emotional vs physical cheating

soulsinging

catefrances wrote:

okay then just so long as you men dont freak out when we admit to having cheated, knowing youve done the same thing but dont have the balls enough to be honest about it.

huh? okay then what? im saying dont expect a guy to be honest about cheating. we don't expect you to be honest either. and we sure as hell don't expect you to believe it when we say "i dont really care, i just want you to be honest with me dollface."

genie

soulsinging wrote:

sounds like it... you're such a chick! im the opposite, for emtional i'd go "eh, of course, i didn't want to listen to that crap." but physical and i start to second guess myself.

second guess yourself, because you'll start wondering whether you've perfomed well in bedroom department or not? whether you were able to please her down there or not?

hehe, just kidding with you soul

catefrances

soulsinging wrote:

huh? okay then what? im saying dont expect a guy to be honest about cheating. we don't expect you to be honest either. and we sure as hell don't expect you to believe it when we say "i dont really care, i just want you to be honest with me dollface."

i swear i must be fucking delusional when i think that honesty is paramount in any relationship im in. but i know thats not right, cause i can work with anything except deception and lies.

soulsinging

catefrances wrote:

i swear i must be fucking delusional when i think that honesty is paramount in any relationship im in. but i know thats not right, cause i can work with anything except deception and lies.

see, any woman who says this is ipso facto a liar. becos if a guy was truly honest with you, you'd either feel like shit or dump him within an hour. cos he'd sound an awful lot like me. sexist, piggish, crude, and indifferent. he'd tell you yes you look fat in those pants now stop fucking whining about it and let's get the fuck out of here. and so on and so forth.

genie

i don't understand how some people can be so pissed of with emotional connection.

take this for example: if two straight females are friends and have been best friends since childhood and have emotional connection between them ( i.e listen to each others problems, help each other at a difficult time ) does it mean that if one of the girl's has a boyfriend she will be looked upon as a cheater??

if answer is yes, then tell me why?

if answer is no, then surely if that girls friend was a guy that would be ok too, right?

soulsinging

genie wrote:

second guess yourself, because you'll start wondering whether you've perfomed well in bedroom department or not? whether you were able to please her down there or not?

hehe, just kidding with you soul

it's true. if a woman doesn't like the way you act or whatever, you can control and change that. if it's purely physical, there's nothing you can do about that. a bit scarier.

soulsinging

genie wrote:

i don't understand how some people can be so pissed of with emotional connection.

take this for example: if two straight females are friends and have been best friends since childhood and have emotional connection between them ( i.e listen to each others problems, help each other at a difficult time ) does it mean that if one of the girl's has a boyfriend she will be looked upon as a cheater??

if answer is yes, then tell me why?

if answer is no, then surely if that girls friend was a guy that would be ok too, right?

no, becos if that girl's friend was a guy, her bf would know he probably wants to sleep with her.

catefrances

soulsinging wrote:

see, any woman who says this is ipso facto a liar. becos if a guy was truly honest with you, you'd either feel like shit or dump him within an hour. cos he'd sound an awful lot like me. sexist, piggish, crude, and indifferent. he'd tell you yes you look fat in those pants now stop fucking whining about it and let's get the fuck out of here. and so on and so forth.

well for starters conor, i would never ask my partner's opinion on how i looked. i understand how loaded that question is and i dont play that game. if he feels the need to volunteer the information then by all means. but i dont need to be validated that way.

and you know if i ask a question i demand an honest answer cause i'm not asking just for my own amusement. i can deal with honesty. sure dependent on the question asked i might be pissed off with the answer. i just cant deal with lying, tis as simple as that. i can't deal with supposition or the other person thinking theyre doing me a favour by not telling me the truth. it is not your place to decide whether or not i can handle the truth. only i get to make that call.

MattCameronKicksButt

soulsinging wrote:

it's true. if a woman doesn't like the way you act or whatever, you can control and change that. if it's purely physical, there's nothing you can do about that. a bit scarier.

