um, nope I don't "let" my boyfriend do anything. it is a matter of him being an adult. if he CHOSE to fuck another girl, I would of course be disappointed...and upset. I would not want him near me with a spottled up dick until it was proved safe. I would maybe hit him really hard in the sac, give him a blue ball treat whatever and be able to constantly allude to his cheating moment.
it would obviously change the dynamic of our relationship, and I would have a level of power that would actually turn me into the type of bitch that I don't like...but in all honesty, that would play out.
but I would still be with him...because my sig other is a person that I really love and care deeply about. because his CHOICE was a mistake, and there was no real vested interest in this other female.
maybe it's like i would be horrible about it but once the scent figuratively dissipates, I think all told we have more together emotionally than one bad trip could shake.
of course, if it becomes a habit that says something entirely different about the dynamic that I thought we had.
does that make sense??
I understand what you mean.
1 quick bonk isn't nearly as bad as him wanting to spend his life with someone else.
1 quick bonk isn't nearly as bad as him wanting to spend his life with someone else.
I'm surprised with the chicks here that are okay with being cheated on..
'I want to hurry home to you
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
I'm surprised with the chicks here that are okay with being cheated on..
No one said it's okay to be cheated on.
Just saying if we had to put up with it. Rather him sleep with someone else because he just wanted sex rather than him being madly in love with someone else that he would ultimately leave me for anyway.
like most things, i think it depends entirely on the people involved. one may think it divides by gender lines, and more often than not, i'd agree with that statement. however, i know men who've flipped over their wives having 'emotional' affairs.....and women who went nutty over physical ones. it really depends on the couple, and the 'whys' of it. are needs being met at home? physical and/or emotional? are both aware of these issues, working on them or ignoring them, etc? i think once you are truly emotionally involved with someone, have your lives invested in each other, truly lovers/best friends....it is more than possible to move past ANYthing, if BOTH truly WANT to. emotional or physical....they both hurt.....it's looking at the relationship and saying 'is it worth saving'...and that depends entirely on the couple involved.
....it is more than possible to move past ANYthing, if BOTH truly WANT to. emotional or physical....they both hurt.....it's looking at the relationship and saying 'is it worth saving'...and that depends entirely on the couple involved.
Bottom line as far as I can see? If you're keeping it from your partner then it's cheating. (well not their suprise birthday party obviously!) But if you're keeping it from them because you know it would change how they see you, break the trust they have in you, be hurt by your actions. It's cheating. If you're not telling it's because you know the outcome. So if you develop a great emotional connection with someone else and your partner knows about it and they're not uncomfortable with it, then it's not cheating. Cheating would be when you do something that you know your partner would neither be happy about or condone. I know plenty of guys who's wifes and girlfriends have started internet romances and the guys have been devestated about it so I'm not sure that I agree that it's different for guys than girls. And I have women friends whose partners have cheated but it's more important to them that they don't lose the father of their children. I think as you get older you have different wants and needs from a relationship. Personally if I found out that I was being cheated on either physically OR emotionally I'd be kicking that arse to the curb. AND more importantly if I found out you were LYING to me your arse would be gone too. And that would apply to friendships as much as relationships.
I think there is a level of truth to this post that was overlooked.
for the record, my bf understands me and my humor/attitudes so when he hears me talking about chatting up someone - he just chuckles because unless there is "real" face time, it's just me doing some truthful jawing -and likewise, he can make comments/statements about other women (not piggish ones...that shit does NOT fly with me) but I know that he has no desire or need to go elsewhere. I like to tell the truth in a humorous almost unbelievable way...so if I am at work and someone comments about my stockings or something I will say something like "well too bad you didn't pay for the gold membership status on my website you might get a show of garter snapping" ya know?? (there is no website...but the garter thing is true and I am a smart ass about stupid physical inspired compliments) That often leads to bizarre levels of flirting...but my boyfriend hears about it all and generally laughs.
