy a ticket and go to a show. I don't know, it's extremely weird.
Because we are inherently stupid and easy to manipulate and we end up giving in to a woman's demands (no matter how petty it ends up being).
And we wanna get laid after the show.
the chicks ive dated have always enjoyed going to shows, whether they were pearl jam fans or not. I seriously doubt women say "ill go if you buy me this" or whatever, but who knows. Id never bring my gf to a show if she had absolutely zero interest in going. I think it just comes down to most couples do things together, whether its going out to eat or the movies or a concert.
[Because we are inherently stupid and easy to manipulate and we end up giving in to a woman's demands (no matter how petty it ends up being).
That's no good at all. Manipulation, guilt trips, all of it- I can't stand it. It's emotional abuse. If I were a guy, I would be able to take maybe 10 minutes of that and then I would be gone. Couples should try to indulge each other's interests, in my opinion. If you don't like your boyfriend's music, you should bloody well pretend you do- it's part of being in a relationship. Make the best of it or get out, you know?
I actually don't agree with that- I think you should just accept and tolerate your boyfriend's taste in music
and most women are crazy, they'd rather go to the show and be miserable then let the guy go with his friend and have a blast, its got nothing to do with the guy dragging the girl! shes dragging herself! and drags him and her and the entire vibe of the concert down!!!
Getting "permission" from a partner-- hugely annoying structure in a relationship. 'Tried that and don't recommend it. I mean, think about how ridiculous it is to have to justify, explain and ask for permission to do things? It's like being 6 years old again.
That is sooooo fucking true. You should NEVER have to ask permission. If you do, you're not with your soulmate. Gotta respect each other and your partner's passions and interests and then make sure you help them keep those passions and intersts. Remeber who you fell in love with in the first place, you know. You have the key to keep that fire burning within their soul.[/quote]
I couldn't agree more! My hubby and I are both of this understanding: he is allowed to go to as many Packers games as he wants without me saying a word and I get to see PJ as much as I want without him saying a word. He has converted me to becoming a Packer fan but I'm still working on making him a PJ fan...
WI '98, WI '99 (EV), WI '00, Chgo '00, MO '00, Champaign '03, Chgo '03, WI '03, IN '03, MI '04, Chgo '06:N1 & 2, WI '06, Chgo '07, Chgo '08 (EV:N1), Chgo '09:N1 & 2, Chgo '11 (EV:N1), WI '11:N1 & 2, Philly '12, Wrigley '13, Pitt '13, Buff '13, Detroit '14, MKE '14, Wrigley '16: N1 & N2, Seattle '18 N2, Wrigley '18: N1 & N2, Fenway '18 N1, STL '22, St Paul '23 N2, Chgo '23: N1 & N2, Wrigley '24 N1 & 2
but the woman/girl isn't "demanding" to go to the show, she doesn't want to! So what I'm saying is, why is it so important to the guys to have her there that they'll drag her against her will or bribe her with presents?
Ah -- but it's quite the trip to drive to Chicago from here (11 hours or so) and to get permission from her to go to Chicago for the show, he had to take her to Chicago and buy her a $500 plastic bag -- otherwise no PJ show for him.
Ok, I just don't buy this story anymore, it's gone over the top .
This begs the question then, why are the guys going through all this to bring this girl to a show? Why don't they bring a friend who at least values a good rock show, or sell the ticket to another fan? Why are the guys so needy that they feel they have to bring their girlfriend along with them to everything and will go to lengths of bribery to do so? What is the benefit of that? Hell, going to a PJ show is expensive enough, I'd never buy a $500 piece of crap on top of it. Can some guy explain this to me? If your girlfriend is the type of person that demands a coach purse as retribution for getting to go to an awesome show, you know you're never going to "convert" her, so what is the point? I really want to understand this, because these mopey girls really bring down the vibe.
