"It's refuted a lot of gender stereotypes..."

AhnimusAhnimus Posts: 10,560
edited August 2007 in A Moving Train
Why We Have Sex: 237 Reasons and Counting

Aug. 1, 2007 — After exhaustively compiling a list of the 237 reasons why people have sex, researchers found that young men and women get intimate for mostly the same motivations. It's more about lust in the body than a love connection in the heart.

College-aged men and women agree on their top reasons for having sex — they were attracted to the person, they wanted to experience physical pleasure and "it feels good," according to a peer-reviewed study in the August edition of Archives of Sexual Behavior. Twenty of the top 25 reasons given for having sex were the same for men and women.

Expressing love and showing affection were in the top 10 for both men and women, but they did take a back seat to the clear No. 1: "I was attracted to the person."

Researchers at the University of Texas spent five years and their own money to study the overlooked why behind sex while others were spending their time on the how.

"It's refuted a lot of gender stereotypes ... that men only want sex for the physical pleasure and women want love," said University of Texas clinical psychology professor Cindy Meston, the study's co-author. "That's not what I came up with in my findings."

Forget thinking that men are from Mars and women from Venus, "the more we look, the more we find similarity," said Dr. Irwin Goldstein, director of sexual medicine at Alvarado Hospital in San Diego. Goldstein, who wasn't part of Meston's study, said the Texas research made a lot of sense and adds to growing evidence that the vaunted differences in the genders may only be among people with sexual problems.

Meston and colleague David Buss first questioned 444 men and women — ranging in age from 17 to 52 — to come up with a list of 237 distinct reasons people have sex. They ranged from "It's fun" which men ranked fourth and women ranked eighth to "I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease" which ranked on the bottom by women.

Once they came up with that long list, Meston and Buss asked 1,549 college students taking psychology classes to rank the reasons on a one-to-five scale on how they applied to their experiences.

"None of the gender differences are all that great," Meston said. "Men were more likely to be opportunistic towards having sex, so if sex were there and available they would jump on it, somewhat more so than women. Women were more likely to have sex because they felt they needed to please their partner."

But this is among college students, when Meston conceded "hormones run rampant." She predicted huge differences when older groups of people are studied.

Since her study came out Tuesday, people are coming up with new reasons to have sex.

"Originally, I thought that we exhaustively compiled the list, but now I found that there should be some added," Meston said.

http://dsc.discovery.com/news/2007/08/01/sex_hea_02.html?category=health&guid=20070801111500
I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
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  • AhnimusAhnimus Posts: 10,560
    Ooh ooh! Did I mention "I told you so!"

    Nevermind that. At least it's clear now.
    I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
  • surferdudesurferdude Posts: 2,057
    What's surprising about the study? That women enjoy sex for many of the same "feels good, do it" reasons men do. Gee, I figured that out before my 14th birthday. But I guess only a scientist would need a study to figure out the obvious. Or is it anything to get a government grant.
    “One good thing about music,
    when it hits you, you feel to pain.
    So brutalize me with music.”
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  • AhnimusAhnimus Posts: 10,560
    surferdude wrote:
    What's surprising about the study? That women enjoy sex for many of the same "feels good, do it" reasons men do. Gee, I figured that out before my 14th birthday. But I guess only a scientist would need a study to figure out the obvious. Or is it anything to get a government grant.

    Actually. This pertains to a discussion we had a few months ago about statutory rape. The general census was that a 40 year old woman having sex with a 15 year old boy was more acceptable than if the genders were reversed. This study shows that whatever the genders are, the level of "taking-advantage-of" is roughly equivelant. That girls do not get into bed for love significantly more than boys do.

    It's a very common stereotype that "women are far more interested in love than sexual intercourse" and the opposite is true for men. The results of this research shows that men and women are roughly the same.
    I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
  • I only see sex as physical. I'm not into 'making love', I guess. When I feel a connection with a person...a bond, then I like to show it by spending time with that person, being affectionate..things like that. When it comes to sex, I don't care for romance to be involved but that's just me. That being said though, I don't want to have sex with someone whom I don't share a connection with. I can't see giving myself to just anyone based on physical traits alone. You have to be worthy...I guess that's where me and most guys would differ.
    If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.

    Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
    -Oscar Wilde
  • AhnimusAhnimus Posts: 10,560
    What about "I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease"?

    That must have been a joke answer or something.
    I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
  • soulsingingsoulsinging Posts: 13,202
    Ahnimus wrote:
    Actually. This pertains to a discussion we had a few months ago about statutory rape. The general census was that a 40 year old woman having sex with a 15 year old boy was more acceptable than if the genders were reversed. This study shows that whatever the genders are, the level of "taking-advantage-of" is roughly equivelant. That girls do not get into bed for love significantly more than boys do.

