All things Transgender related

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  • ecdanc
    ecdanc Posts: 1,814
    mickeyrat said:
    ecdanc said:
    ecdanc said:
    ecdanc said:
    I'll say this....I don't care how people identify and want to live their lives.  Life is too short for us to tell anyone how they can live.

    That being said, this pronoun crap is ridiculous.  They even have to document your preferred pronoun on medical records now.  I told my wife I am going to use "her/they" if they ask me.
    See, what’s the proper way for me to tell Gern he’s being offensive?
    keep in mind that I don't care what pronoun people use....I'm just not going to use it
    So you’re reinforcing the dehumanization of trans, non-binary, and gender fluid people. 
    Not intentionally.  I don't think it is fair to make that case against someone who truly doesn't care how people choose to identify.
    Why does your intent matter? I doubt it does to the trans people you’re misgendering. 
    but your intent here is supposed to excuse things, right.
    Have never said that. 
  • Gern Blansten
    Gern Blansten Mar-A-Lago Posts: 22,177
    ecdanc said:
    ecdanc said:
    ecdanc said:
    I'll say this....I don't care how people identify and want to live their lives.  Life is too short for us to tell anyone how they can live.

    That being said, this pronoun crap is ridiculous.  They even have to document your preferred pronoun on medical records now.  I told my wife I am going to use "her/they" if they ask me.
    See, what’s the proper way for me to tell Gern he’s being offensive?
    keep in mind that I don't care what pronoun people use....I'm just not going to use it
    So you’re reinforcing the dehumanization of trans, non-binary, and gender fluid people. 
    Not intentionally.  I don't think it is fair to make that case against someone who truly doesn't care how people choose to identify.
    Why does your intent matter? I doubt it does to the trans people you’re misgendering. 
    I think you just want to argue regardless of what anyone says here.
    Remember the Thomas Nine !! (10/02/2018)
    The Golden Age is 2 months away. And guess what….. you’re gonna love it! (teskeinc 11.19.24)

    1998: Noblesville; 2003: Noblesville; 2009: EV Nashville, Chicago, Chicago
    2010: St Louis, Columbus, Noblesville; 2011: EV Chicago, East Troy, East Troy
    2013: London ON, Wrigley; 2014: Cincy, St Louis, Moline (NO CODE)
    2016: Lexington, Wrigley #1; 2018: Wrigley, Wrigley, Boston, Boston
    2020: Oakland, Oakland:  2021: EV Ohana, Ohana, Ohana, Ohana
    2022: Oakland, Oakland, Nashville, Louisville; 2023: Chicago, Chicago, Noblesville
    2024: Noblesville, Wrigley, Wrigley, Ohana, Ohana; 2025: Pitt1, Pitt2
  • brianlux
    brianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 43,662
    I can't help but wonder if some one has...


    "It's a sad and beautiful world"
    -Roberto Benigni

  • ecdanc
    ecdanc Posts: 1,814
    ecdanc said:
    ecdanc said:
    ecdanc said:
    I'll say this....I don't care how people identify and want to live their lives.  Life is too short for us to tell anyone how they can live.

    That being said, this pronoun crap is ridiculous.  They even have to document your preferred pronoun on medical records now.  I told my wife I am going to use "her/they" if they ask me.
    See, what’s the proper way for me to tell Gern he’s being offensive?
    keep in mind that I don't care what pronoun people use....I'm just not going to use it
    So you’re reinforcing the dehumanization of trans, non-binary, and gender fluid people. 
    Not intentionally.  I don't think it is fair to make that case against someone who truly doesn't care how people choose to identify.
    Why does your intent matter? I doubt it does to the trans people you’re misgendering. 
    I think you just want to argue regardless of what anyone says here.
    I'd love not to argue, but people keep saying offensive things here, then they want to argue when I say "umm, that's offensive." 

    Just say, "I hadn't thought about how my choice of words might have an impact on marginalized people; I'll respect people's pronoun choices so I don't unwittingly align myself with these harmful discursive formations" and we'll have no argument. 
  • ecdanc
    ecdanc Posts: 1,814
    brianlux said:
    I can't help but wonder if some one has...


    I know you probably won't believe me, but my only ulterior motive is to call out people who are being offensive/dehumanizing. 
  • brianlux
    brianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 43,662
    ecdanc said:
    brianlux said:
    I can't help but wonder if some one has...


