Separating/Divorcing-Anyone in the process?

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  • Lizard
    Lizard So Cal Posts: 12,091
    HeartShapedBox wrote:
    He spent all last week in N. Carolina with his girlfriend... why won't he let me go???

    I want to get on with my life dammitt!!!
    I don't get that---how can he hold onto you if you don't want to be.....
    Sorry, don't know all the details of what you are going through.
    So I'll just lie down and wait for the dream
    Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
  • PearlOfAGirl
    PearlOfAGirl Posts: 15,993
    Lizard wrote:
    HeartShapedBox wrote:
    He spent all last week in N. Carolina with his girlfriend... why won't he let me go???

    I want to get on with my life dammitt!!!
    I don't get that---how can he hold onto you if you don't want to be.....
    Sorry, don't know all the details of what you are going through.
    We both have to file for divorce, and he always has some excuse. I'm trying to be civil about it, but he's an idiot...

    Wish you were here...
    ♥~RIP Dad
  • Lizard
    Lizard So Cal Posts: 12,091
    Damn. I thought all states were alike.....One party files and the other gets served and answers. If not, a default is entered.

    Well...good luck with that. I hope it gets resolved for you soon!!
    So I'll just lie down and wait for the dream
    Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
  • PearlOfAGirl
    PearlOfAGirl Posts: 15,993
    Lizard wrote:
    Damn. I thought all states were alike.....One party files and the other gets served and answers. If not, a default is entered.

    Well...good luck with that. I hope it gets resolved for you soon!!
    Thanks, and me too!!

    It works the same way here, but I can't afford a lawyer at the moment... :roll:

    Wish you were here...
    ♥~RIP Dad
  • Starfall
    Starfall Posts: 548
    HeartShapedBox wrote:
    Lizard wrote:
    HeartShapedBox wrote:
    He spent all last week in N. Carolina with his girlfriend... why won't he let me go???

    I want to get on with my life dammitt!!!
    I don't get that---how can he hold onto you if you don't want to be.....
    Sorry, don't know all the details of what you are going through.
    We both have to file for divorce, and he always has some excuse. I'm trying to be civil about it, but he's an idiot...
    Why can't you live your own life right now?
    Go out with a few guys, and if he has a problem with it, then he can go frak himself.
    "It's not hard to own something. Or everything. You just have to know that it's yours, and then be willing to let it go." - Neil Gaiman, "Stardust"
  • PearlOfAGirl
    PearlOfAGirl Posts: 15,993
    Starfall wrote:
    Why can't you live your own life right now?
    Go out with a few guys, and if he has a problem with it, then he can go frak himself.


    Sounds great! I'm going to be moving some place warmer, and once the divorce is settled I get half of everything... I deserve it!! :lol: :thumbup:

    Wish you were here...
    ♥~RIP Dad
  • dcfaithful
    dcfaithful Posts: 13,076
    pearljgirl2010 wrote:
    it's been a year since we admitted to ourselves that our marriage wasn't working...it feels like 10 lifetimes ago! In that year, we've both moved out of CA, started new jobs, began new and healthy relationships and gotten divorced...and are both happier.

    I'm glad things are looking better for you. Forgive me for not being in this thread since page 1, but I'm happy to hear that you've made it through your own period of not so happy times.
    7/2/06 - Denver, CO
    6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
    8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
    9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
    9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
    9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,714
    catefrances wrote:
    mickeyrat wrote:
    hmmm, 10 1/2 months since I was made aware she wasn't happy. 8 months today since it became official.

    While my days ARE much better than last year , I'm still in the middle of dealing with the loss.

    Is this what it means to love someone? To be happy for her in a bittersweet way as she has begun a life as another mans wife?

    who says you have to be happy for her??? sure, wish her no ill will but as for you being happy for her. screw that. id be feeling nothing for her.
    Cate , through it all , I LOVE this woman. Call me a dumbass or a sentimental fool. But I feel what I feel.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • pearljgirl2010
    pearljgirl2010 Shillington, PA/Tuckerton, NJ Posts: 3,428
    dcfaithful wrote:
    pearljgirl2010 wrote:
    it's been a year since we admitted to ourselves that our marriage wasn't working...it feels like 10 lifetimes ago! In that year, we've both moved out of CA, started new jobs, began new and healthy relationships and gotten divorced...and are both happier.

