okay then just so long as you men dont freak out when we admit to having cheated, knowing youve done the same thing but dont have the balls enough to be honest about it.
huh? okay then what? im saying dont expect a guy to be honest about cheating. we don't expect you to be honest either. and we sure as hell don't expect you to believe it when we say "i dont really care, i just want you to be honest with me dollface."
sounds like it... you're such a chick! im the opposite, for emtional i'd go "eh, of course, i didn't want to listen to that crap." but physical and i start to second guess myself.
second guess yourself, because you'll start wondering whether you've perfomed well in bedroom department or not? whether you were able to please her down there or not?
huh? okay then what? im saying dont expect a guy to be honest about cheating. we don't expect you to be honest either. and we sure as hell don't expect you to believe it when we say "i dont really care, i just want you to be honest with me dollface."
i swear i must be fucking delusional when i think that honesty is paramount in any relationship im in. but i know thats not right, cause i can work with anything except deception and lies.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
i swear i must be fucking delusional when i think that honesty is paramount in any relationship im in. but i know thats not right, cause i can work with anything except deception and lies.
see, any woman who says this is ipso facto a liar. becos if a guy was truly honest with you, you'd either feel like shit or dump him within an hour. cos he'd sound an awful lot like me. sexist, piggish, crude, and indifferent. he'd tell you yes you look fat in those pants now stop fucking whining about it and let's get the fuck out of here. and so on and so forth.
i don't understand how some people can be so pissed of with emotional connection.
take this for example: if two straight females are friends and have been best friends since childhood and have emotional connection between them ( i.e listen to each others problems, help each other at a difficult time ) does it mean that if one of the girl's has a boyfriend she will be looked upon as a cheater??
if answer is yes, then tell me why?
if answer is no, then surely if that girls friend was a guy that would be ok too, right?
second guess yourself, because you'll start wondering whether you've perfomed well in bedroom department or not? whether you were able to please her down there or not?
hehe, just kidding with you soul
it's true. if a woman doesn't like the way you act or whatever, you can control and change that. if it's purely physical, there's nothing you can do about that. a bit scarier.
i don't understand how some people can be so pissed of with emotional connection.
take this for example: if two straight females are friends and have been best friends since childhood and have emotional connection between them ( i.e listen to each others problems, help each other at a difficult time ) does it mean that if one of the girl's has a boyfriend she will be looked upon as a cheater??
if answer is yes, then tell me why?
if answer is no, then surely if that girls friend was a guy that would be ok too, right?
no, becos if that girl's friend was a guy, her bf would know he probably wants to sleep with her.
see, any woman who says this is ipso facto a liar. becos if a guy was truly honest with you, you'd either feel like shit or dump him within an hour. cos he'd sound an awful lot like me. sexist, piggish, crude, and indifferent. he'd tell you yes you look fat in those pants now stop fucking whining about it and let's get the fuck out of here. and so on and so forth.
well for starters conor, i would never ask my partner's opinion on how i looked. i understand how loaded that question is and i dont play that game. if he feels the need to volunteer the information then by all means. but i dont need to be validated that way.
and you know if i ask a question i demand an honest answer cause i'm not asking just for my own amusement. i can deal with honesty. sure dependent on the question asked i might be pissed off with the answer. i just cant deal with lying, tis as simple as that. i can't deal with supposition or the other person thinking theyre doing me a favour by not telling me the truth. it is not your place to decide whether or not i can handle the truth. only i get to make that call.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
it's true. if a woman doesn't like the way you act or whatever, you can control and change that. if it's purely physical, there's nothing you can do about that. a bit scarier.
You know, everything you write (apart from the last post) makes me think of Ahnimus. You've got a flippin answer for everything!
well for starters conor, i would never ask my partner's opinion on how i looked. i understand how loaded that question is and i dont play that game. if he feels the need to volunteer the information then by all means. but i dont need to be validated that way.
and you know if i ask a question i demand an honest answer cause i'm not asking just for my own amusement. i can deal with honesty. sure dependent on the question asked i might be pissed off with the answer. i just cant deal with lying, tis as simple as that. i can't deal with supposition or the other person thinking theyre doing me a favour by not telling me the truth. it is not your place to decide whether or not i can handle the truth. only i get to make that call.
and it is not your position to tell us what we can and cannot say, we get to make that call. and if you are going to be pissed, we are not going to give you that answer, becos we don't want to deal with it. tough shit, suck it up. better to opt for the possibility we can avoid the fight than offer an answer that is CERTAIN to start a fight.
