Why Breed?

Urban Hiker

sennin wrote:

Not many gold metal winners sat at the starting line saying "damn, I'm going to do really shitty today".

I'm going to keep that quote tucked away for later. Thanks, sen.

MattCameronKicksButt

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

haha that happens to me too.

It's probably more likely that the baby needs something or is being taken away from their care giver!

Lizard

I read most of this thread.

I have 2 kids and it just felt like a natural thing to do and I have enjoyed it (mostly ) and hopefully they will be good contributing members of society. BTW, I hated being pregnant so stopped at the 2.

I find breeding an offensive term for some reason.

Also, what if EVERYONE stopped "breeding"? That is NOT gonna happen---it is part of the human make-up to have to kids. I have no problem with people that don't want kids (by all means, if you don't want them then PLEASE, don't have them!!) but what the hell is the big problem with those that do?

pjhawks

Urban Hiker wrote:

Huh? I can only guess how you interpreted my post. So...

I'm not suggesting that only the rich procreate. I suggest that if people are going to procreate they should be able to provide for their child.

i was only responding to your comment about 'wishing there were less children'

JaneNY

Why have kids? For me it was just a longing at one point. Can't really put it into words, but I wanted them. They were both planned. I waited 7 years after marriage, though, to finish my education (college and graduate school) because I wanted to be able to spend time with my babies which I did.

blackredyellow

Urban Hiker wrote:

Hmmm...

I see, maybe this is the wrong forum for this. Too many beautiful, loved, well-cared for children.
Maybe this is better suited for - oh, I don't know.
Any suggestions on forums that may be full of people who have a crapload of kids for all of the wrong reasons?

As a dog owner/lover, I'm sure that you have a problem with people who have 15 dogs or 40 cats that they can't/won't take care of (hell, even if they have 1 animal they won't take care of). You can see the distinction of good pet owners and bad ones... Parents are no different, there are great ones and terrible ones.

They way that you come across in this thread is the same as Peta lumping you (as a pet owner) in with the crazy cat lady or the guy with a malnourished, neglected dog tied to a tree 24/7.

ForestBrain

Some people want kids, some people don't. I DON'T. EVER.

Brain of J.Lo

I think the problem that some of us have with a thread like this is the implication from the beginning that those who choose to parent have failed to consider that there are other choices, and are therefore wrong.

I'm all for a healthy and constructive discussion about the pros and cons of absolutely anything. I just find it offensive that my decision to have a child is viewed as irresponsible, hasty and incorrect because of the poor actions of others.

But, it is kind of funny to hear someone who doesn't have a child tell me how horrible my life is because I have one.

PJaddicted

Urban Hiker wrote:

That biological urge is some crazy shit! I used to feel it at night. I knew my body WANTED to be with child. But, I had already decided not to have kids, so I just enjoyed as a crazy physical experience - kind of a window into the chemical responses our bodies create.

And, I love Petey. He's a lucky pup.

I felt mine kick in for the very first time after my sister gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I came home after seeing her and said to hubby....I WANT ONE! He said....what? Where did that come from??? And then he said OK...he had wanted children and I didn't. Little did I know how my addictive personality would take over, I loved having my kids, the entire process was so much fun. Now I love having my own family...because both hubbies and my sides of the families are so disfunctional, we don't see anyone very often.

Thanks for loving Petey too....Dobermans get such a bad wrap....he is just a big mush! I'm totally in love with him.

oxc

GreenTeaDisease

Brain of J.Lo wrote:

I think the problem that some of us have with a thread like this is the implication from the beginning that those who choose to parent have failed to consider that there are other choices, and are therefore wrong.

I'm all for a healthy and constructive discussion about the pros and cons of absolutely anything. I just find it offensive that my decision to have a child is viewed as irresponsible, hasty and incorrect because of the poor actions of others.

But, it is kind of funny to hear someone who doesn't have a child tell me how horrible my life is because I have one.

I agree that is sort of the tone the original post and some others have taken in this thread!

for me, it is more of a societal issue that the OP touches on, that basically in our culture, you are raised and expected to procreate and if you don't then you are nuts and some how less valuable to society. there's no problem with individual people who want to have kids (though I reiterate my point about many people not considering the social costs of having a litter) it's more of a societal thing.

