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Why Breed?
Urban Hiker
Posts: 1,312
So people have or don’t have kids for many different reasons. I know a lot of people on here have kids who are the WORLD to them. That’s a done deal, nothing I can do about it except wish you happiness, fulfillment and the strength to get through the trying times.
But, why did you have kids? Did much thought go into to it? My mom used to pressure me into having kids, saying “Everything will work itself out. You have to have kids.” That never really sat right with me.
I’ve chosen not to have children for several different reasons.
-Money. Kids cost a lot.
-If dogs are work, I don’t even want to think about the effort a child requires.
-I like a lot of time to myself. Kids come with friends and their parents, sleepovers, parent-teacher conferences and just a lot of activity that would take away from my alone time.
-My family genes are fucked up, as are my husband’s. We don’t need that bullshit continued.
-Kids are loud! I like them fine in their place, like when they’re playing at the zoo – they’re delightful. But, as soon as some brat comes screaming into my place of work I think, “Holy shit! I think my fallopian tubes just tied themselves!” :eek:
There’s a website I love that examines people’s reasons for breeding and gives answers to each of those reasons. Some good food for thought.
Need a teaser to click?
Here’s one of my faves. Reason given: Want to see a little me Real Reason Self-absorption. Lack of ego gratification. Suggested Alternatives Order custom-made, life-like doll. Create a gratifying life of your own
Here’s the website: http://www.vhemt.org/biobreed.htm ; scroll down about a third of the page for the reasons part.
For those who have decided NOT to have children, please share your reasons. For those who do have children, I'm really not looking for you defend yourself. But, you might take some time to think about the reasons you chose to breed.
Thanks!
But, why did you have kids? Did much thought go into to it? My mom used to pressure me into having kids, saying “Everything will work itself out. You have to have kids.” That never really sat right with me.
I’ve chosen not to have children for several different reasons.
-Money. Kids cost a lot.
-If dogs are work, I don’t even want to think about the effort a child requires.
-I like a lot of time to myself. Kids come with friends and their parents, sleepovers, parent-teacher conferences and just a lot of activity that would take away from my alone time.
-My family genes are fucked up, as are my husband’s. We don’t need that bullshit continued.
-Kids are loud! I like them fine in their place, like when they’re playing at the zoo – they’re delightful. But, as soon as some brat comes screaming into my place of work I think, “Holy shit! I think my fallopian tubes just tied themselves!” :eek:
There’s a website I love that examines people’s reasons for breeding and gives answers to each of those reasons. Some good food for thought.
Need a teaser to click?
Here’s one of my faves. Reason given: Want to see a little me Real Reason Self-absorption. Lack of ego gratification. Suggested Alternatives Order custom-made, life-like doll. Create a gratifying life of your own
Here’s the website: http://www.vhemt.org/biobreed.htm ; scroll down about a third of the page for the reasons part.
For those who have decided NOT to have children, please share your reasons. For those who do have children, I'm really not looking for you defend yourself. But, you might take some time to think about the reasons you chose to breed.
Thanks!
Walking can be a real trip
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"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
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Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments
AS for all the things I've done in my past to avoid getting pregnant, well I have finally paid the price I'd say!! :(
"What a stupid lamb."
"What a sick, masochistic lion."
As soon as I fell pregnant, I loved him more than anyone or anything else in the world.
Money's not an issue. (You always need more money, you can only do your best. My mum was very poor and she did a great job at raising us).
As an animal lover, I would say children are far more rewarding. Because they're flesh and blood, you love them more. (Or should).
Not all kids are loud.
Prolly the reason we love our kids is because it's unconditional. There doesn't need to be a reason as such. It's just pure love.
*Edit* When I was working, I confided in this woman. I told her I was worried that I wouldn't find my baby cute when he was born. She just laughed at me and said 'I thought the same thing but don't worry! You will!'. She was right.
I hear ya. My system was never the same after trying THE SHOT. I couldn't even go back to my trusty old Ortho Novum 777. :(
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
Are you sure??? I think parents just become selectively deaf to their children.
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
There you go then...
Money? Don't care. I actively dislike it, though I know it is a necessary evil (I also know I can't spell that word).
Social standing? Simply not interested.
Carreer? Not yet, and nothing appeals to me.
The most important thing in the world to me: family. I love my family more than anything in this world, and for some unexplainable reason, I want one of my own. If you don't want one, fine. But what I don't get is why some people who don't want kids have such a problem with other people wanting them (this is a general point and is no way aimed at the original poster).
I don't wanna think, I wanna feel
Dublin 23/08/06 Lisbon I 04/09/06 Lisbon II 05/09/06 Paris 11/09/06 Verona 16/09/06
London 18/06/07 Dusseldorf 21/06/07 Copenhagen 26/06/07 Nijmegen 28/06/07
I wish you luck in finding something to avoid that empty feeling.
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
I love kids. They're funny, they're so open-minded and it's just incredible to watch my little one develop into that little person that she is going to be. I was pretty sure I wanted kids by the time I was around 16. As I got older, that feeling grew stronger. I had a great childhood, and I look forward to experiencing my child/ren's lives with them. So, yes...a lot of thought went into my decision to be a parent.
