Should I ask Agnes out on a date?

lastexitlondon said:

Dude ffs.  Why not try with her for a date at least. You never know if you don't  dip your toe in the water

Yeah, I have to agree. This seems like a missed opportunity. Sigh. Oh well, too late now I guess.

OffSheGoes35 said:

Meltdown99 said:

PJ_Soul said:

HesCalledDyer said:

Meltdown99 said:

I know I would suck at dating at this point.  The last time I asked someone out on a date was 30 years ago, and I was not very good at it then...lol, so if I ever become interested in dating again I'd be totally lost.  LOL

I'm with ya, I don't understand how it works anymore at all.

I don't think there is a formula or anything... You just do it however you want, and wait until someone who goes for whatever that is comes along. The only "trick" to dating is handling rejection well and perseverance.

Here is how I'm approaching things for now.  I am not actively looking, but if I meet someone that would be great too.  In a nutshell, if someone ends up in my life accidentally I'll pursue.  Does that make sense?

There's no way I would meet someone accidentally, I don't go out enough for that to even happen. lol

I'm in the same situation.  I don't go to bars and don't have a workplace and I'm not trying online dating. I haven't been on a 'date' since I met  my son's father, so we're going back to the late 90's. I have no idea how things work today and I'm not a 'hook-up' kind of person, unfortunately. I have guy friends and acquaintances who have let it be known that they'd avail themselves but none that I think of in that way. 

Ali seems to be single by choice in a good and healthy way and enjoying it and getting what she needs when she needs it.  I think that is awesome. 

I am single by choice because of the monumental clusterf*ks I got into. I don't believe in soul mates or true love, I have never experienced a healthy mature relationship. That effects how I think about letting a man into my life (not that I'd know where to find one). 

My elderly mother and adult son live with me and depend on me. Doesn't matter that I've got my own crap; I have no back up. So that doesn't leave much room for whatever it would take to find a relationship.  Would I even let them into my life? If I really wanted to I suppose I'd find a way.

Spiritual_Chaos said:

lastexitlondon said:

Dude ffs.  Why not try with her for a date at least. You never know if you don't  dip your toe in the water

I hate breaking up stuff and shit... Afraid of conflict and stuff... so rather not get involved in things if I don't feel super. Can't stand "dumping" someone after one date or whatever -- "It was nice, but it didn't feel right" can't do it. Haha.

She remembered my name though. Which was very weird. With us not saying a word to eachother and the match happened like 2-3 months ago.

Maybe you're just not in a place with yourself that you are really ready for a relationship. You think that's what you should be doing because that's what society tells you to do, but maybe you need to work on you for awhile and then you'd know what you wanted. Or not. I really am not the best adviser I suppose. 

njnancy said:

Spiritual_Chaos said:

lastexitlondon said:

Dude ffs.  Why not try with her for a date at least. You never know if you don't  dip your toe in the water

I hate breaking up stuff and shit... Afraid of conflict and stuff... so rather not get involved in things if I don't feel super. Can't stand "dumping" someone after one date or whatever -- "It was nice, but it didn't feel right" can't do it. Haha.

She remembered my name though. Which was very weird. With us not saying a word to each other and the match happened like 2-3 months ago.

Maybe you're just not in a place with yourself that you are really ready for a relationship. You think that's what you should be doing because that's what society tells you to do, but maybe you need to work on you for awhile and then you'd know what you wanted. Or not. I really am not the best adviser I suppose. 

   That's my favorite part. Really good advice!

Spiritual_Chaos said:

njnancy said:

Spiritual_Chaos said:

lastexitlondon said:

Dude ffs.  Why not try with her for a date at least. You never know if you don't  dip your toe in the water

I hate breaking up stuff and shit... Afraid of conflict and stuff... so rather not get involved in things if I don't feel super. Can't stand "dumping" someone after one date or whatever -- "It was nice, but it didn't feel right" can't do it. Haha.

She remembered my name though. Which was very weird. With us not saying a word to eachother and the match happened like 2-3 months ago.

Maybe you're just not in a place with yourself that you are really ready for a relationship. You think that's what you should be doing because that's what society tells you to do, but maybe you need to work on you for awhile and then you'd know what you wanted. Or not. I really am not the best adviser I suppose. 

