A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

Holding you in my heart Rob.  I understand the anxiety that comes with easing the lockdown. Keep communicating the best that you can.  We’re here for you (((hugs))).

Is anyone anxious about what life will be like when things do reopen? I was already in a depression and isolating before any of this began and now I feel so lost and alone that I don’t know if I’ll ever bounce back. I feel so awkward around other people now, like I’ve forgotten how to even hold a conversation anymore. I wonder if that will get better or worse. I absolutely hate going anywhere, always unsure if I’m following all the rules and being considerate enough. At home I feel so out of touch with everyone and everything in the outside world. I want to reconnect with all that made me happy. I guess I just gotta keep hanging on and being grateful for all the little things. 

lastexitlondon said:

Thank  you all its my mums birthday  so we went to her garden but  i fuck things  up. My older 3 kids went and i feel like everyone is contaminated  and their breath  is green smoke.  These  are my family  yet i want to run away
 My baby cant not  go up to them  amd be so close all i do is say come back rosie. Dont do that rosie. Its  gonna fuck another  kid up. 
I kept busy  but i just wanted to run home. Im home now i feel sick. I think im addicted to the  weed now.  I dont want to do any smoke . Drink. Pills  . But i actually cannot.  Im ashamed. Its 6.44pm and im trying  to not smoke. Im laying  down now.  Im sorry to blabber on. 
Its  very kind of you all.

First, Rob-- we love you.  I hope that you know that.  

I get the feeling of wanting to run away from family.  We had family in, fresh from Florida (hotspot, in case you don't know) and off multiple planes and out of multiple airports wanting to hug me.  Oh, there will be none of that.  AIR HUG!    But, we were exiled to the front porch during the family dinner because we-- gasp-- wear masks.  If they won't respect my mother-in-law and her health issues, we will.  She's got enough going on in life without being exposed to a pandemic disease.

I think I recall Mickey talking to you about alcohol and people who don't drink going back to it temporarily . . .  and @mickeyrat , if you could take this part over.  I'm screwing it up.  But something about possibly determining whether true addiction or not?  Would it apply to marijuana use?  My point is that you didn't smoke it for so long and now you feel that you are potentially addicted.  Would Mickey's test (or AA if I do recall) tell you that perhaps that is something to steer clear of? No judgement here.  I'm all for legalization, but I did see what happened with my sister and her POS husband with excessive pot use.  It's a real thing, y'all.  I'm hoping that Mickey can figure out what I was talking about and reinterpret it the way he meant.  

I work out in the public, but an art gallery so it isn't like a big box store.  People seem to cross their eyes when you respect the 6' rule.  "Oh, don't worry about me," is what I hear.  "Oh, I'm a 6 feet girl.  Thanks for understanding my weirdness!"  People just don't care and it stresses us out.  Please don't move the things on the counter and hang around the plexiglass to my side.   

Rosie is being raised in the middle of a global pandemic.  I assure you that you aren't what will fuck up this child.  There are bigger, scarier things in life than your dad wanting to keep you safe.  You are doing a good job!  

And anxiety about reopening, vaccinations and :gulp: the kiddos going back to school? Oh, hell yes.  My daughter wants to go and her anxiety took her back to therapy during the lockdown.  (It's been a very good thing for her to return.)  Still, doing a career program requires attendance.  Thankful that the governor mandated K-12 wear masks.  He has been known to backpedal so there is always a possibility that it will be different tomorrow, but let's hope this sticks.  It was our biggest concern.  

If we could all just be on the same page and work together for the common good . . . the fact that we are being lead by a "president" I have zero faith in worries me to the core of my soul.  It's a hot mess out there and it's not going to be better any time soon.   

Sounds like you're really getting it from every angle at the moment man. Try to focus on improving just one aspect of what you listed. Can you control any of it?

A good thing for you today Rob, and I know it might not seem like it right now......you're here, and you're alive. The serenity prayer was invaluable to me in the early days of my recovery. 
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

I haven't really ventured into this thread much before, but I feel I need to say something. To someone.. I'm feeling like shit. Has so done since the end of last week.

I have promised the person this is involving to not talk about it, so I am sorry for being vague. A promise is a promise. Even when feeling like I've been worth nothing.

I found out late last week that I have this whole summer been betrayed by this person in a very serious way. I have never in my 36 year old life felt this degraded. This being caused by this person treating themselves like shit, and not caring one bit about treating me like in the process. 

To make it worse, last week when I was finally told about what has transpired it was not to ask forgiveness, or being sad for what they had done (to me, our relationship or themselves). Rather -- They have had every right to act like they had. I vaguely remember something being said about "I thought you would be okey with it, don't see why not" and  "I was first not going to tell you at all".

What the person has done to themselves is giving me such anxiety, that I can't even focus on me -- and all the steps and choices this person actively took to betray and hurt me. From knowing myself, every instinct in my body would normally tell one to fuck off. But maybe it is the surreal nature of it all, or how I happen to feel about this person and/or the serious situation they have put themselves in that I can't find the anger. I'm just exhausted and sad. Sad for how they chose to treat me, and the ignorance shown when telling me- regarding both me and our relationship. But mostly sad for what they have done to themselves.  It breaks my heart.

I haven't been able to sleep. At all. I feel nauseous. I cannot eat. I have thrown up. I can't get rid of the tears in my eyes so I'm working from home instead of the office. A friend said I should get some pills to get help sleeping. But I don't know. I feel like I have to help this person get out if this mess. I feel panic for their well-being. But with there being not much feelings of regret about what has taken/is taking place, and with my pleads to please reconsider this taken path seemingly falling on deaf ears - I feel helpless.

I don't know what to do. If I could be more specific everyone in here would have all agreed that I should just tell the person to fuck off for what they did. But yeah, I am not everyone looking at it from the outside. I just don't know what to do.