well for starters conor, i would never ask my partner's opinion on how i looked. i understand how loaded that question is and i dont play that game. if he feels the need to volunteer the information then by all means. but i dont need to be validated that way.
shit, i wish i was a bit like you in this situation....those poor guys i have put them in a difficult situation, and not just guys but women too.
though i do know two guys one is my bastard ex, and another is a dear friend of mine who told me once that dress i was wearing was not flattering for me at all, and that i would have to be really skinny to pull of that dress.
so im watching a talk show right now. (okay yes its tyra please dont hate me) and she is talking about people having emotional affairs. I am not having an affair emotionally or physically but the topic got me wondering...
Tyra and her "experts" are saying that often an emotional affair is far more hurtful then a physical affair. Do you agree? Have any of you become emotionally connected to someone other then your significant other?
I don't really care. I just love when Kathy Griffin makes fun of Tyra Banks.
one foot in the door
the other foot in the gutter
sweet smell that they adore
I think I'd rather smother
-The Replacements-
but he's going to be suspicious. becos what if they just had a fight and she's upst and vulnerable and drunk and the guy goes for it?
yep, i know. i can understand that completely, cause things can happen.
though mind you if a lesbian woman would ever try to come on to me, and if she was good in her teasing techniques....then who knows she might turn me into bi.
funnt thing tho....for a man with 'all the answers' in regards to relationships/male-female dynamics...you never seem too happy in any of yours. so who's oh so smart now?
yep, i know. i can understand that completely, cause things can happen.
though mind you if a lesbian woman would ever try to come on to me, and if she was good in her teasing techniques....then who knows she might turn me into bi.
cause i never say never anymore.
that's not cheating. that's hot. he'd not be pissed to hear you did it, he'd be pissed he didn't get to see.
and it is not your position to tell us what we can and cannot say, we get to make that call. and if you are going to be pissed, we are not going to give you that answer, becos we don't want to deal with it. tough shit, suck it up. better to opt for the possibility we can avoid the fight than offer an answer that is CERTAIN to start a fight.
if i ask a question and i suspect youre lying, then believe me there is gonna be a bigger fight than if you'd told me the truth. and i dont mean me being on a fishing expedition, i mean if i am asking a question so you can come clean. strangely for a law student, you seem to have no idea how much the truth is appreciated by some.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
funnt thing tho....for a man with 'all the answers' in regards to relationships/male-female dynamics...you never seem too happy in any of yours. so who's oh so smart now?
not in the current one, no. i was quite happy in the previous one and i recall people commenting on that whenever i spoke of it. it's likely been eclipsed by the venom i've spewed since that relationship ended. but many of my answers come from things i learned from that one and previous ones that i finally made sense of.
if i ask a question and i suspect youre lying, then believe me there is gonna be a bigger fight than if you'd told me the truth. and i dont mean me being on a fishing expedition, i mean if i am asking a question so you can come clean. strangely for a law student, you seem to have no idea how much the truth is appreciated by some.
I think there's a few guys on this thread putting up a front concerning their heart on the matter.
if i ask a question and i suspect youre lying, then believe me there is gonna be a bigger fight than if you'd told me the truth. and i dont mean me being on a fishing expedition, i mean if i am asking a question so you can come clean. strangely for a law student, you seem to have no idea how much the truth is appreciated by some.
as a law student, i've learned that you want to be very careful about what truths you disclose to and which ones you keep to yourself.
i didn't say it was an intelligent choice, but guys aren't the best emotional manipulators nor the best fighters. women are. so a guy thinks he can defuse things with a lie. sometimes it works, sometimes not. when it doesn't he knows he's doubled his damage if he admits to lying, so he sticks to it. he can do this a remarkable amount. sometimes if he can outlast your rage, he can win. if not, he eventually cracks and the truth comes out. but in some of those cases the sense of vindication and righteousness from being proved right after such a battle leads the woman to think less of the actual act that caused it and in some sense he can win that way too. there are enough potential positive outcomes from lying to make it worthwhile. it beats the certainty of an explosion due to the truth, even if most of the time the lie only makes it worse.
im one of those people. there was a great quote in the departed that about sums it up for so many people i know (me in particular). he says something about how she has to leave becos he's irish and he will live miserably with something wrong rather than fix it.
me too
... and the will to show I will always be better than before.
yeah, once I was away from home and was visiting an old male friend and we hung out and had a lot of fun......none physical at all
and when I went home we still talked on the phone a lot and I thought that maybe it could be something better than I already was involved in but then I realized that probably any guy that I had a real relationship with would be a disappointment and I probably am better off with the type of relationships that are in your head........(and maybe in your bed----though that can't happen til the kids grow up and out) and not in my life. you know?
