Tipping Culture Where You Live

HughFreakingDillon

This has been a hot topic amongst my crowd as of late. During covid, the tipping options on credit card payments at establishments jumped from 15% as minimum default to 18% and sometimes even 20%. I have always fancied myself a decent tipper. Rule of thumb for service, not exceptional service, just service, was double the sales tax (13%). Higher end places, ironically, I usually tip a higher percentage. Usually 15%. Where I draw the line is cashiers. You are standing in one spot doing virtually nothing. I just don't do it. 

And I hate these skip the dishes/door dashes that ask for a tip before you get your delivery. Why would I tip not knowing how the service is going to be? I've tipped and gotten absolutely terrible service. At least Uber lets you add the tip after your ride is over. 

This came to mind as I saw a post by a guy on twitter linking to a story that Door Dashers will stop accepting jobs if you haven't tipped. The guy complained about the "cheap asses not willing to tip people who don't get a living wage". I'm all for tipping, but I don't think it's right that the general public subsidizes wages that the employers should be paying. 

mace1229

I've been hearing 20% as the standard for a long time now. When they present you with options, the lowest I usually see is 18%, and goes up to 30 or more.
What really annoys me is it's the same when it's a fast casual, stand in line and place your order then go pick up your own food. They prompt a minimum of 18% usually too.
And its always after tax, so the minimum of 18, is actually about 20.

tempo_n_groove

I tip 20% at a restaurant.  Everything else is just a few bucks.  Taxi and uber?  $5.

F Me In The Brain

I tip generously, these people are doing jobs providing service and have to deal with the general public, all day long.  As evidenced by....well, everything,  the general public is at least 50% total asshole.  Having to deal with those people,  if someone provides at least standard level service, I am happy to tip 20%.  Covid and lock downs made people even worse when it comes to public behavior.

Give more than 20% on the regular.  Mrs FMe has a number of dietary restrictions and it can be difficult to communicate properly with the kitchen to make sure she gets what she can safely eat.  I will give 25-30-35% depending on the total bill.

For delivery I can always complain after if they are shit.

I do agree that making things digital changed the way people in transactional arrangements now ask for tips,where we were not generally giving them previously.  I have no problem tipping them, if they provided good service.  If they provide shit service, I don't give them anything.

Don't think the expectation where I live is different than most places in the US....but don't really care what others do in this regard.  As I started with, I feel badly for people who need to work in service of the public 

MayDay10

I have always been a good tipper I think.  Especially after covid, trying to make up for lost time.  

Mainly dining at a restaurant and haircuts.  I will tip a few dollars reluctantly for carry out.  Oh yeah.  Uber I hook the guys up too as I have never had a bad experience.


What gets me now is tipping at point of sale for various things.  At a hockey game, I buy a can of beer and grab a bag of peanuts (like a $20 transaction).  Then the cashier says "the machine is going to ask you a question"... it is how much I am going to tip.  Its like 15, 20, 25% and 0.  And Custom.  15% of a $20 transaction is $3.  For grabbing and opening a can of beer for me.  Get the fuck out of here.  Im noticing these things at a point of sales system more and more... and I am getting irritated and it is going to cause me to stop tipping for everybody soon.

lastexitlondon

We don't tip at all here . 

Bentleyspop

Where I live most tip 20%ish
In general I'm a good tipper 20% usually.
However, because I'm  a big fish in a small pond (local liquor retail) I'm a known quantity at a lot of restaurants and bars and get treated as such with discounts and freebies so I'm careful to tip well above the standard and usually in cash.
But when I get bad service/food I do lower the % depending on what the cause is.

HughFreakingDillon

I also find it odd that I'm asked to tip at my the spa where I'll get a massage. But WTF, I'm paying $130 for a 50 minute massage. Why the fuck should I tip a professional? I don't tip my physiotherapist. And my usual non-spa massage therapist doesn't ask for tips. But they both took the same education for what they are doing. 

HughFreakingDillon

the other thing that always kind of irked me, having worked in the kitchen. Kitchen staff get tipped out, maximum at 5% of the wait staff's tips. And where I worked, it was on the honour system. You know fucking well they weren't disclosing how much they made that shift. And if her service was trash, but the food was good, she's still getting a tip, all because of me. On the flip side, if the food was trash, but she gave great service, that should also be recognized.

