when i...

acrossssSsssshittt

catefrances wrote:

she sighed upon the sea

...

and finds herself alone

feels like home

catefrances

tremors wrote:

The writing in this thread is so good it is actually hard to digest without me getting overly churned up. I had to dip in to three or four pieces. Will have to come back to more when feeling stronger. Thanks for sharing this with us. Sincerely.

thanks.

catefrances

coming home to an empty house
i feel the tremors bouncing off the walls
the words that all turned to lies
the calm left by your deceit
that leaves me sad
not for me but for
the person you turned out to be
not once did i ever doubt
back then anything you had to say
and had you not done it again
id still be none the wiser
but they say habits are hard to break
and i guess betrayal is your bad habit
for you to share
the empty spaces filled with music
loud enough to drown you out
is my release and knowing
the aloneness i momentarily feel
will cover you til your old age

catefrances

every where i walk
i still see you...
...feel you by my side
the thought of you
sneaks by my defenses
makes me sad and happy
at the same time
cant understand...
... probably wont ever...
...why you went away
but when i stop and think
i hold you closer
than my own heartbeat
where ever i walk
youre there by my left side
always shadowing me

catefrances

she didnt know why she stayed. but she did. when he could, they walked... always side by side never touching. he spoke. and she listened. he faltered more than once both in his step and what he had to say. she was quiet and over time learnt by his breath when to speak. he absorbed her and she liked it. as the weeks wore on they walked further and he got stronger. to her it was if every word he spoke energised him. and she was always there. when she found him sitting alone in the dark in a silence deafening to even the loudest heartbeat she took his hand. he looked at her, stood up and with the barest space between them swore hed never let her go.

catefrances

i see you there
standing silent
wrapping yourself in
your darkness a security blanket
to keep you safe
from harm

i step a little closer
and you dont
seem to mind
a smile a touch
you come alive learning
again to trust

i know
what i want
i can bide my time
til that touch becomes
your word...
... and your word becomes
what you want
and what you want
is us.

catefrances

we are all graffiti artists. we carve our names into the school desk. we scrawl the name of our favourite band on our pencil case in blue ink. we spend idle moments in school seeing how our name goes with the boy we like's surname. we doodle. we draw fake tattoos on our skin. we take down messages on scraps of paper. leave notes for loved ones on post its on the fridge... sometimes lost among the family photos, works of treasured child art and magnets from places weve visited. everytime we lift a pen or a pencil we become graffiti artists. and every time we should revel in us as creator cause graffiti is art. and art is good.

PilateOfTheStorm

catefrances wrote:

we are all graffiti artists. we carve our names into the school desk. we scrawl the name of our favourite band on our pencil case in blue ink. we spend idle moments in school seeing how our name goes with the boy we like's surname. we doodle. we draw fake tattoos on our skin. we take down messages on scraps of paper. leave notes for loved ones on post its on the fridge... sometimes lost among the family photos, works of treasured child art and magnets from places weve visited. everytime we lift a pen or a pencil we become graffiti artists. and every time we should revel in us as creator cause graffiti is art. and art is good.

lovely


this thread is great, only just read it i must admit
have yet to read all of it, but from what i've already seen,you write beautifully.

catefrances

you raped me with your pretty words
and left me out to dry
every time i found myself spent
did all i could not to cry
i often wonder what it took
for you to behave the way you did
but we must be cut from very different cloth
cause i never could prise off the lid
of the jar of worms that pumped the blood
through a decaying mind
that thought it was just peachy keen
to drown me deep within the brine

sometimes when im weak
and my own mind starts to think
i remember where you are
and see its not with me
and i allow that to make me strong
and build upon the dead
words you left hanging high
of promises unkept.

tremors

electricxlovex wrote:

catefrances wrote:

we are all graffiti artists. we carve our names into the school desk. we scrawl the name of our favourite band on our pencil case in blue ink. we spend idle moments in school seeing how our name goes with the boy we like's surname. we doodle. we draw fake tattoos on our skin. we take down messages on scraps of paper. leave notes for loved ones on post its on the fridge... sometimes lost among the family photos, works of treasured child art and magnets from places weve visited. everytime we lift a pen or a pencil we become graffiti artists. and every time we should revel in us as creator cause graffiti is art. and art is good.

lovely


this thread is great, only just read it i must admit
have yet to read all of it, but from what i've already seen,you write beautifully.

