In the spirit of V-day, humor me

Whizbang

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

yeah I am extremely independent too. I don't look like I need a man. But if I have to change that to get one, I would rather be alone, because frankly I *don't* need one.

other than the "crapped excellence" part, take a look at my signature line.

GreenTeaDisease

Whizbang wrote:

other than the "crapped excellence" part, take a look at my signature line.

lol, well I guess we do need oxygen, water, food, and some money .

Whizbang

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

lol, well I guess we do need oxygen, water, food, and some money .

funny part about that quote? got that from a guy I dated. He claimed he was attracted to my independent spirit but he was ultimately too scared to handle it and said he "needed" a girl who he could take care of.

lalalalaaaaaaaa

Whizbang wrote:

funny part about that quote? got that from a guy I dated. He claimed he was attracted to my independent spirit but he was ultimately too scared to handle it and said he "needed" a girl who he could take care of.

haha I'm trying to picture you being taken care of by some dude...















STILL TRYING!

Whizbang

Saturnal wrote:

haha I'm trying to picture you being taken care of by some dude...







STILL TRYING!

pretty funny, eh? I mean....I suppose I could keep one around to kill spiders? It's not easy being with me so I admire a guy who's got the sack to stand as my partner and not lose himself or expect me to change to fit some housewife or wallflower role.

GreenTeaDisease

Whizbang wrote:

funny part about that quote? got that from a guy I dated. He claimed he was attracted to my independent spirit but he was ultimately too scared to handle it and said he "needed" a girl who he could take care of.

honestly it is really unbelievable how common a sentiment this is among guys. a lot of times they do want a girl who "needs" them. I've heard of guys dumping my friends because another girl need them to "fix" her. I think it is very common. Of course I'm not saying all men want this, I'm just saying that I've heard of it a number of times that I find surprising.

Whizbang

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

honestly it is really unbelievable how common a sentiment this is among guys. a lot of times they do want a girl who "needs" them. I've heard of guys dumping my friends because another girl need them to "fix" her. I think it is very common. Of course I'm not saying all men want this, I'm just saying that I've heard of it a number of times that I find surprising.

I know what you mean. There are plenty of women looking to have a man take care of her; plenty of men who want a woman they can take care of. Kind of goes to the generalization of "women get married to change a man; men get married hoping she'll never change. Again, a generalization based on some experiences and living/seeing life. Every marriage I've seen stand the test of time has been examples of true partnership where partners were there for each other with little or no emphesis on traditional gender roles.

Heineken Helen

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

alcohol is looking like a common denomenator.

hahahhaa... I called that and knew you were gonna come up with that one!

Heineken Helen

jamainiac wrote:

Do you mean that literally? I don't think people 'randomly' kiss people... welll some people might...

I don't think that you can try to explain physical chemistry in a plain, logical sense...

Being 'in love' with someone is different things to different people...

'Falling in Love' and 'Being in Love' are very different as well...

My best explanation of what 'falling in love' feels like is 'complete retardation'

'Being in Love' on the other hand... is the most beautiful, sound, secure feeling in the world... feeling like you are exactly where you belong... with the person you belong with

Beautifully and very very well put

But I have to disagree with the random kissing thing you've never been in temple bar, have ya?

Heineken Helen

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

Oh I don't really worry about it per se. I like being single, and I don't think that dating is all it's cracked up to be (but that's sort of why I am interested in this because all my friends say it's because I haven't met the "right" people). I've just been starting to get bored lately as my job is less than inspiring, and I realized that if I want to date again, I'm going to be screwed because I really don't know how. I'm basically back in the same place I was like 6 years ago. Without online dating plus the extra 40 lbs, I'm pretty much screwed. And as far is this thread goes, I've just never understood how it all works and it really baffles me, so I thought I would try to figure it out once and for all.

Until 2 years ago... I'd been single for 6 years too and ya kinda resign yourself to the fact that you're never gonna find anyone, that this is just how it's gonna be and how it's meant to be... then some guy came along, was sat beside him at a rugby match and we got chatting and went to the pub after the match (along with my friend and his friend). That one took a bit of trying and effort on both our parts, it was still good but it wasn't gonna last and it didn't... BUT it was that few months with him that kinda got me realising that I CAN do this... ya just never know where they're gonna come from.

DinghyDog

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DinghyDog

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know1

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

my curiosity about these things is never satisfied... this is something I just can't figure our how many people I ask and how many times it comes up on this board. So as specifically as possible, please answer these 2 questions for me:

1) How did you MEET your significant other (or your last one)? Work? School? Bar? Match.com? Did one of you drop your papers on the street and look up and see the other one and fall in love at first sight?

