Tipping Culture Where You Live

mace1229 · November 2023

How often do people eat out? For us, it's less than once a month. it's just gotten too expensive, and I don't see how restaurants can stay active. But I see a lot that are always busy.
We have 2 young kids. Even ordering from the kid's menu, it's usually about $60 for the 4 of us to eat dinner at a basic restaurant. And that is intentionally ordering from one of the cheaper options and water. If my wife and I "splurge" and order something just an extra couple bucks more and a fountain drink, now we're looking at $75-80.
Once our kids are too old to eat off the kids menu, we'd be looking at almost $100 for a basic restaurant like Red Robin after tax and tip for a basic burger and soda for 4. Eating out has just gotten very expensive, I'd rather grill my own burgers at home for $5.

mcgruff10 · November 2023

We eat out maybe two times a month. My wife and three of our kids went out to dinner last night for basic pub grub. No adult beverages and with tip it was $130.

JeBurkhardt · November 2023

mace1229 said:

How often do people eat out? For us, it's less than once a month. it's just gotten too expensive, and I don't see how restaurants can stay active. But I see a lot that are always busy.
We have 2 young kids. Even ordering from the kid's menu, it's usually about $60 for the 4 of us to eat dinner at a basic restaurant. And that is intentionally ordering from one of the cheaper options and water. If my wife and I "splurge" and order something just an extra couple bucks more and a fountain drink, now we're looking at $75-80.
Once our kids are too old to eat off the kids menu, we'd be looking at almost $100 for a basic restaurant like Red Robin after tax and tip for a basic burger and soda for 4. Eating out has just gotten very expensive, I'd rather grill my own burgers at home for $5.

Now that the 3 kids are out and on their own, my wife and I dine out a little more often. However at times we meet up with my daughter or son for dinner at a place with their spouses and 2 kids each and I remember why we didn't eat out too much when they were living with us.

Zod · November 2023

we're not big on dining out, but we usually do takeout at least once a month. I don't tip if we pick it up, but I do tip if it involves someone driving to my house.

The whole tipping thing makes me avoid businesses. If there's a business who's payment terminal doesn't ask for it, i'll frequent that business more now.

HughFreakingDillon · November 2023

static111 said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

mace1229 said:

lastexitlondon said:

What would happen if you didn't tip? Would you be frowned upon?
Seems like a lot of extra expenses on top of already expensive things.

more than frowned upon, a restaurant will almost see it as skipping out on part of the bill unless you justify it.
If I've had horrible service, I'll tip maybe $1 just to show I didn't forget to add it. That is rare, can only think of twice where that has happened.
One time I did actually just forget, and the manager followed me out into the parking lot to ask me why I didn't tip. I felt so bad, and stupid. But his demeanor was more irritated with me like I was skipping out, more than asking what was wrong with the service. He was sort of right, but it was an accident.

that is unbelievable to me. he followed you out of the restaurant to ask why you didn't tip? beyond fucking rude. a tip is optional, not an obligation.

why on earth would you have to justify it? that's absurd. the culture in the US is even more entitled than it is here. wow.

Servers can make as little as $2.00 an hour without tips. It's not entitlement, it's how they make their wage. It's been that way here forever. For some reason a long time ago it was decided that customers would subsidize the restaurant serving staff payroll and business would only be liable for the taxes. In certain places like Washington state or wherever if I know servers are making $9 an hour or more, I will tip less, but for the most part here in the US it is the price of eating at a sit down restaurant.

yeah, I get that now. I had no idea until this thread that your labour laws sucked so bad.

HughFreakingDillon · November 2023

Zod said:

we're not big on dining out, but we usually do takeout at least once a month. I don't tip if we pick it up, but I do tip if it involves someone driving to my house.

The whole tipping thing makes me avoid businesses. If there's a business who's payment terminal doesn't ask for it, i'll frequent that business more now.

I just realized this, and I don't really know why, but I tend to tip even if it's pickup, but ONLY if it's a local/non-chain establishment. why? no idea.

mace1229 · November 2023

I'll tip about 10% if I'm picking up. Honestly, I don't like doing it, but I know it's expected, so I do. If you want to charge more for your food then charge more, don't rely on tipping.

Gern Blansten · November 2023

Yeah I do 10% for pickup/carryout orders. We eat out more than we should. Mostly because neither one of us wants to go to the grocery store. The last thing either of us wants to do is cook when we get home. We tend to eat simple stuff during the week and then go out Fri/Sat to eat.

F Me In The Brain · November 2023

Eat at restaurant or through delivery multiple times a week. Pre-covid it was probably double that. For work, some weeks would see me eat at a restaurant every day, some days multiple times.

cutz · November 2023

Zod said:

we're not big on dining out, but we usually do takeout at least once a month. I don't tip if we pick it up, but I do tip if it involves someone driving to my house.

The whole tipping thing makes me avoid businesses. If there's a business who's payment terminal doesn't ask for it, i'll frequent that business more now.