Restaurant electronic payment devices should have a split option:

50/50 kitchen/server
100/0 kitchen/server and vice versa
custom

HughFreakingDillon

F Me In The Brain said:

I tip generously, these people are doing jobs providing service and have to deal with the general public, all day long.  As evidenced by....well, everything,  the general public is at least 50% total asshole.  Having to deal with those people,  if someone provides at least standard level service, I am happy to tip 20%.  Covid and lock downs made people even worse when it comes to public behavior.

Give more than 20% on the regular.  Mrs FMe has a number of dietary restrictions and it can be difficult to communicate properly with the kitchen to make sure she gets what she can safely eat.  I will give 25-30-35% depending on the total bill.

For delivery I can always complain after if they are shit.

I do agree that making things digital changed the way people in transactional arrangements now ask for tips,where we were not generally giving them previously.  I have no problem tipping them, if they provided good service.  If they provide shit service, I don't give them anything.

Don't think the expectation where I live is different than most places in the US....but don't really care what others do in this regard.  As I started with, I feel badly for people who need to work in service of the public 

you're telling me you're potentially tipping $70 on a $200 bill? that's insane to me. honestly, yes, they get shit wages. But you know how much wait staff make these days, and only disclose 0%-10% of their tips on tax forms? many of them only have to work part time to have a semi-comfortable living, and that's on 15% tips average. 

with the prices of everything skyrocketing, the consumer shouldn't be footing this whole bill. Paying $15 for a fucking crappy ass beer at a football game and I'm expected to top that up another $3 or so? especially when I had to come to you to get it? sorry. no. 

F Me In The Brain

HughFreakingDillon said:

F Me In The Brain said:

I tip generously, these people are doing jobs providing service and have to deal with the general public, all day long.  As evidenced by....well, everything,  the general public is at least 50% total asshole.  Having to deal with those people,  if someone provides at least standard level service, I am happy to tip 20%.  Covid and lock downs made people even worse when it comes to public behavior.

Give more than 20% on the regular.  Mrs FMe has a number of dietary restrictions and it can be difficult to communicate properly with the kitchen to make sure she gets what she can safely eat.  I will give 25-30-35% depending on the total bill.

For delivery I can always complain after if they are shit.

I do agree that making things digital changed the way people in transactional arrangements now ask for tips,where we were not generally giving them previously.  I have no problem tipping them, if they provided good service.  If they provide shit service, I don't give them anything.

Don't think the expectation where I live is different than most places in the US....but don't really care what others do in this regard.  As I started with, I feel badly for people who need to work in service of the public 

you're telling me you're potentially tipping $70 on a $200 bill? that's insane to me. honestly, yes, they get shit wages. But you know how much wait staff make these days, and only disclose 0%-10% of their tips on tax forms? many of them only have to work part time to have a semi-comfortable living, and that's on 15% tips average. 

with the prices of everything skyrocketing, the consumer shouldn't be footing this whole bill. Paying $15 for a fucking crappy ass beer at a football game and I'm expected to top that up another $3 or so? especially when I had to come to you to get it? sorry. no. 

For sure.  I explained why I do it.  Have no problem doing so.  Happy to support those who have to deal with the asshole public and their garbage attitude.  
Even when I think it is silly (when we have $200 in drinks on the tab) I still tip generously.  

I don't think people should feel badly about tipping how they want to.  Own it.  Don't only tip because you will feel badly or worry about other's perceptions.  
But,to each their own.

mace1229

HughFreakingDillon said:

I also find it odd that I'm asked to tip at my the spa where I'll get a massage. But WTF, I'm paying $130 for a 50 minute massage. Why the fuck should I tip a professional? I don't tip my physiotherapist. And my usual non-spa massage therapist doesn't ask for tips. But they both took the same education for what they are doing. 

Clarify my first comment, I am happy to tip 20% on a full service restaurant if the service is average. I just find it annoying that that is the minimum amount presented, and goes up to 30 or 35% If you're going to give me options, start at 10 or 15%. We've all had food served cold, wrong orders served, food over/under cooked. I might tip 15% in those cases. And if its fast casual, where I stand in line to order and pick up my own food, don't expect the same tip a full service restaurant does and present me with the same 20-35% options. 

