Drunk stories...

DS1119 wrote:

Ok...so another one. Visiting a buddy of mine in college. We get good and loaded in town and are heading back. We get to the dorms and he points out a jeep that is driven by someone he isn't too fond of. Here's the thing. This was like 93 or 94 and the jeep was an old mail truck jeep. You know the small ones...steering wheel on the right hand side...little tin can shit boxes. We tip the fucker on its side and then roll it over onto the roof. Being this is the Cornell campus it's very hilly...we then push the bastard and it slides probably 300-400 feet down the hill and hits a fence. Go to bed. Next day we see the jeep driving through campus...fucked roof and all. Built in the USA baby!!

Cav probably fixed it!!

This thread is hilarious, DS1119!

DS1119 wrote:

ShimmyMommy wrote:

DS1119 wrote:

Ok...so another one. Visiting a buddy of mine in college. We get good and loaded in town and are heading back. We get to the dorms and he points out a jeep that is driven by someone he isn't too fond of. Here's the thing. This was like 93 or 94 and the jeep was an old mail truck jeep. You know the small ones...steering wheel on the right hand side...little tin can shit boxes. We tip the fucker on its side and then roll it over onto the roof. Being this is the Cornell campus it's very hilly...we then push the bastard and it slides probably 300-400 feet down the hill and hits a fence. Go to bed. Next day we see the jeep driving through campus...fucked roof and all. Built in the USA baby!!

Cav probably fixed it!!

This thread is hilarious, DS1119!

It's hilarious because everyone has drunk stories and they are all awesome!!! Like I said earlier in the thread...the only thing better than telling drunk stories is sitting around with your friends drinking and telling drunk stories!!! :thumbup:

:shh: I like be in the one who's the last one awake!!! :shifty:

DS1119 wrote:

ShimmyMommy wrote:

:shh: I like be in the one who's the last one awake!!! :shifty:

I have so many of these stories. Each night I remember another one. I'm trying to recall a recent one.

Do not try....recall, or do not recall...

oona left wrote:

It's not really a "story," but I once get cut off at Wrigley.

At Wrigley! No one gets cut off there!

Needless to say, I was livid.

Ah....reminds me of the time I got cut off at a place where no one gets cut off at.

I was at First Avenue in Minneapolis at a Stereolab concert. I think I was well and truly drunk before they even took the stage!! Anyway, a few things that I do remember. One, I went outside to have a smoke, there I was minding my own business and then this chick looks at me and like starts shaking her head no, or like go away. No idea what I was doing to cause that reaction, although I do remember thinking to myself 'yeah, in your dreams fugly'

Anyway, I find myself back inside and I'm down by the pinball machines. Now, again, I don't remember what I did, but a bouncer came up to me and took my drink away. I ended up giving the guy a hug and being all like 'ah man, its ok, its ok' The only thing I can think of that I did to draw their attention, is that I might have tried to sit on the pinball machine or something. Not really clear on that.

So I end up finding my friends and we proceed to rock out and then head home. On the way back to the car as we are smoking some dude comes up and asks for a smoke. I happily give him one, and then according to my friends I call the dude an asshole for taking a smoke. He just gave me a strange look and was on his way.

We get back to the store we all worked at and have some smokes in the back roof access room. Its got pipes and electrical stuff in there. I then for some reason decide it would be a good idea to start banging my head against the metal thingie behind me. Don't really remember this one either, but so it is. At this point, it is obvious I'm not driving home, so they give me a lift the 2 miles back to my parents place.

After they leave I go outside to once again have a smoke. And then I get it into my head that you know what??? I don't want to walk to work tomorrow morning, screw this!! I'm getting my car. I can't imagine what I looked like walking/jogging the 2 miles back to work to get my car. Needless to say, I'm sure it was a lot of stumbling and me laughing at myself and saying 'I'm so drunk'. Now, I'd like to say that the fresh cool night air sobered me up on the way to my car. And I'd also like to think that I had it in my head that I would be sober by the time I got back to my car. Well....I wasn't.

