Why people feel so alone?

dimitrispearljam
dimitrispearljam Posts: 139,725
in All Encompassing Trip
its something i see every day..in social media,or in real ife..even people have family,partner,kids,pets,job,collagues,..what ever..
so many feel alone...i know way of life,technology,jobs..makes people feels pressure,life running fast...bust still ..i try to understand the phenomenon..
thoughts?
"...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
"..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
“..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
«134567…10

Comments

  • PJSiren
    PJSiren Salem, OR Posts: 5,863
    I know with suffering from depression and bipolar, even when I'm surrounded by people I can feel all alone. It has to do with people not understanding what I'm going through...or at least me thinking the don't and wouldn't. It has helped me a lot to find other's with bipolar as well to be able to relate to.

    That's just my experience...
    Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior!
    Tattooed Dissident!
  • whispering hands
    whispering hands Under your skin Posts: 13,527
    I have a HUGE sensitivity tompeoke's energy that makes me very uncomfortable, so I
    Tend to hide away to avoid it. I have to take IMMENSE amounts of medication or alcohol to be around other people. I think I tend to internalize that, and then take it personally.
    The lyric my pain is self chosen.. Describes me well.
  • The Waiting Trophy Man
    The Waiting Trophy Man Niagara region, Ontario, Canada Posts: 12,158
    "You are not alone. I am here with you." - Michael Jackson.

    Okay, bad example.
    Another habit says it's in love with you
    Another habit says its long overdue
    Another habit like an unwanted friend
    I'm so happy with my righteous self
  • jnimhaoileoin
    jnimhaoileoin Baile Átha Cliath Posts: 2,682
    I feel lonely much of the time, but that's unsurprising as I don't have many friends and have never had a partner. I'm reasonably comfortable in my own company though, so I guess that's something :)
  • PJSiren
    PJSiren Salem, OR Posts: 5,863
    The Waiting Trophy Man said:

    "You are not alone. I am here with you." - Michael Jackson.

    Okay, bad example.

    Nah...made me smile! I love MJ...he was a beautiful soul!
    Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior!
    Tattooed Dissident!
  • The Waiting Trophy Man
    The Waiting Trophy Man Niagara region, Ontario, Canada Posts: 12,158
    PJSiren said:

    The Waiting Trophy Man said:

    "You are not alone. I am here with you." - Michael Jackson.

    Okay, bad example.

    Nah...made me smile! I love MJ...he was a beautiful soul!
    No I just meant he's dead, lol. But hey, his songs live on!

    Another habit says it's in love with you
    Another habit says its long overdue
    Another habit like an unwanted friend
    I'm so happy with my righteous self
  • brianlux
    brianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 43,671
    Part of it may be lack of community. Most people naturally gravitate to community. In tribal societies, that comes naturally. In modern society we are alienated from each other by the way we live. And yet we still seek community which is why so many of us are on Facebook or on-line community sites like this one.

    I guess that explains the scenario more than the cause. Excellent question, Dimitri.
    "It's a sad and beautiful world"
    -Roberto Benigni

  • SD48277
    SD48277 Posts: 12,243
    Maybe it comes down to connection, or a feeling that we are connected to other people. You can feel alone standing in a crowd of people if you don't feel connected to anyone, or feel that no one sees you.
    jennycoyle said:

    I feel lonely much of the time, but that's unsurprising as I don't have many friends and have never had a partner. I'm reasonably comfortable in my own company though, so I guess that's something :)

    Jenny, being comfortable in your own company is HUGE. Think of all the people that can't stand to be by themselves and the things they do to distract themselves. You have a lot going for you if you can be your own best company.
    ELITIST FUK
  • jnimhaoileoin
    jnimhaoileoin Baile Átha Cliath Posts: 2,682
    SD48277 said:

    Maybe it comes down to connection, or a feeling that we are connected to other people. You can feel alone standing in a crowd of people if you don't feel connected to anyone, or feel that no one sees you.

    jennycoyle said:

    I feel lonely much of the time, but that's unsurprising as I don't have many friends and have never had a partner. I'm reasonably comfortable in my own company though, so I guess that's something :)

    Jenny, being comfortable in your own company is HUGE. Think of all the people that can't stand to be by themselves and the things they do to distract themselves. You have a lot going for you if you can be your own best company.
    I also have tv and books for company, they never piss me off :)
  • RKCNDY
    RKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    SD48277 said:

    Maybe it comes down to connection, or a feeling that we are connected to other people. You can feel alone standing in a crowd of people if you don't feel connected to anyone, or feel that no one sees you.

    jennycoyle said:

    I feel lonely much of the time, but that's unsurprising as I don't have many friends and have never had a partner. I'm reasonably comfortable in my own company though, so I guess that's something :)

    Jenny, being comfortable in your own company is HUGE. Think of all the people that can't stand to be by themselves and the things they do to distract themselves. You have a lot going for you if you can be your own best company.
    Yes, the people that constantly have to be surrounded by others thrive off attention. Kinda sad because they cease to get to know people on a deeper level, and being by themselves actually drives them nuts.
    I know many people, but don't have that 'deep emotional connection' with them all, because there are so many people out there that just don't seem to need or want that connection. I actually 'need' to be alone every few days, being around people constantly exhausts me. I used to think there was something wrong with me, but when I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, it came from being a 'highly sensitive person' (my environment growing up didn't help either). Doesn't mean I'm a wuss, it means that I can pretty much 'read' people in an instant, I can walk into a room and pick out the person who is having a shitty day even though they are laughing and smiling.

