when i...

catefrances

standing at the kitchen sink, her gloved arms halfway to the elbow deep in suds, the perfume of jasmine wafts through the open window. its a clear blue late winters day... almost spring. the warmth envelopes her and she knows this is the turn of the seasons. the days are longer, the sun brighter, her mood lifting. she cant wait to be out there amongst it. documenting what catches her eye. watching the toddlermonster as she nears her first day of school. in a few weeks itll be 5 years since she arrived and the pleasure of watching this little person grow is endless. she has spirit and spunk and the words to express everything around her in her child wonder. everything is rainbows and polarbears and unicorns. her boundless enthusiasm for the life around her sometimes has her lost for the words to express the thoughts crowding her little head. she wants to be heard. she wants to be seen. she wants to sing and to dance and be given and to give squeezy hugs. her name is piper and she is my grand daughter.

rollings

catefrances wrote:

.......a dagger
against my skin...
... and i cant breathe

holy

I know that feeling,
that is the description of it

and your descrition of your granddaughter (never'd've thunk it )
was very fun to read
piper is an awesome name I think. never heard of it before

tremors

catefrances wrote:

standing at the kitchen sink, her gloved arms halfway to the elbow deep in suds, the perfume of jasmine wafts through the open window. its a clear blue late winters day... almost spring. the warmth envelopes her and she knows this is the turn of the seasons. the days are longer, the sun brighter, her mood lifting. she cant wait to be out there amongst it. documenting what catches her eye. watching the toddlermonster as she nears her first day of school. in a few weeks itll be 5 years since she arrived and the pleasure of watching this little person grow is endless. she has spirit and spunk and the words to express everything around her in her child wonder. everything is rainbows and polarbears and unicorns. her boundless enthusiasm for the life around her sometimes has her lost for the words to express the thoughts crowding her little head. she wants to be heard. she wants to be seen. she wants to sing and to dance and be given and to give squeezy hugs. her name is piper and she is my grand daughter.

wonderful most moving writing

catefrances

thanx dang. thanx tremors.

justam

catefrances wrote:

standing at the kitchen sink, her gloved arms halfway to the elbow deep in suds, the perfume of jasmine wafts through the open window. its a clear blue late winters day... almost spring. the warmth envelopes her and she knows this is the turn of the seasons. the days are longer, the sun brighter, her mood lifting. she cant wait to be out there amongst it. documenting what catches her eye. watching the toddlermonster as she nears her first day of school. in a few weeks itll be 5 years since she arrived and the pleasure of watching this little person grow is endless. she has spirit and spunk and the words to express everything around her in her child wonder. everything is rainbows and polarbears and unicorns. her boundless enthusiasm for the life around her sometimes has her lost for the words to express the thoughts crowding her little head. she wants to be heard. she wants to be seen. she wants to sing and to dance and be given and to give squeezy hugs. her name is piper and she is my grand daughter.

:thumbup:

catefrances

i hate that youre inside my head
i hate that youre not here
i hate that i feel what i do
i hate the need to distract me with others
i hate a desire so strong
i hate all the anger built up
i hate that i hate all of the above

catefrances

when he asked she said
its what she always did
looking him straight in the eye
with not so much as a twitch
or hesitation to question

when she asked he said
its as he expected
getting to know her as he was
sometimes he forgot
but then she smiled
and he knew it was beyond her

deception was a weakness
but it wasnt her weakness

he had to admit
sometimes her truth made it difficult
but again...
that was his weakness,
not hers.

catefrances

i can always tell
when its time for bed
my thoughts wander to you
and ive run out of booze
to drown the noise
but just cause its time for bed
doesnt mean ill be getting any sleep

catefrances

i need to go home
to find out if
what im feeling is real
or if its just
the distance weighing
heavy on me.

catefrances

he watches them from a distance
the easy laughter and gentle touches
the way she looks when theyre together
this is the one, she tells him all the time
but when she is alone he knows
what she refuses to admit to herself

the wind glues her dress against her body
and breath he does not have catches in his throat
her hair out of control as she fights to regain it
the man reaches out drawing her close
brushes the hair from her face
kisses her lips and speaks

he knows what is being said
and she never wants to hear it
she clings to the man willing him to stay
he cant he tells her, she knows better
tears fill her eyes and she loses her strength

he sighs a slight smile
he knows the man has faults, but
just like she says, he is the one
and she will never let go of that
even when she lets him go

he looks up at the sky
it grows darker and the clouds close in
the first drops see him indoors
and just like her, he will wait.

chadwick

you are a gift, cate
i am grateful that you are who you are and share your poetry with us. i also enjoy your works outside these poetic walls here in the creative writing area.

be well.

catefrances

thanks chad.. i havent been feeling much like writing lately.. but i think the time has come to push past the mental lethargy. i need to be more disciplined.. and thats not really my thing.

justam

We like to read what you put up cate. Does that help? :geek:

catefrances

justam wrote:

We like to read what you put up cate. Does that help? :geek:

no... its an internal thing. and thank you.