I find it odd what we do and don't tip. Like you said, you're expected to tip a massage, or hair cut, or any other number of things. But you don't tip your doctor for saving your life, your chiropractor for straightening out your back, your mail man for bringing mail in the snow, the pilot for making a smooth landing, or any other number of people who work as hard or harder and are honestly more important in some ways. I can't figure out the formula that decides who we do and don't tip.

HughFreakingDillon

F Me In The Brain said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

F Me In The Brain said:

I tip generously, these people are doing jobs providing service and have to deal with the general public, all day long.  As evidenced by....well, everything,  the general public is at least 50% total asshole.  Having to deal with those people,  if someone provides at least standard level service, I am happy to tip 20%.  Covid and lock downs made people even worse when it comes to public behavior.

Give more than 20% on the regular.  Mrs FMe has a number of dietary restrictions and it can be difficult to communicate properly with the kitchen to make sure she gets what she can safely eat.  I will give 25-30-35% depending on the total bill.

For delivery I can always complain after if they are shit.

I do agree that making things digital changed the way people in transactional arrangements now ask for tips,where we were not generally giving them previously.  I have no problem tipping them, if they provided good service.  If they provide shit service, I don't give them anything.

Don't think the expectation where I live is different than most places in the US....but don't really care what others do in this regard.  As I started with, I feel badly for people who need to work in service of the public 

you're telling me you're potentially tipping $70 on a $200 bill? that's insane to me. honestly, yes, they get shit wages. But you know how much wait staff make these days, and only disclose 0%-10% of their tips on tax forms? many of them only have to work part time to have a semi-comfortable living, and that's on 15% tips average. 

with the prices of everything skyrocketing, the consumer shouldn't be footing this whole bill. Paying $15 for a fucking crappy ass beer at a football game and I'm expected to top that up another $3 or so? especially when I had to come to you to get it? sorry. no. 

For sure.  I explained why I do it.  Have no problem doing so.  Happy to support those who have to deal with the asshole public and their garbage attitude.  
Even when I think it is silly (when we have $200 in drinks on the tab) I still tip generously.  

I don't think people should feel badly about tipping how they want to.  Own it.  Don't only tip because you will feel badly or worry about other's perceptions.  
But,to each their own.

I don't know why you consider 50% of humans to be assholes? I've worked in hospitality. I'd put that number closer to 10%. 

I get tipping higher because of having to get the staff to go out of their way. I remember having this conversation with an old friend of mine who has more money than he knows what to do with. he's a dentist in a small town. We almost came to blows at the head table of our buddy's wedding reception as he told me he never tips as "it's not his fault that they chose that shit job". LOL

Gern Blansten

HughFreakingDillon said:

the other thing that always kind of irked me, having worked in the kitchen. Kitchen staff get tipped out, maximum at 5% of the wait staff's tips. And where I worked, it was on the honour system. You know fucking well they weren't disclosing how much they made that shift. And if her service was trash, but the food was good, she's still getting a tip, all because of me. On the flip side, if the food was trash, but she gave great service, that should also be recognized.

Restaurant electronic payment devices should have a split option:

50/50 kitchen/server
100/0 kitchen/server and vice versa
custom

But the kitchen people get at least minimum wage right? Waitresses (at least in the US) generally get paid like $2.70/hour so it makes sense to me to send a small amount to the kitchen.

I generally tip 20% in restaurants although I've recently learned that it should be 20% of the pretax amount...I generally just do 20% after sales tax so I guess I overtip a bit.

10% for carryout orders like Chinese food or pizza, etc., since they have to go through the effort of boxing it up.

I usually tip $1/drink at hockey games for a beer/drink. 

HughFreakingDillon

mace1229 said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

I also find it odd that I'm asked to tip at my the spa where I'll get a massage. But WTF, I'm paying $130 for a 50 minute massage. Why the fuck should I tip a professional? I don't tip my physiotherapist. And my usual non-spa massage therapist doesn't ask for tips. But they both took the same education for what they are doing. 

Clarify my first comment, I am happy to tip 20% on a full service restaurant if the service is average. I just find it annoying that that is the minimum amount presented, and goes up to 30 or 35% If you're going to give me options, start at 10 or 15%. We've all had food served cold, wrong orders served, food over/under cooked. I might tip 15% in those cases. And if its fast casual, where I stand in line to order and pick up my own food, don't expect the same tip a full service restaurant does and present me with the same 20-35% options. 