    I think the people who feel alone just feel really terrible because they are always there for others, yet no one is there for them.

    An open ear is probably the most wonderful gift a person can give another.
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • dimitrispearljam
    dimitrispearljam Posts: 139,725
    edited May 2015
    Im with company and its 1 am here,.ill post my thought at comments.tomorrow.really intresting conversation..
    only one quick comment..about lisas post
    "An open ear is probably the most wonderful gift a person can give another. "

    its really the most intresting and correct thought,idea i read this year..
    Post edited by dimitrispearljam on
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • jnimhaoileoin
    jnimhaoileoin Baile Átha Cliath Posts: 2,682
    As someone who used facebook a lot, I also see how it can make people feel really alone. You spend a lot of time reading about other people having great fun with their friends and partners, going places, getting married, having kids etc. Essentially living lives you'd give anything to be living yourself. Now I know everyone says that people present the best version of their lives on facebook, but that doesn't stop you feeling like your life is pretty pathetic in comparison
  • whispering hands
    whispering hands Under your skin Posts: 13,527
    jennycoyle said:

    As someone who used facebook a lot, I also see how it can make people feel really alone. You spend a lot of time reading about other people having great fun with their friends and partners, going places, getting married, having kids etc. Essentially living lives you'd give anything to be living yourself. Now I know everyone says that people present the best version of their lives on facebook, but that doesn't stop you feeling like your life is pretty pathetic in comparison

    Lol and then there are the people like me, that showed their WORST side on FB. Part of why I left it! So there's both sides..
  • SD48277
    SD48277 Posts: 12,243
    "Nothing is more destructive than comparison." I wish I could remember who said that, but the quote has stuck with me. It doesn't mean that I don't do it, but I try to catch myself when it happens and remind myself that my life is different. Jenny, you live in a beautiful city (a place most people are dying to visit), and have your own interests (one of which, if I recall correctly, is taking you to Paris); please don't feel your life is pathetic...it's just on a different trajectory.

    ELITIST FUK
  • whispering hands
    whispering hands Under your skin Posts: 13,527
    I have to force myself to branch out. The youth pastor of my Church just asked me to consider going on a short 10 day Inner City missions group for kids living in the inner city of NYC. I'm seriously considering going., I need to make myself available to people. That's part of my problem, I'm terrified of being in that setting..
  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    Smart chick up there, jenny. Heed her wisdom - and your own instinct. From what I've seen and read from you, good head on those shoulders.

    (sidenote, to anyone who FEELS alone - know you're not, ever. I'm in awe of the spirit and strength shown not just here but through other means. Never underestimate your effect on others)
  • brianlux
    brianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 43,671
    Loneliness can be the cruelest feeling in the world but there are times when I share Henry Rollins sentiment here:

    "Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better."

    There have also been times when I can relate to this:

    “Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.”
    Maya Angelou
    "It's a sad and beautiful world"
    -Roberto Benigni

  • jnimhaoileoin
    jnimhaoileoin Baile Átha Cliath Posts: 2,682
    SD48277 said:

    "Nothing is more destructive than comparison." I wish I could remember who said that, but the quote has stuck with me. It doesn't mean that I don't do it, but I try to catch myself when it happens and remind myself that my life is different. Jenny, you live in a beautiful city (a place most people are dying to visit), and have your own interests (one of which, if I recall correctly, is taking you to Paris); please don't feel your life is pathetic...it's just on a different trajectory.

    Thank you for your kind thoughts :) I know I'm my own worst enemy when I constantly compare myself to others, hard habit to break! I am so grateful to be from such an amazing country though and you're right in saying that I should take more time to be grateful for what I do have rather than constantly regretting what I don't. Hedonist I have a good enough head on me to identify my faults and faulty thinking patterns, I just can't seem to rewire myself to fix the problem ;)
  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    edited May 2015
    Yep that's me.
    I am single, never had a partner and have one friend and there are times we don't see each other for long periods of time but always stay in touch online. Makes me feel lonely and scared if I were to lose that friendship I'd be a loner.
    Saturday nights at home are the worst. Since starting taking antidepressants for my anxiety and depression I am coping better with my situation and not thinking of suicide as much as I used to.

    Facebook is terrible in that I see everyone having a great night out, getting married etc and makes me feel shit about my situation.
    I had more "friends" years ago but they proved themselves to not be true friends.

    My shrink kept pushing me to join social groups but I can't do it. Too shy and just don't trust people having been hurt and let down many times in the past. It is hard to find a true friend that deeply cares for you.

    My comfort is in listening to music and writing music.
    Post edited by Thoughts_Arrive on
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • jnimhaoileoin
    jnimhaoileoin Baile Átha Cliath Posts: 2,682
    I think it's certainly important to have a friend who you feel you can tell anything, even if you don't consider yourself to be that close to them and even if you don't speak to them all that often. I would say I have no close friends but there is probably someone who I would feel safe in telling nearly anything, so it's something of a safety net I guess

Categories