All things Transgender related

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  • mrussel1
    mrussel1 Posts: 30,879
    cincybearcat said:
    ecdanc said:
    HughFreakingDillon said:
    ecdanc said:
    HughFreakingDillon said:
    ecdanc said:
    cincybearcat said:
    ecdanc said:
    cincybearcat said:
    mrussel1 said:
    Rule of thumb on the AMT.. if you piss off @brianlux, it's probably you.  It's pretty simple.  Brian is the nicest, least argumentative person that's a regular here.  
    Didn’t see you post it before I said basically the same thing again. Right on

    I thought you liked to learn? Apparently not. You just like to lash out with pictures like some others around these parts. 
    I meant this as a lighthearted joke. I get it: I'm the new guy arguing with one of the regulars. See my other post about Brianlux. 
    it's not that at ALL. newbie or not, we're just giving you the barometer to go by. If you piss me off, doesn't necessarily mean anything. Same with most people around here. But Brian, that's a different story. And he doesn't need "protecting", he's good on his own. It was more meant as an exercise in self-reflection. 
    An occurrence from which I'd like to learn. Everyone tells me I approached this wrong, but no one can tell me what the right way to approach it is. That tends to make me think maybe there is no way...
    we've told you. 

    -don't condescend
    -allow others' viewpoints
    -stating your the expert and scholar on any given subject will basically shut down any meaningful dialogue
    -just read the room. if everyone's annoyed with one person, there's probably good reason. 
    And this approach has proven effective for getting people to admit they are wrong?

    Again, I thought you "like to learn" not get people to admit they were wrong.  Sheesh...if that's all you are here for....
    cards are on the table with this statement. 
  • ecdanc
    ecdanc Posts: 1,814
    cincybearcat said:
    ecdanc said:
    HughFreakingDillon said:
    ecdanc said:
    HughFreakingDillon said:
    ecdanc said:
    cincybearcat said:
    ecdanc said:
    cincybearcat said:
    mrussel1 said:
    Rule of thumb on the AMT.. if you piss off @brianlux, it's probably you.  It's pretty simple.  Brian is the nicest, least argumentative person that's a regular here.  
    Didn’t see you post it before I said basically the same thing again. Right on

    I thought you liked to learn? Apparently not. You just like to lash out with pictures like some others around these parts. 
    I meant this as a lighthearted joke. I get it: I'm the new guy arguing with one of the regulars. See my other post about Brianlux. 
    it's not that at ALL. newbie or not, we're just giving you the barometer to go by. If you piss me off, doesn't necessarily mean anything. Same with most people around here. But Brian, that's a different story. And he doesn't need "protecting", he's good on his own. It was more meant as an exercise in self-reflection. 
    An occurrence from which I'd like to learn. Everyone tells me I approached this wrong, but no one can tell me what the right way to approach it is. That tends to make me think maybe there is no way...
    we've told you. 

    -don't condescend
    -allow others' viewpoints
    -stating your the expert and scholar on any given subject will basically shut down any meaningful dialogue
    -just read the room. if everyone's annoyed with one person, there's probably good reason. 
    And this approach has proven effective for getting people to admit they are wrong?