But I just wrote didn't feel super concerning her, with her fingers in my nose. That is saying I knew I didn't want it...

But in general, looking-for-love wise I'm:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1CmNuKsgaI

I actually kinda liked that song.  I'm starting to worry about myself.

OffSheGoes35 said:

njnancy said:

OffSheGoes35 said:

Meltdown99 said:

PJ_Soul said:

HesCalledDyer said:

Meltdown99 said:

I know I would suck at dating at this point.  The last time I asked someone out on a date was 30 years ago, and I was not very good at it then...lol, so if I ever become interested in dating again I'd be totally lost.  LOL

I'm with ya, I don't understand how it works anymore at all.

I don't think there is a formula or anything... You just do it however you want, and wait until someone who goes for whatever that is comes along. The only "trick" to dating is handling rejection well and perseverance.

Here is how I'm approaching things for now.  I am not actively looking, but if I meet someone that would be great too.  In a nutshell, if someone ends up in my life accidentally I'll pursue.  Does that make sense?

There's no way I would meet someone accidentally, I don't go out enough for that to even happen. lol

I'm in the same situation.  I don't go to bars and don't have a workplace and I'm not trying online dating. I haven't been on a 'date' since I met  my son's father, so we're going back to the late 90's. I have no idea how things work today and I'm not a 'hook-up' kind of person, unfortunately. I have guy friends and acquaintances who have let it be known that they'd avail themselves but none that I think of in that way. 

Ali seems to be single by choice in a good and healthy way and enjoying it and getting what she needs when she needs it.  I think that is awesome. 

I am single by choice because of the monumental clusterf*ks I got into. I don't believe in soul mates or true love, I have never experienced a healthy mature relationship. That effects how I think about letting a man into my life (not that I'd know where to find one). 

My elderly mother and adult son live with me and depend on me. Doesn't matter that I've got my own crap; I have no back up. So that doesn't leave much room for whatever it would take to find a relationship.  Would I even let them into my life? If I really wanted to I suppose I'd find a way.

I definitely understand monumental clusterf*cks. I am right there with you. #1 Don't trust my instincts anymore when it comes to the men I'm attracted to.#2 I don't trust my ability to be in a healthy relationship. All I've ever known is avoiding confrontations at all costs, and if that doesn't work, get ready to endure the silent treatment. I don't think I've ever been a part of a discussion/argument that ended with both parties feeling understood. The very few times I argued with my then husband, we didn't argue from the viewpoint that we're  on the same team trying to iron something out, we argued like it was me vs.him and there was one clear winner and solution.

I get you. Completely. I have no trust in the men  I've 'loved' and in my instincts and I second guess everything about a relationship since I never had one that worked as it should.There was never listening and responding, just yelling and yelling and more. My last relationship was the worst by far, but I have a pattern of picking the wrong people throughout my life. So I don't want to live that way anymore. A burden I will always have, as I should, is that I brought a child into this dysfunction. Of course I did not know until it was too late, but no child should have to grow up in such a contentious environment. Never.  

OffSheGoes35 said:

Meltdown99 said:

PJ_Soul said:

HesCalledDyer said:

Meltdown99 said:

I know I would suck at dating at this point.  The last time I asked someone out on a date was 30 years ago, and I was not very good at it then...lol, so if I ever become interested in dating again I'd be totally lost.  LOL

I'm with ya, I don't understand how it works anymore at all.

I don't think there is a formula or anything... You just do it however you want, and wait until someone who goes for whatever that is comes along. The only "trick" to dating is handling rejection well and perseverance.

Here is how I'm approaching things for now.  I am not actively looking, but if I meet someone that would be great too.  In a nutshell, if someone ends up in my life accidentally I'll pursue.  Does that make sense?

There's no way I would meet someone accidentally, I don't go out enough for that to even happen. lol

I understand that.  I do not go out much either.  I am not looking at the moment.  

  .Nancy, hopefully in this one case, your son is like me. My mom has apologized for staying with my dad as long as she did, and that was the easiest apology I've ever accepted. 

My mom would be the very last person on this earth to intentionally harm me. It would just never happen. And knowing that makes a big difference.

Let me re-phrase that, honest to a fault online dating profiles. See if we get any replies. hehe