emotional vs physical cheating
GraySaturday
Posts: 2,878
so im watching a talk show right now. (okay yes its tyra please dont hate me) and she is talking about people having emotional affairs. I am not having an affair emotionally or physically but the topic got me wondering...
Tyra and her "experts" are saying that often an emotional affair is far more hurtful then a physical affair. Do you agree? Have any of you become emotionally connected to someone other then your significant other?
Tyra and her "experts" are saying that often an emotional affair is far more hurtful then a physical affair. Do you agree? Have any of you become emotionally connected to someone other then your significant other?
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This one is divided between genders .......most woman will be more hurt by a violation of their trust and love via a partner having a strong emotional connection with someone ......... where as most guys will have a real problem with somebody playing hide the salami with their princess!
it depends on who's being cheated on. most guys are far more concerned about her physically cheating. i'd not care at all if my gal was sharing all her feelings with another guy and swooning over him as long as she's not fucking him and still putting out for me. this is becos biologically speaking, the man needs to worry more about expending his resources to care for another man's offspring.
to women, the emotional fidelity is what's key. they need that bond and when their man seeks it elsewhere, it seems to hurt them badly. they seem to worry less about their guy banging his intern when they see him come home happy to see her and loving her. it's when he gets distant and withdrawn and shares his emotions elsewhere that women start to get upset. biolgogically and evolutionarily speaking, they are more concerned about being able to count on his support in raising the children they have than him getting his casual jollies off elsewhere now and again.
well i dont think anybody is particularly happy with either option, but the one seems to be harder than the other depending on who the cheated is.
it's like in high fidelity where he's fine until he finds out she's nailing someone else. i went through the same thing. the breakup was hard but once i found out she was getting on the pill (which id urged her to do) so she could fuck her new man i flipped the hell out.
In my case it was the lack of love at home. I was always looking for a connection outside of the home.
sounds like it... you're such a chick! im the opposite, for emtional i'd go "eh, of course, i didn't want to listen to that crap." but physical and i start to second guess myself.
I think I would have to choke a bitch-boy if he went elsewhere for emotional relationship needs...
if he fucked someone else, i think I would be a bit bitchy about getting his ass tested, and be a whole lot merciless about making him feel like shit.
but clearly - it wouldnt be a deal breaker...like an emotional connection to another woman would be. that would hurt and there would be no coming back from that.
it implies that I was just a fuck bag. and that is really not cool, if i am emotionally invested then he better be too.
well, if you wanna get complicated, what is cheating? is her letting some guy kiss her for a second when drunk cheating if she stops it once she realizes what's going on? is flirting cheating? what about having deep conversations about one's dreams or disappointments?
what about:
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well what are wives if not hired long term prostitutes/housekeepers?
dude, I agree if by that same notion men are loan officers.
of course, this is implying that i clean the house and fuck when i am not in the mood...
my bf cleans with me (sometimes more than I do) and well, honestly I am very rarely not in the mood...
it's a release for women too.
when I said fuck bag - i meant it in the idea that physically he 'needs a hole" but for talking well that isn't what i am for...
seriously though, I dont do the whole "tell me what you're thinking" bullshit talking...I am more like a dude/buddy...so honestly I would be major surprised if my bf was emotionally attached to someone else.
i know, im just saying cheating, especially emotional cheating, isnt very easy to define.
i was just fucking around and being a dick. i know what you mean.
well in that case- i could use your dick, provided we don't really have conversations (as specified above)...and then if my bf ever decides that he wants to try another flavor, I can't give him too much shit about it.
except, as i pointed out, you getting physical with another guy is to him what him getting emotionally involved with another woman is to you.
to him, it means that you're just using him as a paycheck/emotional punching bag when you're on the rag. that you don't desire him and he doesn't please you physically. a huge deal to a guy. that was the point. men and women are opposites on this one.
That's just silly. I do it all the time but I call it a crush.
So you'd let your boyfriend fuck other girls as long as he doesn't get emotionally involved? Wow, I wish my girl was this open minded and/or have low enough self-esteem to take my cheating ass back afterwards....Unfortunately in my case, it is CLEARLY a deal breaker..
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
yeah...I know I got your point. but wouldn't it be a really smart way of proving your point to my bf who has never heard your point???
I like to say "nail file" instead of emotional punching bag...
I am kidding. seriously not really a bitch...
but I think that I would have similar feelings of being undesirable, and I would wonder about my abilities if he physically cheated - I would just be more apt to get over those feelings and maybe turn very passive aggressive about the affair - but once again not a deal breaker...I get it that it would equate to emotional affairs to a woman, but I wonder if your style of man would respond to emotional affairs similarly??
I dont think my question made sense...sorry...
i think a guy would get suspicious or jealous, but see nothing wrong until or unless you started sleeping with the other guy.
woah, low self esteem red flag.
um, nope I don't "let" my boyfriend do anything. it is a matter of him being an adult. if he CHOSE to fuck another girl, I would of course be disappointed...and upset. I would not want him near me with a spottled up dick until it was proved safe. I would maybe hit him really hard in the sac, give him a blue ball treat whatever and be able to constantly allude to his cheating moment.
it would obviously change the dynamic of our relationship, and I would have a level of power that would actually turn me into the type of bitch that I don't like...but in all honesty, that would play out.
but I would still be with him...because my sig other is a person that I really love and care deeply about. because his CHOICE was a mistake, and there was no real vested interest in this other female.
maybe it's like i would be horrible about it but once the scent figuratively dissipates, I think all told we have more together emotionally than one bad trip could shake.
of course, if it becomes a habit that says something entirely different about the dynamic that I thought we had.
does that make sense??
i just added u on facebook
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Yes, it makes sense, but it's like you're already making excuses for him. Of course he'd tell you that it's a one time mistake, but more than likely, if he is/was willing to do it once, he'll do it again. Especially if he got away with the first time! Are you kidding, he'll be fucking like a little bunny rabbit and know you'll forgive him. Or i'm not sure what you mean by 'habit.' Is twice a habit, or every now and again considered a habit and thus not okay with you?
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
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