Instant thoughts. (add yours if you like)

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  • the wolf
    the wolf Posts: 7,027
    skyeriverwinter wrote:
    pandora wrote:
    skyeriverwinter wrote:


    Sometimes we ALL need to keep in mind this statement above. If one does not understand the history of a person or situation...someone may come of as abrasive or nonsensical.

    I know from experience on this board certain people love to give advice not understanding not all of us have had a happy upbringing or happy present. Giving advice to always be happy and look on the positive side isn't always easy for some. I do believe in karma though.... :D
    me too- i believe in karma.
    Sometimes a removed person sees things in a more simple and clear way . Its very easy to see the wrongs done to us without seeing our own deeds til hindsight takes over.
    Some might consider it cruel to intentionally alienate ones child from their paternal grandmother. As I said its very hard the relationship between mother in laws and daughter in laws. I was not offering advice just hoping to lighten her load but her anger runs to deep and is toxic also to her family. I would like to think they could repair the damage. I actually think my assessment was pretty close. I have seen husbands turn away from their mothers and I would just hope, being a Moms myself, that this could be reversed. Most especially since this grandmother may be leaving this world soon.

    this wasn't directed towards you...I agree with you... :D

    I'm not going to say who i agree with and who i dont agree with. it dont really matter.

    i will say that i dont really think Justam was looking for advice in anyway shape or form. if she were, she would have posted in AET, but she didnt. she posted it in instant thoughts. i think she was just "venting".
    just my 2 cents.

    on the other hand, i have an uncle that everyone tells me i should be nice and forgiving to. people on the "outside" tell me this all the time.
    and Justam is right about one thing, you dont always know the whole story.
    all i can say is that i could never in a million years be nice to or forgive this uncle for the things he has done.

    -steve
    Peace, Love.

    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • justam
    justam Posts: 21,415
    pandora wrote:
    me too- i believe in karma.
    Sometimes a removed person sees things in a more simple and clear way . Its very easy to see the wrongs done to us without seeing our own deeds til hindsight takes over.
    Some might consider it cruel to intentionally alienate ones child from their paternal grandmother. As I said its very hard the relationship between mother in laws and daughter in laws. I was not offering advice just hoping to lighten her load but her anger runs to deep and is toxic also to her family. I would like to think they could repair the damage. I actually think my assessment was pretty close. I have seen husbands turn away from their mothers and I would just hope, being a Moms myself, that this could be reversed. Most especially since this grandmother may be leaving this world soon.

    I'm not saying another word. You know nothing about this situation because if you did, you'd realize your advice is like telling us to forgive a murder because you think smoothing things over is better. It's not.

    What example would I be setting for my son if I choose to push my husband to be around someone who repeatedly abused him?! What example would I be setting if I told my own son to let someone else not take his feelings into consideration?!

    Really. Just be quiet now.
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  • justam
    justam Posts: 21,415
    And, wolf is right. I was just venting.
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  • skyeriverwinter
    skyeriverwinter Posts: 1,901
    I'm not going to say who i agree with and who i dont agree with. it dont really matter.

    i will say that i dont really think Justam was looking for advice in anyway shape or form. if she were, she would have posted in AET, but she didnt. she posted it in instant thoughts. i think she was just "venting".
    just my 2 cents.

    on the other hand, i have an uncle that everyone tells me i should be nice and forgiving to. people on the "outside" tell me this all the time.
    and Justam is right about one thing, you dont always know the whole story.
    all i can say is that i could never in a million years be nice to or forgive this uncle for the things he has done.

    -steve

    let's be clear...I am not saying one is right and the other is wrong. What I am saying is I DO believe in Karma... and I do believe some individuals give advice freely and sometimes whether they know it or not they are coming off as abrasive....that's all...hugs to everyone...have a great night!
  • justam
    justam Posts: 21,415
    I kinda think you're back-pedalling skyrivergirl. :|

    If you're going to jump on and kick someone at least stand by the action. :roll:
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  • pandora
    pandora Posts: 21,855
    Not sure how this got to be right and wrong kind of silly really.
    Very sorry to have upset you Justam, not my intention. I made what I thought was an innocent remark hoping to aid in a difficult relationship, that of mom in laws and daughter in laws. Its obvious now you aren't upset about candy giving. I was hoping, especially with the next generation involved, that your family could find the understanding to repair this which seemed a simple task at that moment.
    I think as adults we always owe that to the children and as adults we owe it to ourselves to resolve that which has hurt us as children. Without this resolution we are but half finished and will continue to carry that hurt which weighs us down.
    But sorry again to have interrupted your vent and directed it at myself. And I can hope for peace in your family and resolution
  • justam
    justam Posts: 21,415
    pandora wrote:
    Very sorry to have upset you Justam, not my intention.

    I accept your apology but I can see that you like having the last word.

    Take twenty. Take fifty. Take as many you need to feel okay...
    :? :shock:
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  • pickupyourwill
    pickupyourwill Posts: 3,135
    okay so maybe I'm a little distracted by the cd. but still motivated.
  • pandora
    pandora Posts: 21,855
    justam wrote:
    pandora wrote:
    Very sorry to have upset you Justam, not my intention.

    I accept your apology but I can see that you like having the last word.