The same can go for him, case in point, my boyfriend told me about this woman that works with him that he had a "crush" on - he was practically babbling about how he thought she was cute blah blah blah...and you know what? I never felt any jealousy or fear about it...but if he had never told me about her and I found out later that he had "secret" feelings (physical feelings) I would be nervous about our relationship...
IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
so im watching a talk show right now. (okay yes its tyra please dont hate me) and she is talking about people having emotional affairs. I am not having an affair emotionally or physically but the topic got me wondering...
Tyra and her "experts" are saying that often an emotional affair is far more hurtful then a physical affair. Do you agree? Have any of you become emotionally connected to someone other then your significant other?
Yes, it makes sense, but it's like you're already making excuses for him. Of course he'd tell you that it's a one time mistake, but more than likely, if he is/was willing to do it once, he'll do it again. Especially if he got away with the first time! Are you kidding, he'll be fucking like a little bunny rabbit and know you'll forgive him. Or i'm not sure what you mean by 'habit.' Is twice a habit, or every now and again considered a habit and thus not okay with you?
a habit doesnt mean that he feels the need to fuck like a bunny rabbit any cottontails that he finds.
it means that if, after we went through the drama (described in a previous post) he did the same thing again (for equally physical reasons) then, I think I would have to consider him habitually unsatisfied by me sexually and give him the big send off.
and for ever afterwards in my head he would be called the "manjoso" (or however that spanglish word for gluttony pig is spelled)
IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
I think there is a level of truth to this post that was overlooked.
for the record, my bf understands me and my humor/attitudes so when he hears me talking about chatting up someone - he just chuckles because unless there is "real" face time, it's just me doing some truthful jawing -and likewise, he can make comments/statements about other women (not piggish ones...that shit does NOT fly with me) but I know that he has no desire or need to go elsewhere. I like to tell the truth in a humorous almost unbelievable way...so if I am at work and someone comments about my stockings or something I will say something like "well too bad you didn't pay for the gold membership status on my website you might get a show of garter snapping" ya know?? (there is no website...but the garter thing is true and I am a smart ass about stupid physical inspired compliments) That often leads to bizarre levels of flirting...but my boyfriend hears about it all and generally laughs.
The same can go for him, case in point, my boyfriend told me about this woman that works with him that he had a "crush" on - he was practically babbling about how he thought she was cute blah blah blah...and you know what? I never felt any jealousy or fear about it...but if he had never told me about her and I found out later that he had "secret" feelings (physical feelings) I would be nervous about our relationship...
That's exactly what I'm talking about. ^
Whenever I've been cheated on it's the lying and deception that's gone on to "hide" the cheating that has been more hurtful to me than any actual act itself. I mean sure yes, it hurts to know that someone you love screwed someone else, BUT that they lied about it repeatedly to cover it up (and I really have NO IDEA why you'd bother :rolleyes: ) well that is the the thing that made me completely reassess the relationship. Not the cheating.
The way I see it if you do screw around that's cool, if your partner accepts that and has no problem with it. And if you got a crush or a bit of flirty back and forth going on with someone else the greatest thing you can do in that situation is tell your partner. Share it with them. So they know, that yeah, I'm not blind or numb, I am attracted to this person BUT I'm telling you about it because how you feel MEANS MORE to me. I dunno seems to me that what you got going on is a bit of looking in the cake shop window but all cakes consumed at your place are baked at home. You're being clear with your partner and they with you so nobody has to doubt where the loyalty lies. That's a really powerful and important thing to have in a relationship.
the way they were talking about it was having a signicant other and sharing everything except any physical relationship. Except the example on thw show was holding hands and hugging his emotional attachment. Its all very fuzzy i think. Fine fine line to walk. Not my cup of tea.
hmmn, I suppose it would be honestly referring to women by their body parts or slang for their body parts...honestly, not with a level of humor or joke-perv vibe.