I find it odd what we do and don't tip. Like you said, you're expected to tip a massage, or hair cut, or any other number of things. But you don't tip your doctor for saving your life, your chiropractor for straightening out your back, your mail man for bringing mail in the snow, the pilot for making a smooth landing, or any other number of people who work as hard or harder and are honestly more important in some ways. I can't figure out the formula that decides who we do and don't tip.

for sure. I mean, what about the person at the ticket counter when boarding an airline? they're doing the same job as the cashier. And they make garbage money. you're right, it's weird and seemingly arbitrary now. 

Gern Blansten

I do usually tip $4-$5 on door dash as my kids used to dash so I know that when a request pops up with a tip like that they will jump on it and do a good job. Door dash is a fucking ripoff though. Christ it's expensive. Convenient sometimes but not worth it at all.

mace1229

Gern Blansten said:

I do usually tip $4-$5 on door dash as my kids used to dash so I know that when a request pops up with a tip like that they will jump on it and do a good job. Door dash is a fucking ripoff though. Christ it's expensive. Convenient sometimes but not worth it at all.

Only time I've ever done door dash was when we all had covid. Not worth the price otherwise. 

Gern Blansten

mace1229 said:

Gern Blansten said:

I do usually tip $4-$5 on door dash as my kids used to dash so I know that when a request pops up with a tip like that they will jump on it and do a good job. Door dash is a fucking ripoff though. Christ it's expensive. Convenient sometimes but not worth it at all.

Only time I've ever done door dash was when we all had covid. Not worth the price otherwise. 

For me it's worth it if I'm at work and want Chik-fil-A....only because it's a hassle to get there and a hassle to wait. Otherwise it's a complete ripoff. I try to encourage my kids to avoid it.

F Me In The Brain

HughFreakingDillon said:

F Me In The Brain said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

F Me In The Brain said:

I tip generously, these people are doing jobs providing service and have to deal with the general public, all day long.  As evidenced by....well, everything,  the general public is at least 50% total asshole.  Having to deal with those people,  if someone provides at least standard level service, I am happy to tip 20%.  Covid and lock downs made people even worse when it comes to public behavior.

Give more than 20% on the regular.  Mrs FMe has a number of dietary restrictions and it can be difficult to communicate properly with the kitchen to make sure she gets what she can safely eat.  I will give 25-30-35% depending on the total bill.

For delivery I can always complain after if they are shit.

I do agree that making things digital changed the way people in transactional arrangements now ask for tips,where we were not generally giving them previously.  I have no problem tipping them, if they provided good service.  If they provide shit service, I don't give them anything.

Don't think the expectation where I live is different than most places in the US....but don't really care what others do in this regard.  As I started with, I feel badly for people who need to work in service of the public 

you're telling me you're potentially tipping $70 on a $200 bill? that's insane to me. honestly, yes, they get shit wages. But you know how much wait staff make these days, and only disclose 0%-10% of their tips on tax forms? many of them only have to work part time to have a semi-comfortable living, and that's on 15% tips average. 

with the prices of everything skyrocketing, the consumer shouldn't be footing this whole bill. Paying $15 for a fucking crappy ass beer at a football game and I'm expected to top that up another $3 or so? especially when I had to come to you to get it? sorry. no. 

For sure.  I explained why I do it.  Have no problem doing so.  Happy to support those who have to deal with the asshole public and their garbage attitude.  
Even when I think it is silly (when we have $200 in drinks on the tab) I still tip generously.  

I don't think people should feel badly about tipping how they want to.  Own it.  Don't only tip because you will feel badly or worry about other's perceptions.  
But,to each their own.

I don't know why you consider 50% of humans to be assholes? I've worked in hospitality. I'd put that number closer to 10%. 

I get tipping higher because of having to get the staff to go out of their way. I remember having this conversation with an old friend of mine who has more money than he knows what to do with. he's a dentist in a small town. We almost came to blows at the head table of our buddy's wedding reception as he told me he never tips as "it's not his fault that they chose that shit job". LOL

Subjective as there is not sort of true gauge on this....and I base it on my own personal observations as I move around the US.  
Maybe in Canada it is 10%.