I have a female friend who has claimed in the past to "love" certain musicians or bands, but then will say, "I wish I could see them live." My response is, "so...buy a ticket next time they come to town?" And that's just beyond her comprehension. This girl has a lot of money, travels all the time, and lives in a big city. She has no problem spending money on anything else really, but for some reason she doesn't seem to realize that you can just buy a ticket and go to a show. I don't know, it's extremely weird.
Because we are inherently stupid and easy to manipulate and we end up giving in to a woman's demands (no matter how petty it ends up being).
And we wanna get laid after the show.
the chicks ive dated have always enjoyed going to shows, whether they were pearl jam fans or not. I seriously doubt women say "ill go if you buy me this" or whatever, but who knows. Id never bring my gf to a show if she had absolutely zero interest in going. I think it just comes down to most couples do things together, whether its going out to eat or the movies or a concert.
I don't see how dragging a girl to something she doesn't want to go to increases your chances of that...(unless you're traveling to the show, and then why doesn't she just go do something on her own while you're at the show?)
Never been into that "couples do stuff together" thing. Sure, I've gone to stuff that my boyfriend wanted to do and I really had no opinion either way on and vice versa, but I've never relied on a boyfriend to be a default companion for stuff...once when I had a boyfriend I bought a single ticket to something and the day of the show I was like "hey I'm going to this show tonight" and he was like, "who are you going with?" and I was like, "myself" and he was like, "I would have gone to that! I like that band!" Didn't even cross my mind. Guess I'm just used to independence!
and most women are crazy, they'd rather go to the show and be miserable then let the guy go with his friend and have a blast, its got nothing to do with the guy dragging the girl! shes dragging herself! and drags him and her and the entire vibe of the concert down!!!
ohhhh this should be good
I see that kind of thing all the time. It's just a form of manipulation and "hi, notice me being miserable" blah blah blah. It's obviously the wrong relationship when that's going on. So boring! Why not choose to have fun instead of always making yourself the center of attention?
but the woman/girl isn't "demanding" to go to the show, she doesn't want to! So what I'm saying is, why is it so important to the guys to have her there that they'll drag her against her will or bribe her with presents?
Ah -- but it's quite the trip to drive to Chicago from here (11 hours or so) and to get permission from her to go to Chicago for the show, he had to take her to Chicago and buy her a $500 plastic bag -- otherwise no PJ show for him.
Ok, I just don't buy this story anymore, it's gone over the top .
Sad, but true.
1/12/1879, 4/8/1156, 2/6/1977, who gives a shit, ...
Getting "permission" from a partner-- hugely annoying structure in a relationship. 'Tried that and don't recommend it. I mean, think about how ridiculous it is to have to justify, explain and ask for permission to do things? It's like being 6 years old again.
That is sooooo fucking true. You should NEVER have to ask permission. If you do, you're not with your soulmate. Gotta respect each other and your partner's passions and interests and then make sure you help them keep those passions and intersts. Remeber who you fell in love with in the first place, you know. You have the key to keep that fire burning within their soul.
To a point. Since we got married, I always ask my wife if I can go to see hockey games / concerts / whatever with the guys (she's gone to Audioslave/PJ with my friends on her own as well -- lol). It's a courtesy (since those events are always out of town). Throw 2 small kids (now yrs old) in the mix now and you are asking for permission to do anything. It's BS with the boyfriend/girlfriend thing but married with small kids = permission needed to galavant.
1/12/1879, 4/8/1156, 2/6/1977, who gives a shit, ...
Getting "permission" from a partner-- hugely annoying structure in a relationship. 'Tried that and don't recommend it. I mean, think about how ridiculous it is to have to justify, explain and ask for permission to do things? It's like being 6 years old again.
That is sooooo fucking true. You should NEVER have to ask permission. If you do, you're not with your soulmate. Gotta respect each other and your partner's passions and interests and then make sure you help them keep those passions and intersts. Remeber who you fell in love with in the first place, you know. You have the key to keep that fire burning within their soul.