I can and do speak fluent "Locker Room" but, there is a level of gentlemanliness that seems to be able to pull off joke perv...whereas, I have heard men calling other women (and prolly when i was not there calling me this as well) "pig holes" "cunt" and ya know other terms of the same ilk...and they meant it. not like a joke or trying to be a big man but like, it was an acceptable expression.
I jokingly say "cuntsticks" and "dickhole" and such, but it's like "asshole" or "shit for brains" it's not meant to be used to actually describe an anus or other sexualized body part...it is used as a vague derogatory expression for the person as a whole...and has as much meaning to me as calling someone a "jerk"
so, in short, do not call me a "cunt" unless you make it funny and are not referring to me by a slang term for my vagina.
IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
That's exactly what I'm talking about. ^
Whenever I've been cheated on it's the lying and deception that's gone on to "hide" the cheating that has been more hurtful to me than any actual act itself. I mean sure yes, it hurts to know that someone you love screwed someone else, BUT that they lied about it repeatedly to cover it up (and I really have NO IDEA why you'd bother :rolleyes: ) well that is the the thing that made me completely reassess the relationship. Not the cheating.
The way I see it if you do screw around that's cool, if your partner accepts that and has no problem with it. And if you got a crush or a bit of flirty back and forth going on with someone else the greatest thing you can do in that situation is tell your partner. Share it with them. So they know, that yeah, I'm not blind or numb, I am attracted to this person BUT I'm telling you about it because how you feel MEANS MORE to me. I dunno seems to me that what you got going on is a bit of looking in the cake shop window but all cakes consumed at your place are baked at home. You're being clear with your partner and they with you so nobody has to doubt where the loyalty lies. That's a really powerful and important thing to have in a relationship.
my gf bursts into tears anytime i mention having dated other girls before her in the most roundabout way. i rather doubt she would at all be ok with me telling her ive been flirting with a classmate or think another girl is cute.
hmmn, I suppose it would be honestly referring to women by their body parts or slang for their body parts...honestly, not with a level of humor or joke-perv vibe.
I can and do speak fluent "Locker Room" but, there is a level of gentlemanliness that seems to be able to pull off joke perv...whereas, I have heard men calling other women (and prolly when i was not there calling me this as well) "pig holes" "cunt" and ya know other terms of the same ilk...and they meant it. not like a joke or trying to be a big man but like, it was an acceptable expression.
I jokingly say "cuntsticks" and "dickhole" and such, but it's like "asshole" or "shit for brains" it's not meant to be used to actually describe an anus or other sexualized body part...it is used as a vague derogatory expression for the person as a whole...and has as much meaning to me as calling someone a "jerk"
so, in short, do not call me a "cunt" unless you make it funny and are not referring to me by a slang term for my vagina.
hmmn, I suppose it would be honestly referring to women by their body parts or slang for their body parts...honestly, not with a level of humor or joke-perv vibe.
I can and do speak fluent "Locker Room" but, there is a level of gentlemanliness that seems to be able to pull off joke perv...whereas, I have heard men calling other women (and prolly when i was not there calling me this as well) "pig holes" "cunt" and ya know other terms of the same ilk...and they meant it. not like a joke or trying to be a big man but like, it was an acceptable expression.
I jokingly say "cuntsticks" and "dickhole" and such, but it's like "asshole" or "shit for brains" it's not meant to be used to actually describe an anus or other sexualized body part...it is used as a vague derogatory expression for the person as a whole...and has as much meaning to me as calling someone a "jerk"
so, in short, do not call me a "cunt" unless you make it funny and are not referring to me by a slang term for my vagina.
my gf bursts into tears anytime i mention having dated other girls before her in the most roundabout way. i rather doubt she would at all be ok with me telling her ive been flirting with a classmate or think another girl is cute.
I'd say that you got bigger problems afoot then.
A reasonable person with a healthy self esteem, that has trust in their partner does not need to crack up crying at the very mention of what went on before them or expect that their partner doesn't have a history. If it's not something she can cope with then I'd say she needs to be asking herself why or finding someone with NO previous partners.
