So people have or don’t have kids for many different reasons. I know a lot of people on here have kids who are the WORLD to them. That’s a done deal, nothing I can do about it except wish you happiness, fulfillment and the strength to get through the trying times.
But, why did you have kids? Did much thought go into to it? My mom used to pressure me into having kids, saying “Everything will work itself out. You have to have kids.” That never really sat right with me.
I’ve chosen not to have children for several different reasons.
-Money. Kids cost a lot.
-If dogs are work, I don’t even want to think about the effort a child requires.
-I like a lot of time to myself. Kids come with friends and their parents, sleepovers, parent-teacher conferences and just a lot of activity that would take away from my alone time.
-My family genes are fucked up, as are my husband’s. We don’t need that bullshit continued.
-Kids are loud! I like them fine in their place, like when they’re playing at the zoo – they’re delightful. But, as soon as some brat comes screaming into my place of work I think, “Holy shit! I think my fallopian tubes just tied themselves!” :eek:
There’s a website I love that examines people’s reasons for breeding and gives answers to each of those reasons. Some good food for thought.
Need a teaser to click?
Here’s one of my faves. Reason given: Want to see a little me Real Reason Self-absorption. Lack of ego gratification. Suggested Alternatives Order custom-made, life-like doll. Create a gratifying life of your own
For those who have decided NOT to have children, please share your reasons. For those who do have children, I'm really not looking for you defend yourself. But, you might take some time to think about the reasons you chose to breed.
Thanks!
First of all your choice of the word "Breed" reflects a distaste for having children, and a disrespect for those that do choose to have children. We are not "Breeders" if we have children, we are parents. When I think of breeding I think of forced procreation like race horses, or show dogs.
I'm not a parent, I've always wanted to be, but I'm not in a place where I think I can offer a child all that I want to offer a child. It's definitely not a biological urge as I've wanted to be a mom since I was 6. An emotional urge? No one pushes me to be a parent, and I feel really sorry for those that are pushed upon. What a horrible thing to be pushy about.
There is absolutely nothing like watching a child grow. It is the definition of joy. To watch a child accomplish a goal is truly amazing. Just being an aunt is pretty wonderful.
There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
to sustain the population. it's just a fact of life, really.
to many of us, that is not a good enough reason, but to a lot of people it is. I say great, let them do it and I'll keep my clean house, disposable income, and stretchmark-free abdomen .
It's a biological urge. A strong one, I've felt it, I chose not to act on it.
I'd say I love my clean house, but the truth is, my dogs do a lot of damage.
Walking can be a real trip
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
It's a biological urge. A strong one, I've felt it, I chose not to act on it.
I'd say I love my clean house, but the truth is, my dogs do a lot of damage.
well, I edited my post and added the biological urge thing. and I do agree it can be very strong. mine is just *gone* though. it's very weird. I don't really even find babies that cute anymore and I used to go nuts for them. I have some instincts you might call maternal, but I tend to take them out on caring for my friends, parents, grandmother, boyfriend, etc. I don't have the urges I used to to hold babies. and i'm not even 30 yet, I'm not like menopausal or something.
Reasons (no matter how unreasonable....in fact, the more unreasonable, all the more reason no to) aside, if you feel that you'd be a bad parent, you will probably fulfill your prophecy.
so becos you're pissed that they judged your motivations for not having kids and were trying to push their lifestyle onto you, you've decided to make broad, sweeping judgments about their motivations for having kids and try to push your lifestyle onto them? do you know what a hypocrite is?
Somewhat and yes.
Too many people have kids for terrible reasons and too often those kids are destined to repeat the mistake. *Envision the broad sweeping strokes of rainbow colors*
I wish people would give having kids more thought, for the sake of the children. They will grow up and be a part of our adult society. I can sincerely say we do not need any more of my Aunt Linda's or Uncle Roy's in our world.
I'm okay with being a hypocrite, if it's for the betterment of the world.
Walking can be a real trip
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
Reasons (no matter how unreasonable....in fact, the more unreasonable, all the more reason no to) aside, if you feel that you'd be a bad parent, you will probably fulfill your prophecy.
My mom thought she would be a great parent. She wanted five or six kids. She had two and thankfully stopped there.
My mom is great in many respects, but literally insane in others, so you can't always fulfill your prophecies.