2) How did you then TRANSITION from just knowing this person or liking them to actually being in a romantic relationship? Did you ask them out on a date and then it was just implied? Did you suddenly like kiss or something? Did you just like, tell them you liked them?

thanks for the help with my research!!!

1. At Work
2. Several months. We "hung out" and did stuff together for a long time because I was getting over a very broken heart. Things went pretty slow. I don't think we said "I Love You" for well over a year.

GreenTeaDisease

Heineken Helen wrote:

Until 2 years ago... I'd been single for 6 years too and ya kinda resign yourself to the fact that you're never gonna find anyone, that this is just how it's gonna be and how it's meant to be... then some guy came along, was sat beside him at a rugby match and we got chatting and went to the pub after the match (along with my friend and his friend). That one took a bit of trying and effort on both our parts, it was still good but it wasn't gonna last and it didn't... BUT it was that few months with him that kinda got me realising that I CAN do this... ya just never know where they're gonna come from.

can I ask though- because this is really what I am trying to learn- you went to the pub with this strange guy 1) how did that trip to the pub happen? 2) after that step, how did you end up dating him?

Heineken Helen

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

can I ask though- because this is really what I am trying to learn- you went to the pub with this strange guy 1) how did that trip to the pub happen? 2) after that step, how did you end up dating him?

we were talking throughout the game... the 4 of us (well they were talking and I was watching the game and mumbling here and there ). Somewhere towards the end of the match somebody suggested going to the pub... cos we'd all hit it off. In the pub we kinda naturally paired off... when he was going for his train, he got my number... this is two years ago so I can't remember the specifics of him getting in touch but he did.

GreenTeaDisease

Heineken Helen wrote:

we were talking throughout the game... the 4 of us (well they were talking and I was watching the game and mumbling here and there ). Somewhere towards the end of the match somebody suggested going to the pub... cos we'd all hit it off. In the pub we kinda naturally paired off... when he was going for his train, he got my number... this is two years ago so I can't remember the specifics of him getting in touch but he did.

ok...sometimes i feel like a really big pathetic idiot for not knowing how dating happens. I'm 30 years old :(.

Obsidian22

You're just about the greatest Lady! I wish I lived in Australia so we could hang out and be sarcastic and foul mouthed together. All in a loving and compassionate manner of course!

DinghyDog...Congratulations! Keep us posted on your lady's progress.A second child.Wow! What was the first one, how old? Hail hail!

I am working on the first ,next week.Any advice for my guy?

GTD, "it" is LOVE of course! When you're least expecting it, it will come and bite you on your arse. Like HHelen said..."some guy just came over and sat beside me". The rest is alot of work but worth it,ups and downs and merry go rounds.

GreenTeaDisease

Obsidian22 wrote:

GTD, "it" is LOVE of course! When you're least expecting it, it will come and bite you on your arse. Like HHelen said..."some guy just came over and sat beside me". The rest is alot of work but worth it,ups and downs and merry go rounds.

oh, well I don't really believe in the capital L love.

Heineken Helen

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

ok...sometimes i feel like a really big pathetic idiot for not knowing how dating happens. I'm 30 years old :(.

oh nonononono... don't worry about it. There's plenty of people in your position... I was for long enough...

but it was truly when I gave up on flirting with men and on being interested in them and on considering them a potential boyfriend rather than just someone I'm talking to at the moment... that I suddenly seemed to become more interesting to them... and I started meeting a much nicer kinda guy too. The guys I met before were all weirdos... but then I think I started to come across as a 'safe option' to guys who were tired of the dating thing too... they would talk to me when my friends flirted with their friends with probably no intention of flirting or anything. And sometimes in that kinda situation that's how you hit it off... that's what happened with boyfriend no. 2 after my 6 year hiatus

GreenTeaDisease

Heineken Helen wrote:

oh nonononono... don't worry about it. There's plenty of people in your position... I was for long enough...

but it was truly when I gave up on flirting with men and on being interested in them and on considering them a potential boyfriend rather than just someone I'm talking to at the moment... that I suddenly seemed to become more interesting to them... and I started meeting a much nicer kinda guy too. The guys I met before were all weirdos... but then I think I started to come across as a 'safe option' to guys who were tired of the dating thing too... they would talk to me when my friends flirted with their friends with probably no intention of flirting or anything. And sometimes in that kinda situation that's how you hit it off... that's what happened with boyfriend no. 2 after my 6 year hiatus

ok... lol, I haven't met too many people I've seen as a potential boyfriend!