Cate's writing is so good it is actually frightening. I have to steel myself before I read this stuff. But I can't help myself

catefrances

remember that picture of your hometown. .. the one you gave me when you sent me the shirt.. red with black wirting? i put it on my fridge door.. so every day i see it. and every day it reminds me of you. some days just your name pops into my head.. just that simple one syllable. other days i wonder where you are..how youre doing... what happened to make you disappear from my life. i sometimes think of reaching out like i did around new years.. but then i tell myself no.. it no longer matters. i remember mentioning a book i was reading at one time and telling you i wanted to share it with you. i guess by the time i got to the end of it, our friendship was at its end too. last week i thought of just sending it to you with a short note. the book sits on my shelf awaiting a decision that will be answered only with time passing. i know its not just my ego telling me you cant simply have grown bored of me. i look back and see that everything was fine between us. so your absence makes no sense. well... it didnt for the longest time. but now ive been made aware of other factors. that other people can smile to your face whilst twisting a knife deep through your spine. and i have to wonder if this is why you left the way you did. was it sticks and stones... where words can and do hurt? was the poison dripped into your ear, one drop at a time? was my friendship so easily discarded? there are questions i know i wont ever get the answers to.. and after all this time it no longer matters. but that doesnt stop me from wondering every time i open my fridge door.

catefrances

little by little
it all falls apart
i reach out to catch it
but it just all drifts past

i dont know how it got to this point
but i know when it started
you were my whole heart

then

little by little
it all fell apart
falling in crumbs
like a hot cross bun

i dont know why you didnt reach out
maybe you did
and i wasnt seeing it straight

but

little by little
it came down to this
you fell at my feet
trying to find your bliss

catefrances

she came to me at night
and whispered in my ear
told me everything i was
and all she had to give

she only came at night
and when i woke shed be gone
clarity came to me slowly
all she had to give were lies

although i dodged a bullet
she winged me pretty good
and in my head her sweet smile
has now become the most vicious bite

g under p

Just read through your thread CF, that's some amazing words keep it going lady.

Peace

catefrances

thank you.

ShimmyMommy

catefrances wrote:

come before me
so i can stand behind you
and hold you up
when you fall
the air you breathe is my life force
the blood that flows
my river of life
give to me
what you receive
draw strength from what is given you
and just remember
where it comes from
and choose wisely
to keep us alive

Incredible :thumbup: all your writing is incredible

catefrances

ShimmyMommy wrote:

catefrances wrote:

come before me
so i can stand behind you
and hold you up
when you fall
the air you breathe is my life force
the blood that flows
my river of life
give to me
what you receive
draw strength from what is given you
and just remember
where it comes from
and choose wisely
to keep us alive

Incredible :thumbup: all your writing is incredible

thank you.

catefrances

she swims among the ocean breeze
shes drifting out to sea
she stops and thinks
then wonders why
what she feels just can not be
she closes her eyes
throws back her head
and breathes so deep it hurts
yet when she surfaces from the depths
she knows
her lifeforce is what will kill her first

justam

^^^ That one has a good picture in it.

catefrances

i heard his voice
behind me
accusatory
buried deep in my book
i thought he was alone

something had happened
they sat apart

i dont love you
she said when he asked
his reply was lost
as i felt the air leave the carriage

i didnt want to listen
but i did
i couldnt help it

they were right there
face to face
his hand wanting to touch her
her attitude daring him to
but warning him against it

the train stopped
he stood up
beckoned her to follow

she did

i saw their legs on the platform
and breathed again.