Walking can be a real trip
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
I have a very strong biological urge....and a addictive personality. So....I ended up having 4 sons, when I spent my entire early life saying I would only have puppies. I mothered tons of pets as a child, then my human children and now that they are all turning in to men....it's back to the animals! Look in the Doggie thread....my puppy pictures of Petey are on every page!!! I have no urge for grandkids, I am burnt out from mothering my own. I'd love some grandpuppies though!!!
If you don't want kids.....no one should make you feel guilty about that choice. It is very expensive and extremely hard work to raise a good decent human being. You have to be completely selfless for about 20 years. I am happy that I made the choice for myself....I'm having the time of my life with my sons now that they are older, I prefer their company to anyone else that I know.
oxc
~*LIVE~LOVE~LAUGH*~
*May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
— Unknown
Well I have 3 kids and may I say only the last one was planned.
haha when it comes down to it, so few kids are planned. the majority of people I know who have kids say they didn't plan them.
however, I have to make a point that, if you're not using birth control of some sort...well sorry, but your kids were "planned." kids are the result of not using birth control, I'm pretty sure most adults know that.
well, I edited my post and added the biological urge thing. and I do agree it can be very strong. mine is just *gone* though. it's very weird. I don't really even find babies that cute anymore and I used to go nuts for them. I have some instincts you might call maternal, but I tend to take them out on caring for my friends, parents, grandmother, boyfriend, etc. I don't have the urges I used to to hold babies. and i'm not even 30 yet, I'm not like menopausal or something.
You are not alone. I do not touch babies. My half sister gave birth to a little girl last year. I told her to call me for a visit when she's potty trained.
My maternal instincts come out with animals.
Walking can be a real trip
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
haha when it comes down to it, so few kids are planned. the majority of people I know who have kids say they didn't plan them.
however, I have to make a point that, if you're not using birth control of some sort...well sorry, but your kids were "planned." kids are the result of not using birth control, I'm pretty sure most adults know that.
I agree. We decided that if she got pregnant it would be fine, but it's not like we both sat down and said ok let's work at getting pregnant. That was only the case with our youngest that we both decided that we wanted another child and we set out to do that. Also if I remember correctly there was alcohol involved in the conception of our first two.
"When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads." - Ron Paul
You are not alone. I do not touch babies. My half sister gave birth to a little girl last year. I told her to call me for a visit when she's potty trained.
My maternal instincts come out with animals.
oh I don't *mind* holding them, I just don't have strong urges to volunteer to anymore.
I have a very strong biological urge....and a addictive personality. So....I ended up having 4 sons, when I spent my entire early life saying I would only have puppies. I mothered tons of pets as a child, then my human children and now that they are all turning in to men....it's back to the animals! Look in the Doggie thread....my puppy pictures of Petey are on every page!!! I have no urge for grandkids, I am burnt out from mothering my own. I'd love some grandpuppies though!!!
If you don't want kids.....no one should make you feel guilty about that choice. It is very expensive and extremely hard work to raise a good decent human being. You have to be completely selfless for about 20 years. I am happy that I made the choice for myself....I'm having the time of my life with my sons now that they are older, I prefer their company to anyone else that I know.
oxc
That biological urge is some crazy shit! I used to feel it at night. I knew my body WANTED to be with child. But, I had already decided not to have kids, so I just enjoyed as a crazy physical experience - kind of a window into the chemical responses our bodies create.
And, I love Petey. He's a lucky pup.
Walking can be a real trip
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
I agree. We decided that if she got pregnant it would be fine, but it's not like we both sat down and said ok let's work at getting pregnant. That was only the case with our youngest that we both decided that we wanted another child and we set out to do that. Also if I remember correctly there was alcohol involved in the conception of our first two.
I know many people who claimed when they got married that they were going to wait a "long" time to have kids. a year later, they're lugging around diaper bags. I don't get why married people just stop using birth control, even when they don't really want kids (or want them yet). I think there is some sort of stigma to being married and using birth control or something (I don't know, I'm not married, just conjecture). For the life of me I just don't get it. How is it so different? You're living together for like 5 years, you're on the pill (or whatever), you get married, you claim you don't want any kids, but you go off the pill all of a sudden?
Actually, I've never thought of this before, but even if I wanted kids...I wouldn't risk going off the pill long enough to get pregnant. If I went off the pill, I pretty much wouldn't be able to function for a week every month, I wouldn't even be able to work. Ok, guess that settles it for me and kids!
I got pregnant in high school, graduated, got an abortion, felt like shit, got pregnant again 6 months later and realized I would never have another abortion, didn't give adoption a thought and ended up with a baby girl.