    I'm glad things are looking better for you. Forgive me for not being in this thread since page 1, but I'm happy to hear that you've made it through your own period of not so happy times.


    thank you...it's amazing how something that is usually such a negative experience really turned out to be so positive in our case...I know that isn't typical and I'm very grateful that we are on good terms...it made it much easier to move on with our lives
    Need a tour Travel Agent??? Pick me :-)

    Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
  • pearljgirl2010
    pearljgirl2010 Shillington, PA/Tuckerton, NJ Posts: 3,428
    bump for a sweetheart of a girl on this thread...wishing you the best!
    Need a tour Travel Agent??? Pick me :-)

    Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
  • rick1zoo2
    rick1zoo2 between a rock and a dumb place Posts: 12,632
    pearljgirl2010 wrote:
    bump for a sweetheart of a girl on this thread...wishing you the best!

    don't know her, but I'll second that bump. we all need a little help
  • PearlOfAGirl
    PearlOfAGirl Posts: 15,993
    As of Monday the wheels are finally in motion... :)

    Wish you were here...
    ♥~RIP Dad
  • pearljgirl2010
    pearljgirl2010 Shillington, PA/Tuckerton, NJ Posts: 3,428
    HeartShapedBox wrote:
    As of Monday the wheels are finally in motion... :)

    glad to hear it, my dear!
    Need a tour Travel Agent??? Pick me :-)

    Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
  • fanch75
    fanch75 Posts: 3,734
    Whenever I'm sad, I stop being sad, and be awesome instead. True story.
    Do you remember Rock & Roll Radio?
  • he still stands
    he still stands Posts: 2,835
    2 things:

    I have my boy on the weekends AND one or two nights per week. (the $ support isn't even what I'm gonna bitch about even though I have him 40-50% of the time and get zero credit!) Anyway.. the ex is making me drive both ways to get and him and to drop him off even though the court says she should drive 1/2 the time. She claims she doesn't have enough $$ even though I'm sending her $1,200 per fucking month and she doesn't have rent cause she is living with friends.

    Should I make a big issue of this? It is a 30 mile drive, 60 miles round trip... and I'm doing that in addition to my work commute 2 or 3 times a week. Ridiculous.

    The other thing is she is going to move in with another dude soon. If thats the case should I appeal the spousal support because he makes good money... I should be paying her ZERO for spousal support, right? I will definitely pay the current amount of child support but it pisses me off that she is getting money from me to support her clothes buying and pot buying habits. The latter is another issue in and of itself...
    Everything not forbidden is compulsory and eveything not compulsory is forbidden. You are free... free to do what the government says you can do.
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,714
    he still stands wrote:
    2 things:

    I have my boy on the weekends AND one or two nights per week. (the $ support isn't even what I'm gonna bitch about even though I have him 40-50% of the time and get zero credit!) Anyway.. the ex is making me drive both ways to get and him and to drop him off even though the court says she should drive 1/2 the time. She claims she doesn't have enough $$ even though I'm sending her $1,200 per fucking month and she doesn't have rent cause she is living with friends.

    Should I make a big issue of this? It is a 30 mile drive, 60 miles round trip... and I'm doing that in addition to my work commute 2 or 3 times a week. Ridiculous.

    The other thing is she is going to move in with another dude soon. If thats the case should I appeal the spousal support because he makes good money... I should be paying her ZERO for spousal support, right? I will definitely pay the current amount of child support but it pisses me off that she is getting money from me to support her clothes buying and pot buying habits. The latter is another issue in and of itself...
    Document everything. And you have a lawyer right?
    Unless she marries him you are still on the hook for the spousal support. Not saying you are , but whatever you do , dont put your child in the middle.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • he still stands
    he still stands Posts: 2,835
    mickeyrat wrote:
    Document everything. And you have a lawyer right?
    Unless she marries him you are still on the hook for the spousal support. Not saying you are , but whatever you do , dont put your child in the middle.

    Yeah I need to do a better job of documenting this stuff... especially the days I have him.

    IN PA you have to have your kid 40% of the time or more to get credit for child support... I think I have him at least 40% of the time but I'm paying her the full amount. Another reason for proper documentation...

    Are you sure I'm still on the hook for spousal support if she moves in with a guy and he supports her? She isn't working... no day care or anything like that. Hmm well if that is the case I hope that cartoon looking douche marries her fast!
    Everything not forbidden is compulsory and eveything not compulsory is forbidden. You are free... free to do what the government says you can do.
  • 81
    81 Needing a ride to Forest Hills and a ounce of weed. Please inquire within. Thanks. Or not. Posts: 58,276
    i would stick it to her anytime i could.
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • he still stands
    he still stands Posts: 2,835
    81 wrote:
    i would stick it to her anytime i could.

    lots of guys do... apparently.
    Everything not forbidden is compulsory and eveything not compulsory is forbidden. You are free... free to do what the government says you can do.
  • PearlOfAGirl
    PearlOfAGirl Posts: 15,993
    Got something from the court the other day, with a date to meet with the mediator for the divorce. Less than 2 weeks away...

    Wish you were here...
    ♥~RIP Dad

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