Did you get the memo?

justam · December 2010

Dear defender of smelly students,

While I admire your zest for learning and your courageous defense of the underdog, you needn't waste your time in this case.

You obviously have not been subjected to an entire semester with this stinky student! If you had, you would realize that this particular young man is also an unprepared pain-in-the-neck all the time.

Sincerely,
me

dcfaithful · December 2010

Dear spider that bit my dog,

You're an asshole. Not only has my dog been subjected to embarassment by wearing one of those goofy ass cones on his head, he has to swallow huge pills that I'm sure are not anywhere near being tasty. You also cost me $60+ that I didn't have. Your existence is futile at best, and the fact that you have 8 legs doesn't mean that one of my enormously awesome ones won't squash your pathetic body next time I see you.

I'm usually a very kind individual, and believe to cause no harm to any creature...but you sir, have crossed a line and affected something dear to me. All Zeke was doing was sleeping, and you infected him with your poison. That's all you are, poison. You are poisonous to everything around you, and you have way too many eyes. In short, you're fucking ugly.

I advise you tell everyone in your clique of eight-legged fucko's to stay out of sight as I will not differentiate one from the other. Because of your careless actions, you and all of your friends, children, relatives, enemies, associates, and lovers will unquestionably be meeting the soles of my shoes.

PS. Stay the fuck out of my dragon tree. There was no invitation extended your way.

Sincerely,
The guy that's always disliked spiders
The guy you stole $60 from
The guy who loves his dog much more than anything in your genus
The guy who will bring you your doom.

chadwick · December 2010

justam wrote:

Dear defender of smelly students,

While I admire your zest for learning and your courageous defense of the underdog, you needn't waste your time in this case.

You obviously have not been subjected to an entire semester with this stinky student! If you had, you would realize that this particular young man is also an unprepared pain-in-the-neck all the time.

Sincerely,
me

outstanding work, justly.
you frickin rock, sister.

justam · December 2010

Thanks chadwick.

unlost dogs · December 2010

Dear People Who Ride The Trains,

Please be aware that public transportation is designed to be "public." That's why they call it that.

What that means is, the subway trains and streetcars are not your living room. Thus, it is inappropriate for you to spread open the newspaper and expect others to shrink into the fetal position in order to accommodate your desire to read all about Tom Brady's thinning hair.

Nor is the train your own personal moving van. You should not be surprised when people stare as you board said train with seventeen suitcases, a golf umbrella and a backpack bigger than what they use to scale Everest. And when you squeeze on with a full-size Christmas tree and get dirty looks from the rest of the rush hour crowd, don't be stunned. Perhaps all aboard don't appreciate your jocularity. (Although I thought it was pretty funny, I do admit, and as you recall I complimented you on your sheer badassness.)

And lastly, the train is not a kitchen. Please do not sit next to me and open four Jello cups, one after the other, and eat them ravenously as though you had been denied food for a long period of time. The lime ones nearly made me hurl in your shopping bag. And, while we're on the subject, it's best if you close your mouth while chewing. That way you won't spew chunks of lime-flavored horse hooves on my leg.

That is all.

Unlost Dogs

norm · December 2010

dear pedestrian,

why exactly are you walking in the street in the dark when there is a perfectly good sidewalk to walk on? would you like me run you over? because i'd be more than to do so...i'm in favor of thinning the heard of the stupid

yours,

a driver that doesn't want to hit pedestrians

chadwick · December 2010

justam wrote:

Dear defender of smelly students,

While I admire your zest for learning and your courageous defense of the underdog, you needn't waste your time in this case.

You obviously have not been subjected to an entire semester with this stinky student! If you had, you would realize that this particular young man is also an unprepared pain-in-the-neck all the time.

Sincerely,
me

Dear you,

sounds like me at study time trying to learn something; raising salmon & trout (learning more stuff) all the while getting muddy, rained & snowed on, covered in fish slime, guts & blood, eggs and sperm, moss, weeds, and sticks. then marching myself to class; algebra, english, creative writing, some of the environmental sciences and fisheries and forestry classes. my boots are muddy when i go to class. oh and i took music appreaciation class pretty much damp most days.

Smiles,
me

mickeyrat · December 2010

Dear bitchy-ass whiners,

Just get over it already.

Sincerly,

impatient, intolerant asshole. :P

Jo · December 2010

chadwick wrote:

justam wrote:

Dear defender of smelly students,

While I admire your zest for learning and your courageous defense of the underdog, you needn't waste your time in this case.

You obviously have not been subjected to an entire semester with this stinky student! If you had, you would realize that this particular young man is also an unprepared pain-in-the-neck all the time.

Sincerely,
me

Dear you,

sounds like me at study time trying to learn something; raising salmon & trout (learning more stuff) all the while getting muddy, rained & snowed on, covered in fish slime, guts & blood, eggs and sperm, moss, weeds, and sticks. then marching myself to class; algebra, english, creative writing, some of the environmental sciences and fisheries and forestry classes. my boots are muddy when i go to class. oh and i took music appreaciation class pretty much damp most days.

Smiles,
me

We just moved towns and scored jobs. To be social we would do THE tradition at the "end of a hard WORKING day go straight to the local pub like every other bloke in town,
but as I was a woman and I worked in a tannery using Fish Oils, I would have smelled quite disgusting. :?
but I didn't know??!

After a couple of days my mates said I stank.
Never judge a reaction by it's action.........What Tha?

rollings · December 2010

`

unlost dogs · December 2010

Half Full wrote:

Dear Baker of Flimsy Bread:

Thanks alot.
I really enjoyed my gaping hole sandwich today.

Sincerely,

Out to Lunch

So, you're saying your sandwich was... half full?

