emotional vs physical cheating

GraySaturday

so im watching a talk show right now. (okay yes its tyra please dont hate me) and she is talking about people having emotional affairs. I am not having an affair emotionally or physically but the topic got me wondering...

Tyra and her "experts" are saying that often an emotional affair is far more hurtful then a physical affair. Do you agree? Have any of you become emotionally connected to someone other then your significant other?

gue_barium

GraySaturday wrote:

so im watching a talk show right now. (okay yes its tyra please dont hate me) and she is talking about people having emotional affairs. I am not having an affair emotionally or physically but the topic got me wondering...

Tyra and her "experts" are saying that often an emotional affair is far more hurtful then a physical affair. Do you agree? Have any of you become emotionally connected to someone other then your significant other?

If your heart isn't with the one you're with...

Hawkshore

GraySaturday wrote:

so im watching a talk show right now. (okay yes its tyra please dont hate me) and she is talking about people having emotional affairs. I am not having an affair emotionally or physically but the topic got me wondering...

Tyra and her "experts" are saying that often an emotional affair is far more hurtful then a physical affair. Do you agree? Have any of you become emotionally connected to someone other then your significant other?

This one is divided between genders .......most woman will be more hurt by a violation of their trust and love via a partner having a strong emotional connection with someone ......... where as most guys will have a real problem with somebody playing hide the salami with their princess!

soulsinging

GraySaturday wrote:

so im watching a talk show right now. (okay yes its tyra please dont hate me) and she is talking about people having emotional affairs. I am not having an affair emotionally or physically but the topic got me wondering...

Tyra and her "experts" are saying that often an emotional affair is far more hurtful then a physical affair. Do you agree? Have any of you become emotionally connected to someone other then your significant other?

it depends on who's being cheated on. most guys are far more concerned about her physically cheating. i'd not care at all if my gal was sharing all her feelings with another guy and swooning over him as long as she's not fucking him and still putting out for me. this is becos biologically speaking, the man needs to worry more about expending his resources to care for another man's offspring.

to women, the emotional fidelity is what's key. they need that bond and when their man seeks it elsewhere, it seems to hurt them badly. they seem to worry less about their guy banging his intern when they see him come home happy to see her and loving her. it's when he gets distant and withdrawn and shares his emotions elsewhere that women start to get upset. biolgogically and evolutionarily speaking, they are more concerned about being able to count on his support in raising the children they have than him getting his casual jollies off elsewhere now and again.

GraySaturday

soulsinging wrote:

it depends on who's being cheated on. most guys are far more concerned about her physically cheating. i'd not care at all if my gal was sharing all her feelings with another guy and swooning over him as long as she's not fucking him and still putting out for me. this is becos biologically speaking, the man needs to worry more about expending his resources to care for another man's offspring.

to women, the emotional fidelity is what's key. they need that bond and when their man seeks it elsewhere, it seems to hurt them badly. they seem to worry less about their guy banging his intern when they see him come home happy to see her and loving her. it's when he gets distant and withdrawn and shares his emotions elsewhere that women start to get upset. biolgogically and evolutionarily speaking, they are more concerned about being able to count on his support in raising the children they have than him getting his casual jollies off elsewhere now and again.

so true. Well said. There are many women that I've known that totally hit your description on the head. I personally would be pissed in both instances.

soulsinging

GraySaturday wrote:

so true. Well said. There are many women that I've known that totally hit your description on the head. I personally would be pissed in both instances.

well i dont think anybody is particularly happy with either option, but the one seems to be harder than the other depending on who the cheated is.

it's like in high fidelity where he's fine until he finds out she's nailing someone else. i went through the same thing. the breakup was hard but once i found out she was getting on the pill (which id urged her to do) so she could fuck her new man i flipped the hell out.

GraySaturday

soulsinging wrote:

well i dont think anybody is particularly happy with either option, but the one seems to be harder than the other depending on who the cheated is.

it's like in high fidelity where he's fine until he finds out she's nailing someone else. i went through the same thing. the breakup was hard but once i found out she was getting on the pill (which id urged her to do) so she could fuck her new man i flipped the hell out.

agreed. I'd have to say that a physical affair would make me mad, but I'd be more like. Have a nice life f-er. However if it were emotional I would get all wrapped up in it and possibly question myself. Emotional would be way harder for me to get over and trust again. Maybe I am girly after all

rearviewmiror

It's not a good road to go down. I know. I know it's possible to love 2 people, but generally there is a reason why.

In my case it was the lack of love at home. I was always looking for a connection outside of the home.

soulsinging

GraySaturday wrote:

agreed. I'd have to say that a physical affair would make me mad, but I'd be more like. Have a nice life f-er. However if it were emotional I would get all wrapped up in it and possibly question myself. Emotional would be way harder for me to get over and trust again. Maybe I am girly after all

sounds like it... you're such a chick! im the opposite, for emtional i'd go "eh, of course, i didn't want to listen to that crap." but physical and i start to second guess myself.