    I know you probably won't believe me, but my only ulterior motive is to call out people who are being offensive/dehumanizing. 

    Right, like homophobic, prejudiced bigots such as myself.


    "It's a sad and beautiful world"
    -Roberto Benigni

  • dignin
    dignin Posts: 9,478
    ecdanc said:
    ecdanc said:
    ecdanc said:
    I'll say this....I don't care how people identify and want to live their lives.  Life is too short for us to tell anyone how they can live.

    That being said, this pronoun crap is ridiculous.  They even have to document your preferred pronoun on medical records now.  I told my wife I am going to use "her/they" if they ask me.
    See, what’s the proper way for me to tell Gern he’s being offensive?
    keep in mind that I don't care what pronoun people use....I'm just not going to use it
    So you’re reinforcing the dehumanization of trans, non-binary, and gender fluid people. 
    Not intentionally.  I don't think it is fair to make that case against someone who truly doesn't care how people choose to identify.
    Why does your intent matter? I doubt it does to the trans people you’re misgendering. 
    It should and it does, in my experiences anyways.
  • ecdanc
    ecdanc Posts: 1,814
    brianlux said:
    ecdanc said:
    brianlux said:
    I can't help but wonder if some one has...


    I know you probably won't believe me, but my only ulterior motive is to call out people who are being offensive/dehumanizing. 

    Right, like homophobic, prejudiced bigots such as myself.


    Now you’re being purposely obtuse. Your statement was linked to prejudice. Read. 
  • ecdanc
    ecdanc Posts: 1,814
    dignin said:
    ecdanc said:
    ecdanc said:
    ecdanc said:
    I'll say this....I don't care how people identify and want to live their lives.  Life is too short for us to tell anyone how they can live.

    That being said, this pronoun crap is ridiculous.  They even have to document your preferred pronoun on medical records now.  I told my wife I am going to use "her/they" if they ask me.
    See, what’s the proper way for me to tell Gern he’s being offensive?
    keep in mind that I don't care what pronoun people use....I'm just not going to use it
    So you’re reinforcing the dehumanization of trans, non-binary, and gender fluid people. 
    Not intentionally.  I don't think it is fair to make that case against someone who truly doesn't care how people choose to identify.
    Why does your intent matter? I doubt it does to the trans people you’re misgendering. 
    It should and it does, in my experiences anyways.
    I agree that intentionally dehumanizing someone is worse than unintentionally dehumanizing someone. 
  • dignin
    dignin Posts: 9,478
    ecdanc said:
    ecdanc said:
    ecdanc said:
    ecdanc said:
    I'll say this....I don't care how people identify and want to live their lives.  Life is too short for us to tell anyone how they can live.

    That being said, this pronoun crap is ridiculous.  They even have to document your preferred pronoun on medical records now.  I told my wife I am going to use "her/they" if they ask me.
    See, what’s the proper way for me to tell Gern he’s being offensive?
    keep in mind that I don't care what pronoun people use....I'm just not going to use it
    So you’re reinforcing the dehumanization of trans, non-binary, and gender fluid people. 
    Not intentionally.  I don't think it is fair to make that case against someone who truly doesn't care how people choose to identify.
    Why does your intent matter? I doubt it does to the trans people you’re misgendering. 
    I think you just want to argue regardless of what anyone says here.
    I'd love not to argue, but people keep saying offensive things here, then they want to argue when I say "umm, that's offensive." 

    Just say, "I hadn't thought about how my choice of words might have an impact on marginalized people; I'll respect people's pronoun choices so I don't unwittingly align myself with these harmful discursive formations" and we'll have no argument. 
    I think most here would agree with the bolded. I do.
  • ecdanc
    ecdanc Posts: 1,814
    dignin said:
    ecdanc said:
    ecdanc said:
    ecdanc said:
    ecdanc said:
    I'll say this....I don't care how people identify and want to live their lives.  Life is too short for us to tell anyone how they can live.

    That being said, this pronoun crap is ridiculous.  They even have to document your preferred pronoun on medical records now.  I told my wife I am going to use "her/they" if they ask me.
    See, what’s the proper way for me to tell Gern he’s being offensive?
    keep in mind that I don't care what pronoun people use....I'm just not going to use it
    So you’re reinforcing the dehumanization of trans, non-binary, and gender fluid people. 
    Not intentionally.  I don't think it is fair to make that case against someone who truly doesn't care how people choose to identify.
    Why does your intent matter? I doubt it does to the trans people you’re misgendering. 
    I think you just want to argue regardless of what anyone says here.
    I'd love not to argue, but people keep saying offensive things here, then they want to argue when I say "umm, that's offensive." 