HughFreakingDillon

Gern Blansten said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

the other thing that always kind of irked me, having worked in the kitchen. Kitchen staff get tipped out, maximum at 5% of the wait staff's tips. And where I worked, it was on the honour system. You know fucking well they weren't disclosing how much they made that shift. And if her service was trash, but the food was good, she's still getting a tip, all because of me. On the flip side, if the food was trash, but she gave great service, that should also be recognized.

Restaurant electronic payment devices should have a split option:

50/50 kitchen/server
100/0 kitchen/server and vice versa
custom

But the kitchen people get at least minimum wage right? Waitresses (at least in the US) generally get paid like $2.70/hour so it makes sense to me to send a small amount to the kitchen.

I generally tip 20% in restaurants although I've recently learned that it should be 20% of the pretax amount...I generally just do 20% after sales tax so I guess I overtip a bit.

10% for carryout orders like Chinese food or pizza, etc., since they have to go through the effort of boxing it up.

I usually tip $1/drink at hockey games for a beer/drink. 

how does a wait staff get paid LESS THAN MINIMUM? don't you have labour laws? when I worked in the kitchen, kitchen staff got paid about the same as wait staff. maybe a bit more (like 20 cents an hour) if they'd been there a while. minimum wage here is like $15 something an hour. $2.70 per hour? wtf is this china?

Merkin Baller

I usually tip 20% as a base for any bartenders / wait staff. More if they're great. 

I might tip a buck or two per round to a bartender at a concert or game, but not 20%.

People just running cash registers? Screw that. Sorry, but if you're working at  brewery and ring me up for one or two 4-packs, there's no way I'm tipping on that. 

HughFreakingDillon

lastexitlondon said:

We don't tip at all here . 

this is what I find interesting. I've read that tipping in some places is not only not done, it's sometimes considered an insult. I think tipping is more of a north american thing. 

Merkin Baller

HughFreakingDillon said:

lastexitlondon said:

We don't tip at all here . 

this is what I find interesting. I've read that tipping in some places is not only not done, it's sometimes considered an insult. I think tipping is more of a north american thing. 

Yeah, in Ireland, I always forget and throw down extra for the bartender (usually cause I'm in the whiskey and forget where I am). 

It's frowned upon by other patrons, but the staff sure as hell doesn't mind. 

HughFreakingDillon

Merkin Baller said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

lastexitlondon said:

We don't tip at all here . 

this is what I find interesting. I've read that tipping in some places is not only not done, it's sometimes considered an insult. I think tipping is more of a north american thing. 

Yeah, in Ireland, I always forget and throw down extra for the bartender (usually cause I'm in the whiskey and forget where I am). 

It's frowned upon by other patrons, but the staff sure as hell doesn't mind. 

oh, ok, when I heard it was frowned upon, I thought it was the staff they were referring to (like treating them lower than you)

JojoRice

I always tip 20% unless the service is just God awful but that is super rare. For take out orders, like Chili's to go for example, I'll do 10%.  I've never done Doordash.  No desire in paying double or triple for something that I can go get myself.  When it comes to pizzas, I always do carry out.  Never do delivery. 

Side note....I was at Walmart recently doing the self checkout and the machine asked if I wanted to leave a tip.  Since it was self check out and I was doing all the work, I asked a lady working nearby that if I left a tip, would I get it since I was the one doing all the work.  Lady that was working just looked at me without a response.  So I just walked away and didn't leave myself a tip. 

Merkin Baller

HughFreakingDillon said:

Merkin Baller said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

lastexitlondon said:

We don't tip at all here . 

this is what I find interesting. I've read that tipping in some places is not only not done, it's sometimes considered an insult. I think tipping is more of a north american thing. 

Yeah, in Ireland, I always forget and throw down extra for the bartender (usually cause I'm in the whiskey and forget where I am). 

It's frowned upon by other patrons, but the staff sure as hell doesn't mind. 

oh, ok, when I heard it was frowned upon, I thought it was the staff they were referring to (like treating them lower than you)

IDK, lastexitlondon can probably clarify... but I feel like for staff to get offended by that would be to ignore the culture we're coming from. We're not doing it to be arrogant or throw our money around, it's literally how society works where we're from. 

I feel weird NOT tipping a waiter or bartender, it's ingrained in us. 