catefrances

i hate what ive become
When i see what it is i am
When i feel your shadow
Darkening my heart
Turning it black with hardening blood
There was a time when you were all i saw
Til i couldnt even see myself
And now that youve gone seemingly for good
I hate what ive become
Lost...
... Without my dream

ShimmyMommy

catefrances wrote:

i hate what ive become
When i see what it is i am
When i feel your shadow
Darkening my heart
Turning it black with hardening blood
There was a time when you were all i saw
Til i couldnt even see myself
And now that youve gone seemingly for good
I hate what ive become
Lost...
... Without my dream

catefrances

i want you to tell me why i feel this way
why i cant let what i feel for you go
i want you to tell me why youre not with me
why it isnt you i feel when i sleep at night
i want you to tell me i meant nothing
to you; that all i felt was delusion on my part
i want you to tell me why every man i sleep with
is just filling a space where youre not
and i want you to tell me those years
where i gave you more creedence
than ive ever given any man
were a waste of my time
and that all i thought of you
was just a waste of my time

ShimmyMommy

catefrances wrote:

i want you to tell me why i feel this way
why i cant let what i feel for you go
i want you to tell me why youre not with me
why it isnt you i feel when i sleep at night
i want you to tell me i meant nothing
to you; that all i felt was delusion on my part
i want you to tell me why every man i sleep with
is just filling a space where youre not
and i want you to tell me those years
where i gave you more creedence
than ive ever given any man
were a waste of my time
and that all i thought of you
was just a waste of my time

that's awesome, thank you for posting

catefrances

last night she got so drunk she almost did the unthinkable. she composed... she thought.. but she thought better of it. she knew itd do no good... that she was only venting cause she needed to. but she knew it would serve no purpose that would do any good.. not for her. but you know she got in these moods where thoughts of him overwhelmed her. and these past years shed learnt it didnt matter.. nothing she thought or said mattered.......... and so she took a breath and walked away... shut everything down... laying her head upon a pillow thatd seen better days and wishing sleep to come quickly.

catefrances

im crying tears i never thought i would
thunder rolls across the sky
it envelopes me
as i lay my head upon the strength that you profess

every word said i took as truth
i stood by your side as if...
... well as if all you spoke
was the cornerstone of my belief

and here i stand alone
cause i learnt the truth you spoke was
just lies to build yourself upon

im crying tears i never thought i would
and the rain that falls
waters the resolve i build my future on

catefrances

the christmas light still hang limply
casting rainbow spots through the muslin
a stray strand of tinsel rests on bare floorboards
forgotten and ignored
she has no time nor the strength to remove it
besides its not hurting anybody so
why not leave it be to do its own thing

it is may and he has been gone since new years
he didnt say he was leaving
he left...
... as if only to get a packet of smokes
but he never came back
for all she knows he could be dead
and sometimes she wishes he is
its the only thing that makes sense of his absence
his clothes lay folded in the drawers
his jacket hangs on the hook
muddy boots rest on the back porch
and his scent still hangs in the air
though it is getting less so
sometimes shell open a drawer and the smell of him will overwhelm her
sometimes she thinks if she packs all his stuff up that will force his hand
hell have to come home to prove her suspicions wrong
but instead...
she goes about her business changing nothing
just in case....

justam

Cate, I love this one!

catefrances

gracias.


the seed was planted for that one a few days ago when i heard a song on the radio. i cant remember song it was but when it started the image of neglected xmas lights came into my head.... oh and the song wasnt even about xmas lights or anything.

catefrances

its you, you know
it always has been
your absence holds a dagger
against my skin...
... and i cant breathe
i long for your presence
so much it aches
and admitting that truth
makes me a liar to myself
... to my lover
but not to what i feel right now
... and all i ever will.