    Take twenty. Take fifty. Take as many you need to feel okay...
    :? :shock:
    not last word just an apology- but i do feel fine thank you
    and remember you are the always kind person here
  • justam
    justam Posts: 21,415
    pandora wrote:
    justam wrote:
    pandora wrote:
    Very sorry to have upset you Justam, not my intention.

    I accept your apology but I can see that you like having the last word.

    Take twenty. Take fifty. Take as many you need to feel okay...
    :? :shock:
    not last word just an apology- but i do feel fine thank you
    and remember you are the always kind person here

    At what point was I unkind to you? :geek:
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  • pandora
    pandora Posts: 21,855
    I few times here but its ok I can take it - I messed up your vent
  • skyeriverwinter
    skyeriverwinter Posts: 1,901
    justam wrote:
    I kinda think you're back-pedalling skyrivergirl. :|

    If you're going to jump on and kick someone at least stand by the action. :roll:
    Who exactly was I kicking...my feet were so NOT flying here!!! I was just stating my opinion. Why is it I often feel you dislike me and you have yet to know me??? I am sorry if this feels like some type of an affront to you personally . It was not intended to be and the name is skyeriverwinter...my children's names... :D
  • justam
    justam Posts: 21,415
    I guess I felt hurt when you put "certain people" in italics like that.

    It felt like you were taking the opportunity to let me know you didn't like my comments to you in the past. It felt like you were saying "I'm going to point out how it feels when you make comments to me."

    Was I wrong?
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  • skyeriverwinter
    skyeriverwinter Posts: 1,901
    justam wrote:
    I guess I felt hurt when you put "certain people" in italics like that.

    It felt like you were taking the opportunity to let me know you didn't like my comments to you in the past. It felt like you were saying "I'm going to point out how it feels when you make comments to me."

    Was I wrong?
    yes you were...it's in the same vein as the pot stirrers around here who love to verbally abuse people for no reason. People need to understand that there is another person on the other end that will feel the sting of the words so easily flung....that's all...we are all sensitive to things in different ways...
  • justam
    justam Posts: 21,415
    skyeriverwinter wrote:
    justam wrote:
    I guess I felt hurt when you put "certain people" in italics like that.

    It felt like you were taking the opportunity to let me know you didn't like my comments to you in the past. It felt like you were saying "I'm going to point out how it feels when you make comments to me."

    Was I wrong?
    yes you were...it's in the same vein as the pot stirrers around here who love to verbally abuse people for no reason. People need to understand that there is another person on the other end that will feel the sting of the words so easily flung....that's all...we are all sensitive to things in different ways...

    I don't understand why you and Pandora jumped on me though. I was just saying that I was angry at my mother-in-law. How is that stirring a pot?! How is that a problem for any of you?!
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  • pandora
    pandora Posts: 21,855
    justam wrote:
    skyeriverwinter wrote:
    justam wrote:
    I guess I felt hurt when you put "certain people" in italics like that.

    It felt like you were taking the opportunity to let me know you didn't like my comments to you in the past. It felt like you were saying "I'm going to point out how it feels when you make comments to me."

    Was I wrong?
    yes you were...it's in the same vein as the pot stirrers around here who love to verbally abuse people for no reason. People need to understand that there is another person on the other end that will feel the sting of the words so easily flung....that's all...we are all sensitive to things in different ways...

    I don't understand why you and Pandora jumped on me though. I was just saying that I was angry at my mother-in-law. How is that stirring a pot?! How is that a problem for any of you?!
    no problem here except maybe a lot of drama. I didn't jump on you neither did skyeriverwinter(cool childrens names- my son is Field) and I have apologized here and in a pm. I think its just very sensitive like you said.
  • skyeriverwinter
    skyeriverwinter Posts: 1,901
    edited October 2009
    justam wrote:
    skyeriverwinter wrote:
    justam wrote:
    I guess I felt hurt when you put "certain people" in italics like that.

    It felt like you were taking the opportunity to let me know you didn't like my comments to you in the past. It felt like you were saying "I'm going to point out how it feels when you make comments to me."

    Was I wrong?
    yes you were...it's in the same vein as the pot stirrers around here who love to verbally abuse people for no reason. People need to understand that there is another person on the other end that will feel the sting of the words so easily flung....that's all...we are all sensitive to things in different ways...

    I don't understand why you and Pandora jumped on me though. I was just saying that I was angry at my mother-in-law. How is that stirring a pot?! How is that a problem for any of you?!
    I was responding to your statement about people's advice...not jumping on you...you were not being a pot stirrer...it is not a problem for me...mother-in-laws can be a challenge...I understand...I also believe in karma...so you see...I was relating/responding to all things that I understand or believe...not one side or the other....
    Post edited by skyeriverwinter on
  • justam
    justam Posts: 21,415
    Hmmm...
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  • justam
    justam Posts: 21,415
    pandora wrote:
    no problem here except maybe a lot of drama. I didn't jump on you neither did skyeriverwinter(cool childrens names- my son is Field) and I have apologized here and in a pm. I think its just very sensitive like you said.

    I'm sorry for the drama, but I am entitled to feel angry now and then so I'm not going to apologize for that.
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  • skyeriverwinter
    skyeriverwinter Posts: 1,901
    back on topic: Instant thoughts. (add yours if you like)
    why are my words SO misunderstood...they seem logical and appropriate at the time... :?
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