So here is the part where I say 'Now kids, don't you drink and drive, its bad mmmkay?' And no, I'm not proud of it, but I'm not going to lie and say this was the last or the first time I did. Anyway, so here I am, back at my car thinking damnit, I made it all the way here, still not sober.......so what do I do??? Proceed to throw garbage out the window while driving my car back home. Mind you the road I was on took you over an interstate, and on the other side was a fire station, and plenty of times cops would either be sitting on the on-ramp, or at the fire station. Again, I'd like to think I looked before I started throwing stuff, but I probably didn't.

Made it home in one piece, made it to work the next day, and when my co-worker asked why my car was in a different spot from last night, well, we had a laugh and he called me a dumbass.

Years ago I was playing poker with my then girlfreind (my fiance now, why i'll never know) her sister and brother, at there house. So there we were the four of playing cards and drinking heavily,and I was absolutely HAMMERED. Now mind you this was at the very beginning of our relationship and I may have only met her family one or twice before this so I was fairly "new" at the time. For some strange reason it got into my head that it would be absolutely hysterical for me to excuse myself to the bathroom, sneak into the kitchen and take a bucket from under the sink, fill it with water, come back into the room and procede to drench everyone at the table. You know the ol' it seemed like a good idea at the time thing....Anyway, even though it was at least ten years ago I can still remember the exact look on her brothers face when he realized what was about to go down. As I let loose with the bucket, the water seemed to hang in mid-air for what seemed an eternity as I was hit with the realization that this idea might not be as funny as I had originally thought. He then got hit with what seemed like a wall of water and the whole entire mood of the night took a horrible turn.I just stood there with the stupidest face a human being can have in the middle of a now empty, drenched dining room, holding an empty bucket, along with a huge bag of guilt....Bottoms Up!!!

DS1119 wrote:

MAS wrote:

Years ago I was playing poker with my then girlfreind (my fiance now, why i'll never know) her sister and brother, at there house. So there we were the four of playing cards and drinking heavily,and I was absolutely HAMMERED. Now mind you this was at the very beginning of our relationship and I may have only met her family one or twice before this so I was fairly "new" at the time. For some strange reason it got into my head that it would be absolutely hysterical for me to excuse myself to the bathroom, sneak into the kitchen and take a bucket from under the sink, fill it with water, come back into the room and procede to drench everyone at the table. You know the ol' it seemed like a good idea at the time thing....Anyway, even though it was at least ten years ago I can still remember the exact look on her brothers face when he realized what was about to go down. As I let loose with the bucket, the water seemed to hang in mid-air for what seemed an eternity as I was hit with the realization that this idea might not be as funny as I had originally thought. He then got hit with what seemed like a wall of water and the whole entire mood of the night took a horrible turn.I just stood there with the stupidest face a human being can have in the middle of a now empty, drenched dining room, holding an empty bucket, along with a huge bag of guilt....Bottoms Up!!!

Good God man...what the hell were you thinking??

wow.

Now that I am older, I like to get drunk and tell my mom stories about my teenage and early twenty years.. She always makes the funniest facial expressions, like she wants to laugh, cry, hide, and hit me all at the same time... It is a blast to tell her about the shit that went down in her house!! that poor woman...

DS1119 wrote:

So we are out drinking and doing whatever one night. About 6 or 7 of us decide to make a late night run to Burger King. We order our food and enjoy. My good buddy at the time is driving a conversion van so we had a shit ton of room. We are sitting in the back of the Burger King where they have the chairs that are bolted into the floor and swivel left and right...well if you keep turning them to the left eventually the chairs come off and there is just a metal post sticking up out of the floor. Yes we took about 20 or so chairs from Burger King one night out of the back of the joint. We ended up throwing them in a dumpster a few days later but it was funny at the time.

tut tut tut... dear oh dear.... such waste! :roll: