when i...

remember that picture of your hometown. .. the one you gave me when you sent me the shirt.. red with black wirting? i put it on my fridge door.. so every day i see it. and every day it reminds me of you. some days just your name pops into my head.. just that simple one syllable. other days i wonder where you are..how youre doing... what happened to make you disappear from my life. i sometimes think of reaching out like i did around new years.. but then i tell myself no.. it no longer matters. i remember mentioning a book i was reading at one time and telling you i wanted to share it with you. i guess by the time i got to the end of it, our friendship was at its end too. last week i thought of just sending it to you with a short note. the book sits on my shelf awaiting a decision that will be answered only with time passing. i know its not just my ego telling me you cant simply have grown bored of me. i look back and see that everything was fine between us. so your absence makes no sense. well... it didnt for the longest time. but now ive been made aware of other factors. that other people can smile to your face whilst twisting a knife deep through your spine. and i have to wonder if this is why you left the way you did. was it sticks and stones... where words can and do hurt? was the poison dripped into your ear, one drop at a time? was my friendship so easily discarded? there are questions i know i wont ever get the answers to.. and after all this time it no longer matters. but that doesnt stop me from wondering every time i open my fridge door.

she came to me at night
and whispered in my ear
told me everything i was
and all she had to give

she only came at night
and when i woke shed be gone
clarity came to me slowly
all she had to give were lies

although i dodged a bullet
she winged me pretty good
and in my head her sweet smile
has now become the most vicious bite

thank you.

ShimmyMommy wrote:

catefrances wrote:

come before me
so i can stand behind you
and hold you up
when you fall
the air you breathe is my life force
the blood that flows
my river of life
give to me
what you receive
draw strength from what is given you
and just remember
where it comes from
and choose wisely
to keep us alive

Incredible :thumbup: all your writing is incredible

thank you.

i hate what ive become
When i see what it is i am
When i feel your shadow
Darkening my heart
Turning it black with hardening blood
There was a time when you were all i saw
Til i couldnt even see myself
And now that youve gone seemingly for good
I hate what ive become
Lost...
... Without my dream

i want you to tell me why i feel this way
why i cant let what i feel for you go
i want you to tell me why youre not with me
why it isnt you i feel when i sleep at night
i want you to tell me i meant nothing
to you; that all i felt was delusion on my part
i want you to tell me why every man i sleep with
is just filling a space where youre not
and i want you to tell me those years
where i gave you more creedence
than ive ever given any man
were a waste of my time
and that all i thought of you
was just a waste of my time

last night she got so drunk she almost did the unthinkable. she composed... she thought.. but she thought better of it. she knew itd do no good... that she was only venting cause she needed to. but she knew it would serve no purpose that would do any good.. not for her. but you know she got in these moods where thoughts of him overwhelmed her. and these past years shed learnt it didnt matter.. nothing she thought or said mattered.......... and so she took a breath and walked away... shut everything down... laying her head upon a pillow thatd seen better days and wishing sleep to come quickly.

the christmas light still hang limply
casting rainbow spots through the muslin
a stray strand of tinsel rests on bare floorboards
forgotten and ignored
she has no time nor the strength to remove it
besides its not hurting anybody so
why not leave it be to do its own thing

it is may and he has been gone since new years
he didnt say he was leaving
he left...
... as if only to get a packet of smokes
but he never came back
for all she knows he could be dead
and sometimes she wishes he is
its the only thing that makes sense of his absence
his clothes lay folded in the drawers
his jacket hangs on the hook
muddy boots rest on the back porch
and his scent still hangs in the air
though it is getting less so
sometimes shell open a drawer and the smell of him will overwhelm her
sometimes she thinks if she packs all his stuff up that will force his hand
hell have to come home to prove her suspicions wrong
but instead...
she goes about her business changing nothing
just in case....

gracias.


the seed was planted for that one a few days ago when i heard a song on the radio. i cant remember song it was but when it started the image of neglected xmas lights came into my head.... oh and the song wasnt even about xmas lights or anything.