A girl told me I creep her out

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Comments

  • MayDay10
    MayDay10 Posts: 11,855
    edited May 2016
    You just have to not worry about anything this girl does or has done. Erase it. If she engages you in conversation about things (which she might because many girls that age like to dangle the carrot)... you CANNOT pour out about her positioning in relation to you each day when walking to the train... or when she left class, where she sat, how you unfollowed her on facebook etc. Reciting these details would be no good and... creepy. You are putting way too much thought into it which will only dig a hole (that does not exist).
    If anything comes up about your 'friendship' or anything, just take it in stride. Look at her like someone you will not know in a couple months... and someone who doesn't give a shit. You cant give a shit either.


    Self confidence is the number one thing. It is tough to obtain. Its a very tough balance. I know you have shot this down before... but you could take out a lot of your stress working out, dieting, etc and come out on the other end looking and feeling great. Hammer your studies and do the best you can do and continue it to finding a great job. A guy who is in shape, with money, and plays in mean guitar in their 30s will be the hunted. The world is out there for you. You have to go get it. All this self loathing, worrying about what others think of you, etc is negative and destructive. A mental cancer that will only hold you down. I'm no therapist, but as I mentioned, I sympathize with a lot of your situations because I 'suffered' from similar issues throughout a portion of my life.


    Post edited by MayDay10 on
  • PJ_Soul
    PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 50,680
    edited May 2016
    Thoughts_Arrive said:

    RKCNDY said:

    she was probably trying to be nice instead of telling you to 'get the fuck away from me'. You are old enough to be her dad, and that's very unnerving for her. I went on a blind date with a guy who didn't tell me his age until the end. I was 18 and he was 34, that IS creepy. You really should stick to girls 25+. Just be cordial towards her, drop the subject of previous events, move forward.

    Yeah this one was out of the norm and I am ashamed about it. Never again.
    Good idea. I completely missed the fact that there is a huge age difference. That changes everything to be honest. She has likely applied the "creepy" label to you because it is indeed creepy for any man that much older than an 18 year old to be showing interest romantically. But you have clearly realized this, so no harm done really, and lesson learned.
    Anyway, don't sweat it. She's some kid who doesn't know wtf life is even about yet, for the most part. Just treat her like you would treat any other stranger you're stuck in a project group with. Meaning stick to the topic at hand. The personal life or inner feelings of an 18 year old should not have any place in your thoughts or concerns.
    Post edited by PJ_Soul on
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,454
    see you saying shamed and ashamed alot.

    look into dr brenee brown. she has some good stuff on that.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • Degeneratefk
    Degeneratefk Posts: 3,123
    I think it's time to move on. Start by deleting this thread.
    will myself to find a home, a home within myself
    we will find a way, we will find our place
  • Dr. Delight
    Dr. Delight Posts: 11,210
    edited May 2016
    Yep, forget her and start by removing this thread.
    Also, shoot for woman 21 and older....
    And so you see, I have come to doubt
    All that I once held as true
    I stand alone without beliefs
    The only truth I know is you.
  • SPEEDY MCCREADY
    SPEEDY MCCREADY Posts: 26,869
    Go for the younger ladies.

    Middle aged ladies CREEP ME OUT!
    Take me piece by piece.....
    Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
  • polaris_x
    polaris_x Posts: 13,559
    actually not a bad idea ... would highly recommend dating an older woman ... :blush:
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    mickeyrat said:

    see you saying shamed and ashamed alot.

    look into dr brenee brown. she has some good stuff on that.

    I just watched her Ted talk on shame.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    polaris_x said:

    actually not a bad idea ... would highly recommend dating an older woman ... :blush:

    I tried with a woman 6 years older than me and she turned me down.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    PJ_Soul said:

    Thoughts_Arrive said:

    RKCNDY said:

    she was probably trying to be nice instead of telling you to 'get the fuck away from me'. You are old enough to be her dad, and that's very unnerving for her. I went on a blind date with a guy who didn't tell me his age until the end. I was 18 and he was 34, that IS creepy. You really should stick to girls 25+. Just be cordial towards her, drop the subject of previous events, move forward.