I'd say that you got bigger problems afoot then.
A reasonable person with a healthy self esteem, that has trust in their partner does not need to crack up crying at the very mention of what went on before them or expect that their partner doesn't have a history. If it's not something she can cope with then I'd say she needs to be asking herself why or finding someone with NO previous partners.
she didn't have any, which might be why she has no healthy self esteem. it's wearing me out. i'll take getting fucked over by a bitch who knows she doesn't need me over this walking on eggshells shit.
Just saying if we had to put up with it. Rather him sleep with someone else because he just wanted sex rather than him being madly in love with someone else that he would ultimately leave me for anyway.
she didn't have any, which might be why she has no healthy self esteem. it's wearing me out. i'll take getting fucked over by a bitch who knows she doesn't need me over this walking on eggshells shit.
Well you can only decide if you wanna stay in it and work toward it being a non issue (as it should be) or accept that it's not working and move on. It's not like you can remove your past experience from your life simply because she can't cope. Or that you could have lived your life not experiencing anything UNTIL she came along, predicting that she would somehow. :rolleyes: There are SO MANY other things that couples have to work through in a life, if she's not coping with this small, reasonable thing then how's she going to cope with the big stuff? And I wouldn't be walking on eggshells over it either. I'd be stating plain and simple this is how it is and I'm here with you trying so we either get past it or we're done. You can't change it, so pretending that it didn't happen just to keep the peace isn't really going to do much for the relationship anyway.
Emotional cheating is a deal breaker, just as much as physical cheating.
I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
the way they were talking about it was having a signicant other and sharing everything except any physical relationship. Except the example on thw show was holding hands and hugging his emotional attachment. Its all very fuzzy i think. Fine fine line to walk. Not my cup of tea.
Thanks for clarifying that. If that is the case, then that's pretty terrible. Almost worse than physical (sex) cheating.
Comments
I understand what you mean.
1 quick bonk isn't nearly as bad as him wanting to spend his life with someone else.
I'm surprised with the chicks here that are okay with being cheated on..
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
i think if their emotional needs are being met, they're willing to forgive a mistake. i dont see anything all that incredible about it.
No one said it's okay to be cheated on.
Just saying if we had to put up with it. Rather him sleep with someone else because he just wanted sex rather than him being madly in love with someone else that he would ultimately leave me for anyway.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
I agree.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
I think there is a level of truth to this post that was overlooked.
for the record, my bf understands me and my humor/attitudes so when he hears me talking about chatting up someone - he just chuckles because unless there is "real" face time, it's just me doing some truthful jawing -and likewise, he can make comments/statements about other women (not piggish ones...that shit does NOT fly with me) but I know that he has no desire or need to go elsewhere. I like to tell the truth in a humorous almost unbelievable way...so if I am at work and someone comments about my stockings or something I will say something like "well too bad you didn't pay for the gold membership status on my website you might get a show of garter snapping" ya know?? (there is no website...but the garter thing is true and I am a smart ass about stupid physical inspired compliments) That often leads to bizarre levels of flirting...but my boyfriend hears about it all and generally laughs.
The same can go for him, case in point, my boyfriend told me about this woman that works with him that he had a "crush" on - he was practically babbling about how he thought she was cute blah blah blah...and you know what? I never felt any jealousy or fear about it...but if he had never told me about her and I found out later that he had "secret" feelings (physical feelings) I would be nervous about our relationship...
what constitutes piggish?
having been through what i have, yes. i agree.
a habit doesnt mean that he feels the need to fuck like a bunny rabbit any cottontails that he finds.
it means that if, after we went through the drama (described in a previous post) he did the same thing again (for equally physical reasons) then, I think I would have to consider him habitually unsatisfied by me sexually and give him the big send off.
and for ever afterwards in my head he would be called the "manjoso" (or however that spanglish word for gluttony pig is spelled)
AGREED.
please to be defining "emotional cheating".