Before having my daughter I never liked children. I actually somewhat disliked them. She was a perfect baby: she slept through the night, barely cried and ate a ton! Being a mother was easy. We spent every hour of every day together. I never asked for help from anybody. I just loved to hold her and be with her. I actually am getting all teary-eyed just writing this because now she's 11 and drives me nuts most of the time!
My 2nd daughter was not exactly planned, either, but the 3rd was!
First of all your choice of the word "Breed" reflects a distaste for having children, and a disrespect for those that do choose to have children. We are not "Breeders" if we have children, we are parents. When I think of breeding I think of forced procreation like race horses, or show dogs.
I snagged the title from part of that website. It made me think of The Breeders and that song by Harvey Danger
Walking can be a real trip
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
I know many people who claimed when they got married that they were going to wait a "long" time to have kids. a year later, they're lugging around diaper bags. I don't get why married people just stop using birth control, even when they don't really want kids (or want them yet). I think there is some sort of stigma to being married and using birth control or something (I don't know, I'm not married, just conjecture). For the life of me I just don't get it. How is it so different? You're living together for like 5 years, you're on the pill (or whatever), you get married, you claim you don't want any kids, but you go off the pill all of a sudden?
Actually, I've never thought of this before, but even if I wanted kids...I wouldn't risk going off the pill long enough to get pregnant. If I went off the pill, I pretty much wouldn't be able to function for a week every month, I wouldn't even be able to work. Ok, guess that settles it for me and kids!
Well when we got married we decided that we wanted to have kids and that we really didn't care if we got pregnant right away. I always wanted to have my kids while I was young. I didn't want to be the 45 year old dad lugging around a newborn, no offense to any one that fits this description. Raising kids takes a lot of energy so I figured being younger was an advantage.
"When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads." - Ron Paul
Lucky you. I think they know that they scare the piss out of me, so they start crying as soon as they are in my arms. :eek:
Walking can be a real trip
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
My mom thought she would be a great parent. She wanted five or six kids. She had two and thankfully stopped there.
My mom was great in many respects, but literally insane in others, so you can't always fulfill your prophecies.
Just saying....go in to it with a sketchy attitute, you will probably be a sketchy parent. I'm not saying that fulfilling a prophecy isn't a choice, it's just always better to have a good start, and even more important to follow through.
Not many gold metal winners sat at the starting line saying "damn, I'm going to do really shitty today".
Not many gold metal winners sat at the starting line saying "damn, I'm going to do really shitty today".
I'm going to keep that quote tucked away for later. Thanks, sen.
Walking can be a real trip
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
I have 2 kids and it just felt like a natural thing to do and I have enjoyed it (mostly ) and hopefully they will be good contributing members of society. BTW, I hated being pregnant so stopped at the 2.
I find breeding an offensive term for some reason.
Also, what if EVERYONE stopped "breeding"? That is NOT gonna happen---it is part of the human make-up to have to kids. I have no problem with people that don't want kids (by all means, if you don't want them then PLEASE, don't have them!!) but what the hell is the big problem with those that do?
So I'll just lie down and wait for the dream Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
Why have kids? For me it was just a longing at one point. Can't really put it into words, but I wanted them. They were both planned. I waited 7 years after marriage, though, to finish my education (college and graduate school) because I wanted to be able to spend time with my babies which I did.
R.i.p. Rigoberto Alpizar.
R.i.p. My Dad - May 28, 2007
R.i.p. Black Tail (cat) - Sept. 20, 2008
I see, maybe this is the wrong forum for this. Too many beautiful, loved, well-cared for children.
Maybe this is better suited for - oh, I don't know.
Any suggestions on forums that may be full of people who have a crapload of kids for all of the wrong reasons?
As a dog owner/lover, I'm sure that you have a problem with people who have 15 dogs or 40 cats that they can't/won't take care of (hell, even if they have 1 animal they won't take care of). You can see the distinction of good pet owners and bad ones... Parents are no different, there are great ones and terrible ones.
They way that you come across in this thread is the same as Peta lumping you (as a pet owner) in with the crazy cat lady or the guy with a malnourished, neglected dog tied to a tree 24/7.
My whole life
was like a picture
of a sunny day
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln
I think the problem that some of us have with a thread like this is the implication from the beginning that those who choose to parent have failed to consider that there are other choices, and are therefore wrong.
I'm all for a healthy and constructive discussion about the pros and cons of absolutely anything. I just find it offensive that my decision to have a child is viewed as irresponsible, hasty and incorrect because of the poor actions of others.