    Yeah this one was out of the norm and I am ashamed about it. Never again.
    Good idea. I completely missed the fact that there is a huge age difference. That changes everything to be honest. She has likely applied the "creepy" label to you because it is indeed creepy for any man that much older than an 18 year old to be showing interest romantically. But you have clearly realized this, so no harm done really, and lesson learned.
    Anyway, don't sweat it. She's some kid who doesn't know wtf life is even about yet, for the most part. Just treat her like you would treat any other stranger you're stuck in a project group with. Meaning stick to the topic at hand. The personal life or inner feelings of an 18 year old should not have any place in your thoughts or concerns.
    Yeah I regretted asking her out the day after, what was I thinking, I guess I just got caught up in the moment.
    It's making me feel depressed. I prefer women my age or older to be honest.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,454
    Thoughts_Arrive said:

    mickeyrat said:

    see you saying shamed and ashamed alot.

    look into dr brenee brown. she has some good stuff on that.

    I just watched her Ted talk on shame.
    shes hooked in with oprah too. likely see more there from stuff they put together.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    edited May 2016
    Just googling online, this article and the comments below it kind of made me feel less shamed for having asked her out.
    http://www.nicknotas.com/blog/older-men-who-like-younger-women-arent-creeps/

    Anyways different topic,
    I met this girl about my age or older when I played at an open mic a few months ago. She came up to me as I was sitting down at a table and seemed very open and friendly. I caught her looking at me a few times during the night as she sat at the bar with her friend. Problem was I was with a guy I know from the scene and I felt bad if I ditched him to pursue this girl. Anyways after the gig I sent her a friend request on Facebook and she accepted, we've commented on each other's posts from time to time. She's into the Goth scene which I am not into but I find her attractive. I haven't interacted with her in a while as she deactivated and then reactivated her account due to her study commitments. Don't know how I should reinstigate contact without coming across as creepy.
    Post edited by Thoughts_Arrive on
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,454
    "Hey. Havent seen you here in a while. Wondered how you were"
    Simple and straighforward as that.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • Poncier
    Poncier Posts: 17,894
    Thoughts_Arrive said:

    . Don't know how I should reinstigate contact without coming across as creepy.

    Send her a youtube video of her hometown.
    This weekend we rock Portland
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    Poncier said:

    Thoughts_Arrive said:

    . Don't know how I should reinstigate contact without coming across as creepy.

    Send her a youtube video of her hometown.
    Well played.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    So, I sat away from her in class today, as the class ended I pretty much walked out hastily to get to my next class, somehow she caught up to me and walked past me. We then got to the lift and both got in and I said hi, she said hi what's been happening. Just a few words. Got to our next class and she seemed fine. Was joking around with me. We walked to the train station with our assignment group member and she had to run to her platform as her train was a minute away leaving me and our other assignment group member. Confused.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Annafalk
    Annafalk Sweden Posts: 4,004
    Thoughts_Arrive said:

    So, I sat away from her in class today, as the class ended I pretty much walked out hastily to get to my next class, somehow she caught up to me and walked past me. We then got to the lift and both got in and I said hi, she said hi what's been happening. Just a few words. Got to our next class and she seemed fine. Was joking around with me. We walked to the train station with our assignment group member and she had to run to her platform as her train was a minute away leaving me and our other assignment group member. Confused.

    Seems you are on the right track now :) stay chill and cool.
  • MayDay10
    MayDay10 Posts: 11,855
    Dont know why confused.
  • Dr. Delight
    Dr. Delight Posts: 11,210
    Stop over thinking everything and let it go.
    And so you see, I have come to doubt
    All that I once held as true
    I stand alone without beliefs
    The only truth I know is you.
  • JWPearl
    JWPearl Posts: 19,893
    Thoughts_Arrive said:

    So, I sat away from her in class today, as the class ended I pretty much walked out hastily to get to my next class, somehow she caught up to me and walked past me. We then got to the lift and both got in and I said hi, she said hi what's been happening. Just a few words. Got to our next class and she seemed fine. Was joking around with me. We walked to the train station with our assignment group member and she had to run to her platform as her train was a minute away leaving me and our other assignment group member. Confused.

    just because shes friendly with you and jokes around with you doesnt mean she likes you in another way aside from acquaintance some people are just friendly you know

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