Merkin Baller

I asked a bartender once in Ireland if it was rude, and he gave me a smile and said don't worry about it... he had ZERO problem getting a little extra. 

Gern Blansten

HughFreakingDillon said:

Gern Blansten said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

the other thing that always kind of irked me, having worked in the kitchen. Kitchen staff get tipped out, maximum at 5% of the wait staff's tips. And where I worked, it was on the honour system. You know fucking well they weren't disclosing how much they made that shift. And if her service was trash, but the food was good, she's still getting a tip, all because of me. On the flip side, if the food was trash, but she gave great service, that should also be recognized.

Restaurant electronic payment devices should have a split option:

50/50 kitchen/server
100/0 kitchen/server and vice versa
custom

But the kitchen people get at least minimum wage right? Waitresses (at least in the US) generally get paid like $2.70/hour so it makes sense to me to send a small amount to the kitchen.

I generally tip 20% in restaurants although I've recently learned that it should be 20% of the pretax amount...I generally just do 20% after sales tax so I guess I overtip a bit.

10% for carryout orders like Chinese food or pizza, etc., since they have to go through the effort of boxing it up.

I usually tip $1/drink at hockey games for a beer/drink. 

how does a wait staff get paid LESS THAN MINIMUM? don't you have labour laws? when I worked in the kitchen, kitchen staff got paid about the same as wait staff. maybe a bit more (like 20 cents an hour) if they'd been there a while. minimum wage here is like $15 something an hour. $2.70 per hour? wtf is this china?

Since it is customary to tip in full service restaurants that is our server rate. It's actually $2.13/hour in Indiana and several other states.

Indifference71

Merkin Baller said:

I usually tip 20% as a base for any bartenders / wait staff. More if they're great. 

I might tip a buck or two per round to a bartender at a concert or game, but not 20%.

People just running cash registers? Screw that. Sorry, but if you're working at  brewery and ring me up for one or two 4-packs, there's no way I'm tipping on that. 

Yeah this is about where I'm at.  Being asked for tips just about everywhere these days has gotten so out of hand.  I'm not tipping the guy who took 30 seconds to make my sandwich at Jimmy John's.

lastexitlondon

Merkin Baller said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

Merkin Baller said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

lastexitlondon said:

We don't tip at all here . 

this is what I find interesting. I've read that tipping in some places is not only not done, it's sometimes considered an insult. I think tipping is more of a north american thing. 

Yeah, in Ireland, I always forget and throw down extra for the bartender (usually cause I'm in the whiskey and forget where I am). 

It's frowned upon by other patrons, but the staff sure as hell doesn't mind. 

oh, ok, when I heard it was frowned upon, I thought it was the staff they were referring to (like treating them lower than you)

IDK, lastexitlondon can probably clarify... but I feel like for staff to get offended by that would be to ignore the culture we're coming from. We're not doing it to be arrogant or throw our money around, it's literally how society works where we're from. 

I feel weird NOT tipping a waiter or bartender, it's ingrained in us. 

Oh no I don't think anyone would think it rude but just not a thing that happens much maybe in a bar we might offer a drink for the person serving like have one on me kind of thing.

Merkin Baller

lastexitlondon said:

Merkin Baller said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

Merkin Baller said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

lastexitlondon said:

We don't tip at all here . 

this is what I find interesting. I've read that tipping in some places is not only not done, it's sometimes considered an insult. I think tipping is more of a north american thing. 

Yeah, in Ireland, I always forget and throw down extra for the bartender (usually cause I'm in the whiskey and forget where I am). 

It's frowned upon by other patrons, but the staff sure as hell doesn't mind. 

oh, ok, when I heard it was frowned upon, I thought it was the staff they were referring to (like treating them lower than you)

IDK, lastexitlondon can probably clarify... but I feel like for staff to get offended by that would be to ignore the culture we're coming from. We're not doing it to be arrogant or throw our money around, it's literally how society works where we're from. 

I feel weird NOT tipping a waiter or bartender, it's ingrained in us. 

Oh no I don't think anyone would think it rude but just not a thing that happens much maybe in a bar we might offer a drink for the person serving like have one on me kind of thing.

That sounds about right... I've been *scolded* by my cousins for tipping ("we don't do that here") but I always figured it was as much letting me in on the local custom as it was anything else.