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  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    she closed the door behind her as he smiled at her entrance. she managed a weary smile in return.

    so why am i here?

    he held her gave and sighed.

    i want you here

    and what about what i want?

    and what is it you want?

    she crossed the room to the bed in 3 tentative steps. reaching out she took his hand in hers and perchd herself on the white linen.

    i dont want to share you... thats what i want

    he opened his mouth to say something, but the look on her face silenced him.

    this situation isnt new to me. but that doesnt mean i can handle it any better. and im not prepared to do it again, so you need to sort yourself out or lose my number cause it doesnt matter how i feel about you i will walk away if you cant give me what i need.

    shed swear she could see his brain ticking over. his brow was furrowed and his eyes had that far away look he got when he was thinking of her.

    and i need to know that you need me in your life... that im not just there for distraction

    are you kidding me? ive been right with you since that first night.

    but not wholly. there was distance there.. i could feel it.

    sure i was weary. considering what youd just been through do you blame me? was i suppose to scoop you up in my arms and deliver you from all the badnes? is that what you wanted from me?

    i want you to help me forget. i tried to do it alone but i cant. i want someone i love to help me

    she couldnt suppress the smile forming on her lips. and answering the question before she spoke it he reached out touching her face with his fingers.

    i do love you. i ahve since i left.. well before i left

    and thats why you left?

    he nodded.

    youre an idiot you know that?

    yeah i know it

    she stood up and walked over to the window. the sky had closed in and she could see the threat of rain. she hoped it would rain. he watched her waiting for an answer, though he hadnt asked a question, not specifically anyway. after a few minutes she turned to face him.

    i want you to move to LA. if we have any chance we need to be in the same city

    can you wait til i get discharged?
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • donnaruhl
    donnaruhl Posts: 2,157
    catefrances wrote:
    his voice scratches as he sings
    stretched across his broken heart
    something goin' on inside
    but they all dont see it
    his deep sad is what they like
    yeah they see that alright

    falling down trying to get up
    he takes his leave
    through the back door
    heavy metal in his hand

    seen from behind walking
    his head down, his mind dark
    rests a while, his back against a decaying fence
    life comes down to moments they say
    and this is one of them
    his body expels a heavy sigh
    as a dark night descends upon his soul


    Damn!That's good. :thumbup: :clap:
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    donnaruhl wrote:
    catefrances wrote:
    his voice scratches as he sings
    stretched across his broken heart
    something goin' on inside
    but they all dont see it
    his deep sad is what they like
    yeah they see that alright

    falling down trying to get up
    he takes his leave
    through the back door
    heavy metal in his hand

    seen from behind walking
    his head down, his mind dark
    rests a while, his back against a decaying fence
    life comes down to moments they say
    and this is one of them
    his body expels a heavy sigh
    as a dark night descends upon his soul


    Damn!That's good. :thumbup: :clap:

    thank you.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    it had been several months since he had made the move and still he was like a visitor in her home. she tried not to watch him and when the silences got too heavy she instinctly reached out and laid her hand against his skin. he would always smile and draw her into his arms. and for a while theyd stay entangled until more often than not hed doze off. in the beginning hed wake up with a start and once managed to split her lip with his bony elbow. the level of remorse he showed at hurting her made her heart ache. it was as if it was the worst thing he could ever do to her. and she knew that wasnt true. it was just an accident she reassured him. for a time after that incident hed been more attentive to her yet a bit more cautious as well and more than once she wished hed split her lip more often, accidently of course if the result was an overwhelming guilt that semi shocked him into being more alive. yet even with his melancholia his presence in the house gave her peace.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    edited April 2013
    what would you do if i reached out and held
    your life in my hands as you do mine
    what would you do if i squeezed oh so gently
    til the life that you knew turned to dust
    what would you do if your strength was your weakness
    and i used it so i could survive
    what would you do if i buried you quietly
    in a grave of your own ineptitude
    Post edited by catefrances on
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • donnaruhl
    donnaruhl Posts: 2,157
    catefrances wrote:
    what would you do if i reached and held
    your life in my hands as you do mine
    what would you do if i squeezed oh so gently
    til the life that you knew turned to dust
    what would you do if your strength was your weakness
    and i used it so i could survive
    what would you do if i buried you quietly
    in a grave of your own ineptitude

    I can relate.
    Someone has done that to me.
    And I am no longer myself.The
    life has just been sucked out,
    until numbness is all I feel.
  • brianlux
    brianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 43,652
    Catefrances, you're on a roll. Nice!
    "It's a sad and beautiful world"
    -Roberto Benigni











