*** Jokes of the Day!! ***

pandora
pandora Posts: 21,855
edited September 2013 in All Encompassing Trip
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that thing? :shock:

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
A: There have been sightings of UFOs. :P

I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead. :lol:

What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?
The 1977 World Hide and Seek Champion. :P

Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in? that's how dogs spend their lives. :roll:

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth. :lol:


GOT SOME?
Post edited by Unknown User on
«134567…13

Comments

  • dimitrispearljam
    dimitrispearljam Posts: 139,725
    how 4 blondes seat in a chair?
    they put the chair,upside down..
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • Jukee
    Jukee Posts: 4,500
    dimitrispearljam wrote:
    how 4 blondes seat in a chair?
    they put the chair,upside down..

    :lol: Wow that's one blonde joke I haven't heard before.
    If you have nothing to lose, you have nothing to worry about.
  • pandora
    pandora Posts: 21,855
    dimitrispearljam wrote:
    how 4 blondes seat in a chair?
    they put the chair,upside down..
    :o:lol:
  • dimitrispearljam
    dimitrispearljam Posts: 139,725
    Jukee wrote:
    dimitrispearljam wrote:
    how 4 blondes seat in a chair?
    they put the chair,upside down..

    :lol: Wow that's one blonde joke I haven't heard before.
    we have blondes in Greece too.. :lol: let me try to remember some..
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • RKCNDY
    RKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    I only know jokes that will get the thread locked... :cry:
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • Jukee
    Jukee Posts: 4,500
    zchick wrote:
    I only know jokes that will get the thread locked... :cry:

    We had enough of that yesterday so maybe you should keep them to yourself... 8-)
    If you have nothing to lose, you have nothing to worry about.
  • dimitrispearljam
    dimitrispearljam Posts: 139,725
    Jukee wrote:
    zchick wrote:
    I only know jokes that will get the thread locked... :cry:

    We had enough of that yesterday so maybe you should keep them to yourself... 8-)
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • dimitrispearljam
    dimitrispearljam Posts: 139,725
    edited August 2010
    what 17 blondes waiting out of the cinema,?
    on more cos the film is for under 18
    Post edited by dimitrispearljam on
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • Anon
    Anon Posts: 11,175
    What did one snowman say to the other??
    Do you smell carrots?



    Why wouldn't the shrimp share his treasure?
    Because he was a little shellfish!



    What does a vegan zombie eat??
    Graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains.
  • RKCNDY
    RKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    Jukee wrote:
    zchick wrote:
    I only know jokes that will get the thread locked... :cry:

    We had enough of that yesterday so maybe you should keep them to yourself... 8-)

    that's why I didn't post them...guess if somebody really wants to know, you cam PM me...LOL
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • Green Circle
    Green Circle Posts: 5,192
    Jukee wrote:
    zchick wrote:
    I only know jokes that will get the thread locked... :cry:

    We had enough of that yesterday so maybe you should keep them to yourself... 8-)

    Yup...I give this thread, hmmmmm...a couple weeks before the
    jokes get good and the thread gets locked :P
    "...And I fight back in my mind. Never lets me be right.
    I got memories. I got shit so much it don't show."
  • pandora
    pandora Posts: 21,855
    A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

    "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
    The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
    The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

    A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
    "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

    :D
  • pandora
    pandora Posts: 21,855
    LoveOnTwoLegs wrote:
    What did one snowman say to the other??
    Do you smell carrots?



    Why wouldn't the shrimp share his treasure?
    Because he was a little shellfish!



    What does a vegan zombie eat??
    Graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains.
    :lol::D:lol:
  • dimitrispearljam
    dimitrispearljam Posts: 139,725
    A blonde goes into a beauty shop at New york :
    Blonde: Do you have a hair removal cream?
    Saleswoman: What area?
    Blonde: downtown
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • dimitrispearljam
    dimitrispearljam Posts: 139,725
    It's a dumb blonde, a smart blonde, Superman and Batman in a room with a pie. Suddenly the lights off and then the cake disappears. Who ate the pie??
    The dumb blonde because the other three are fictional characters!
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • Jukee
    Jukee Posts: 4,500
    pandora wrote:
    A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

    "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
    The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
    The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

    A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
    "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

    :lol: Good one!

    :D
    If you have nothing to lose, you have nothing to worry about.
  • dimitrispearljam
    dimitrispearljam Posts: 139,725
    Why did the blonde opens her milk to the super market;
    Why writes on "Open here"
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • RKCNDY
    RKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    ok, lame one...
    Why did the blonde snort Nutra Sweet? She thought it was Diet Coke.
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • Newch91
    Newch91 Posts: 17,560
    This is one my little brother likes to say:

    Q: What kind of dog likes to take baths?
    A: A shampoodle.
    Shows: 6.27.08 Hartford, CT/5.15.10 Hartford, CT/6.18.2011 Hartford, CT (EV Solo)/10.19.13 Brooklyn/10.25.13 Hartford
    "Becoming a Bruce fan is like hitting puberty as a musical fan. It's inevitable." - dcfaithful
  • pandora
    pandora Posts: 21,855
    Yo mamma's so old, she farts dust.
    :lol:

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