PJ fans in 12 step Recovery

mickeyrat

Matts3221 said:

mickeyrat said:

Matts3221 said:

Hobbes said:

Celebrating 13 years clean and sober today.

"And if hope could grow from dirt like me. It can be done."

Amazing , all the love in the world to you and everyone else. One Day , One Week , One Year , One Decade. You should be proud and celebrate every day.

I hope it is ok with everyone that I post on this tread , although not an addict nor having to ever go thru recovery but with my wife having gone thru it and standing by her every step of the day ( 5 years , 5 months , 24 days ) I just love to help cheer anyone on that goes thru it. I love sending her a text with how many days she has been sober. Every day is something everyone should be proud of.

by what mechanism did she find works for her?

While her vice was oxy's so I cannot translate that drinking.

She had decided that she wanted to quit ( I think this is a big piece ) , she also said she said she felt like I had saved her ( although I still tell her she gets all the credit for doing what she did )

I think the biggest thing other than NA meetings , consoling and therapy was that she has a big team behind her. When she first got clean between my family there were 8 of us taking shifts for the first six months , so if she woke up at 2am and felt like she needed to use she could call the person whom for lack of a better word was on shift that night.

Everyday everyone would send her texts or calls about how proud we were and to celebrate the day  at the same time letting her know even if she slipped she could be honest and we would keep supporting her.

I really thinking having a team or squad behind you is huge and I know that not everyone can have that , I don't know what her outcome would have been if she was alone or did not have a group of people whom she could share everything with and not have anyone judge her.

not sure if that answered the question or not but that was what worked for her.

aside from the awesome support she has around her, was she just attending the NA meetings or was/is she working the steps in that program?

just curious. there are any number of ways to get and stay sober/clean.  Whatever works, you know? The result is the THING........

Matts3221

She was attending the N/A meetings , not following the program to a T , after a while she did find some solace in the fact that she would have those new to the program be mentored by her. Having issues with getting thru the first week she likes to speak to those people and let them know it is possible.

She is thinking about a career change at this point in her life to become a counselor , I was only a tiny bit nervous about this but she said it only encourages her to stay sober.

She has some old photos she will look at once and a while when a craving is coming on strong and she said those help because in her head she is saying that although she may be craving it those old photos remind her of how unhappy she was at that time.

I know things are different for everyone in regards to how copy / stay sober / what motivates and what does not.   

mickeyrat

cool shit. So unknown to me, AAWS has some kind of facility in Kansas City Kansas. My company handled a shipment from them to a place called Recovery Emporium.

I was the driver to get it to the terminal of ours that will deliver today.....

Wobbie

long time listener; first time caller.

I have drunk booze for decades....and decades...and decades.

three weekends in a row were kind of shitshows. first, I got shitfaced at a concert....scraped my truck, leaving the parking lot (NEVER should have been driving )....next weekend ; 3 drunken days in SF (fun, but drunken)....following weekend, shitfaced at my SIL’s wedding.
luckily, I was always a happy drunk, but still....

inspired by a buddy who is two years sober, following years of a 12 pack per night “habit,” I quit drinking 19 days ago. I have been around 5-6 “drinking situations” since. no 12 steps for me; I just made the decision. “higher power”? I am my own highest power. I truly think I am done for good.

deadendp

Wobbie said:

long time listener; first time caller.

I have drunk booze for decades....and decades...and decades.

three weekends in a row were kind of shitshows. first, I got shitfaced at a concert....scraped my truck, leaving the parking lot (NEVER should have been driving )....next weekend ; 3 drunken days in SF (fun, but drunken)....following weekend, shitfaced at my SIL’s wedding.
luckily, I was always a happy drunk, but still....

inspired by a buddy who is two years sober, following years of a 12 pack per night “habit,” I quit drinking 19 days ago. I have been around 5-6 “drinking situations” since. no 12 steps for me; I just made the decision. “higher power”? I am my own highest power. I truly think I am done for good.

 

Wobbie

a few pages back, hedonist posted a video by a sober band.

here’s my favorite newly sober artist....jason isbell, formerly of the drive by truckers. dude used to drink a fifth of jack at every show. they threw him out of the truckers, due to his drinking. he is a badass. in fact, I just saw him last week. we were both sober

https://youtu.be/Pd3TZjmR9g4

hedonist

Here’s to those who do what’s best for ourselves.

Recognition is easy.

Action?  Usually not so much.

Good on ya, Wob.  And I like the music.

Much stwength

Fifthelement

Good luck Wob. Where there is a will, there is a way.

oftenreading

Wobbie said:

long time listener; first time caller.