I don't entirely get it either. Most people think 'he/she seems nice, phwoar'.
That's exactly what I'm talking about. ^
Whenever I've been cheated on it's the lying and deception that's gone on to "hide" the cheating that has been more hurtful to me than any actual act itself. I mean sure yes, it hurts to know that someone you love screwed someone else, BUT that they lied about it repeatedly to cover it up (and I really have NO IDEA why you'd bother :rolleyes: ) well that is the the thing that made me completely reassess the relationship. Not the cheating.
The way I see it if you do screw around that's cool, if your partner accepts that and has no problem with it. And if you got a crush or a bit of flirty back and forth going on with someone else the greatest thing you can do in that situation is tell your partner. Share it with them. So they know, that yeah, I'm not blind or numb, I am attracted to this person BUT I'm telling you about it because how you feel MEANS MORE to me. I dunno seems to me that what you got going on is a bit of looking in the cake shop window but all cakes consumed at your place are baked at home.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
hmmn, I suppose it would be honestly referring to women by their body parts or slang for their body parts...honestly, not with a level of humor or joke-perv vibe.
I can and do speak fluent "Locker Room" but, there is a level of gentlemanliness that seems to be able to pull off joke perv...whereas, I have heard men calling other women (and prolly when i was not there calling me this as well) "pig holes" "cunt" and ya know other terms of the same ilk...and they meant it. not like a joke or trying to be a big man but like, it was an acceptable expression.
I jokingly say "cuntsticks" and "dickhole" and such, but it's like "asshole" or "shit for brains" it's not meant to be used to actually describe an anus or other sexualized body part...it is used as a vague derogatory expression for the person as a whole...and has as much meaning to me as calling someone a "jerk"
so, in short, do not call me a "cunt" unless you make it funny and are not referring to me by a slang term for my vagina.
what she says......;)
my gf bursts into tears anytime i mention having dated other girls before her in the most roundabout way. i rather doubt she would at all be ok with me telling her ive been flirting with a classmate or think another girl is cute.
Coont.
all posts by ©gue_barium are protected under US copyright law and are not to be reproduced, exchanged or sold
except by express written permission of ©gue_barium, the author.
fair enough. just curious.
hahahaa...I realized how I ended that last post...*stops singing I am Woman Hear Me Roar* :eek:
hahahaaa..."Cuntlefish McBewbie" is totally fine with me, btw.
I'd say that you got bigger problems afoot then.
A reasonable person with a healthy self esteem, that has trust in their partner does not need to crack up crying at the very mention of what went on before them or expect that their partner doesn't have a history. If it's not something she can cope with then I'd say she needs to be asking herself why or finding someone with NO previous partners.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
she didn't have any, which might be why she has no healthy self esteem. it's wearing me out. i'll take getting fucked over by a bitch who knows she doesn't need me over this walking on eggshells shit.
again, what she said...
Thanks. Maybe I don't always talk crap. :rolleyes:
Soulsinging, who's the bitch? Not your girlfriend?
the ex.
Well you can only decide if you wanna stay in it and work toward it being a non issue (as it should be) or accept that it's not working and move on. It's not like you can remove your past experience from your life simply because she can't cope. Or that you could have lived your life not experiencing anything UNTIL she came along, predicting that she would somehow. :rolleyes: There are SO MANY other things that couples have to work through in a life, if she's not coping with this small, reasonable thing then how's she going to cope with the big stuff? And I wouldn't be walking on eggshells over it either. I'd be stating plain and simple this is how it is and I'm here with you trying so we either get past it or we're done. You can't change it, so pretending that it didn't happen just to keep the peace isn't really going to do much for the relationship anyway.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
Was she the one that wears sweatsuits and has low self esteem, etc? :(
Thanks for clarifying that. If that is the case, then that's pretty terrible. Almost worse than physical (sex) cheating.
Both dump-able offences in my opinion.