    Just say, "I hadn't thought about how my choice of words might have an impact on marginalized people; I'll respect people's pronoun choices so I don't unwittingly align myself with these harmful discursive formations" and we'll have no argument. 
    I think most here would agree with the bolded. I do.
    We have some very vocal holdouts. 
  • Gern Blansten
    Gern Blansten Mar-A-Lago Posts: 22,177
    ecdanc said:
    ecdanc said:
    ecdanc said:
    ecdanc said:
    I'll say this....I don't care how people identify and want to live their lives.  Life is too short for us to tell anyone how they can live.

    That being said, this pronoun crap is ridiculous.  They even have to document your preferred pronoun on medical records now.  I told my wife I am going to use "her/they" if they ask me.
    See, what’s the proper way for me to tell Gern he’s being offensive?
    keep in mind that I don't care what pronoun people use....I'm just not going to use it
    So you’re reinforcing the dehumanization of trans, non-binary, and gender fluid people. 
    Not intentionally.  I don't think it is fair to make that case against someone who truly doesn't care how people choose to identify.
    Why does your intent matter? I doubt it does to the trans people you’re misgendering. 
    I think you just want to argue regardless of what anyone says here.
    I'd love not to argue, but people keep saying offensive things here, then they want to argue when I say "umm, that's offensive." 

    Just say, "I hadn't thought about how my choice of words might have an impact on marginalized people; I'll respect people's pronoun choices so I don't unwittingly align myself with these harmful discursive formations" and we'll have no argument. 
    I guess I have a hard time putting it in context.  
    Remember the Thomas Nine !! (10/02/2018)
    The Golden Age is 2 months away. And guess what….. you’re gonna love it! (teskeinc 11.19.24)

    1998: Noblesville; 2003: Noblesville; 2009: EV Nashville, Chicago, Chicago
    2010: St Louis, Columbus, Noblesville; 2011: EV Chicago, East Troy, East Troy
    2013: London ON, Wrigley; 2014: Cincy, St Louis, Moline (NO CODE)
    2016: Lexington, Wrigley #1; 2018: Wrigley, Wrigley, Boston, Boston
    2020: Oakland, Oakland:  2021: EV Ohana, Ohana, Ohana, Ohana
    2022: Oakland, Oakland, Nashville, Louisville; 2023: Chicago, Chicago, Noblesville
    2024: Noblesville, Wrigley, Wrigley, Ohana, Ohana; 2025: Pitt1, Pitt2
  • I'll say this....I don't care how people identify and want to live their lives.  Life is too short for us to tell anyone how they can live.

    That being said, this pronoun crap is ridiculous.  They even have to document your preferred pronoun on medical records now.  I told my wife I am going to use "her/they" if they ask me.
    A lot of people think this way.  I think this way.

    It is something I try and understand and do not get, I just don't.  

    I have gay neighbors that have an adopted son that wants to trasngender/transform to a woman.  They don't understand but are trying.

    I'm trying.  

    It may take a lot of questions and people telling me I'm offending them or I am not getting it but I am trying.

    In the end I may not understand but that doesn't mean that I am against what they are doing.  Live and let live.
  • ecdanc
    ecdanc Posts: 1,814
    ecdanc said:
    ecdanc said:
    ecdanc said:
    ecdanc said:
    I'll say this....I don't care how people identify and want to live their lives.  Life is too short for us to tell anyone how they can live.

    That being said, this pronoun crap is ridiculous.  They even have to document your preferred pronoun on medical records now.  I told my wife I am going to use "her/they" if they ask me.
    See, what’s the proper way for me to tell Gern he’s being offensive?
    keep in mind that I don't care what pronoun people use....I'm just not going to use it
    So you’re reinforcing the dehumanization of trans, non-binary, and gender fluid people. 
    Not intentionally.  I don't think it is fair to make that case against someone who truly doesn't care how people choose to identify.
    Why does your intent matter? I doubt it does to the trans people you’re misgendering. 
    I think you just want to argue regardless of what anyone says here.
    I'd love not to argue, but people keep saying offensive things here, then they want to argue when I say "umm, that's offensive." 