I have drunk booze for decades....and decades...and decades.

three weekends in a row were kind of shitshows. first, I got shitfaced at a concert....scraped my truck, leaving the parking lot (NEVER should have been driving )....next weekend ; 3 drunken days in SF (fun, but drunken)....following weekend, shitfaced at my SIL’s wedding.
luckily, I was always a happy drunk, but still....

inspired by a buddy who is two years sober, following years of a 12 pack per night “habit,” I quit drinking 19 days ago. I have been around 5-6 “drinking situations” since. no 12 steps for me; I just made the decision. “higher power”? I am my own highest power. I truly think I am done for good.

Big hug, Wob. 

But don’t let it go to your head!  

Hobbes

Wob

SD48277

Rob,  

njnancy

We're  all pulling for you Rob. Please share whenever you want.  Non judgment zone.  

Happy first weeks of sobriety! 😊

H.Chinaski

Almost 5 months sober. No 12 stops or AA for me... not yet anyways as i'm not finding it as difficult as i thought it might be. Proud of myself for putting the bottle down. It had to happen!

hedonist

Congratulations!  Just shy of 16 months here, and I've been to one AA meeting, a while back.  It's nice to know it's there should I need it, but thankfully (and surprisingly) feel my own strength is now my own higher power.

No matter how we find it or from where it stems, our will will persevere.

Just do your best!

Wobbie

H.Chinaski said:

Almost 5 months sober. No 12 stops or AA for me... not yet anyways as i'm not finding it as difficult as i thought it might be. Proud of myself for putting the bottle down. It had to happen!

same with me. just read the first “step”....I don’t agree with that at all....I am NOT powerless. after 3 beers, yes, but not powerless to just not “get going.” honestly, drinking had just become a total routine for me. I was drinking 6 days a week and the non-drinking day was always a hungover waste of my life. the fact that this is my third straight non-drinking FRIDAY NIGHT is amazing, even to me.

I’m not judging or discounting anyone who finds peace or success with the 12 steps....it’s just not the way I’m gonna go.

mickeyrat

Wobbie said:

H.Chinaski said:

Almost 5 months sober. No 12 stops or AA for me... not yet anyways as i'm not finding it as difficult as i thought it might be. Proud of myself for putting the bottle down. It had to happen!

same with me. just read the first “step”....I don’t agree with that at all....I am NOT powerless. after 3 beers, yes, but not powerless to just not “get going.” honestly, drinking had just become a total routine for me. I was drinking 6 days a week and the non-drinking day was always a hungover waste of my life. the fact that this is my third straight non-drinking FRIDAY NIGHT is amazing, even to me.

I’m not judging or discounting anyone who finds peace or success with the 12 steps....it’s just not the way I’m gonna go.

you read the first step from the outline?

IN the book on page 30 paragraph 2 the first 2 sentences are as follows...

"We learned we had to concede to our innermost selves we were alcoholic. This is the first step in recovery.

As defined by AA alcoholism is a question of choice and control, or lack thereof. Once I start I dont know when I'll stop  or what will happen and I almost always start

The actual work is a bit different than those 12 numbered sentences.

Wobbie

I could concede to page 30.

again, I think the road to recovery probably takes many different paths.

mickeyrat

Wobbie said:

I could concede to page 30.

again, I think the road to recovery probably takes many different paths.

  absolutely it does. Any number of ways to get and stay sober. The book and org recognize that. All too often a member of makes the false or incomplete claim that AA is the only way. False in that the literature doesnt make that assertion and incomplete because FOR THEM AA may be the only way.

mickeyrat

Wobbie said:

I could concede to page 30.

again, I think the road to recovery probably takes many different paths.

just keep it simple. just worry about staying sober today. tomorrow and beyond arent here yet and will take care of themselves in due course.

kce8

And don't forget to be incredibly proud of yourself, every f..king single day! 

mickeyrat

for those who are able to make the decision and be able to follow through, good on ya. its awesome.

I would still encourage reading some of our literature anyway.  You may find benefit to your journey without formally being a member and doing this work.  Big Book , the 12 and 12 and the living sober book. you can be 12 step adjacent, if you will.

for many of you , its just a matter of breaking that routine. for others these steps are life giving.

either way, the thread exists to share experience and offer support where needed.

Wobbie

yeah, Mickey....the “routine” and I have no doubt I’ll stay sober today even tho I’ll be watching a football game with drinkers.

BTW, I have no problem with other people who drink responsibly. I just didn’t happen to be able to do that.

deadendp

Wobbie said:

yeah, Mickey....the “routine” and I have no doubt I’ll stay sober today even tho I’ll be watching a football game with drinkers.

BTW, I have no problem with other people who drink responsibly. I just didn’t happen to be able to do that.

