Should I ask Agnes out on a date?

From his amateur Peeping Tom days. I thought you got rid of that photo album, S_C!

OffSheGoes35 said:

dankind said:

I meditate with music, usually 20th century minimalist composers (Glass, Reich, Riley, extended early Pink Floyd jams).

That's a good idea. I'm going to try that. I usually put on a guided meditation video by Thich Nhat Hanh on YouTube.

I have one of his CD's and a booklet. When I first got sober I delved into a lot of different self help, meditation avenues. I found that I could meditate pretty easily as long as I had the right conditions (no people around, other noises off) and it is a very helpful tool. I've gone to guided meditation which is pretty interesting; my sponsor was a yoga instructor and knew people that did all the chi, energy, etc stuff. Unfortunately her son was in a really bad accident and she was a single mom and had to concentrate on him, so I lost a really great mentor. 

I don't like group therapy for depression or mental health issues, I prefer to have a one on one therapist and also a psychiatrist (to prescribe meds, watch that I'm not having side effects, or if I'm really off the rails). I like group therapy when it comes to AA and other issues where peer to peer support is crucial. 

I don't have a therapist or a psychiatrist right now. After having a long term shrink, I went to a practice where one doctor specialized in trauma, and he was great. But about a year in he left to go the VA and I switched doctors 3 times, none of them were really helping and I also was cycled through 3 different therapists so I finally had enough. When someone is dealing with trauma, change is not a good thing. You're starting from scratch every 6 months. 

I've searched for someone who is a trauma specialist and it is hard to find one that takes my insurance. I could easily find one if I didn't have a specific need at the moment - as long as I like their vibe and approach, I'm really open. 

The longer I go without a doctor, the worse I get cause negativity is easier to feed than light. And this is a new animal, I've learned how to live with my other ones. 

Anyway - self affirmation books are really great too. There are gobs of them for all kinds of people/issues. I find that reading a daily meditation and thinking and writing about that thought is helpful in keeping me on track (I just need to get back on the rails. )

dankind said:

I really like this for some bizarre reason.

bootlegger10 said:

dankind said:

I meditate with music, usually 20th century minimalist composers (Glass, Reich, Riley, extended early Pink Floyd jams).

I have gotten into movie scores recently.  Glass of course, but Nick Cave & Warren Ellis have done some good ones and Interstellar's score is really great too.  I'm sure there are tons out there.

There are a myriad of phone apps, if you aren't going for a specific artist, that have all different types of music, sounds, speaking. There's plenty of options to start with if you don't know what you like or what works for you.

OffSheGoes35 said:

Has anybody tried group therapy, a support group, or a meditation group?

Yes, I tried a support group.  I do not recommend.

njnancy said:

OffSheGoes35 said:

dankind said:

I meditate with music, usually 20th century minimalist composers (Glass, Reich, Riley, extended early Pink Floyd jams).

That's a good idea. I'm going to try that. I usually put on a guided meditation video by Thich Nhat Hanh on YouTube.

I have one of his CD's and a booklet. When I first got sober I delved into a lot of different self help, meditation avenues. I found that I could meditate pretty easily as long as I had the right conditions (no people around, other noises off) and it is a very helpful tool. I've gone to guided meditation which is pretty interesting; my sponsor was a yoga instructor and knew people that did all the chi, energy, etc stuff. Unfortunately her son was in a really bad accident and she was a single mom and had to concentrate on him, so I lost a really great mentor. 

I don't like group therapy for depression or mental health issues, I prefer to have a one on one therapist and also a psychiatrist (to prescribe meds, watch that I'm not having side effects, or if I'm really off the rails). I like group therapy when it comes to AA and other issues where peer to peer support is crucial. 

I don't have a therapist or a psychiatrist right now. After having a long term shrink, I went to a practice where one doctor specialized in trauma, and he was great. But about a year in he left to go the VA and I switched doctors 3 times, none of them were really helping and I also was cycled through 3 different therapists so I finally had enough. When someone is dealing with trauma, change is not a good thing. You're starting from scratch every 6 months. 

I've searched for someone who is a trauma specialist and it is hard to find one that takes my insurance. I could easily find one if I didn't have a specific need at the moment - as long as I like their vibe and approach, I'm really open. 

The longer I go without a doctor, the worse I get cause negativity is easier to feed than light. And this is a new animal, I've learned how to live with my other ones. 

Anyway - self affirmation books are really great too. There are gobs of them for all kinds of people/issues. I find that reading a daily meditation and thinking and writing about that thought is helpful in keeping me on track (I just need to get back on the rails. )

The last therapist I had recommended this. She said we sometimes don't realize how many negative thoughts we have about ourselves throughout the course of a day, we need to make room for positive ones as well. Which made sense to me. 

dankind said:

My problem with group is that it seems to lead to deeper depression or an overwhelming desire to help others within your group instead of focus on yourself -- at least if you're an empath.

this why I don't think I'd suit group very well. I didn't know that empath was even a thing until recently, and it really turned a light on into who I am and why and that it's ok, but you have to take steps to make sure you keep yourself healthy. I had to purge some relationships from my life as a result of this. 

OffSheGoes35 said:

dankind said:

My problem with group is that it seems to lead to deeper depression or an overwhelming desire to help others within your group instead of focus on yourself -- at least if you're an empath.

I wonder why there would be such an overwhelming desire when you are there seeking help yourself? I don't mean for that to sound judgmental, because I am the same way, but it makes me wonder about the motives behind that. Maybe we don't want to be the people that everyone else in the room wants to help? 

for me, and this is going to sound weird or maybe dramatic or something, but when I see pain of another, I honestly feel it myself like it's my own. sometimes I rack my brain trying to figure out a life problem and it takes me time to remember that it's actually not my problem at all, it's someone else's. 

when someone is going through something, some people feel sad that the person feels sad. but when you leave the presence of that person and situation, that sadness stays there and you go on your way. with me, it comes with me. it can sometimes consume me. not in an obsessive way, I'm not sure how to explain it. it feels like it's MY pain. for example: if a friend's mother dies, in addiiton to feeling for them, I am also sad about my own mother dying, even though she's alive and well. it's really strange. and it feels irrational. I actually have to go through the stages of grief for someone I don't even know. it's bizarre, and it is EXHAUSTING. 

so the people that I have had to "let go" in my life are those that have constant issues in their life and refuse to help themselves.