PJ fans in 12 step Recovery

mickeyrat · September 2010

NothinGBetteRPJMaN wrote:

mickeyrat wrote:

NothinGBetteRPJMaN wrote:

I've been going to AA meetings for the past several months. I am still having a lot of trouble staying sober because I basically go to to meetings and then go straight home and have no sponsor. I have been better lately staying and talking to people after the meetings and getting phone numbers but I still haven't met anyone that has enough time to be a sponsor.

I'm only 22years old and find it difficult when most the time I am the youngest person at the meetings by at least 10yrs and most people are old enough to be my Dad. That's also why I have had trouble finding a sponsor. Going up to a complete stranger 20years older and introducing myself, asking them to be my sponsor just seems hard. Im usually a quiet person already.

Does anyone have any advice for me? or come into the program at a young age like I have?

Do you know of an intergroup office in your area? Good place to start the search is http://www.aa.org .See if there are any young peoples meetings near you. Its not necessarily the amount of time someone has either. Bill W. had 6 months or so when he met Dr Bob. The thing to look for is , someone who speaks about their experience with the steps. all 12 steps.

the only thing hard about getting even a temporary sponser is in the asking itself. It takes courage to ask for help. I and we tha post here will help as much as we can through here. Feel free to PM if you need to.

Thanks for the response!! I have gone to young person's meetings and they would be great once I get on my feet, the one I was going to was very laid back and I didn't think it was as good, for me at least.

The good news is I have found a sponsor just last week and he's 24 and came into the program at 18 years old. I've also been getting plenty of phone numbers and reaching out more/ hanging out with people after the meetings as opposed to before when I would just go to the meeting then go home and not bother meeting anyone.

I'm still having trouble with the obsessive thoughts that control our alcoholic brains. Especially during the day when I'm home alone with not much to do feeling sorry for myself.

You're welcome!!! Good deal on getting a sponser/phone numbers. One way I know to stop feeling sorry for myself is to get busy on the steps!!

Seriously, theres a relief to be had from doing step 4 (quite the eyeopener!!) and an undescribable feeling from doing step 5. Thorough and honest!! Please keep posting, it helped me. And I'm interested to know how you are doing.

i shit and i stink · September 2010

NothinGBetteRPJMaN wrote:

I'm still having trouble with the obsessive thoughts that control our alcoholic brains. Especially during the day when I'm home alone with not much to do feeling sorry for myself.

You could get yourself a copy of 'living sober', there are some good ideas in there about filling up time. Keeping busy is one great way not to drink. Stay active, find hobbies, dos omething that stimiulates the mind. We all feel sorry for ourselves sometimes when we have nothing to do and self-pity is a dangersous place to go.

I know it is lame, but when I am at home alone I either play guitar (cool) or doa jigsaw puzzle (not cool, I know!) COncentrating on something like that works out the brain and doesn't let the obsession in.

i shit and i stink · September 2010

mickeyrat wrote:

ok, so work has been a little bit of a roller coaster ride. .

Just wanted to share on this topic a little. I don't mean to complain, just to talk, you know... one to another.

Running a small business, with a wife who is about to have our third child and i'm suddenly the sole wage earner and one year sober. Responsibility scares me at times. So, I try everything to get our business out there and get more clients, we've invested a lot over the last few months hoping people come in for the new school semester and well... business is slow, really slow.

I find myself building up a load of resentments about it:
- Resentment towards the clients who choose not to come to us.
- Resentment towards our former clients who moved on for various reasons (generally satisfied but they can't stay with us forever, but still I'm hurt by it).
- Resentment towards all the teachers out there who offer the same service as us working cash in hand and not paying tax, thereby undercutting our prices whilst selfishly not contributing to society.
- Resentment towards myself for not having the hustle to run a business perfectly.
- Mostly, resentment towards the business itself for all the time and effort I've put into it
- and towards my HP for not just sorting everything out.

Then I take a deep breath and look at it in perspective...
We have enough to keep food on the table and the business running. The clients we have are satisfied and excited about what we do. I've learnt more in three years doing this than I would have in a couple of decades in another job or at university studying business. We have events and opportunities coming up that are exciting and may lead to great things.

So, I can look at it two ways... with jealousy and anger that I haven't got what I wanted right here and right now... or I can be patient and remember that things happen when they are supposed to happen. My HP has sorted it this way. Perhaps not being overrun with clients right now, with my wife due to give birth in a couple of weeks, is a good thing.