Yes, kids cost money and lots of it. But, so do a lot of things that people want to do. I would never say "well, I'd like to go to Europe, but it's expensive...so I'll just pass on that." Instead, I will save my money and plan a trip to Europe.
Yes, kids are a lot of work. It's gratifying, though, to do things for her because I love her and it's fun to be around her. I imagine that the reason people bother to walk around behind their dog and pick up his shit is because they enjoy their dog and are also gratified by spending time with him. Plus...she'll grow up. Dogs will never ever be able to take care of their own shit. Someday, she will.
I like time alone, too, and I still get it. I do have to plan it a little more in advance, but it's still there. Plus, when I'm not alone, I'm with her. And I like her.
Yes, kids are loud. And I love it.
http://www.killsometime.com/pictures/images/Pic1215.jpg
and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
over specific principles, goals, and policies.
http://i36.tinypic.com/66j31x.jpg
(\__/)
( o.O)
(")_(")
That's cool, but did you think about other ways to watch children grow and develop (ie, mentoring, teaching, adopting) rather than creating another human being?
Kudos.
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
OMG! Hope that paint was washable.
BTW - it's not only human children who can seriously damage a house.
Here's what my baby Timber did (actually it was a work in progress, there's not much left of it now) to our couch.
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=67351232&albumID=0&imageID=3123200
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
Sound like he needs a vasectomy gift certificate.
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
Mentoring or teaching students, while very rewarding, is not a substitute for raising and loving your own family. So for people who want to have their own children...this would likely not suffice. As far as adopting goes -- I wanted to experience pregnancy/childbirth because it's part of the human experience. And it was incredible and exciting. I loved almost every minute of it.
I think I'm probably in the majority.
My 4 year old today told me she wanted to be Darth Vader. I told she's already on that side of the Force anyway, so go for it.
that about sums up my reasons for not wanting kids. im just certain i wouldnt be very happy with it. im too self-absorbed and lazy. i want to be able to have fun on my schedule.
what's that mean? it sounds very ominous.
Perhaps. But not a majority in the neighborhoods I've lived. Most parents I've met seem to really struggle financially. Even if it is covered up by all of their credit purchases.
Like I said with my family. They were like, "You just find a way."
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
These kids are going to pay for your old age pension through their taxes during their working life. So the more, the merrier.
Our first is on the way in a about a month, and we couldn't be happier.
The act of having kids isn't selfish... Sure, you can have selfish reasons for having kids, but you can also have selfish reason for getting a dog, a new car or an iPod. If anything having kids in my opinion is more self-less than selfish because of all you have to give up in your daily life... But at the same time what you get in return is 10-fold of what you give out.
was like a picture
of a sunny day
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln
I'd like for folks to find their reason and respond with their thoughts on the "real reasons" and suggested alternatives. The two pages are posted separately.
http://www.vhemt.org/whybreed1.pdf
http://www.vhemt.org/whybreed2.pdf
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
dude, i dont want kids either, but you cannot be serious here. these are not the same thing and you have to be either 1) delusional or 2) not sure about your decision and trying to rationalize it.
the other argument against kids that i think is bullshit is the selfish thing. there may be egotistical reasons for having kids, sure. but it's the dumbest "selfish" thing i ever heard becos the main reason i DONT want to have kids is becos im selfish and dont want to give up my free time and leisure life.
Unless they follow the american standard diet and become obese and diabetic before they hit middle school. Then we will be paying for them.
So, here's to good health. Cheers!
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
Financial distress is not exclusive to families with children. I know quite a few people without children (in their 20's, 30s and 40s) who are also flying by the seat of their pants where money is concerned. Lots of people live beyond their means.
this made me laugh!
in all seriousness, i do understand the desire to want children, and even children of your own. i used to want them, very much so. i certainly got married young enough, etc...but we kept pushing it off. buy a home, finish graduate school, went thru some issues, etc.....and then we finally sat down once again and discussed it and realized, we really like our lives as IS. either way, it's a BIG decision and one i HOPE everyone truly puts thought in and choose what is RIGHT for THEM.
however, i do agree....unless you have the means to support a very large family, 1 or 2 children should certainly be *enough* to fulfill the desire for a family. also, those who want kids....ANYone can have em. whether naturally or thru adoption - even better imho - anyone who truly desires to be a parent and raise a child, CAN. for those who truly DON'T want kids...why subject yourselves to the annoyance/hormones/possible failure of birth control...and go for a 'permanent' solution. that is what my husband and i did, and let's just say that taking away that 'worry' for us makes it ALL even better.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
With all due respect, why does anyone have to defend they're choice to have kids to this group or to you?
And suggested alternatives to kids? are you serious???
was like a picture
of a sunny day
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln
Hehe. Well, number one is possible. And I understand Brain of J.Lo's wanting the experience of having a child. It is a strong physical and emotional sort of urge. If not, why would people go through so much trouble with fertility treatments?
But, I think it's selfishness (even if biologically instilled) to go through so much trouble when there are other ways to be part of the lives of children.
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
there are no other ways to have your own children.
They don't. It would just be nice if people gave it more serious thought.
Yes, I actually am.
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.