Baby, You Wouldn't Last a Minute on The Creek......
Together we will float like angels.........
In the moment that you left the room, the album started skipping, goodbye to beauty shared with the ones that you love.........
well what are wives if not hired long term prostitutes/housekeepers?
how can you be both???????
If I am the housekeeper I am WAY too tired to be the prostitute.
and if given a choice, I would rather have a cleaning woman come while I got a manicure/pedicure, massage, day away, etc. so I could come back home refreshed and be the prostitute that all women would be if we weren't screwed over by the prejudices we are told when we are young.
Baby, You Wouldn't Last a Minute on The Creek......
Together we will float like angels.........
In the moment that you left the room, the album started skipping, goodbye to beauty shared with the ones that you love.........
If I am the housekeeper I am WAY too tired to be the prostitute.
and if given a choice, I would rather have a cleaning woman come while I got a manicure/pedicure, massage, day away, etc. so I could come back home refreshed and be the prostitute that all women would be if we weren't screwed over by the prejudices we are told when we are young.
sounds like a hard day there. how about really getting over their prejudices and... i dont know... try working instead of spending his money?
not in the current one, no. i was quite happy in the previous one and i recall people commenting on that whenever i spoke of it. it's likely been eclipsed by the venom i've spewed since that relationship ended. but many of my answers come from things i learned from that one and previous ones that i finally made sense of.
point is, you DON'T 'have all the answers'...no one does. to think you do, is foolhardy at best. every person, every relationship is different. sure, you learn as you go...but you should NOT take 'baggage' from one person to the next...let each be him/herself....take it from there.
anyhoo...i was just calling you on your shite that i know you love to post. all those easy answers. i really am not interested in another back/forth about you, there seems to be plenty of others here who enjoy discussing you/your relationships with you...i was just taking on that ONE comment.
bottomline, i simply do not believe there is a one-size-fits-all approach to relationships, so certainly not on the specific topic of cheating.
Comments
huh? okay then what? im saying dont expect a guy to be honest about cheating. we don't expect you to be honest either. and we sure as hell don't expect you to believe it when we say "i dont really care, i just want you to be honest with me dollface."
second guess yourself, because you'll start wondering whether you've perfomed well in bedroom department or not? whether you were able to please her down there or not?
hehe, just kidding with you soul
i swear i must be fucking delusional when i think that honesty is paramount in any relationship im in. but i know thats not right, cause i can work with anything except deception and lies.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
see, any woman who says this is ipso facto a liar. becos if a guy was truly honest with you, you'd either feel like shit or dump him within an hour. cos he'd sound an awful lot like me. sexist, piggish, crude, and indifferent. he'd tell you yes you look fat in those pants now stop fucking whining about it and let's get the fuck out of here. and so on and so forth.
take this for example: if two straight females are friends and have been best friends since childhood and have emotional connection between them ( i.e listen to each others problems, help each other at a difficult time ) does it mean that if one of the girl's has a boyfriend she will be looked upon as a cheater??
if answer is yes, then tell me why?
if answer is no, then surely if that girls friend was a guy that would be ok too, right?
it's true. if a woman doesn't like the way you act or whatever, you can control and change that. if it's purely physical, there's nothing you can do about that. a bit scarier.
no, becos if that girl's friend was a guy, her bf would know he probably wants to sleep with her.
well for starters conor, i would never ask my partner's opinion on how i looked. i understand how loaded that question is and i dont play that game. if he feels the need to volunteer the information then by all means. but i dont need to be validated that way.
and you know if i ask a question i demand an honest answer cause i'm not asking just for my own amusement. i can deal with honesty. sure dependent on the question asked i might be pissed off with the answer. i just cant deal with lying, tis as simple as that. i can't deal with supposition or the other person thinking theyre doing me a favour by not telling me the truth. it is not your place to decide whether or not i can handle the truth. only i get to make that call.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
You know, everything you write (apart from the last post) makes me think of Ahnimus.
hehe, and he probably would, but if she doesn't have sex then she is not guilty in my opinion
and it is not your position to tell us what we can and cannot say, we get to make that call. and if you are going to be pissed, we are not going to give you that answer, becos we don't want to deal with it. tough shit, suck it up. better to opt for the possibility we can avoid the fight than offer an answer that is CERTAIN to start a fight.