Brain of J.Lo

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I agree that is sort of the tone the original post and some others have taken in this thread!

for me, it is more of a societal issue that the OP touches on, that basically in our culture, you are raised and expected to procreate and if you don't then you are nuts and some how less valuable to society. there's no problem with individual people who want to have kids (though I reiterate my point about many people not considering the social costs of having a litter) it's more of a societal thing.

I understand where you're coming from, as well. My sister isn't married and doesn't have kids, and it honestly makes people uncomfortable...like she has no right to remain single and childless.

I had an aunt who lived an amazing life. She was born in 1908. She was the first woman in MO to receive her realtor's license. She traveled all over the world and she never let anyone tell her that she couldn't do something. And yet, my grandma and my other aunt always would say how they felt so sorry for her because she never married or had kids. :rolleyes:

So I definitely understand and share your disdain for the attitude that we should all grow up, get married, have kids to replace us and then die.

PJaddicted

Brain of J.Lo wrote:

I understand where you're coming from, as well. My sister isn't married and doesn't have kids, and it honestly makes people uncomfortable...like she has no right to remain single and childless.

I had an aunt who lived an amazing life. She was born in 1908. She was the first woman in MO to receive her realtor's license. She traveled all over the world and she never let anyone tell her that she couldn't do something. And yet, my grandma and my other aunt always would say how they felt so sorry for her because she never married or had kids. :rolleyes:

So I definitely understand and share your disdain for the attitude that we should all grow up, get married, have kids to replace us and then die.

I agree with this too.....I have lots of friends and family who have chosen to NOT have children....I wouldn't dream of asking them why! It is their business.

oxc

GreenTeaDisease

Brain of J.Lo/ wrote:

I had an aunt who lived an amazing life. She was born in 1908. She was the first woman in MO to receive her realtor's license. She traveled all over the world and she never let anyone tell her that she couldn't do something. And yet, my grandma and my other aunt always would say how they felt so sorry for her because she never married or had kids. :rolleyes:

I read a book recently called Singled Out that is basically about this whole phenomenon- the accomplishments and happiness of single people in our society are disregarded and pushed aside, valued less, ignored. It is a very compelling book.

covered in bliss

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I read a book recently called Singled Out that is basically about this whole phenomenon- the accomplishments and happiness of single people in our society are disregarded and pushed aside, valued less, ignored. It is a very compelling book.

Overall, society is changing. Non-breeders are becoming very common and 'hip'... in 20 years, it will be a non-issue.

GreenTeaDisease

covered in bliss wrote:

Overall, society is changing. Non-breeders are becoming very common and 'hip'... in 20 years, it will be a non-issue.

I'd personally rather not wait another 20 years.

covered in bliss

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I'd personally rather not wait another 20 years.

Why waste time caring about what other people think?

Fuck 'em.

Urban Hiker

pjhawks wrote:

i was only responding to your comment about 'wishing there were less children'

pjhawks wrote:

wow thats kind of harsh - whats next wanting less of a certain race or ethnic group

Rereading I see that now. So, no I'm saying there should be fewer children (future adults) period. No race or socioeconomic preference.

Our planet can only handle so much.

Urban Hiker

covered in bliss wrote:

Overall, society is changing. Non-breeders are becoming very common and 'hip'... in 20 years, it will be a non-issue.

Hope that's true.

Urban Hiker

Brain of J.Lo wrote:

I think the problem that some of us have with a thread like this is the implication from the beginning that those who choose to parent have failed to consider that there are other choices, and are therefore wrong.

I'm all for a healthy and constructive discussion about the pros and cons of absolutely anything. I just find it offensive that my decision to have a child is viewed as irresponsible, hasty and incorrect because of the poor actions of others.

But, it is kind of funny to hear someone who doesn't have a child tell me how horrible my life is because I have one.

Don't think your life is horrible, from other posts/threads, I gather that you are enjoying life very much.

ajedigecko

when my wife told me she was pregnant......it was the first time i fell in love unconditionally.

when my daughter was born.......it was the first time i experienced love at first sight.