All I know is this, when I don't focus on the negatives and I fully trust my HP, I don't feel afraid or resentful. I just KNOW deep inside that things will be alright. But when I try to control it myself I get angry and my chest tightens.

All I need to do is 'let go and let god' but sometimes I forget and start trying to play god!

mickeyrat · September 2010

i shit and i stink wrote:

mickeyrat wrote:

ok, so work has been a little bit of a roller coaster ride. .

Just wanted to share on this topic a little. I don't mean to complain, just to talk, you know... one to another.

Running a small business, with a wife who is about to have our third child and i'm suddenly the sole wage earner and one year sober. Responsibility scares me at times. So, I try everything to get our business out there and get more clients, we've invested a lot over the last few months hoping people come in for the new school semester and well... business is slow, really slow.

I find myself building up a load of resentments about it:
- Resentment towards the clients who choose not to come to us.
- Resentment towards our former clients who moved on for various reasons (generally satisfied but they can't stay with us forever, but still I'm hurt by it).
- Resentment towards all the teachers out there who offer the same service as us working cash in hand and not paying tax, thereby undercutting our prices whilst selfishly not contributing to society.
- Resentment towards myself for not having the hustle to run a business perfectly.
- Mostly, resentment towards the business itself for all the time and effort I've put into it
- and towards my HP for not just sorting everything out.

Then I take a deep breath and look at it in perspective...
We have enough to keep food on the table and the business running. The clients we have are satisfied and excited about what we do. I've learnt more in three years doing this than I would have in a couple of decades in another job or at university studying business. We have events and opportunities coming up that are exciting and may lead to great things.

So, I can look at it two ways... with jealousy and anger that I haven't got what I wanted right here and right now... or I can be patient and remember that things happen when they are supposed to happen. My HP has sorted it this way. Perhaps not being overrun with clients right now, with my wife due to give birth in a couple of weeks, is a good thing.

All I know is this, when I don't focus on the negatives and I fully trust my HP, I don't feel afraid or resentful. I just KNOW deep inside that things will be alright. But when I try to control it myself I get angry and my chest tightens.

All I need to do is 'let go and let god' but sometimes I forget and start trying to play god!

touche' . Point taken. You see? I TOLD you , you have helped ME as much if not more than I have you!!!

Thanks for the reminder.

locked · September 2010

"I erased it.. a life wasted... I'm never going back again...

mickeyrat · September 2010

computers and the internet can be such helpful tools in recovery. Never could have imagined how helpful. awesome day.

mydogmookieblaylock · September 2010

Hello,
I have a friend in the program who will be in New Jersey next week and is looking for a couple meetings - please PM me if anyone is from the area......

Thank you
Robb P

i shit and i stink · October 2010

I didn't make it to our meeting on Saturday but 2 new members went along, that makes 6 people now. That is growth!

It has been a good week. The six weeks prior to this were the worst of my sobriety, I seemed to destroy all my good work by obsessing about the business and life's little worries. I was climbing the walls ten days ago but just learning to start the day the right way has made a big difference. I now get up, read something, think for a few minutes, drink a tea and take it easy... it's a simple beginning to each day but it has helped a lot. My old routine of waking up and going from dead sleep to blind panic about the day ahead within 5 seconds just wasn't doing me any good!

megatron · October 2010

alright time to start over. bout to go get that white chip again.

funny how you can talk yourself back into your old ways.

dah well

mickeyrat · October 2010

megatron wrote:

alright time to start over. bout to go get that white chip again.

funny how you can talk yourself back into your old ways.

dah well

:thumbup: to the first part!

i shit and i stink · October 2010

megatron wrote:

alright time to start over. bout to go get that white chip again.

funny how you can talk yourself back into your old ways.

dah well

If I remember rightly, you sent a message on the boards a month or so ago when you were still sober. Sounds like you weren't out for too long. Congratualtions for getting back to the rooms so quickly. That is great. Any time you want to get in touch, just get the PMs going.

megatron · October 2010

i shit and i stink wrote:

megatron wrote:

alright time to start over. bout to go get that white chip again.

funny how you can talk yourself back into your old ways.

dah well

If I remember rightly, you sent a message on the boards a month or so ago when you were still sober. Sounds like you weren't out for too long. Congratualtions for getting back to the rooms so quickly. That is great. Any time you want to get in touch, just get the PMs going.

thanks.
yea i just slipped and had a bad weekend. called in for work and felt like death.
luckily nothing bad happened. i've slipped a few times since my first attempt at sobriety last november. each time i get back quicker.
my friend showed me this little story if it hasn't been shared here. i think it's perfect

AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT PARAGRAPHS

by Portia Nelson from THERE'S A HOLE IN MY SIDEWALK

1.
I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost. I am helpless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.