BrotherPit

ok they say women cheat b/c of a lack of emotional connection and men because of physical attraction...but you know what they are both awful and hurtful. cheating is cheating, isn't it??

failedpersephone

GraySaturday wrote:

so im watching a talk show right now. (okay yes its tyra please dont hate me) and she is talking about people having emotional affairs. I am not having an affair emotionally or physically but the topic got me wondering...

Tyra and her "experts" are saying that often an emotional affair is far more hurtful then a physical affair. Do you agree? Have any of you become emotionally connected to someone other then your significant other?

I think I would have to choke a bitch-boy if he went elsewhere for emotional relationship needs...

if he fucked someone else, i think I would be a bit bitchy about getting his ass tested, and be a whole lot merciless about making him feel like shit.

but clearly - it wouldnt be a deal breaker...like an emotional connection to another woman would be. that would hurt and there would be no coming back from that.

it implies that I was just a fuck bag. and that is really not cool, if i am emotionally invested then he better be too.

soulsinging

BrotherPit wrote:

ok they say women cheat b/c of a lack of emotional connection and men because of physical attraction...but you know what they are both awful and hurtful. cheating is cheating, isn't it??

well, if you wanna get complicated, what is cheating? is her letting some guy kiss her for a second when drunk cheating if she stops it once she realizes what's going on? is flirting cheating? what about having deep conversations about one's dreams or disappointments?

GraySaturday

failedpersephone wrote:

I think I would have to choke a bitch-boy if he went elsewhere for emotional relationship needs...

if he fucked someone else, i think I would be a bit bitchy about getting his ass tested, and be a whole lot merciless about making him feel like shit.

but clearly - it wouldnt be a deal breaker...like an emotional connection to another woman would be. that would hurt and there would be no coming back from that.
it implies that I was just a fuck bag. and that is really not cool, if i am emotionally invested then he better be too.

i love this response!

upina2001

gue_barium wrote:

If your heart isn't with the one you're with...

what about:

Love the One You’re With
by Stephen Stills

If you’re down and confused, and you don’t remember who you’re talkin’ to. Concentration slip away, ‘cause your baby is so far away.

Well there’s a rose in the fisted glove and the eagle flies with the dove, and if you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with.

even flow?

How is Tyra looking today?

soulsinging

failedpersephone wrote:

I think I would have to choke a bitch-boy if he went elsewhere for emotional relationship needs...

if he fucked someone else, i think I would be a bit bitchy about getting his ass tested, and be a whole lot merciless about making him feel like shit.

but clearly - it wouldnt be a deal breaker...like an emotional connection to another woman would be. that would hurt and there would be no coming back from that.

it implies that I was just a fuck bag. and that is really not cool, if i am emotionally invested then he better be too.

well what are wives if not hired long term prostitutes/housekeepers?

GraySaturday

soulsinging wrote:

well, if you wanna get complicated, what is cheating? is her letting some guy kiss her for a second when drunk cheating if she stops it once she realizes what's going on? is flirting cheating? what about having deep conversations about one's dreams or disappointments?

no on the deep conversations. I love to have deep convos with my friends. I feel like I know them better and can be the best friend I can be to them.

GraySaturday

soulsinging wrote:

well what are wives if not hired long term prostitutes/housekeepers?

my husband got sorely burned if i was the hired housekeeper.

failedpersephone

soulsinging wrote:

well what are wives if not hired long term prostitutes/housekeepers?

dude, I agree if by that same notion men are loan officers.

of course, this is implying that i clean the house and fuck when i am not in the mood...

my bf cleans with me (sometimes more than I do) and well, honestly I am very rarely not in the mood...

it's a release for women too.

when I said fuck bag - i meant it in the idea that physically he 'needs a hole" but for talking well that isn't what i am for...
seriously though, I dont do the whole "tell me what you're thinking" bullshit talking...I am more like a dude/buddy...so honestly I would be major surprised if my bf was emotionally attached to someone else.

soulsinging

GraySaturday wrote:

no on the deep conversations. I love to have deep convos with my friends. I feel like I know them better and can be the best friend I can be to them.

i know, im just saying cheating, especially emotional cheating, isnt very easy to define.

soulsinging

failedpersephone wrote:

dude, I agree if by that same notion men are loan officers.

of course, this is implying that i clean the house and fuck when i am not in the mood...

my bf cleans with me (sometimes more than I do) and well, honestly I am very rarely not in the mood...

it's a release for women too.

when I said fuck bag - i meant it in the idea that physically he 'needs a hole" but for talking well that isn't what i am for...
seriously though, I dont do the whole "tell me what you're thinking" bullshit talking...I am more like a dude/buddy...so honestly I would be major surprised if my bf was emotionally attached to someone else.

i was just fucking around and being a dick. i know what you mean.