But, it is kind of funny to hear someone who doesn't have a child tell me how horrible my life is because I have one.
That biological urge is some crazy shit! I used to feel it at night. I knew my body WANTED to be with child. But, I had already decided not to have kids, so I just enjoyed as a crazy physical experience - kind of a window into the chemical responses our bodies create.
And, I love Petey. He's a lucky pup.
I felt mine kick in for the very first time after my sister gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I came home after seeing her and said to hubby....I WANT ONE! He said....what? Where did that come from??? And then he said OK...he had wanted children and I didn't. Little did I know how my addictive personality would take over, I loved having my kids, the entire process was so much fun. Now I love having my own family...because both hubbies and my sides of the families are so disfunctional, we don't see anyone very often.
Thanks for loving Petey too....Dobermans get such a bad wrap....he is just a big mush! I'm totally in love with him.
oxc
~*LIVE~LOVE~LAUGH*~
*May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
— Unknown
I think the problem that some of us have with a thread like this is the implication from the beginning that those who choose to parent have failed to consider that there are other choices, and are therefore wrong.
I'm all for a healthy and constructive discussion about the pros and cons of absolutely anything. I just find it offensive that my decision to have a child is viewed as irresponsible, hasty and incorrect because of the poor actions of others.
But, it is kind of funny to hear someone who doesn't have a child tell me how horrible my life is because I have one.
I agree that is sort of the tone the original post and some others have taken in this thread!
for me, it is more of a societal issue that the OP touches on, that basically in our culture, you are raised and expected to procreate and if you don't then you are nuts and some how less valuable to society. there's no problem with individual people who want to have kids (though I reiterate my point about many people not considering the social costs of having a litter) it's more of a societal thing.
Comments
I'm not a parent, I've always wanted to be, but I'm not in a place where I think I can offer a child all that I want to offer a child. It's definitely not a biological urge as I've wanted to be a mom since I was 6. An emotional urge? No one pushes me to be a parent, and I feel really sorry for those that are pushed upon. What a horrible thing to be pushy about.
There is absolutely nothing like watching a child grow. It is the definition of joy. To watch a child accomplish a goal is truly amazing. Just being an aunt is pretty wonderful.
The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
It's a biological urge. A strong one, I've felt it, I chose not to act on it.
I'd say I love my clean house, but the truth is, my dogs do a lot of damage.
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
well, I edited my post and added the biological urge thing. and I do agree it can be very strong. mine is just *gone* though. it's very weird. I don't really even find babies that cute anymore and I used to go nuts for them. I have some instincts you might call maternal, but I tend to take them out on caring for my friends, parents, grandmother, boyfriend, etc. I don't have the urges I used to to hold babies. and i'm not even 30 yet, I'm not like menopausal or something.
Somewhat and yes.
Too many people have kids for terrible reasons and too often those kids are destined to repeat the mistake. *Envision the broad sweeping strokes of rainbow colors*
I wish people would give having kids more thought, for the sake of the children. They will grow up and be a part of our adult society. I can sincerely say we do not need any more of my Aunt Linda's or Uncle Roy's in our world.
I'm okay with being a hypocrite, if it's for the betterment of the world.
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
My mom thought she would be a great parent. She wanted five or six kids. She had two and thankfully stopped there.
My mom is great in many respects, but literally insane in others, so you can't always fulfill your prophecies.
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
If you don't want kids.....no one should make you feel guilty about that choice. It is very expensive and extremely hard work to raise a good decent human being. You have to be completely selfless for about 20 years. I am happy that I made the choice for myself....I'm having the time of my life with my sons now that they are older, I prefer their company to anyone else that I know.
oxc
*May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
— Unknown
haha when it comes down to it, so few kids are planned. the majority of people I know who have kids say they didn't plan them.
however, I have to make a point that, if you're not using birth control of some sort...well sorry, but your kids were "planned." kids are the result of not using birth control, I'm pretty sure most adults know that.
You are not alone. I do not touch babies. My half sister gave birth to a little girl last year. I told her to call me for a visit when she's potty trained.
My maternal instincts come out with animals.
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
I agree. We decided that if she got pregnant it would be fine, but it's not like we both sat down and said ok let's work at getting pregnant. That was only the case with our youngest that we both decided that we wanted another child and we set out to do that. Also if I remember correctly there was alcohol involved in the conception of our first two.
oh I don't *mind* holding them, I just don't have strong urges to volunteer to anymore.