I use to never Tip when doing pick-up. But , when the Pandemic was going on I would Tip some and quite a bit when I did curb-side pick-up.

Yeah, I don't like how some places have that Tip option when paying by Card when you're only doing take out.

I don't like how some places have that Tip Jar out on the Counter. Is it me or does it feel like they're pressuring us to Tip on Take Out food we're picking up?

cutz · November 2023

I eat out once a week and I tip about 25%-30% as I go to the same place and the same Server waits on us and has for a few years now. This place is where each Server keeps their own Tip but has to give a certain percentage to The Bus person.

PJ_Soul · November 2023

I feel absolutely no obligation to tip anyone besides who we've always tipped, like servers and bartenders, delivery drivers, and cab/uber drivers. And of course my hair stylist. I don't even think twice about all those other requests for tips, like for cashiers etc etc. They can ask all they want - why not? It's their right. But that doesn't mean anyone should feel like they ought to be doing it.

There is always an "other" option on those credit card machines, so I don't care about the 3 options starting at 15% either... Not that I would ever tip less than that if the service is decent.

static111 · November 2023

HughFreakingDillon said:

static111 said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

mace1229 said:

lastexitlondon said:

What would happen if you didn't tip? Would you be frowned upon?
Seems like a lot of extra expenses on top of already expensive things.

more than frowned upon, a restaurant will almost see it as skipping out on part of the bill unless you justify it.
If I've had horrible service, I'll tip maybe $1 just to show I didn't forget to add it. That is rare, can only think of twice where that has happened.
One time I did actually just forget, and the manager followed me out into the parking lot to ask me why I didn't tip. I felt so bad, and stupid. But his demeanor was more irritated with me like I was skipping out, more than asking what was wrong with the service. He was sort of right, but it was an accident.

that is unbelievable to me. he followed you out of the restaurant to ask why you didn't tip? beyond fucking rude. a tip is optional, not an obligation.

why on earth would you have to justify it? that's absurd. the culture in the US is even more entitled than it is here. wow.

Servers can make as little as $2.00 an hour without tips. It's not entitlement, it's how they make their wage. It's been that way here forever. For some reason a long time ago it was decided that customers would subsidize the restaurant serving staff payroll and business would only be liable for the taxes. In certain places like Washington state or wherever if I know servers are making $9 an hour or more, I will tip less, but for the most part here in the US it is the price of eating at a sit down restaurant.

yeah, I get that now. I had no idea until this thread that your labour laws sucked so bad.

It's the price of free market capitalism

Zod · November 2023

cutz said:

Zod said:

we're not big on dining out, but we usually do takeout at least once a month. I don't tip if we pick it up, but I do tip if it involves someone driving to my house.

The whole tipping thing makes me avoid businesses. If there's a business who's payment terminal doesn't ask for it, i'll frequent that business more now.

I use to never Tip when doing pick-up. But , when the Pandemic was going on I would Tip some and quite a bit when I did curb-side pick-up.

Yeah, I don't like how some places have that Tip option when paying by Card when you're only doing take out.

I don't like how some places have that Tip Jar out on the Counter. Is it me or does it feel like they're pressuring us to Tip on Take Out food we're picking up?

I feel like tip jars/boxes were less intrusive than building it into the payment terminals. It makes you feel like the employee is looking at you to make a tip, and it makes you fell guilty if you press no, but in reality who knows.

I know it's so overrun here, even Subway added it to their terminals. It kind of hitting a breaking point with me where I just tip for the stuff I've always tipped for. Restaurants and delivery. I don't feel it's right that culture is moving towards tipping everything.. I just want to pay the f'ing price of the thing. If it's not enough to pay a decent wage to the employee, just charge more.

It's also weird the amounts keep creeping up. It used to be 15% for good service, less for crappy service, and a penny for shitty service. Maybe 20% for those times the server was insanely good. No machines start at 18 or 20%. The problem being prices already inflated the last few years, so tips being a percentage of the bill, already inflated with the prices, so why is there percentage creep?

And it doesn't even go to the server anymore. It goes into a pool and subsidizes the entire staff of the restaurant... shrug.

I guess I'm turning into old man yelling at cloud

lastexitlondon · November 2023

Stop tipping . I don't think anyone has spare money.

mace1229 · November 2023

PJ_Soul said:

I feel absolutely no obligation to tip anyone besides who we've always tipped, like servers and bartenders, delivery drivers, and cab/uber drivers. And of course my hair stylist. I don't even think twice about all those other requests for tips, like for cashiers etc etc. They can ask all they want - why not? It's their right. But that doesn't mean anyone should feel like they ought to be doing it.
There is always an "other" option on those credit card machines, so I don't care about the 3 options starting at 15% either... Not that I would ever tip less than that if the service is decent.