2.
I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in. I can't believe I'm in the same place, but it isn't my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.

3.
I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in. It's a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.

4.
I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.

5.
I walk down a different street.

i shit and i stink · October 2010

[quote="megatron

yea i just slipped and had a bad weekend. called in for work and felt like death.
luckily nothing bad happened. i've slipped a few times since my first attempt at sobriety last november. each time i get back quicker.
my friend showed me this little story if it hasn't been shared here. i think it's perfect

AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT PARAGRAPHS

by Portia Nelson from THERE'S A HOLE IN MY SIDEWALK

1.
I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost. I am helpless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.

2.
I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in. I can't believe I'm in the same place, but it isn't my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.

3.
I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in. It's a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.

4.
I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.

5.
I walk down a different street.[/quote]

So, from what you said, you've done trips one, two and three. 4 and 5 sound like better journeys

mickeyrat · October 2010

in about an hour and a half a meeting will start. In about an hour and forty-five minutes I will be introduced to share my story. Each time I'm asked to do this I learn a little bit more about myself.Always have something that I want to say, but somehow what I want to say doesnt come out of my mouth. Wonder what we'll hear tonight.

mickeyrat · October 2010

its a good day to be clean and sober.

Was presented with an opportunity yesterday to reflect about where I was a short 4 1/2 years ago. At a gas station to get a pack of smokes. Random drunk guy getting shitty and in my face. So very thankful I dont have to live that way today.

So thanks random drunk guy. You helped me practice patience and tolerance and provided an opportunity to reflect.

mickeyrat · October 2010

seems strange to me how life can turn on a dime. feels that way anyway. I start back at a job on monday that I walked off of with zero notice two years ago. In the same position and making the same money as before. I thought that particular door was bolted and nailed shut. All the pontential with this company is intact.

To have people reach out here and elsewhere , seeking or asking for help. truly awesome. To have this place , this thread , as place to be more anonymous than a meeting can be is truly wonderful. To freely share and be shared with in a forum that respects the integrity of it , well lets just say it surprises me a bit. Initially this thread came to life in the words and music forum , it seemed the safest place for such a thing.

Once the move was made with the updated board it shifted to a moving train. there was a brief back and forth with someone who vehemently disagreed with the intent here. thats ok. it was handled with help. with the move to AMT , I got scared for the health of the thread. at my request , it moved again to AET , which brought with it many of the same concerns.

To be honest I owe the whole of the posters on AET a big apology for my judgement. I was woefully wrong about the people here. To be commended for what I'm trying to do , and from unexpected places ,well , it just amazes me.

So , for those without a need for a thread such as this , I thank you. Thank you for the respect given.It is greatly appreciated.

chadwick · October 2010

can weed freaks come here?
btw, i never have been to a 12 step recovery program.
i been to mental health therapists and the like, that's it.

mickeyrat · October 2010

chadwick wrote:

can weed freaks come here?

seeing as how I used to crush seeds and shred stems to smoke when there was none to be had and also scrape and rescrape the bowl to within an inch of its life, I would say yes. Welcome. Come on in and set a spell.

jmurray · October 2010

locked wrote:

"I erased it.. a life wasted... I'm never going back again...

+1

chadwick · October 2010

mickeyrat wrote:

chadwick wrote:

can weed freaks come here?

seeing as how I used to crush seeds and shred stems to smoke when there was none to be had and also scrape and rescrape the bowl to within an inch of its life, I would say yes. Welcome. Come on in and set a spell.

im just glad im not a raging alcoholic like before.
that is terrifying to me.
almost daily i get the urge to drink.

my problem would be cross addictions.
isn't that the term they use?
whiskey, weed, pills, snort some speed shit... what the fuck?
drop some acid, smoke some green, slam a 12 pack of beer.
that's how i existed for years.
mr. party guy

fuck off...

i honestly believe i am tired of the whole thing.
i like being around sober clean ppl.
i cannot stomach the things i used to do and the crowd i ran with.

also real quick i'd like to say that i never understood moderation and i still don't but i am learning it slowly.
i have never been satisfied with a dime bag or something like that. i have to have 20 pounds or im not happy.
and i don't believe i been happy for years.

PJ fans in 12 step Recovery

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