"It's refuted a lot of gender stereotypes..."

RolandTD20Kdrummer

This might be the first time I recommend weed for a kid...

ok that was wrong...very wrong.

kinetic

RolandTD20Kdrummer wrote:

Dude...that's way up there at the top the scale in life matters. I hope this was a one time only deal over something trivial.

Holy fuck...I'm at a loss...what is the diagnosis? What is the prognosis?

It was earth shattering and he's getting help. It wasn't trivial; it's a full blown mental disorder. It's always going to be work for him and the rest of us, and we've had to reframe our lives and our expectations in the past few months. The prognosis is one day at a time. It's rough. Everything changes when your kid becomes genuinely suicidal.

Ahnimus

kinetic wrote:

It was earth shattering and he's getting help. It wasn't trivial; it's a full blown mental disorder. It's always going to be work for him and the rest of us, and we've had to reframe our lives and our expectations in the past few months. The prognosis is one day at a time. It's rough. Everything changes when your kid becomes genuinely suicidal.

Something about that word implies it's not anything to do with an innate wiring.

Is he taking SSRIs?

angelica

kinetic wrote:

It was earth shattering and he's getting help. It wasn't trivial; it's a full blown mental disorder. It's always going to be work for him and the rest of us, and we've had to reframe our lives and our expectations in the past few months. The prognosis is one day at a time. It's rough. Everything changes when your kid becomes genuinely suicidal.

I want you to know I'm in your corner, friend. I spent many years with bi-polar disorder, myself.

I'd watch the self-fulfilling prophecies, myself ( eg "it's always going to be work for him and the rest of us"). Recovery is entirely possible. I have recovered myself, and from numerous other disorders, too (for example a serious case of OCD ). The key is that while we carry the genetic predisposition for such "disorders" that predisposition can be made active, and by that token, it can also be made unactive. There is no easy answer. It was a long road for me before I was able to cancel out the effects of bi-polar disorder--8 years, to be exact. Also, my daughter began hearing voices as a young teen, and was hospitalized psychiatrically 6 times in her first year of high school. She is now 25 with no sign of mental illness. The opposite is the case, actually--she's a highly insightful and intuitive young woman. I also work in a crisis center/mental health association, and we use a recovery model, rather than an "illness" model. The focus makes all the difference in the outcome. My guess is you are becoming very aware of what works and what does not for your own child, thusly being your own expert, though. I'm sure you are willing to do what it takes to move through such challenges. Best wishes to you! Peace.

RolandTD20Kdrummer

kinetic wrote:

It was earth shattering and he's getting help. It wasn't trivial; it's a full blown mental disorder. It's always going to be work for him and the rest of us, and we've had to reframe our lives and our expectations in the past few months. The prognosis is one day at a time. It's rough. Everything changes when your kid becomes genuinely suicidal.

Dana,

I really feel for you. I can only offer my strength in encouragement.

Children have a miraculous way of overcoming obstacles.

angelica

Ahnimus wrote:

Something about that word implies it's not anything to do with an innate wiring.

The innate wiring is the predisposition. Then the environmental factors have wired that predisposition as the child grew. So the wiring is active and present, presenting as "ill". That does not mean it is written in stone. Our brain chemistry is dynamic, and can be changed. It is a very valid path to embark upon--that of healing and recovery.

kinetic

Ahnimus wrote:

Something about that word implies it's not anything to do with an innate wiring.

Is he taking SSRIs?

What my kid has is usually genetically based (that's what we mean by pre-wired) and usually goes full blown for kids around a certain age; hence the phrase "becomes suicidal." In hindsight, he always had quirks that were a buildup to his diagnosis, and I had been definitely watching for it. And then it happened.

But studies of brain scans with children with autism, bipolar, obsessive-compulsive and sociopathic disorders do clearly show that their thinking (or wiring), is different from kids who don't have these issues. The actual neural paths are different when having their OCD or sociopathic thoughts.

Let's just say that he is getting better and that drug trials can be terrible things.

Ahnimus wrote:

For being an expert in the field, you certainly are very aggressive.

In my experience people who read an understand the material you lay claim to are typically calm and collected. You are the opposite of what is typical, perhaps you don't really understand your own material.

Of course I'm aggressive, and you clearly have never spent time in the Faculty Club at Harvard. It's fairly loud. Not calm and collected. And I believe that my reputation, published papers and work at Harvard that has me on the tenure track is a slight indication that I may possibly understand this material.

Ahnimus wrote:

If you want to know why your kid is having tantrums, trying talking to them.

Hmmm. Tantrums. Try reading what I wrote and don't minimize my situation.

angelica

Ahnimus wrote:

One of my friends, was single, with 3 kids.

She was unemployed.

Within 2 months she bought a new barbeque, a new stereo and designer clothes for her kids, while supporting her drug habit.

Don't get me wrong, I care for her and her children. I'm not out to make her look like a villian. I'm just saying, that's what I've been whitness to.

I realize you are seeing what you are seeing.
Maybe she got a big tax refund. That's not unheard of. Or borrowed money. Or somehow has credit? And really, illegal activity is possible, too. I'm saying the system as it stands does not support "high living" at all. It's not normal that single moms in Ontario have high child support incomes and very low rent and while not working are rolling in money. That's a fairytale from what I've seen. And again, it can happen.....

Juberoo

soulsinging wrote:

that might go both ways. im not nearly as much of a prick in real life. but having worked with kids, describing them as robots you need to program is pretty fucked up to my way of thinking.

I prefer to think of children as sponges who soak up what is around them.

Ahnimus

kinetic wrote:

What my kid has is usually genetically based (that's what we mean by pre-wired) and usually goes full blown for kids around a certain age; hence the phrase "becomes suicidal." In hindsight, he always had quirks that were a buildup to his diagnosis, and I had been definitely watching for it. And then it happened.

But studies of brain scans with children with autism, bipolar, obsessive-compulsive and sociopathic disorders do clearly show that their thinking (or wiring), is different from kids who don't have these issues. The actual neural paths are different when having their OCD or sociopathic thoughts.

Let's just say that he is getting better and that drug trials can be terrible things.

Of course I'm aggressive, and you clearly have never spent time in the Faculty Club at Harvard. It's fairly loud. Not calm and collected. And I believe that my reputation, published papers and work at Harvard that has me on the tenure track is a slight indication that I may possibly understand this material.

Hmmm. Tantrums. Try reading what I wrote and don't minimize my situation.

Yea, sorry, I don't remember you saying he had OCD. I assumed it was just depression.

As a child, as young as 8, I would have black-outs and try to kill people, including myself. That's the epitome of the sense of lacking authorship, in my experience. But I doubt that was genetic, it was environmental, caused by a traumatic experience. Over the next ten years it faded away and now I'm really happy. But I attribute much of my happiness to good philosophies.