    It's a very common stereotype that "women are far more interested in love than sexual intercourse" and the opposite is true for men. The results of this research shows that men and women are roughly the same.

    my opposition to that is that women are more vulnerable to consequences. a 14 year old girl can get pregnant and have her life altered. a 14 year old boy can't. also, women are more susceptible to STD's becos they have an "open" reproductive system, whereas men's are closed.

    that said, im glad to have scientific proof that women are as shallow as they always bitch about men being. it's all about the looks people. no more bullshit denying it.
  • polarispolaris Posts: 3,527
    You have to be worthy...

    hahahaaa!! ... kabong - you stud! ... :D

    anyhoo - my experience is that women enjoy sex as much as men but they for sure attach an emotional component to it that men sometimes leave out ...
  • CollinCollin Posts: 4,931
    I think I'm going to do my own study on this, but a little less theoretical.
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  • libragirllibragirl Posts: 4,632
    both men and women are pigs I guess....:p. Well it's kind of a no brainer with the physical attraction thing.
    These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
  • prismprism Posts: 2,440
    wait a second, even women think sex feels good? who knew? ;)
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  • AhnimusAhnimus Posts: 10,560
    my opposition to that is that women are more vulnerable to consequences. a 14 year old girl can get pregnant and have her life altered. a 14 year old boy can't. also, women are more susceptible to STD's becos they have an "open" reproductive system, whereas men's are closed.

    that said, im glad to have scientific proof that women are as shallow as they always bitch about men being. it's all about the looks people. no more bullshit denying it.

    He can get stuck with child-support payments.

    And men can get STDs.
    I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
  • nickcat0nickcat0 Posts: 75
    Ahnimus wrote:
    Actually. This pertains to a discussion we had a few months ago about statutory rape. The general census was that a 40 year old woman having sex with a 15 year old boy was more acceptable than if the genders were reversed. This study shows that whatever the genders are, the level of "taking-advantage-of" is roughly equivelant. That girls do not get into bed for love significantly more than boys do.

    It's a very common stereotype that "women are far more interested in love than sexual intercourse" and the opposite is true for men. The results of this research shows that men and women are roughly the same.

    This might not be politically correct but as a 15 year old boy , I would have done almost anything to have a 40 year old woman have sex with me .
    Hell , as a 43 year old man I'd do almost ......
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  • surferdude wrote:
    What's surprising about the study? That women enjoy sex for many of the same "feels good, do it" reasons men do. Gee, I figured that out before my 14th birthday. But I guess only a scientist would need a study to figure out the obvious. Or is it anything to get a government grant.

    masturbation doesn't count... :p
    Progress is not made by everyone joining some new fad,
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  • AhnimusAhnimus Posts: 10,560
    nickcat0 wrote:
    This might not be politically correct but as a 15 year old boy , I would have done almost anything to have a 40 year old woman have sex with me .
    Hell , as a 43 year old man I'd do almost ......

    Yea, me too. And if that hot 40 year old went for me I wouldn't have blamed her. But it should be a universal rule, including young girls, if we make any concessions for it.
    I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
  • JeanieJeanie Posts: 9,446
    well ryan I don't dispute the findings but I'm not really gonna get into my thoughts because we all know how that goes for girls who speak up. :)

    But I can't say that anything underage really ever appeals to me.
    NOPE!!!

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  • VictoryGinVictoryGin Posts: 1,207
    gender is a construct.

    ah, remember the 1950s when women were said not to enjoy sex and then kinsey tried to disprove that? we're still there?
    if you wanna be a friend of mine
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  • JuberooJuberoo Posts: 472
    Ahnimus wrote:
    What about "I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease"?

    That must have been a joke answer or something.
    Unfortunately it's not. I have had several patients who due to anger over contracting a disease themselves (in this case HIV) they developed a non-care attitude "I got from someone so why should I care about anyone else"? Or they are retaliating against a scornful relationship (HIV again) "men are scum and they all deserve to die".

    Just another reason to be sure and use protection EVERY time.
    Makes much more sense, to live in the present tense.

    A truly liberal person is conservative when necessary.

    Pro-life by choice.
  • JuberooJuberoo Posts: 472
    As for the "study". I still believe in gender specifics. Women are simply more emotional by nature which lends itself to the fact that women look at physical intimacy in a more emotional sense. I know in my own circle of friends, I do not have one nonchalant female friend who has sex "just because it feels good". On the contrary, I have male friends who do.
    Makes much more sense, to live in the present tense.

    A truly liberal person is conservative when necessary.

    Pro-life by choice.
  • soulsingingsoulsinging Posts: 13,202
    Ahnimus wrote:
    He can get stuck with child-support payments.