    Just say, "I hadn't thought about how my choice of words might have an impact on marginalized people; I'll respect people's pronoun choices so I don't unwittingly align myself with these harmful discursive formations" and we'll have no argument. 
    I guess I have a hard time putting it in context.  
    Not sure what you mean 
  • ecdanc
    ecdanc Posts: 1,814
    I'll say this....I don't care how people identify and want to live their lives.  Life is too short for us to tell anyone how they can live.

    That being said, this pronoun crap is ridiculous.  They even have to document your preferred pronoun on medical records now.  I told my wife I am going to use "her/they" if they ask me.
    A lot of people think this way.  I think this way.

    It is something I try and understand and do not get, I just don't.  

    I have gay neighbors that have an adopted son that wants to trasngender/transform to a woman.  They don't understand but are trying.

    I'm trying.  

    It may take a lot of questions and people telling me I'm offending them or I am not getting it but I am trying.

    In the end I may not understand but that doesn't mean that I am against what they are doing.  Live and let live.
    “This ... is ridiculous” does not sound like someone trying to understand. 
  • dignin
    dignin Posts: 9,478
    ecdanc said:
    dignin said:
    ecdanc said:
    ecdanc said:
    ecdanc said:
    I'll say this....I don't care how people identify and want to live their lives.  Life is too short for us to tell anyone how they can live.

    That being said, this pronoun crap is ridiculous.  They even have to document your preferred pronoun on medical records now.  I told my wife I am going to use "her/they" if they ask me.
    See, what’s the proper way for me to tell Gern he’s being offensive?
    keep in mind that I don't care what pronoun people use....I'm just not going to use it
    So you’re reinforcing the dehumanization of trans, non-binary, and gender fluid people. 
    Not intentionally.  I don't think it is fair to make that case against someone who truly doesn't care how people choose to identify.
    Why does your intent matter? I doubt it does to the trans people you’re misgendering. 
    It should and it does, in my experiences anyways.
    I agree that intentionally dehumanizing someone is worse than unintentionally dehumanizing someone. 
    In my experience, although very limited, the trans people I know are very understanding. I work with a trans person, but I had the luxury of being introduced to her with her name. So that's how I refer to her. 

    But even with my best intentions, I could probably still fuck that up somehow and I get the impression she would be forgiving. Most of us have spent our entire lives using two pronouns so we're bound to slip every once in awhile, even with the best of intentions.
  • Gern Blansten
    Gern Blansten Mar-A-Lago Posts: 22,177
    I'll say this....I don't care how people identify and want to live their lives.  Life is too short for us to tell anyone how they can live.

    That being said, this pronoun crap is ridiculous.  They even have to document your preferred pronoun on medical records now.  I told my wife I am going to use "her/they" if they ask me.
    A lot of people think this way.  I think this way.

    It is something I try and understand and do not get, I just don't.  

    I have gay neighbors that have an adopted son that wants to trasngender/transform to a woman.  They don't understand but are trying.

    I'm trying.  

    It may take a lot of questions and people telling me I'm offending them or I am not getting it but I am trying.

    In the end I may not understand but that doesn't mean that I am against what they are doing.  Live and let live.
    well said....

    I get that saying "there is only male and female" is probably incorrect.  I'm not a scientist so I just can't argue about it.
    Remember the Thomas Nine !! (10/02/2018)
    The Golden Age is 2 months away. And guess what….. you’re gonna love it! (teskeinc 11.19.24)

    1998: Noblesville; 2003: Noblesville; 2009: EV Nashville, Chicago, Chicago
    2010: St Louis, Columbus, Noblesville; 2011: EV Chicago, East Troy, East Troy
    2013: London ON, Wrigley; 2014: Cincy, St Louis, Moline (NO CODE)
    2016: Lexington, Wrigley #1; 2018: Wrigley, Wrigley, Boston, Boston
    2020: Oakland, Oakland:  2021: EV Ohana, Ohana, Ohana, Ohana
    2022: Oakland, Oakland, Nashville, Louisville; 2023: Chicago, Chicago, Noblesville
    2024: Noblesville, Wrigley, Wrigley, Ohana, Ohana; 2025: Pitt1, Pitt2
  • ecdanc
    ecdanc Posts: 1,814
    dignin said:
    ecdanc said:
    dignin said:
    ecdanc said:
    ecdanc said:
    ecdanc said:
    I'll say this....I don't care how people identify and want to live their lives.  Life is too short for us to tell anyone how they can live.