I rarely do tip outside the areas you mentioned. But it does make me uncomfortable when I get a self serve something, and they say "the card reader will ask you a few questions" then face it towards me, and look right at me as I select "no tip." That would be like if you paid cash then they wave a tip jar in your face as they handed you your change and said "would you like to tip us with any off that change?"
I read an article a couple months ago that addressed this, and said that these workers feel uncomfortable too, because it's just the default of the POS they use. I don't know if I believe that, there's got to be a way to bypass it if you wanted to just have a tip jar on the side. How would they make a program like that where you couldn't customize anything? I 100% believe its on purpose to make more.

Gern Blansten · November 2023

mace1229 said:

PJ_Soul said:

I feel absolutely no obligation to tip anyone besides who we've always tipped, like servers and bartenders, delivery drivers, and cab/uber drivers. And of course my hair stylist. I don't even think twice about all those other requests for tips, like for cashiers etc etc. They can ask all they want - why not? It's their right. But that doesn't mean anyone should feel like they ought to be doing it.
There is always an "other" option on those credit card machines, so I don't care about the 3 options starting at 15% either... Not that I would ever tip less than that if the service is decent.

I rarely do tip outside the areas you mentioned. But it does make me uncomfortable when I get a self serve something, and they say "the card reader will ask you a few questions" then face it towards me, and look right at me as I select "no tip." That would be like if you paid cash then they wave a tip jar in your face as they handed you your change and said "would you like to tip us with any off that change?"
I read an article a couple months ago that addressed this, and said that these workers feel uncomfortable too, because it's just the default of the POS they use. I don't know if I believe that, there's got to be a way to bypass it if you wanted to just have a tip jar on the side. How would they make a program like that where you couldn't customize anything? I 100% believe its on purpose to make more.

It's definitely more efficient for the server. They don't have to bring you the bill, take your card and go back to the terminal, then return to the table with a paper receipt, then process the receipt. It's all done in a few seconds.

But yeah....I don't like it. I generally don't blame the server for much as bad service is generally a factor of the place being understaffed or poorly managed.

There was a big controversy in my town on facebook related to a local Subway shop that supposedly does not allocate credit card tips. An ex-employee was saying that they get to split cash tips but charged tips are just kept by the shop. That's jacked up.

I assume the owner thinks that he is paying everyone well enough and that it just helps him do that....but I've never tipped at McD's or any other fast food joint. Not sure why a Subway employee should get a tip really.

F Me In The Brain · November 2023

mace1229 said:

PJ_Soul said:

I feel absolutely no obligation to tip anyone besides who we've always tipped, like servers and bartenders, delivery drivers, and cab/uber drivers. And of course my hair stylist. I don't even think twice about all those other requests for tips, like for cashiers etc etc. They can ask all they want - why not? It's their right. But that doesn't mean anyone should feel like they ought to be doing it.
There is always an "other" option on those credit card machines, so I don't care about the 3 options starting at 15% either... Not that I would ever tip less than that if the service is decent.

I rarely do tip outside the areas you mentioned. But it does make me uncomfortable when I get a self serve something, and they say "the card reader will ask you a few questions" then face it towards me, and look right at me as I select "no tip." That would be like if you paid cash then they wave a tip jar in your face as they handed you your change and said "would you like to tip us with any off that change?"
I read an article a couple months ago that addressed this, and said that these workers feel uncomfortable too, because it's just the default of the POS they use. I don't know if I believe that, there's got to be a way to bypass it if you wanted to just have a tip jar on the side. How would they make a program like that where you couldn't customize anything? I 100% believe its on purpose to make more.

There is for sure no way for a person working the register to bypass the point of sale card reader settings. (I worked for almost 20 years running a business where we supported national retail technology deployments, including pin pad/ card reader configurations)

F Me In The Brain · November 2023

Also, I know everyone is different but I'm very surprised to see how many people here feel pressured by the option to tip. As a few have pointed out, just bypass and don't tip or put Other and tip what you like. Wonder why this makes people uptight, anxious, or in some way to feel badly.
I don't give a fuck one way or the other. If I want to tip, I do. If I don't, I don't.

I don't think this option is going away so I hope that folks can get comfortable with saying no if that is what they want, and not feeling like they need to take out their feelings on folks who depend on tips in more traditional settings due to the new tech options in untraditional tipping settings.

Gern Blansten · November 2023

F Me In The Brain said:

Also, I know everyone is different but I'm very surprised to see how many people here feel pressured by the option to tip. As a few have pointed out, just bypass and don't tip or put Other and tip what you like. Wonder why this makes people uptight, anxious, or in some way to feel badly.
I don't give a fuck one way or the other. If I want to tip, I do. If I don't, I don't.

I don't think this option is going away so I hope that folks can get comfortable with saying no if that is what they want, and not feeling like they need to take out their feelings on folks who depend on tips in more traditional settings due to the new tech options in untraditional tipping settings.

I wish we all had your confidence. My pants get so piss soaked whenever I'm confronted with a tip screen.

Tipping Culture Where You Live

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