A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

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  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,915
    I wrote out a massive post i was happy with and its all just disappeared. Ffs


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,915
    I wont post too much about failing  because  each situation is unique and what each one of is deals with alone cant be quantified. 
    Ive reached out to charities . Nhs. Relatives amd recieved  lots of help over a period of a long time. And im never going to  get better  only can learn to cope in that day im in and over time i hope to find moments of peace. 
    Nobody seems to understand what im explaining as far as the  crippling brain i have. Good people  are here thats for sure.


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • what dreams
    what dreams Posts: 1,761
    lastexitlondon said:
    True its safe here nad I cant stop coming here . I feel i amfriends  with all of you through just a username but we are all the same kind of souls. 
    The truth is i have done a month sober from alcohol  but i wont maintain that very long.
    I tried smoking a few times and it took me away but the  negatives were quite a few also.
    I have totally noticed an uplifted tone in your writing in the month that you've stopped drinking. It may be hard to see or feel it from the inside right now, the change is noticeable on the outside. Dig deep. One breath at a time. 
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,540
    what dreams said:
    The Porch is giving me anxiety. 
    fuck that place. just on spec
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,540
    lastexitlondon said:
    I wrote out a massive post i was happy with and its all just disappeared. Ffs
    not in drafts?
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,915
    Thats kind . I haven't  felt that in myself but more a recognition  that this is it. Its all i have and thats what im dealing with.
    I guess in an ideal world nobody would drink or do any kind of any weed or whatever people self  soothe with. 
     I want to carry on viewing it the way i do now but i have a guilt inside me of someone who already  failed. Isnt that  odd.
    At the group i go to ,im the only one  sober. 
    And i feel i won't  go back after  today. They view me as inspiring which is far from the truth for if i was they would actually make an effort. They just say whatever  because that is easy when still drinking. 
    I know  none of it is helpful its just how long i can  sit with it . Im not nice to be around due to intense frustration  and getting  nowhere  but backwards with medical people. Anger is strong in me now. I can't  shift it with anything so im at a loss


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,915
    mickeyrat said:
    lastexitlondon said:
    I wrote out a massive post i was happy with and its all just disappeared. Ffs
    not in drafts?
    I pressed back instead of delete for a word and it went. Nevermind i can ramble for england!


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    lastexitlondon said:
    Thats kind . I haven't  felt that in myself but more a recognition  that this is it. Its all i have and thats what im dealing with.
    I guess in an ideal world nobody would drink or do any kind of any weed or whatever people self  soothe with. 
     I want to carry on viewing it the way i do now but i have a guilt inside me of someone who already  failed. Isnt that  odd.
    At the group i go to ,im the only one  sober. 
    And i feel i won't  go back after  today. They view me as inspiring which is far from the truth for if i was they would actually make an effort. They just say whatever  because that is easy when still drinking. 
    I know  none of it is helpful its just how long i can  sit with it . Im not nice to be around due to intense frustration  and getting  nowhere  but backwards with medical people. Anger is strong in me now. I can't  shift it with anything so im at a loss
    ***Damn quote thing is off again.

    Rob, release that anger when and where you can!  It's something all of us deal with, whether or not anxiety plays a part.  It becomes destructive when you hold it in.

    And I will echo what dreams, in that from this outsider's view, there is more openness in your words lately.  Not that there hasn't been, but it's different.  One month in - you may still be going through mental and/or physical withdrawal.

    That said, congratulations!
  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    And I should add that self-soothing doesn't necessarily have to be in the form of a "vice" - music, meditation, sports, running, etc.; all do that in different ways.  It's just a part of finding (and maintaining?) self-peace.
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,915
    edited January 2020
    True. Ive always had  a vice so find it very very hard to invent myself.  I have healthy things i try. So i will do that.  Im unravelling fast though its how to stop the inevitable. 
    I really took what -what dreams-said on board the other day about not ruining people around me with my constant down talk and obsessions  with symptoms.  It really does kill love. And it will ruin all relationships  and one may not notice until its too late. But from that day im holding it in. Its bursting but i do not want to lose anymore people. I look back and can see who felt that  way and could not take anymore of me.
    So thank you WD for the insight  and HFD i believe you said a similar  thing. 
    Knowing and trying  is important  to me


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,915
    You  know  as long as i try my very best i will still fall or stumble . I actually dont want to have any vice. 
    Thats the  truth. But i guess who does.
    With the days i have left i just want peace and some form of myself back.
    I might always have vices .


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • JPPJ84
    JPPJ84 Hamburg, Germany Posts: 3,464
    Holding it in isn’t healthy, you need to find another outlet. Maybe running would be good, it can really free your mind of any thought. or writing any symptoms talk down until the next time you talk to a professional 
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,915
    I used to run . I liked it and sadly my back wont take it now. 
    Ahh the professionals. Man im done with them. 


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • JPPJ84
    JPPJ84 Hamburg, Germany Posts: 3,464
    lastexitlondon said:
    I used to run . I liked it and sadly my back wont take it now. 
    Ahh the professionals. Man im done with them. 
    Find another sport then. Swimming is good for the back.

  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,915
    edited January 2020
    Some psychologist  had me breathing  in soil through my left leg into my pelvis. Asked how it felt and then told me to breathe soil out of my  right leg ? I went there and told her i have bad confusion. Yeah imagine  me!!
    Then underground cave water into my pelvis. Ffs breathing water through a leg really?
    Post edited by lastexitlondon on


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • JPPJ84
    JPPJ84 Hamburg, Germany Posts: 3,464
    What?! Is that a metaphor or literal description?  I don’t get it 😄
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,915
    JPPJ84 said:
    What?! Is that a metaphor or literal description?  I don’t get it 😄
    Exactly.  She looked me in the  face and said how do you feel now. I was like eerrr i dont.
    These  people are paid good money  and that was what she came up with. Mind blown.
    Its so ridiculous  its laughable.  I came  home and told my partner and she was just like wtf is that.


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,915
    She was so serious. How do i sit there. I was nervous and dizzy and then this.  And then come back in 3 weeks.  Im done with all of that rubbish


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • JPPJ84
    JPPJ84 Hamburg, Germany Posts: 3,464
    lastexitlondon said:
    JPPJ84 said:
    What?! Is that a metaphor or literal description?  I don’t get it 😄
    Exactly.  She looked me in the  face and said how do you feel now. I was like eerrr i dont.
    These  people are paid good money  and that was what she came up with. Mind blown.
    Its so ridiculous  its laughable.  I came  home and told my partner and she was just like wtf is that.
    It’s probably good to laugh about it though. Find your own way, at the very least use your appointments to vent so you don’t do it at home
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,915
    Yeah true good advice


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -

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