That's true.
That's why I don't ask anymore because he's always honest.
but he's going to be suspicious. becos what if they just had a fight and she's upst and vulnerable and drunk and the guy goes for it?
shit, i wish i was a bit like you in this situation....those poor guys i have put them in a difficult situation, and not just guys but women too.
though i do know two guys one is my bastard ex, and another is a dear friend of mine who told me once that dress i was wearing was not flattering for me at all, and that i would have to be really skinny to pull of that dress.
so good on them
when it comes to relationships, yes i do
he and i used to slug it out often in the moving train.
I don't really care. I just love when Kathy Griffin makes fun of Tyra Banks.
the other foot in the gutter
sweet smell that they adore
I think I'd rather smother
-The Replacements-
yep, i know. i can understand that completely, cause things can happen.
though mind you if a lesbian woman would ever try to come on to me, and if she was good in her teasing techniques....then who knows she might turn me into bi.
cause i never say never anymore.
funnt thing tho....for a man with 'all the answers' in regards to relationships/male-female dynamics...you never seem too happy in any of yours.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
that's not cheating. that's hot. he'd not be pissed to hear you did it, he'd be pissed he didn't get to see.
if i ask a question and i suspect youre lying, then believe me there is gonna be a bigger fight than if you'd told me the truth. and i dont mean me being on a fishing expedition, i mean if i am asking a question so you can come clean. strangely for a law student, you seem to have no idea how much the truth is appreciated by some.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
not in the current one, no. i was quite happy in the previous one and i recall people commenting on that whenever i spoke of it. it's likely been eclipsed by the venom i've spewed since that relationship ended. but many of my answers come from things i learned from that one and previous ones that i finally made sense of.
hehe, typical male answer
I think there's a few guys on this thread putting up a front concerning their heart on the matter.
all posts by ©gue_barium are protected under US copyright law and are not to be reproduced, exchanged or sold
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...and gals, too.
all posts by ©gue_barium are protected under US copyright law and are not to be reproduced, exchanged or sold
except by express written permission of ©gue_barium, the author.
as a law student, i've learned that you want to be very careful about what truths you disclose to and which ones you keep to yourself.
i didn't say it was an intelligent choice, but guys aren't the best emotional manipulators nor the best fighters. women are. so a guy thinks he can defuse things with a lie. sometimes it works, sometimes not. when it doesn't he knows he's doubled his damage if he admits to lying, so he sticks to it. he can do this a remarkable amount. sometimes if he can outlast your rage, he can win. if not, he eventually cracks and the truth comes out. but in some of those cases the sense of vindication and righteousness from being proved right after such a battle leads the woman to think less of the actual act that caused it and in some sense he can win that way too. there are enough potential positive outcomes from lying to make it worthwhile. it beats the certainty of an explosion due to the truth, even if most of the time the lie only makes it worse.
me too
and when I went home we still talked on the phone a lot and I thought that maybe it could be something better than I already was involved in but then I realized that probably any guy that I had a real relationship with would be a disappointment and I probably am better off with the type of relationships that are in your head........(and maybe in your bed----though that can't happen til the kids grow up and out) and not in my life. you know?
Together we will float like angels.........
In the moment that you left the room, the album started skipping, goodbye to beauty shared with the ones that you love.........
how can you be both???????
If I am the housekeeper I am WAY too tired to be the prostitute.
and if given a choice, I would rather have a cleaning woman come while I got a manicure/pedicure, massage, day away, etc. so I could come back home refreshed and be the prostitute that all women would be if we weren't screwed over by the prejudices we are told when we are young.
Together we will float like angels.........
In the moment that you left the room, the album started skipping, goodbye to beauty shared with the ones that you love.........
sounds like a hard day there. how about really getting over their prejudices and... i dont know... try working instead of spending his money?
point is, you DON'T 'have all the answers'...no one does. to think you do, is foolhardy at best. every person, every relationship is different. sure, you learn as you go...but you should NOT take 'baggage' from one person to the next...let each be him/herself....take it from there.
anyhoo...i was just calling you on your shite that i know you love to post. all those easy answers.
bottomline, i simply do not believe there is a one-size-fits-all approach to relationships, so certainly not on the specific topic of cheating.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow