PJ fans in 12 step Recovery

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Comments

  • hedonisthedonist standing on the edge of foreverPosts: 20,049
    njnancy said:
    hedonist said:
    Wobbie said:
    yeah, Mickey....the “routine” and I have no doubt I’ll stay sober today even tho I’ll be watching a football game with drinkers.

    BTW, I have no problem with other people who drink responsibly. I just didn’t happen to be able to do that.
    Amen to this, Wob.  I was drinking responsibly, I thought, until I realized I'd been wearing blinders, and being irreparably irresponsible to the one who matters more than anyone to me - myself.

    As to crutches?  Smoking tobacco, still.  I love it and while I've cut down a lot, I currently have no plans to quit.

    And you know about my long-term cannabinoidical relationship :innocent:
    my struggles are with the non drinking part of my status.  They affect my life greatly at times. But nothing is worth picking up again. Nothing. This is who I am.

    ***
    That's how I feel as well, nancy.  Therapy (stopped a couple of weeks ago) helped immensely with the "sober me" and the health repercussions of my actions.  And don't get me started on mom issues!

    PS.  The fucking quote (dys)function irritated me so much I almost forgot my point =)

  • njnancynjnancy Northern New JerseyPosts: 4,951
    hedonist said:
    njnancy said:
    hedonist said:
    Wobbie said:
    yeah, Mickey....the “routine” and I have no doubt I’ll stay sober today even tho I’ll be watching a football game with drinkers.

    BTW, I have no problem with other people who drink responsibly. I just didn’t happen to be able to do that.
    Amen to this, Wob.  I was drinking responsibly, I thought, until I realized I'd been wearing blinders, and being irreparably irresponsible to the one who matters more than anyone to me - myself.

    As to crutches?  Smoking tobacco, still.  I love it and while I've cut down a lot, I currently have no plans to quit.

    And you know about my long-term cannabinoidical relationship :innocent:
    my struggles are with the non drinking part of my status.  They affect my life greatly at times. But nothing is worth picking up again. Nothing. This is who I am.

    ***
    That's how I feel as well, nancy.  Therapy (stopped a couple of weeks ago) helped immensely with the "sober me" and the health repercussions of my actions.  And don't get me started on mom issues!

    PS.  The fucking quote (dys)function irritated me so much I almost forgot my point =)

    The damn quote function is a danger to my sobriety.  😝
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 15,867
    as seen on my way to my sunday meeting this morning....

    and I dont know where else to post this.


    I was struck by how automotive science has changed in 100 yrs....
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • deadendpdeadendp Northeast OhioPosts: 8,421
    edited September 30
    mickeyrat said:
    as seen on my way to my sunday meeting this morning....

    and I dont know where else to post this.


    I was struck by how automotive science has changed in 100 yrs....
    At least this one doesn't have tacky, over-sized rims. 

    I have a good idea of where this might be. 
    2014: Cincinnati
    2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 15,867
    deadendp said:
    mickeyrat said:
    as seen on my way to my sunday meeting this morning....

    and I dont know where else to post this.


    I was struck by how automotive science has changed in 100 yrs....
    At least this one doesn't have tacky, over-sized rims. 

    I have a good idea of where this might be. 
    do tell....
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • FifthelementFifthelement LotuslandPosts: 6,003
    mickeyrat said:
    as seen on my way to my sunday meeting this morning....

    and I dont know where else to post this.


    I was struck by how automotive science has changed in 100 yrs....
    That is a really cool juxtaposition mickeyrat
    "What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
  • FifthelementFifthelement LotuslandPosts: 6,003
    hedonist said:
    njnancy said:
    hedonist said:
    Wobbie said:
    yeah, Mickey....the “routine” and I have no doubt I’ll stay sober today even tho I’ll be watching a football game with drinkers.

    BTW, I have no problem with other people who drink responsibly. I just didn’t happen to be able to do that.
    Amen to this, Wob.  I was drinking responsibly, I thought, until I realized I'd been wearing blinders, and being irreparably irresponsible to the one who matters more than anyone to me - myself.

    As to crutches?  Smoking tobacco, still.  I love it and while I've cut down a lot, I currently have no plans to quit.

    And you know about my long-term cannabinoidical relationship :innocent:
    my struggles are with the non drinking part of my status.  They affect my life greatly at times. But nothing is worth picking up again. Nothing. This is who I am.

    ***
    That's how I feel as well, nancy.  Therapy (stopped a couple of weeks ago) helped immensely with the "sober me" and the health repercussions of my actions.  And don't get me started on mom issues!

    PS.  The fucking quote (dys)function irritated me so much I almost forgot my point =)

    Glad that you both are in a relatively good space.  Wishing everyone continued sobriety despite all the other shit you have  to deal with.  I’m cheering you all on from the sidelines.



    I have a question.  Does anyone here watch the tv show Mom?  How do you feel about their representation of alcoholism and sobriety?  I realise that it is a sitcom so things may be exaggerated at times, but I find that their struggles seem very realistic at times as well.

    "What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
  • deadendpdeadendp Northeast OhioPosts: 8,421
    edited September 30
    mickeyrat said:
    deadendp said:
    mickeyrat said:
    as seen on my way to my sunday meeting this morning....

    and I dont know where else to post this.


    I was struck by how automotive science has changed in 100 yrs....
    At least this one doesn't have tacky, over-sized rims. 

    I have a good idea of where this might be. 
    do tell....
    Dublin, maybe just down the road a bit from the hotel I stayed at when I came down for Columbus Buyers Market. I'm a buyer for an art gallery and I would come down for a 4 day buying weekend for probably the last 10 years. Not surprising that the mart is closing, but there is a year gap before they consider Atlanta as a replacement. More than you wanted to know. 
    Post edited by deadendp on
    2014: Cincinnati
    2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 15,867
    deadendp said:
    mickeyrat said:
    deadendp said:
    mickeyrat said:
    as seen on my way to my sunday meeting this morning....

    and I dont know where else to post this.


    I was struck by how automotive science has changed in 100 yrs....
    At least this one doesn't have tacky, over-sized rims. 

    I have a good idea of where this might be. 
    do tell....
    Dublin, maybe just down the road a bit from the hotel I stayed at when I came down for Columbus Buyers Market. I'm a buyer for an art gallery and I would come down for a 4 day buying weekend for probably the last 10 years. Not surprising that the mart is closing, but there is a year gap before they consider Atlanta as a replacement. More than you wanted to know. 
    Yes south of Muirfield. The Ford is coming out of the Coffman Park complex. Dublin Irish Festival is held on the grounds. To the right of the Ford is city hall.

    Around the corner from  here is a place called The Toy Barn. Higher end,  Exotic and newer muscle cars are sold there. Happened to have a cruise in this morning. Saw maybe 6 of these super cars there. All white. Would guess the toy barn was closer to your hotel.Which I assume was on 161 at I-270 on or off Post Road......
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 15,867
    hedonist said:
    njnancy said:
    hedonist said:
    Wobbie said:
    yeah, Mickey....the “routine” and I have no doubt I’ll stay sober today even tho I’ll be watching a football game with drinkers.

    BTW, I have no problem with other people who drink responsibly. I just didn’t happen to be able to do that.
    Amen to this, Wob.  I was drinking responsibly, I thought, until I realized I'd been wearing blinders, and being irreparably irresponsible to the one who matters more than anyone to me - myself.

    As to crutches?  Smoking tobacco, still.  I love it and while I've cut down a lot, I currently have no plans to quit.

    And you know about my long-term cannabinoidical relationship :innocent:
    my struggles are with the non drinking part of my status.  They affect my life greatly at times. But nothing is worth picking up again. Nothing. This is who I am.

    ***
    That's how I feel as well, nancy.  Therapy (stopped a couple of weeks ago) helped immensely with the "sober me" and the health repercussions of my actions.  And don't get me started on mom issues!

    PS.  The fucking quote (dys)function irritated me so much I almost forgot my point =)

    Glad that you both are in a relatively good space.  Wishing everyone continued sobriety despite all the other shit you have  to deal with.  I’m cheering you all on from the sidelines.



    I have a question.  Does anyone here watch the tv show Mom?  How do you feel about their representation of alcoholism and sobriety?  I realise that it is a sitcom so things may be exaggerated at times, but I find that their struggles seem very realistic at times as well.

    accurate enough imo. Much more so than other representations in media. Funnier for us I expect given some of the humor.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • FifthelementFifthelement LotuslandPosts: 6,003
    mickeyrat said:
    hedonist said:
    njnancy said:
    hedonist said:
    Wobbie said:
    yeah, Mickey....the “routine” and I have no doubt I’ll stay sober today even tho I’ll be watching a football game with drinkers.

    BTW, I have no problem with other people who drink responsibly. I just didn’t happen to be able to do that.
    Amen to this, Wob.  I was drinking responsibly, I thought, until I realized I'd been wearing blinders, and being irreparably irresponsible to the one who matters more than anyone to me - myself.

    As to crutches?  Smoking tobacco, still.  I love it and while I've cut down a lot, I currently have no plans to quit.

    And you know about my long-term cannabinoidical relationship :innocent:
    my struggles are with the non drinking part of my status.  They affect my life greatly at times. But nothing is worth picking up again. Nothing. This is who I am.

    ***
    That's how I feel as well, nancy.  Therapy (stopped a couple of weeks ago) helped immensely with the "sober me" and the health repercussions of my actions.  And don't get me started on mom issues!

    PS.  The fucking quote (dys)function irritated me so much I almost forgot my point =)

    Glad that you both are in a relatively good space.  Wishing everyone continued sobriety despite all the other shit you have  to deal with.  I’m cheering you all on from the sidelines.



    I have a question.  Does anyone here watch the tv show Mom?  How do you feel about their representation of alcoholism and sobriety?  I realise that it is a sitcom so things may be exaggerated at times, but I find that their struggles seem very realistic at times as well.

    accurate enough imo. Much more so than other representations in media. Funnier for us I expect given some of the humor.
    Yeah, seems like a bit of gallows humour sometimes.  
    "What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 15,867
    mickeyrat said:
    hedonist said:
    njnancy said:
    hedonist said:
    Wobbie said:
    yeah, Mickey....the “routine” and I have no doubt I’ll stay sober today even tho I’ll be watching a football game with drinkers.

    BTW, I have no problem with other people who drink responsibly. I just didn’t happen to be able to do that.
    Amen to this, Wob.  I was drinking responsibly, I thought, until I realized I'd been wearing blinders, and being irreparably irresponsible to the one who matters more than anyone to me - myself.

    As to crutches?  Smoking tobacco, still.  I love it and while I've cut down a lot, I currently have no plans to quit.

    And you know about my long-term cannabinoidical relationship :innocent:
    my struggles are with the non drinking part of my status.  They affect my life greatly at times. But nothing is worth picking up again. Nothing. This is who I am.

    ***
    That's how I feel as well, nancy.  Therapy (stopped a couple of weeks ago) helped immensely with the "sober me" and the health repercussions of my actions.  And don't get me started on mom issues!

    PS.  The fucking quote (dys)function irritated me so much I almost forgot my point =)

    Glad that you both are in a relatively good space.  Wishing everyone continued sobriety despite all the other shit you have  to deal with.  I’m cheering you all on from the sidelines.



    I have a question.  Does anyone here watch the tv show Mom?  How do you feel about their representation of alcoholism and sobriety?  I realise that it is a sitcom so things may be exaggerated at times, but I find that their struggles seem very realistic at times as well.

    accurate enough imo. Much more so than other representations in media. Funnier for us I expect given some of the humor.
    Yeah, seems like a bit of gallows humour sometimes.  
    which is absolutely what often happens.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • deadendpdeadendp Northeast OhioPosts: 8,421
    mickeyrat said:
    deadendp said:
    mickeyrat said:
    deadendp said:
    mickeyrat said:
    as seen on my way to my sunday meeting this morning....

    and I dont know where else to post this.


    I was struck by how automotive science has changed in 100 yrs....
    At least this one doesn't have tacky, over-sized rims. 

    I have a good idea of where this might be. 
    do tell....
    Dublin, maybe just down the road a bit from the hotel I stayed at when I came down for Columbus Buyers Market. I'm a buyer for an art gallery and I would come down for a 4 day buying weekend for probably the last 10 years. Not surprising that the mart is closing, but there is a year gap before they consider Atlanta as a replacement. More than you wanted to know. 
    Yes south of Muirfield. The Ford is coming out of the Coffman Park complex. Dublin Irish Festival is held on the grounds. To the right of the Ford is city hall.

    Around the corner from  here is a place called The Toy Barn. Higher end,  Exotic and newer muscle cars are sold there. Happened to have a cruise in this morning. Saw maybe 6 of these super cars there. All white. Would guess the toy barn was closer to your hotel.Which I assume was on 161 at I-270 on or off Post Road......
    Stayed at a hotel on Tuller, off Dublin Center Road just off Sawmill. 

    Used to stay at a Marriott near the Toy Barn. I believe the mart is on Discovery Blvd. 
    2014: Cincinnati
    2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
  • WobbieWobbie Posts: 25,447
    mickeyrat said:
    deadendp said:
    mickeyrat said:
    deadendp said:
    mickeyrat said:
    as seen on my way to my sunday meeting this morning....

    and I dont know where else to post this.


    I was struck by how automotive science has changed in 100 yrs....
    At least this one doesn't have tacky, over-sized rims. 

    I have a good idea of where this might be. 
    do tell....
    Dublin, maybe just down the road a bit from the hotel I stayed at when I came down for Columbus Buyers Market. I'm a buyer for an art gallery and I would come down for a 4 day buying weekend for probably the last 10 years. Not surprising that the mart is closing, but there is a year gap before they consider Atlanta as a replacement. More than you wanted to know. 
    Yes south of Muirfield. The Ford is coming out of the Coffman Park complex. Dublin Irish Festival is held on the grounds. To the right of the Ford is city hall.

    Around the corner from  here is a place called The Toy Barn. Higher end,  Exotic and newer muscle cars are sold there. Happened to have a cruise in this morning. Saw maybe 6 of these super cars there. All white. Would guess the toy barn was closer to your hotel.Which I assume was on 161 at I-270 on or off Post Road......

    off topic - Mickey - I grew up in worthington. dublin was cornfields when I was in ohio. 
    If I had known then what I know now...

    Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
    VIC 07
    EV LA1 08
    Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
    Columbus 10
    EV LA 11
    Vancouver 11
    Missoula 12
    Portland 13, Spokane 13
    St. Paul 14, Denver 14
    Philly I & II, 16
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 15,867
    edited September 30
    Wobbie said:
    mickeyrat said:
    deadendp said:
    mickeyrat said:
    deadendp said:
    mickeyrat said:
    as seen on my way to my sunday meeting this morning....

    and I dont know where else to post this.


    I was struck by how automotive science has changed in 100 yrs....
    At least this one doesn't have tacky, over-sized rims. 

    I have a good idea of where this might be. 
    do tell....
    Dublin, maybe just down the road a bit from the hotel I stayed at when I came down for Columbus Buyers Market. I'm a buyer for an art gallery and I would come down for a 4 day buying weekend for probably the last 10 years. Not surprising that the mart is closing, but there is a year gap before they consider Atlanta as a replacement. More than you wanted to know. 
    Yes south of Muirfield. The Ford is coming out of the Coffman Park complex. Dublin Irish Festival is held on the grounds. To the right of the Ford is city hall.

    Around the corner from  here is a place called The Toy Barn. Higher end,  Exotic and newer muscle cars are sold there. Happened to have a cruise in this morning. Saw maybe 6 of these super cars there. All white. Would guess the toy barn was closer to your hotel.Which I assume was on 161 at I-270 on or off Post Road......

    off topic - Mickey - I grew up in worthington. dublin was cornfields when I was in ohio. 
    I need to find the pic of the concrete corncobs  , a field of them.  near Tuttle mall. off of Franz Rd.

    Post edited by mickeyrat on
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • deadendpdeadendp Northeast OhioPosts: 8,421
    edited September 30
    mickeyrat said: 
    Wobbie said:
    mickeyrat said:
    deadendp said:
    mickeyrat said:
    deadendp said:
    mickeyrat said:
    as seen on my way to my sunday meeting this morning....

    and I dont know where else to post this.


    I was struck by how automotive science has changed in 100 yrs....
    At least this one doesn't have tacky, over-sized rims. 

    I have a good idea of where this might be. 
    do tell....
    Dublin, maybe just down the road a bit from the hotel I stayed at when I came down for Columbus Buyers Market. I'm a buyer for an art gallery and I would come down for a 4 day buying weekend for probably the last 10 years. Not surprising that the mart is closing, but there is a year gap before they consider Atlanta as a replacement. More than you wanted to know. 
    Yes south of Muirfield. The Ford is coming out of the Coffman Park complex. Dublin Irish Festival is held on the grounds. To the right of the Ford is city hall.

    Around the corner from  here is a place called The Toy Barn. Higher end,  Exotic and newer muscle cars are sold there. Happened to have a cruise in this morning. Saw maybe 6 of these super cars there. All white. Would guess the toy barn was closer to your hotel.Which I assume was on 161 at I-270 on or off Post Road......

    off topic - Mickey - I grew up in worthington. dublin was cornfields when I was in ohio. 
    I need to find the pic of the concrete corncobs  , a field of them.  near Tuttle mall. off of Franz Rd.


    Didn't they just celebrate the concrete corn this weekend? 

    We were a lil early to pick up pizza from Enrico's. We decided to go play at the concrete cornfield. 
    2014: Cincinnati
    2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon In My PlacePosts: 19,451
    mickeyrat said:
    Wobbie said:
    mickeyrat said:
    deadendp said:
    mickeyrat said:
    deadendp said:
    mickeyrat said:
    as seen on my way to my sunday meeting this morning....

    and I dont know where else to post this.


    I was struck by how automotive science has changed in 100 yrs....
    At least this one doesn't have tacky, over-sized rims. 

    I have a good idea of where this might be. 
    do tell....
    Dublin, maybe just down the road a bit from the hotel I stayed at when I came down for Columbus Buyers Market. I'm a buyer for an art gallery and I would come down for a 4 day buying weekend for probably the last 10 years. Not surprising that the mart is closing, but there is a year gap before they consider Atlanta as a replacement. More than you wanted to know. 
    Yes south of Muirfield. The Ford is coming out of the Coffman Park complex. Dublin Irish Festival is held on the grounds. To the right of the Ford is city hall.

    Around the corner from  here is a place called The Toy Barn. Higher end,  Exotic and newer muscle cars are sold there. Happened to have a cruise in this morning. Saw maybe 6 of these super cars there. All white. Would guess the toy barn was closer to your hotel.Which I assume was on 161 at I-270 on or off Post Road......

    off topic - Mickey - I grew up in worthington. dublin was cornfields when I was in ohio. 
    I need to find the pic of the concrete corncobs  , a field of them.  near Tuttle mall. off of Franz Rd.

    I just realized how dirty my mind really is. 
    12/29/19
  • Matts3221Matts3221 Posts: 104

    Congrats to everyone on this thread whom is doing a day by day battle with addiction. Even if you are not posting and just reading but staying sober give yourself a pat on the back.

    Every single day is a victory of a very long war.

  • WobbieWobbie Posts: 25,447
    Matts3221 said:

    Every single day is a victory of a very long war.


    day 24.
    If I had known then what I know now...

    Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
    VIC 07
    EV LA1 08
    Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
    Columbus 10
    EV LA 11
    Vancouver 11
    Missoula 12
    Portland 13, Spokane 13
    St. Paul 14, Denver 14
    Philly I & II, 16
  • deadendpdeadendp Northeast OhioPosts: 8,421
    edited October 2
    Turning this subject away from concrete corn (thanks Matts) and onward to thread integrity, I have experienced addiction from the other side-- from the side of family.  Looking for advice.  A lil history: 

    I am the daughter of a raging alcoholic.  I disowned him when I was 15, was adopted by my step father and had a legal name change.  He died back in July.  He had been suffering from mesothelioma for several years prior and his end life request (I kid you not) was to make certain that my sister (had a relationship) and my brother (hadn't had a relationship with him, but went to see him in the end) were both mentioned in the obituary and I was to be left out.  His end desire was to deliver a big fat fuck you to me.  Somehow he thought I would care.  I didn't.  I would have been pissed off if I was mentioned.  He was an ass, was never there and never made us a priority at all.  His drink was all important and as a kid, that sucked.  He made his choice.  I settled up with the way I felt about it back 31 years ago.  Somehow, he thought one last dig after death would get me.  I don't think so.

    My brother is now a recovered heroin addict, but I watched him trip through severe addictions for 22+ years.  My last straw was that he was choosing partying and an abusive girlfriend over his own family.  I had to choose my family over my brother and his addictions.  I told him to contact me after he started making better decisions for his life.  My brother didn't speak to me for 2 1/2 years.  Only just this past year has he sorted himself out, started to be a responsible father, having a relationship with his kids.  My 23 year old niece has custody of her 17 year old brother and has for the last 3 years.  My brother and his ex-wife (who spent 4 years in a women's prison because of antics involving meth addiction) have gotten a home of their own, both have jobs, both are keeping each other out of trouble and are continuing to try to make up for lost time with their children and grandchildren.  And yes, my brother talks to me again. He came to me. 

    My cousin has been in the grips of alcohol addiction for probably 10 years, but hid it well up until the last 3 years or so.  Just Saturday night, she tried to commit suicide because of a series of poor choices with the loss of her job being the cherry on top.  She was home with her boyfriend's 4 year old and chose to overdose on some medications she had.  She phoned her brother in California to tell him, who phoned a brother here.  He went, found her with Landon, phoned 911, had her hauled off and she has been in the psych ward since.  She claims that she is going to go to rehab, again, but the last time she signed herself out, citing a laundry list of reasons-- all of which were not her fault. Several of us in the family have had to block her out of our phones because she would call and call, text and call some more regardless of whether we were at work or not.  She talked in endless loops and got mad at all of us.  Again, we had to choose our families over the hot mess of crazy that kept eating at our very souls. 

    I have been on the family side of addiction.  I have not personally experienced addiction, but the family end can be hell.  How is it that we can be of support?  How is it that we can encourage, not be taken advantage of, and not get suckered into enabling? I'm someone who doesn't take cutting communication off lightly.  (I'm currently being ghosted right now over something, so I do personally know how psychologically damaging it can be.  Believe me, I don't mean it the same way.)  

    I guess the short question is-- What advice do you give to family members? 
    Post edited by deadendp on
    2014: Cincinnati
    2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 15,867
    edited October 2
    for those inmeshed in the insanity the siggestion would be alanon. or just following your model with your brother.

    to try and "help" folks in this state is really not helping at all. we as drunks snd junkies are digging our holes. family trying to help is them kicking dirt back in.... they dont give us a chance to get finished digging.
    Post edited by mickeyrat on
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • hedonisthedonist standing on the edge of foreverPosts: 20,049
    deadendp said:
    Turning this subject away from concrete corn (thanks Matts) and onward to thread integrity, I have experienced addiction from the other side-- from the side of family.  Looking for advice.  A lil history: 

    I am the daughter of a raging alcoholic.  I disowned him when I was 15, was adopted by my step father and had a legal name change.  He died back in July.  He had been suffering from mesothelioma for several years prior and his end life request (I kid you not) was to make certain that my sister (had a relationship) and my brother (hadn't had a relationship with him, but went to see him in the end) were both mentioned in the obituary and I was to be left out.  His end desire was to deliver a big fat fuck you to me.  Somehow he thought I would care.  I didn't.  I would have been pissed off if I was mentioned.  He was an ass, was never there and never made us a priority at all.  His drink was all important and as a kid, that sucked.  He made his choice.  I settled up with the way I felt about it back 31 years ago.  Somehow, he thought one last dig after death would get me.  I don't think so.

    My brother is now a recovered heroin addict, but I watched him trip through severe addictions for 22+ years.  My last straw was that he was choosing partying and an abusive girlfriend over his own family.  I had to choose my family over my brother and his addictions.  I told him to contact me after he started making better decisions for his life.  My brother didn't speak to me for 2 1/2 years.  Only just this past year has he sorted himself out, started to be a responsible father, having a relationship with his kids.  My 23 year old niece has custody of her 17 year old brother and has for the last 3 years.  My brother and his ex-wife (who spent 4 years in a women's prison because of antics involving meth addiction) have gotten a home of their own, both have jobs, both are keeping each other out of trouble and are continuing to try to make up for lost time with their children and grandchildren.  And yes, my brother talks to me again. He came to me. 

    My cousin has been in the grips of alcohol addiction for probably 10 years, but hid it well up until the last 3 years or so.  Just Saturday night, she tried to commit suicide because of a series of poor choices with the loss of her job being the cherry on top.  She was home with her boyfriend's 4 year old and chose to overdose on some medications she had.  She phoned her brother in California to tell him, who phoned a brother here.  He went, found her with Landon, phoned 911, had her hauled off and she has been in the psych ward since.  She claims that she is going to go to rehab, again, but the last time she signed herself out, citing a laundry list of reasons-- all of which were not her fault. Several of us in the family have had to block her out of our phones because she would call and call, text and call some more regardless of whether we were at work or not.  She talked in endless loops and got mad at all of us.  Again, we had to choose our families over the hot mess of crazy that kept eating at our very souls. 

    I have been on the family side of addiction.  I have not personally experienced addiction, but the family end can be hell.  How is it that we can be of support?  How is it that we can encourage, not be taken advantage of, and not get suckered into enabling? I'm someone who doesn't take cutting communication off lightly.  (I'm currently being ghosted right now over something, so I do personally know how psychologically damaging it can be.  Believe me, I don't mean it the same way.)  

    I guess the short question is-- What advice do you give to family members? 
    I wish I knew, my friend.  I think you're wise to put your family first, and it sounds like you're doing what you have to (blocking the phone, etc.) to keep the madness from being in your life - as a safety net, of sorts.

    I hope others here can offer better insight than I.

    And kudos to your brother!
  • FifthelementFifthelement LotuslandPosts: 6,003
    Wobbie said:
    Matts3221 said:

    Every single day is a victory of a very long war.


    day 24.
    Congrats Rob.  Keep it up.

    deadendp said:
    Turning this subject away from concrete corn (thanks Matts) and onward to thread integrity, I have experienced addiction from the other side-- from the side of family.  Looking for advice.  A lil history: 

    I am the daughter of a raging alcoholic.  I disowned him when I was 15, was adopted by my step father and had a legal name change.  He died back in July.  He had been suffering from mesothelioma for several years prior and his end life request (I kid you not) was to make certain that my sister (had a relationship) and my brother (hadn't had a relationship with him, but went to see him in the end) were both mentioned in the obituary and I was to be left out.  His end desire was to deliver a big fat fuck you to me.  Somehow he thought I would care.  I didn't.  I would have been pissed off if I was mentioned.  He was an ass, was never there and never made us a priority at all.  His drink was all important and as a kid, that sucked.  He made his choice.  I settled up with the way I felt about it back 31 years ago.  Somehow, he thought one last dig after death would get me.  I don't think so.

    My brother is now a recovered heroin addict, but I watched him trip through severe addictions for 22+ years.  My last straw was that he was choosing partying and an abusive girlfriend over his own family.  I had to choose my family over my brother and his addictions.  I told him to contact me after he started making better decisions for his life.  My brother didn't speak to me for 2 1/2 years.  Only just this past year has he sorted himself out, started to be a responsible father, having a relationship with his kids.  My 23 year old niece has custody of her 17 year old brother and has for the last 3 years.  My brother and his ex-wife (who spent 4 years in a women's prison because of antics involving meth addiction) have gotten a home of their own, both have jobs, both are keeping each other out of trouble and are continuing to try to make up for lost time with their children and grandchildren.  And yes, my brother talks to me again. He came to me. 

    My cousin has been in the grips of alcohol addiction for probably 10 years, but hid it well up until the last 3 years or so.  Just Saturday night, she tried to commit suicide because of a series of poor choices with the loss of her job being the cherry on top.  She was home with her boyfriend's 4 year old and chose to overdose on some medications she had.  She phoned her brother in California to tell him, who phoned a brother here.  He went, found her with Landon, phoned 911, had her hauled off and she has been in the psych ward since.  She claims that she is going to go to rehab, again, but the last time she signed herself out, citing a laundry list of reasons-- all of which were not her fault. Several of us in the family have had to block her out of our phones because she would call and call, text and call some more regardless of whether we were at work or not.  She talked in endless loops and got mad at all of us.  Again, we had to choose our families over the hot mess of crazy that kept eating at our very souls. 

    I have been on the family side of addiction.  I have not personally experienced addiction, but the family end can be hell.  How is it that we can be of support?  How is it that we can encourage, not be taken advantage of, and not get suckered into enabling? I'm someone who doesn't take cutting communication off lightly.  (I'm currently being ghosted right now over something, so I do personally know how psychologically damaging it can be.  Believe me, I don't mean it the same way.)  