To a point. Since we got married, I always ask my wife if I can go to see hockey games / concerts / whatever with the guys (she's gone to Audioslave/PJ with my friends on her own as well -- lol). It's a courtesy (since those events are always out of town). Throw 2 small kids (now yrs old) in the mix now and you are asking for permission to do anything. It's BS with the boyfriend/girlfriend thing but married with small kids = permission needed to galavant.
exactly.
it is not 'permission'...it is courtesy, and it is also is simply smart to do....especilly if you utilize joint funds for seperate excursions. my husband and i do a lot together, and a lot seperately.....whatever we enjoy. to me, it's a no brainer that of course i ask my husband if he minds if i go off for a concert, on a trip, buy whatever, etc....and vice versa. you're a couple! it's simply joint decision making about finances and time. and my husband is always free to go off with his friends to do things on his own, i am granted the same....and then we share the things we enjoy together. it really is quite simple.
yep, same here. i didn't really have to ask "permission" until the 2 kids arrived on the scene. it's not just me asking - she has to as well - and it's not permission really, it's that you have the responsibility of carrying your weight in the marriage - and just taking off to concerts on a whim without clearing it first is a nice freedom of youth, but it's not good for a healthy marriage, especially with kids involved.
Getting "permission" from a partner-- hugely annoying structure in a relationship. 'Tried that and don't recommend it. I mean, think about how ridiculous it is to have to justify, explain and ask for permission to do things? It's like being 6 years old again.
That is sooooo fucking true. You should NEVER have to ask permission. If you do, you're not with your soulmate. Gotta respect each other and your partner's passions and interests and then make sure you help them keep those passions and intersts. Remeber who you fell in love with in the first place, you know. You have the key to keep that fire burning within their soul.
To a point. Since we got married, I always ask my wife if I can go to see hockey games / concerts / whatever with the guys (she's gone to Audioslave/PJ with my friends on her own as well -- lol). It's a courtesy (since those events are always out of town). Throw 2 small kids (now yrs old) in the mix now and you are asking for permission to do anything. It's BS with the boyfriend/girlfriend thing but married with small kids = permission needed to galavant.
Ok...I am going to piss you off...
I have been married FOREVER and have a kid and am still married. I would NEVER expect my husband to ask out of courtesy. Yes, TELL me to make sure I am going to be home to take care of the dog, and if not, we need to draw straws on who gets to go, but if he "asked", I'd probably tell him to grow some balls. *hides*
He does what he wants, I do what I want, he buys what he wants, and so do I. We are still happy and have fun together after 20 years. It has worked fantastically for years. We don't own or control each other.
There is just a big difference in ASKING permission and saying "Hey babe, I am going to the hockey game tonight".
I damn sure don't want an asker...nor do I want to be expected to do the same.
I noticed this in Toronto too. I had never really considered it before because I usually go with my friend (male) who has a super low number. But this time I took a friend of mine and I think I saw maybe one other pair of women at the show.
It really is a sausage party at these things, haha.
I have been married FOREVER and have a kid and am still married. I would NEVER expect my husband to ask out of courtesy. Yes, TELL me to make sure I am going to be home to take care of the dog, and if not, we need to draw straws on who gets to go, but if he "asked", I'd probably tell him to grow some balls. *hides*
He does what he wants, I do what I want, he buys what he wants, and so do I. We are still happy and have fun together after 20 years. It has worked fantastically for years. We don't own or control each other.
There is just a big difference in ASKING permission and saying "Hey babe, I am going to the hockey game tonight".
I damn sure don't want an asker...nor do I want to be expected to do the same.
so you have an actual human child or just a dog? tell me you're not one of those people who thinks it's the same. also, do you both work full time jobs? it's nice to have an arrangement like that, but if it starts to be too one sided (ie, one person is always going out and having fun while the other is stuck home babysitting), it can be a problem. i see no problem with saying "since we don't have anything going on next Tuesday, I'm going to happy hour with work people - does that work for you?" 99% if the time, it's fine - but it's more respectful and courteous than just assuming that it's not burdening or inconveniencing the other person.