    And men can get STDs.

    child support payments pale in comparison to the time and toll birth and physically raising a child take.

    yes, men can. but medically speaking, it is easier for women to get them becos of the way their system is designed.
  • soulsingingsoulsinging Posts: 13,202
    Juberoo wrote:
    As for the "study". I still believe in gender specifics. Women are simply more emotional by nature which lends itself to the fact that women look at physical intimacy in a more emotional sense. I know in my own circle of friends, I do not have one nonchalant female friend who has sex "just because it feels good". On the contrary, I have male friends who do.

    there has been study on the effects of sense on both genders. men react the way they do to a large turkey meal... contentment, satiation, and sleep. women release hormones that promote bonding. thus the stereotype of the guy rolling over to sleep while the girl wants to cuddle. this study does not disprove that. this study simply says that motivations are not dramatically different. women want sex for the same reasons men do... it feels good. that does not mean men and women respond to it in the same way. and despite ahnimus's conclusions, they DID note differences. they were jsut not as dramatically different as pop culture would have us believe. women did rank emotional connection higher and men did rank conquest higher. in addition, this is a sample of college kids who just want to fuck and experiment.
  • This thread reminds me of my own problems.

    If you had random sex with someone a long time ago and then you get a girlfriend who thinks sex should only be for love, do you have to tell her that you had random sex with someone? Or is just telling her you're not a virgin okay?
    All I know is that to see, and not to speak, would be the great betrayal.
    -Enoch Powell
  • gue_bariumgue_barium Posts: 5,515
    This thread reminds me of my own problems.

    If you had random sex with someone a long time ago and then you get a girlfriend who thinks sex should only be for love, do you have to tell her that you had random sex with someone? Or is just telling her you're not a virgin okay?

    When I was a virgin, I told my girlfriend I had had sex before.

    After the first time, she said, "I'm proud to be your first."

    I'm a horrible liar.

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  • VictoryGinVictoryGin Posts: 1,207
    This thread reminds me of my own problems.

    If you had random sex with someone a long time ago and then you get a girlfriend who thinks sex should only be for love, do you have to tell her that you had random sex with someone? Or is just telling her you're not a virgin okay?

    aww, is this your way of telling us you got laid? i think the most important question here is: did you wrap that shit up?
    if you wanna be a friend of mine
    cross the river to the eastside
  • soulsingingsoulsinging Posts: 13,202
    VictoryGin wrote:
    aww, is this your way of telling us you got laid? i think the most important question here is: did you wrap that shit up?

    my question is still why he didn't wait until marriage like his religion tells him to and how come he gets to ignore the rules he finds inconvenient but nobody else can? i mean, if he can't contain his desire for his gf even a year or two until the wedding, how can he demand a homosexual must supress their desires until they die?
  • soulsingingsoulsinging Posts: 13,202
    This thread reminds me of my own problems.

    If you had random sex with someone a long time ago and then you get a girlfriend who thinks sex should only be for love, do you have to tell her that you had random sex with someone? Or is just telling her you're not a virgin okay?

    i give them all the graphic details. it turns them on and prepares them for all the kinky shit im gonna wanna do to them. and if it spooks em, then i know it wasn't meant to be anyway cos they're a prude. plus, if she thinks she's got a lot to live up to, she'll try harder to please you cos women are way more competitive than men and every woman feels the need to prove her pussy is the best.
  • VictoryGinVictoryGin Posts: 1,207
    my question is still why he didn't wait until marriage like his religion tells him to and how come he gets to ignore the rules he finds inconvenient but nobody else can? i mean, if he can't contain his desire for his gf even a year or two until the wedding, how can he demand a homosexual must supress their desires until they die?

    yeah i was wondering that too, but i just didn't feel like typing so much. thanks!
    if you wanna be a friend of mine
    cross the river to the eastside
  • VictoryGin wrote:
    aww, is this your way of telling us you got laid? i think the most important question here is: did you wrap that shit up?

    Yeah. This is like a legit problem for me though. My current girlfriend wanted to know all sorts of details about who it was when etc. I was content with telling her the number and that I have no STDs.
    All I know is that to see, and not to speak, would be the great betrayal.
    -Enoch Powell
  • soulsingingsoulsinging Posts: 13,202
    Yeah. This is like a legit problem for me though. My current girlfriend wanted to know all sorts of details about who it was when etc. I was content with telling her the number and that I have no STDs.

    what's the number and when was the last time you were tested? like i said, give her details. she will feel inadequate and then work harder to make up the difference. also, act very remorseful. those holy chicks eat that shit up. she'll think she's saving you by fucking you in love.
  • VictoryGinVictoryGin Posts: 1,207
    Yeah. This is like a legit problem for me though. My current girlfriend wanted to know all sorts of details about who it was when etc. I was content with telling her the number and that I have no STDs.

    i think honesty is good for relationships. if someone can't handle being honest or hearing the honest, then it doesn't seem like the right relationship.
    if you wanna be a friend of mine
    cross the river to the eastside
  • what's the number and when was the last time you were tested? like i said, give her details. she will feel inadequate and then work harder to make up the difference. also, act very remorseful. those holy chicks eat that shit up. she'll think she's saving you by fucking you in love.

    Somehow i dont think your advice is very helpful.
    All I know is that to see, and not to speak, would be the great betrayal.
    -Enoch Powell
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