catefrances

so.. did she trash talk me to you as well????
cause im kinda wondering
how far the deceit goes
did she tell you im not to be trusted?
that im a bit of whore and kind of a bitch?
that i did things of which she didnt approve?
did she laugh at my expense?
did it all sound right to you?
did you think she told the truth?
as she boosted your ego tell me..
.. did she trash talk me to you too?

catefrances

she hides in the chapel
the sacred place for her fears
down on her knees
her head in her hands
she mouths the words
that only she can hear

she feels her strength seep
into the floor of cold stone
the lies in her head
the scars within and without
she mouths the words
to promises that keep her alone

she sighs when shes done
puts her forehead to her knees
a smile forms on her lips
the realisation hardens her soul
that when she walks into the light
her first flight will be her release

catefrances

i see you around
and i wonder.
i keep my hands
in my pockets
so i dont reach out
but i smile and still
cant help but wonder...
what if youd stayed closer
than just around?

catefrances

do you say what you mean when you mean to say it
or do you keep it bottled up tight inside?

do you stand to the side and watch as love walks right by you
or do you step in its path so it sighs?

do you squeeze his hand just that little much tighter so he remembers youre beside him
or do you allow him the room to take flight?

do you smile in your sleep at the dreams that youre having
or do you hope just to wake in the morn?

did you tell her you loved her with all the pride you could muster
or was the tone of her voice enough to keep you quiet?

do you still listen to her music hoping thats where youll find her
or do you now know she wont ever be found?

do you think of them so often it feels like yours inside are being eaten
or are you too full on your life now to take a bite?

catefrances

sometimes i think ive gone insane the way people come to me as if their slate is clean. have you thought about what youve done? did i somehow express that betrayal was okay by me? ive not heard from you in who the fuck knows how long and somehow im suppose to make room for you? i do want to be okay with me and that means you cant be in my life. i cant pretend what you did didnt hurt. i cant pretend he meant nothing to me. i told you what he meant to me.... i told you everything i felt.. nothing has changed. he is deep inside me.... yet absent. so now id appreciate it if you backed the fuck off cause i dont want to deal with you

catefrances

she captures his soul with every breath... every move she makes stops him... every touch energises him
she smiles and he sighs... his perfect world on this perfect day... every day. then she lies and tells him shell always be by his side.. that she wont ever leave him... he believes it all... in total ignorance he wraps himself in her.. she reaches out to another and starts to weave... and starts to believe the lies....

catefrances

the sun sets pink between the tall trees
a cockatoo calls solo into the waning day
he sits, an ankle resting on his knee, his baby daughter sleeping unaware,
with the gentle rocking and the warm heartbeat of her father.
he watches as she turns the soil tending plants, each keeping the other alive
for now, and he waits for her to come back from further than the field she tends...
...and hopes that she will.

justam

This ^^^ is a sweet picture cate.

catefrances

justam wrote:

This ^^^ is a sweet picture cate.

thank you.

that one came to me while i was walking home from the shops yesterday and as i walked i kept repeating the lines so i wouldnt forget them.. when i walked through the front door i dumped the groceries and told the kids to shush cause i had some words in my head i had to get out... then they could talk to me. i was thinking it maybe part of something bigger but im not sure now.

justam

I could certainly see it as something bigger.

It seems warm with orange light on their skin to me. Tropical. With dark brown dirt!

catefrances

justam wrote:

I could certainly see it as something bigger.

It seems warm with orange light on their skin to me. Tropical. With dark brown dirt!

maybe sub tropical... and the dirt is red.

catefrances

do you ever stop and wonder whats inside my head?
do you ever think what if our thoughts match
do you ever think to reach out, then stop not wanting to look the fool?
do you ever feel the silence in between is just too much to bear?

or do you just sit there quietly and wish i wasnt there?

catefrances

she stood on the bank above the river her brow furrowed her face a quizzical mask. her shoulder barely touching his. is that it? she asked. yeah. what were you expecting? something more. i thought itd be bigger.. more majestic somehow. he sighed. thats your problem girl, you always expect something more. why shouldnt i? cause its not how it works. well it should. its just a river you know. hmm thought wed gotten on to something else there he kept his mouth shut. she was expert at getting him to talk about stuff at times he didnt want to. and he didnt want to do so now.

catefrances

in my shoes i hate to be
id rather be in my bare feet

id rather not hear your voice
or see the light of another dawn

id rather someone kill me now
than wait and wonder where and how

make it quick sneak up from behind
such joyful silence will then be mine

catefrances

they came to see her smile... they shouldntve wasted their time. she stood there waiting... watching from behind tired eyes. she had nothing to say and clearly they didnt either. they stood there waiting... and waiting.. they talked quietly amongst themselves and didnt notice that when one of them yawned she smiled.

catefrances

his voice scratches as he sings
stretched across his broken heart
something goin' on inside
but they all dont see it
his deep sad is what they like
yeah they see that alright

falling down trying to get up
he takes his leave
through the back door
heavy metal in his hand

seen from behind walking
his head down, his mind dark
rests a while, his back against a decaying fence
life comes down to moments they say
and this is one of them
his body expels a heavy sigh
as a dark night descends upon his soul