Comments
Well said sister. I can't convey how much I agree with you and how shocked I am that NONE of my other friends feel this way. I will choose EXPERIENCES over possesions everytime.
Those lyrics literally made me find "me" again. Saved my life. Well, that and "Present Tense".
It's more than that. Sometimes if women go alone drunk men bother them. Going with another woman protects them from that somewhat.
Or, large people do things like bring their buddies up from the back to take over a lone woman's seat. Being smaller is part of being a woman too, not just having different parts in our pants!
The safety issue is the only thing that would ever prevent me from doing something alone.
I go to the movies alone, I've gone to sit-down restaurants alone and I would definitely go to a concert alone. In fact, I would prefer it- there are plenty of cool people to dance with and you don't have to worry whether your non-fan friend is having fun. Not all "chicks" are needy and not all guys are independent. There are plenty of needy guys out there. Neediness is a people thing, not a girl thing. You've been exposed to the wrong kind of girls, my friend.
Sounds like we both know what can only save us...;) the music!
I went through 2 years of Hell before I hit my bottom. Right as I entered Hell (when a company acquired the one I was working for and required all remaining workers to work 50+ hrs/week), I had met Jeff Ament which had thrown me into rediscovering the band, and I found an outlet to keep myself alive for the moment. YIELD literally saved me. My husband was very supportive, and knew how sick I had become from losing myself and having simply no time to get better. Time sickness, I call it. When I was looking for a new job, flexibility and my values trumped pay and amenities. Pearl Jam continues to keep me going and always inspires me.
Like you and others, my friends don't understand it either. Give me some live music over any thing material any day. That's why I come here and to the shows hoping to connect to other awesome women. And the guys can be awesome too.
This begs the question then, why are the guys going through all this to bring this girl to a show? Why don't they bring a friend who at least values a good rock show, or sell the ticket to another fan? Why are the guys so needy that they feel they have to bring their girlfriend along with them to everything and will go to lengths of bribery to do so? What is the benefit of that? Hell, going to a PJ show is expensive enough, I'd never buy a $500 piece of crap on top of it. Can some guy explain this to me? If your girlfriend is the type of person that demands a coach purse as retribution for getting to go to an awesome show, you know you're never going to "convert" her, so what is the point? I really want to understand this, because these mopey girls really bring down the vibe.
I have a female friend who has claimed in the past to "love" certain musicians or bands, but then will say, "I wish I could see them live." My response is, "so...buy a ticket next time they come to town?" And that's just beyond her comprehension. This girl has a lot of money, travels all the time, and lives in a big city. She has no problem spending money on anything else really, but for some reason she doesn't seem to realize that you can just buy a ticket and go to a show. I don't know, it's extremely weird.
I do not deny that females at a PJ show are in the minority and of that minority theres an even smaller minority that are actually real fans but I think its silly to chalk it up to genes or other sterotypical insanity. Its like saying its a genetic predisposition for males to be neandrothals or like to beat up girls or rape or form the boy bands that have ruined music.
BTW, like the person that posted above, I wonder why anyone would drag ANYONE to a PJ show that didn't really want to go. Post that ticket on the Porch, man!
Oh, the power of a woman.
Guys just "think" differently.
but the woman/girl isn't "demanding" to go to the show, she doesn't want to! So what I'm saying is, why is it so important to the guys to have her there that they'll drag her against her will or bribe her with presents?
That's no good at all. Manipulation, guilt trips, all of it- I can't stand it. It's emotional abuse. If I were a guy, I would be able to take maybe 10 minutes of that and then I would be gone. Couples should try to indulge each other's interests, in my opinion. If you don't like your boyfriend's music, you should bloody well pretend you do- it's part of being in a relationship. Make the best of it or get out, you know?
Getting "permission" from a partner-- hugely annoying structure in a relationship. 'Tried that and don't recommend it. I mean, think about how ridiculous it is to have to justify, explain and ask for permission to do things? It's like being 6 years old again.