  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    she gathers it up
    and buries it all deep beneath her skin
    she forces it down
    and chokes on it all desperate to fit in
    at night she screams
    and marks herself; too far gone to find relief
    she looks from heights
    and at quantities and wonders how quietly it could all end
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    you are out of your mind she said... he just smiled stepping back into nothingness, his arms raised in mimed crucifixion. he disappeared from view and she rushed to the railing. she saw him splash into the river and she saw him sink under the water. and she waited....
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • chadwick
    chadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    catefrances wrote:
    you are out of your mind she said... he just smiled stepping back into nothingness, his arms raised in mimed crucifixion. he disappeared from view and she rushed to the railing. she saw him splash into the river and she saw him sink under the water. and she waited....
    so huge & few lines
    gifted catefrances
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    chadwick wrote:
    catefrances wrote:
    you are out of your mind she said... he just smiled stepping back into nothingness, his arms raised in mimed crucifixion. he disappeared from view and she rushed to the railing. she saw him splash into the river and she saw him sink under the water. and she waited....
    so huge & few lines
    gifted catefrances


    a convo im having with a friend atm inspired these lines. 8-)
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • chadwick
    chadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    catefrances wrote:
    chadwick wrote:
    catefrances wrote:
    you are out of your mind she said... he just smiled stepping back into nothingness, his arms raised in mimed crucifixion. he disappeared from view and she rushed to the railing. she saw him splash into the river and she saw him sink under the water. and she waited....
    so huge & few lines
    gifted catefrances


    a convo im having with a friend atm inspired these lines. 8-)
    well it worked... as always
    many times you leave me (and others) speechless
    you're a writer, catefrances
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    he surfaced with the biggest grin on his face. he called to her then kicked his legs out so that he floated. the current was slow and she watched as he stroked backwards with a long languid motion. she called back, youre still crazy... but she laughed and clapped. and then picking up the bag hed dropped at her feet, she ran down to the riverbank to meet him.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    shes said enough
    its time to go
    to slip back into herself
    she likes it there
    its dark and safe
    its where she thinks shes in control
    but she knows as time slides past
    her thoughts become lies
    and that's when youll see her again
    standing on a cliff screaming into the wind
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    she listens to new music and wishes he was here, if only for a short time. its his music and she will always associate it with him. she smiles at a memory she thought long dead. she knows hed love it, just as she cant get enough of it. pop those headphones over her ears, hit repeat and she disappears into a present past that should remain gone forever. she swore shed never look back but this one indulgence today while his music wrapped itself around her brain she'll allow. and then she'll turn her attention back to another and smile for what she has now.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    he said stay with me...
    she said I cant.
    he held his hand out anyway.
    she lowered her head and turned away.
    there was nothing else that she could say.
    he stepped towards her.
    she stopped and turned...
    told him to leave her be.
    and so he let her walk away
    wondering what went wrong
    yet knowing letting her in
    was probably his one mistake.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    the smile on her face says it all....
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    she wanders through her hometown
    a landscape she once knew
    but now cant seem to place
    nothing looks the same
    nothing is right
    and all her old hangouts are boarded up and vacant
    the absence haunts her like ghosts unseen
    but somehow felt too close
    the old footbridge is missing some planks
    the gaps big enough for her to disappear through
    ...and she thinks about it.
    she remembers long hot summers when the world was theirs
    and the plans he made spun her dizzy
    she smiles at the memory
    cause that all he is now...
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    dancing with myself again
    I don't know where I begin
    or where I end
    thought I knew
    but then I lost my way
    im dancing by myself today
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    she opens her eyes as the sun peaks over the roofs
    her eyeballs ache and she wonders of its from not enough sleep
    or cause she went to sleep crying
    throwing her legs over the side of the bed she leans forward
    resting her elbows on her legs she glances behind her
    his form still dead to the world, oblivious
    she hears a bird in the distance
    and wishes she could fly

    making her way down the hall pulling her robe over her bare shoulders
    she almost trips over the cat
    she swears and lashes out with her foot, the tabby is too quick
    it walks away from her disappearing around a corner
    she pees with the door open, a habit hes force upon her
    she reaches out for some paper and sighs
    once again he hasn't replaced the empty roll
    not my fucking job he told her last time she brought it up
    well what is your fucking job she asked
    he answered her with a backhander that left her sprawling on the floor
    ever the gentleman he helped her up...
    ... when she pulled away she left a chunk of hair in his fist.

    itd be so easy to leave she tells herself
    but goes nowhere
    she hears him call her name
    tired she kicks the door shut hoping itll save her from whats to come
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say

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