You know, everything you write (apart from the last post) makes me think of Ahnimus. You've got a flippin answer for everything!

genie

soulsinging wrote:

no, becos if that girl's friend was a guy, her bf would know he probably wants to sleep with her.

hehe, and he probably would, but if she doesn't have sex then she is not guilty in my opinion

soulsinging

catefrances wrote:

well for starters conor, i would never ask my partner's opinion on how i looked. i understand how loaded that question is and i dont play that game. if he feels the need to volunteer the information then by all means. but i dont need to be validated that way.

and you know if i ask a question i demand an honest answer cause i'm not asking just for my own amusement. i can deal with honesty. sure dependent on the question asked i might be pissed off with the answer. i just cant deal with lying, tis as simple as that. i can't deal with supposition or the other person thinking theyre doing me a favour by not telling me the truth. it is not your place to decide whether or not i can handle the truth. only i get to make that call.

and it is not your position to tell us what we can and cannot say, we get to make that call. and if you are going to be pissed, we are not going to give you that answer, becos we don't want to deal with it. tough shit, suck it up. better to opt for the possibility we can avoid the fight than offer an answer that is CERTAIN to start a fight.

MattCameronKicksButt

catefrances wrote:

it is not your place to decide whether or not i can handle the truth. only i get to make that call.

That's true.

That's why I don't ask anymore because he's always honest.

soulsinging

genie wrote:

hehe, and he probably would, but if she doesn't have sex then she is not guilty in my opinion

but he's going to be suspicious. becos what if they just had a fight and she's upst and vulnerable and drunk and the guy goes for it?

genie

catefrances wrote:

well for starters conor, i would never ask my partner's opinion on how i looked. i understand how loaded that question is and i dont play that game. if he feels the need to volunteer the information then by all means. but i dont need to be validated that way.

shit, i wish i was a bit like you in this situation....those poor guys i have put them in a difficult situation, and not just guys but women too.

though i do know two guys one is my bastard ex, and another is a dear friend of mine who told me once that dress i was wearing was not flattering for me at all, and that i would have to be really skinny to pull of that dress.

so good on them

soulsinging

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

You know, everything you write (apart from the last post) makes me think of Ahnimus. You've got a flippin answer for everything!

when it comes to relationships, yes i do

he and i used to slug it out often in the moving train.

boxwine_in_hell

GraySaturday wrote:

so im watching a talk show right now. (okay yes its tyra please dont hate me) and she is talking about people having emotional affairs. I am not having an affair emotionally or physically but the topic got me wondering...

Tyra and her "experts" are saying that often an emotional affair is far more hurtful then a physical affair. Do you agree? Have any of you become emotionally connected to someone other then your significant other?

I don't really care. I just love when Kathy Griffin makes fun of Tyra Banks.

genie

soulsinging wrote:

but he's going to be suspicious. becos what if they just had a fight and she's upst and vulnerable and drunk and the guy goes for it?

yep, i know. i can understand that completely, cause things can happen.

though mind you if a lesbian woman would ever try to come on to me, and if she was good in her teasing techniques....then who knows she might turn me into bi.

cause i never say never anymore.

decides2dream

soulsinging wrote:

when it comes to relationships, yes i do

funnt thing tho....for a man with 'all the answers' in regards to relationships/male-female dynamics...you never seem too happy in any of yours. so who's oh so smart now?

soulsinging

genie wrote:

yep, i know. i can understand that completely, cause things can happen.

though mind you if a lesbian woman would ever try to come on to me, and if she was good in her teasing techniques....then who knows she might turn me into bi.

cause i never say never anymore.

that's not cheating. that's hot. he'd not be pissed to hear you did it, he'd be pissed he didn't get to see.

catefrances

soulsinging wrote:

and it is not your position to tell us what we can and cannot say, we get to make that call. and if you are going to be pissed, we are not going to give you that answer, becos we don't want to deal with it. tough shit, suck it up. better to opt for the possibility we can avoid the fight than offer an answer that is CERTAIN to start a fight.

if i ask a question and i suspect youre lying, then believe me there is gonna be a bigger fight than if you'd told me the truth. and i dont mean me being on a fishing expedition, i mean if i am asking a question so you can come clean. strangely for a law student, you seem to have no idea how much the truth is appreciated by some.