    I guess the short question is-- What advice do you give to family members? 
    Sounds brutal deadendp.  However, your priorities are in the right place - you and your family.  Cutting people with toxic behaviours or habits out of your life is never easy, but  it is necessary.  Sending much love your way.
    "What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
  • hedonisthedonist standing on the edge of foreverPosts: 20,049
    Wobbie said:
    Matts3221 said:

    Every single day is a victory of a very long war.


    day 24.
    Dammit, I meant to congratulate you as well, Wob :hug:
  • deadendpdeadendp Northeast OhioPosts: 8,421
    hedonist said:
    Wobbie said:
    Matts3221 said:

    Every single day is a victory of a very long war.


    day 24.
    Dammit, I meant to congratulate you as well, Wob :hug:
    Me, too! :clap: 
    2014: Cincinnati
    2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
  • deadendpdeadendp Northeast OhioPosts: 8,421
    mickeyrat said:
    for those inmeshed in the insanity the siggestion would be alanon. or just following your model with your brother.

    to try and "help" folks in this state is really not helping at all. we as drunks snd junkies are digging our holes. family trying to help is them kicking dirt back in.... they dont give us a chance to get finished digging.
    Thank you for reaching out and for your words of advice.  Turns out that everything you shared with me was passed on to those who needed it today.  My cousin was released from the hospital and now that she is out, she has decided rehab is a no-go for her.  She wants family support for a re-run of what she bailed on before.  She's having a hard time finding someone to "just support her."  (AKA under her terms, which proved worthless last time.)  Typical, but rehab was doable while she was doing the song and dance waiting to be released from the psych ward. 

    In most wonderful news, a coworker's first soberversary was yesterday.  I recalled him mentioning it many months ago, so I put it onto my calendar.  I tried to track him down before my buying meeting, but couldn't find him.  I left a note on his time card.  He found me today.  I grabbed him up, hugged him tight and told him how proud I was of him.  He said that the note meant the world to him.  I have seen just a little of his battle, but enough to keep checking in.  "Are you still behaving?"  (He knew what I was talking about.)  So very glad that I was able to see him make it to that one year milestone.  
    2014: Cincinnati
    2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
  • WobbieWobbie Posts: 25,447
    ^^^^ a very “Amy thing” to do!

    I’m kind of surprised I wake up tired and with a headache every day since I put the bottle down. I used to joke about being a “functioning alcoholic” but I guess my body was used to that “normal.” on the bright side, once I get going, I have been very productive and I don’t waste my days. I’ve had a few urges to have “a beer or two” (something I could rarely do) but haven’t acted on them.
    If I had known then what I know now...

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  • deadendpdeadendp Northeast OhioPosts: 8,421
    Wobbie said:
    ^^^^ a very “Amy thing” to do!

    I’m kind of surprised I wake up tired and with a headache every day since I put the bottle down. I used to joke about being a “functioning alcoholic” but I guess my body was used to that “normal.” on the bright side, once I get going, I have been very productive and I don’t waste my days. I’ve had a few urges to have “a beer or two” (something I could rarely do) but haven’t acted on them.
    I would be happy to leave you notes on your time card, too.  :kiss: Happy you have been able to get past the headaches and the urges to stick to sobriety.  
    2014: Cincinnati
    2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 15,867
    edited October 3
    Wobbie said:
    ^^^^ a very “Amy thing” to do!

    I’m kind of surprised I wake up tired and with a headache every day since I put the bottle down. I used to joke about being a “functioning alcoholic” but I guess my body was used to that “normal.” on the bright side, once I get going, I have been very productive and I don’t waste my days. I’ve had a few urges to have “a beer or two” (something I could rarely do) but haven’t acted on them.
    I expect you are still in detox mode. whatever selfhealing the body can and will do, can take up to 5 years to accomplish. HOWEVER what you are describing with the headaches is normal. the brain has been pickled for a while now. It will take some time to adjust. Has your nicotine use increased? that could be a contributor...
    Post edited by mickeyrat on
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  • oftenreadingoftenreading Victoria, BCPosts: 10,484
    deadendp said:
    Wobbie said:
    ^^^^ a very “Amy thing” to do!

    I’m kind of surprised I wake up tired and with a headache every day since I put the bottle down. I used to joke about being a “functioning alcoholic” but I guess my body was used to that “normal.” on the bright side, once I get going, I have been very productive and I don’t waste my days. I’ve had a few urges to have “a beer or two” (something I could rarely do) but haven’t acted on them.
    I would be happy to leave you notes on your time card, too.  :kiss: Happy you have been able to get past the headaches and the urges to stick to sobriety.  

    Wob's timecard would be very long, since he started work back in the stone age ;)

    Seriously, wonderful news, Wob. Urges and cravings will come but they will also go. Stay strong and keep on going. 
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
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