So many people cannot see that in themselves. 

mickeyrat

deadendp said:

Wobbie said:

yeah, Mickey....the “routine” and I have no doubt I’ll stay sober today even tho I’ll be watching a football game with drinkers.

BTW, I have no problem with other people who drink responsibly. I just didn’t happen to be able to do that.

So many people cannot see that in themselves. 

A Judge usually is though. eventually.

Wobbie

mickeyrat said:

deadendp said:

Wobbie said:

yeah, Mickey....the “routine” and I have no doubt I’ll stay sober today even tho I’ll be watching a football game with drinkers.

BTW, I have no problem with other people who drink responsibly. I just didn’t happen to be able to do that.

So many people cannot see that in themselves. 

A Judge usually is though. eventually.

Wobbie

mickey and others - do you have other “crutches”?

I chewed skoal for 30+ years. I git cancer (not oral) in 2011 and quit. I started up again in the past 2-3 years. I can envision my chew habit escalating...

hedonist

Wobbie said:

yeah, Mickey....the “routine” and I have no doubt I’ll stay sober today even tho I’ll be watching a football game with drinkers.

BTW, I have no problem with other people who drink responsibly. I just didn’t happen to be able to do that.

Amen to this, Wob.  I was drinking responsibly, I thought, until I realized I'd been wearing blinders, and being irreparably irresponsible to the one who matters more than anyone to me - myself.

As to crutches?  Smoking tobacco, still.  I love it and while I've cut down a lot, I currently have no plans to quit.

And you know about my long-term cannabinoidical relationship

mickeyrat

Wobbie said:

mickey and others - do you have other “crutches”?

I chewed skoal for 30+ years. I git cancer (not oral) in 2011 and quit. I started up again in the past 2-3 years. I can envision my chew habit escalating...

cigarettes were the first thing I picked up at 13 and the last thing I put down almost exactly 30 yrs later at 43.

not sure where you are at age and health/weight wise, but do watch your eating habits. The weight creep had me now about 80 lbs over whats most comfortable for me.  50-60 of which came after I quit 8 yrs ago.

portion control.......

Wobbie

age is old.

health is good.

weight is below optimal.

njnancy

hedonist said:

Wobbie said:

yeah, Mickey....the “routine” and I have no doubt I’ll stay sober today even tho I’ll be watching a football game with drinkers.

BTW, I have no problem with other people who drink responsibly. I just didn’t happen to be able to do that.

Amen to this, Wob.  I was drinking responsibly, I thought, until I realized I'd been wearing blinders, and being irreparably irresponsible to the one who matters more than anyone to me - myself.

As to crutches?  Smoking tobacco, still.  I love it and while I've cut down a lot, I currently have no plans to quit.

And you know about my long-term cannabinoidical relationship

I used to think everyone was looking at me when watching TV & a "drink responsibly" commercial would come on. Red flag. 

 I started smoking (& drinking) around 14. I smoked for 20 years after I got sober. AA meetings were one of the few places I could smoke openly as most everyone else did,  & heavily.  I quit smoking July 2017 which i never imagined i would do. I figured I'd passed all the "milestones " but my doctor told me to try e cigarettes.  I did both for  awhile & then just didn't buy cigarettes. I still vape,  keeping my eye on all the news about it.  My doctor is a pulmonary specialist & has told me not to stop at risk of starting cigs again. My 2nd precautionary lung scan is next month which is a scary reminder about smoking. 

Im a coffee addict, all day,  every day & can be a carbohydrate addict but I only indulge on occasion cause it puts weight on real quick. . 

If I had money I would definitely use retail therapy but I don't & I'm not a gambler. 

I use meditation,  writing, reading,  yoga, naps, gardening. I did a lot of outdoor stuff in my early sobriety & did a lot of cooking & baking. I am a prodigious reader. I started doing cross stitch & got real skilled at  it. 

I've seen  a lot of people turn to exercise as a healthy addiction.  Not me. 

I got pregnant during my first year of sobriety & my son definitely filled that hole in my soul that booze had. Being a single mom definitely also filled my need for gratification that I no longer got from a career. 

I had a hell of a time getting sober & what I personally got from AA was a sense of family (after I stopped thinking it was a cult that I didn't belong in). I had never found so many people who I related with about drinking & could even laugh at the darkest of memories. People who knew me my whole life couldn't relate on this part of my life.  Took away that feeling of being "the only one".

 It also gave me  a sense of structure since I had just become disabled & no longer was on anyone's clock.  Or had to leave the house,  so that helped greatly. 

The rest came with time.

And life has had its ups & lots of downs. Im  dually diagnosed so I have therapy & my struggles are with the non drinking part of my status.  They affect my life greatly at times. But nothing is worth picking up again. Nothing. This is who I am.