That biological urge is some crazy shit! I used to feel it at night. I knew my body WANTED to be with child. But, I had already decided not to have kids, so I just enjoyed as a crazy physical experience - kind of a window into the chemical responses our bodies create.
And, I love Petey. He's a lucky pup.
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
I know many people who claimed when they got married that they were going to wait a "long" time to have kids. a year later, they're lugging around diaper bags. I don't get why married people just stop using birth control, even when they don't really want kids (or want them yet). I think there is some sort of stigma to being married and using birth control or something (I don't know, I'm not married, just conjecture). For the life of me I just don't get it. How is it so different? You're living together for like 5 years, you're on the pill (or whatever), you get married, you claim you don't want any kids, but you go off the pill all of a sudden?
Actually, I've never thought of this before, but even if I wanted kids...I wouldn't risk going off the pill long enough to get pregnant. If I went off the pill, I pretty much wouldn't be able to function for a week every month, I wouldn't even be able to work. Ok, guess that settles it for me and kids!
Before having my daughter I never liked children. I actually somewhat disliked them. She was a perfect baby: she slept through the night, barely cried and ate a ton! Being a mother was easy. We spent every hour of every day together. I never asked for help from anybody. I just loved to hold her and be with her. I actually am getting all teary-eyed just writing this because now she's 11 and drives me nuts most of the time!
My 2nd daughter was not exactly planned, either, but the 3rd was!
I snagged the title from part of that website. It made me think of The Breeders and that song by Harvey Danger
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
Well when we got married we decided that we wanted to have kids and that we really didn't care if we got pregnant right away. I always wanted to have my kids while I was young. I didn't want to be the 45 year old dad lugging around a newborn, no offense to any one that fits this description. Raising kids takes a lot of energy so I figured being younger was an advantage.
Lucky you. I think they know that they scare the piss out of me, so they start crying as soon as they are in my arms. :eek:
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
Just saying....go in to it with a sketchy attitute, you will probably be a sketchy parent. I'm not saying that fulfilling a prophecy isn't a choice, it's just always better to have a good start, and even more important to follow through.
Not many gold metal winners sat at the starting line saying "damn, I'm going to do really shitty today".
haha that happens to me too.
I'm going to keep that quote tucked away for later. Thanks, sen.
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
It's probably more likely that the baby needs something or is being taken away from their care giver!
I have 2 kids and it just felt like a natural thing to do and I have enjoyed it (mostly
I find breeding an offensive term for some reason.
Also, what if EVERYONE stopped "breeding"? That is NOT gonna happen---it is part of the human make-up to have to kids. I have no problem with people that don't want kids (by all means, if you don't want them then PLEASE, don't have them!!) but what the hell is the big problem with those that do?
Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
i was only responding to your comment about 'wishing there were less children'
R.i.p. My Dad - May 28, 2007
R.i.p. Black Tail (cat) - Sept. 20, 2008
As a dog owner/lover, I'm sure that you have a problem with people who have 15 dogs or 40 cats that they can't/won't take care of (hell, even if they have 1 animal they won't take care of). You can see the distinction of good pet owners and bad ones... Parents are no different, there are great ones and terrible ones.
They way that you come across in this thread is the same as Peta lumping you (as a pet owner) in with the crazy cat lady or the guy with a malnourished, neglected dog tied to a tree 24/7.
was like a picture
of a sunny day
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln
I'm all for a healthy and constructive discussion about the pros and cons of absolutely anything. I just find it offensive that my decision to have a child is viewed as irresponsible, hasty and incorrect because of the poor actions of others.
But, it is kind of funny to hear someone who doesn't have a child tell me how horrible my life is because I have one.
I felt mine kick in for the very first time after my sister gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I came home after seeing her and said to hubby....I WANT ONE! He said....what? Where did that come from??? And then he said OK...he had wanted children and I didn't. Little did I know how my addictive personality would take over, I loved having my kids, the entire process was so much fun. Now I love having my own family...because both hubbies and my sides of the families are so disfunctional, we don't see anyone very often.
Thanks for loving Petey too....Dobermans get such a bad wrap....he is just a big mush! I'm totally in love with him.
oxc
*May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
— Unknown
I agree that is sort of the tone the original post and some others have taken in this thread!
for me, it is more of a societal issue that the OP touches on, that basically in our culture, you are raised and expected to procreate and if you don't then you are nuts and some how less valuable to society. there's no problem with individual people who want to have kids (though I reiterate my point about many people not considering the social costs of having a litter) it's more of a societal thing.