    That being said, this pronoun crap is ridiculous.  They even have to document your preferred pronoun on medical records now.  I told my wife I am going to use "her/they" if they ask me.
    See, what’s the proper way for me to tell Gern he’s being offensive?
    keep in mind that I don't care what pronoun people use....I'm just not going to use it
    So you’re reinforcing the dehumanization of trans, non-binary, and gender fluid people. 
    Not intentionally.  I don't think it is fair to make that case against someone who truly doesn't care how people choose to identify.
    Why does your intent matter? I doubt it does to the trans people you’re misgendering. 
    It should and it does, in my experiences anyways.
    I agree that intentionally dehumanizing someone is worse than unintentionally dehumanizing someone. 
    In my experience, although very limited, the trans people I know are very understanding. I work with a trans person, but I had the luxury of being introduced to her with her name. So that's how I refer to her. 

    But even with my best intentions, I could probably still fuck that up somehow and I get the impression she would be forgiving. Most of us have spent our entire lives using two pronouns so we're bound to slip every once in awhile, even with the best of intentions.
    Absolutely. The goal is to minimize—and eventually eliminate—their need to be forgiving (in this precise way). 
  • Gern Blansten
    Gern Blansten Mar-A-Lago Posts: 22,177
    ecdanc said:
    I'll say this....I don't care how people identify and want to live their lives.  Life is too short for us to tell anyone how they can live.

    That being said, this pronoun crap is ridiculous.  They even have to document your preferred pronoun on medical records now.  I told my wife I am going to use "her/they" if they ask me.
    A lot of people think this way.  I think this way.

    It is something I try and understand and do not get, I just don't.  

    I have gay neighbors that have an adopted son that wants to trasngender/transform to a woman.  They don't understand but are trying.

    I'm trying.  

    It may take a lot of questions and people telling me I'm offending them or I am not getting it but I am trying.

    In the end I may not understand but that doesn't mean that I am against what they are doing.  Live and let live.
    “This ... is ridiculous” does not sound like someone trying to understand. 
    I apologize if that offended you, truly.  I think it is ridiculous in the sense that no one could possibly know what pronoun someone wants to be referred to as when we don't have it tattooed on our foreheads or wear some sort of sign/tag.  

    Remember the Thomas Nine !! (10/02/2018)
    The Golden Age is 2 months away. And guess what….. you’re gonna love it! (teskeinc 11.19.24)

    1998: Noblesville; 2003: Noblesville; 2009: EV Nashville, Chicago, Chicago
    2010: St Louis, Columbus, Noblesville; 2011: EV Chicago, East Troy, East Troy
    2013: London ON, Wrigley; 2014: Cincy, St Louis, Moline (NO CODE)
    2016: Lexington, Wrigley #1; 2018: Wrigley, Wrigley, Boston, Boston
    2020: Oakland, Oakland:  2021: EV Ohana, Ohana, Ohana, Ohana
    2022: Oakland, Oakland, Nashville, Louisville; 2023: Chicago, Chicago, Noblesville
    2024: Noblesville, Wrigley, Wrigley, Ohana, Ohana; 2025: Pitt1, Pitt2
  • Spiritual_Chaos
    Spiritual_Chaos Posts: 31,470
    edited January 2020
    ecdanc said:
    I'll say this....I don't care how people identify and want to live their lives.  Life is too short for us to tell anyone how they can live.

    That being said, this pronoun crap is ridiculous.  They even have to document your preferred pronoun on medical records now.  I told my wife I am going to use "her/they" if they ask me.
    A lot of people think this way.  I think this way.

    It is something I try and understand and do not get, I just don't.  

    I have gay neighbors that have an adopted son that wants to trasngender/transform to a woman.  They don't understand but are trying.

    I'm trying.  

    It may take a lot of questions and people telling me I'm offending them or I am not getting it but I am trying.

    In the end I may not understand but that doesn't mean that I am against what they are doing.  Live and let live.
    “This ... is ridiculous” does not sound like someone trying to understand. 
    I apologize if that offended you, truly.  I think it is ridiculous in the sense that no one could possibly know what pronoun someone wants to be referred to as when we don't have it tattooed on our foreheads or wear some sort of sign/tag.  

    So? What's the point trying to be made here?

    Who has asked you to know this?
    Post edited by Spiritual_Chaos on
    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"