That is sooooo fucking true. You should NEVER have to ask permission. If you do, you're not with your soulmate. Gotta respect each other and your partner's passions and interests and then make sure you help them keep those passions and intersts. Remeber who you fell in love with in the first place, you know. You have the key to keep that fire burning within their soul.
And we wanna get laid after the show.
the chicks ive dated have always enjoyed going to shows, whether they were pearl jam fans or not. I seriously doubt women say "ill go if you buy me this" or whatever, but who knows. Id never bring my gf to a show if she had absolutely zero interest in going. I think it just comes down to most couples do things together, whether its going out to eat or the movies or a concert.
I actually don't agree with that- I think you should just accept and tolerate your boyfriend's taste in music
ohhhh this should be good
That is sooooo fucking true. You should NEVER have to ask permission. If you do, you're not with your soulmate. Gotta respect each other and your partner's passions and interests and then make sure you help them keep those passions and intersts. Remeber who you fell in love with in the first place, you know. You have the key to keep that fire burning within their soul.[/quote]
I couldn't agree more! My hubby and I are both of this understanding: he is allowed to go to as many Packers games as he wants without me saying a word and I get to see PJ as much as I want without him saying a word. He has converted me to becoming a Packer fan but I'm still working on making him a PJ fan...
Ok, I just don't buy this story anymore, it's gone over the top
I don't see how dragging a girl to something she doesn't want to go to increases your chances of that...(unless you're traveling to the show, and then why doesn't she just go do something on her own while you're at the show?)
Never been into that "couples do stuff together" thing. Sure, I've gone to stuff that my boyfriend wanted to do and I really had no opinion either way on and vice versa, but I've never relied on a boyfriend to be a default companion for stuff...once when I had a boyfriend I bought a single ticket to something and the day of the show I was like "hey I'm going to this show tonight" and he was like, "who are you going with?" and I was like, "myself" and he was like, "I would have gone to that! I like that band!" Didn't even cross my mind. Guess I'm just used to independence!
I see that kind of thing all the time. It's just a form of manipulation and "hi, notice me being miserable" blah blah blah. It's obviously the wrong relationship when that's going on. So boring! Why not choose to have fun instead of always making yourself the center of attention?
exactly.
it is not 'permission'...it is courtesy, and it is also is simply smart to do....especilly if you utilize joint funds for seperate excursions. my husband and i do a lot together, and a lot seperately.....whatever we enjoy. to me, it's a no brainer that of course i ask my husband if he minds if i go off for a concert, on a trip, buy whatever, etc....and vice versa. you're a couple! it's simply joint decision making about finances and time. and my husband is always free to go off with his friends to do things on his own, i am granted the same....and then we share the things we enjoy together. it really is quite simple.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
i love strong, independent women!!
Ok...I am going to piss you off...
I have been married FOREVER and have a kid and am still married. I would NEVER expect my husband to ask out of courtesy. Yes, TELL me to make sure I am going to be home to take care of the dog, and if not, we need to draw straws on who gets to go, but if he "asked", I'd probably tell him to grow some balls. *hides*
He does what he wants, I do what I want, he buys what he wants, and so do I. We are still happy and have fun together after 20 years. It has worked fantastically for years. We don't own or control each other.
There is just a big difference in ASKING permission and saying "Hey babe, I am going to the hockey game tonight".
I damn sure don't want an asker...nor do I want to be expected to do the same.
so you have an actual human child or just a dog? tell me you're not one of those people who thinks it's the same. also, do you both work full time jobs? it's nice to have an arrangement like that, but if it starts to be too one sided (ie, one person is always going out and having fun while the other is stuck home babysitting), it can be a problem. i see no problem with saying "since we don't have anything going on next Tuesday, I'm going to happy hour with work people - does that work for you?" 99% if the time, it's fine - but it's more respectful and courteous than just assuming that it's not burdening or inconveniencing the other person.