:lolno:

rollings · December 2010

`

RKCNDY · December 2010

Dear Little Kid,

Yes, you are cute. You however are not cute when you stick your fingers in the dip and swirl it around and lick your fingers and then continue to do it over and over again. You are also not cute when you stick your hands down your pants to scratch your bum, then stick your filthy hands into my Turkey dinner.

To be kind, I kept my mouth shut and did not finish my dinner.
Please do not run around and pick up leaves and other such decaying matter from the outside and try to stick it into my mouth when I am chatting with your mother.
I am also puzzled by the unknown force that affects you and all other little children that appears to magically glue you to my side on a consistent basis when I visit. This 'magical force' has a terrible side effect.... I end up being sick for weeks on end.
Excuse me, I think I hear a bottle of codeine and a box of azithromycin calling my name.

stuffed up, coughing, and miserable...
4and20

chadwick · December 2010

4and20 wrote:

Dear Little Kid,

Yes, you are cute. You however are not cute when you stick your fingers in the dip and swirl it around and lick your fingers and then continue to do it over and over again. You are also not cute when you stick your hands down your pants to scratch your bum, then stick your filthy hands into my Turkey dinner. To be kind, I kept my mouth shut and did not finish my dinner.
Please do not run around and pick up leaves and other such decaying matter from the outside and try to stick it into my mouth when I am chatting with your mother.
I am also puzzled by the unknown force that affects you and all other little children that appears to magically glue you to my side on a consistent basis when I visit. This 'magical force' has a terrible side effect.... I end up being sick for weeks on end.
Excuse me, I think I hear a bottle of codeine and a box of azithromycin calling my name.

stuffed up, coughing, and miserable...
4and20

i didn't think i resembled a little kid or 81
sorry
i don't think this town's big enough for the two of us

RKCNDY · December 2010

chadwick wrote:

4and20 wrote:

Dear Little Kid,

Yes, you are cute. You however are not cute when you stick your fingers in the dip and swirl it around and lick your fingers and then continue to do it over and over again. You are also not cute when you stick your hands down your pants to scratch your bum, then stick your filthy hands into my Turkey dinner. To be kind, I kept my mouth shut and did not finish my dinner.
Please do not run around and pick up leaves and other such decaying matter from the outside and try to stick it into my mouth when I am chatting with your mother.
I am also puzzled by the unknown force that affects you and all other little children that appears to magically glue you to my side on a consistent basis when I visit. This 'magical force' has a terrible side effect.... I end up being sick for weeks on end.
Excuse me, I think I hear a bottle of codeine and a box of azithromycin calling my name.

stuffed up, coughing, and miserable...
4and20

i didn't think i resembled a little kid or 81
sorry
i don't think this town's big enough for the two of us

Are you challenging me to a draw Chad?

FenwayFaithful · December 2010

unlost dogs wrote:

Dear People Who Ride The Trains,

Please be aware that public transportation is designed to be "public." That's why they call it that.

What that means is, the subway trains and streetcars are not your living room. Thus, it is inappropriate for you to spread open the newspaper and expect others to shrink into the fetal position in order to accommodate your desire to read all about Tom Brady's thinning hair.

Nor is the train your own personal moving van. You should not be surprised when people stare as you board said train with seventeen suitcases, a golf umbrella and a backpack bigger than what they use to scale Everest. And when you squeeze on with a full-size Christmas tree and get dirty looks from the rest of the rush hour crowd, don't be stunned. Perhaps all aboard don't appreciate your jocularity. (Although I thought it was pretty funny, I do admit, and as you recall I complimented you on your sheer badassness.)

And lastly, the train is not a kitchen. Please do not sit next to me and open four Jello cups, one after the other, and eat them ravenously as though you had been denied food for a long period of time. The lime ones nearly made me hurl in your shopping bag. And, while we're on the subject, it's best if you close your mouth while chewing. That way you won't spew chunks of lime-flavored horse hooves on my leg.

That is all.

Unlost Dogs

YES! Thank you Unlost. Correct on ALL counts.

mickeyrat · December 2010

4and20 wrote:

chadwick wrote:

4and20 wrote:

Dear Little Kid,

Yes, you are cute. You however are not cute when you stick your fingers in the dip and swirl it around and lick your fingers and then continue to do it over and over again. You are also not cute when you stick your hands down your pants to scratch your bum, then stick your filthy hands into my Turkey dinner. To be kind, I kept my mouth shut and did not finish my dinner.
Please do not run around and pick up leaves and other such decaying matter from the outside and try to stick it into my mouth when I am chatting with your mother.
I am also puzzled by the unknown force that affects you and all other little children that appears to magically glue you to my side on a consistent basis when I visit. This 'magical force' has a terrible side effect.... I end up being sick for weeks on end.
Excuse me, I think I hear a bottle of codeine and a box of azithromycin calling my name.

stuffed up, coughing, and miserable...
4and20

i didn't think i resembled a little kid or 81
sorry
i don't think this town's big enough for the two of us

Are you challenging me to a draw Chad?

sounds like it to me. Packed bowls at 20 paces plus 4.

chadwick · December 2010

mickeyrat wrote:

4and20 wrote:

Are you challenging me to a draw Chad?

sounds like it to me. Packed bowls at 20 paces plus 4.

are you prepared?

RKCNDY · December 2010

chadwick wrote:

mickeyrat wrote:

4and20 wrote:

Are you challenging me to a draw Chad?

sounds like it to me. Packed bowls at 20 paces plus 4.

are you prepared?

I'm always prepared, first one to blow 20 smoke rings wins....

chadwick · December 2010

4and20 wrote:

I'm always prepared, first one to blow 20 smoke rings wins....

Dear Spliff,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuufZCPoO80
ok
go

nicely done,
Cloudy Skanky

Did you get the memo?

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