    Again, I thought you "like to learn" not get people to admit they were wrong.  Sheesh...if that's all you are here for....
    I didn’t say I wanted to learn how not to piss people off. I asked for instances where someone has actually changed their position. 
  • ecdanc
    ecdanc Posts: 1,814
    mickeyrat said:
    ecdanc said:
    mickeyrat said:
    ecdanc said:
    HughFreakingDillon said:
    and isn't "old codger" an offensive term? LOL
    An interesting question. My first inclination is to say "no," but let me look up the history of the word. 
    history dictates or how you used it? I read it as derisive. it surely wasnt intended to be benign.  at least in print with no visual , tonal clues to suggest otherwise
    I read Hugh's question as "is the term 'codger' itself offensive *as a term*." Obviously it can be used as an insult, which I was doing in this case. The history of the word helps determine whether it's more broadly offensive. For example, if I say to my friend "you're stupid," I'm being insulting, but (in the context of this conversation not "offensive"). If I say "you're retarded" (apologies for actually writing that out--I worry some might not know what I mean if I say "r-word") I'm being both insulting and offensive. 
    I have to ask, and this is earnest and sincere, are you on the spectrum to some degree?
    Not that I know of. This is just how a lot of academics are. 😳
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,380
    mrussel1 said:
    cincybearcat said:
    ecdanc said:
    HughFreakingDillon said:
    ecdanc said:
    HughFreakingDillon said:
    ecdanc said:
    cincybearcat said:
    ecdanc said:
    cincybearcat said:
    mrussel1 said:
    Rule of thumb on the AMT.. if you piss off @brianlux, it's probably you.  It's pretty simple.  Brian is the nicest, least argumentative person that's a regular here.  
    Didn’t see you post it before I said basically the same thing again. Right on

    I thought you liked to learn? Apparently not. You just like to lash out with pictures like some others around these parts. 
    I meant this as a lighthearted joke. I get it: I'm the new guy arguing with one of the regulars. See my other post about Brianlux. 
    it's not that at ALL. newbie or not, we're just giving you the barometer to go by. If you piss me off, doesn't necessarily mean anything. Same with most people around here. But Brian, that's a different story. And he doesn't need "protecting", he's good on his own. It was more meant as an exercise in self-reflection. 
    An occurrence from which I'd like to learn. Everyone tells me I approached this wrong, but no one can tell me what the right way to approach it is. That tends to make me think maybe there is no way...
    we've told you. 

    -don't condescend
    -allow others' viewpoints
    -stating your the expert and scholar on any given subject will basically shut down any meaningful dialogue
    -just read the room. if everyone's annoyed with one person, there's probably good reason. 
    And this approach has proven effective for getting people to admit they are wrong?

    Again, I thought you "like to learn" not get people to admit they were wrong.  Sheesh...if that's all you are here for....
    cards are on the table with this statement. 
    fold.....
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • cincybearcat
    cincybearcat Posts: 16,831
    mickeyrat said:
    yeah now I get a troll vibe....
    Had that for a while to be honest. 
    hippiemom = goodness
  • brianlux
    brianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 43,662
    This thread's still open?  I'm guessing Kat is on vacation.  :lol:

    More coffee?  Did I hear someone say, "More coffee?"

    YES Please!  :smiley: 

    "It's a sad and beautiful world"
    -Roberto Benigni

  • ecdanc
    ecdanc Posts: 1,814
    HughFreakingDillon said:
    ecdanc said:
    HughFreakingDillon said:
    ecdanc said:
    cincybearcat said:
    ecdanc said:
    cincybearcat said:
    mrussel1 said:
    Rule of thumb on the AMT.. if you piss off @brianlux, it's probably you.  It's pretty simple.  Brian is the nicest, least argumentative person that's a regular here.  
    Didn’t see you post it before I said basically the same thing again. Right on

    I thought you liked to learn? Apparently not. You just like to lash out with pictures like some others around these parts. 
    I meant this as a lighthearted joke. I get it: I'm the new guy arguing with one of the regulars. See my other post about Brianlux. 
    it's not that at ALL. newbie or not, we're just giving you the barometer to go by. If you piss me off, doesn't necessarily mean anything. Same with most people around here. But Brian, that's a different story. And he doesn't need "protecting", he's good on his own. It was more meant as an exercise in self-reflection. 
    An occurrence from which I'd like to learn. Everyone tells me I approached this wrong, but no one can tell me what the right way to approach it is. That tends to make me think maybe there is no way...
    we've told you. 

    -don't condescend
    -allow others' viewpoints
    -stating your the expert and scholar on any given subject will basically shut down any meaningful dialogue
    -just read the room. if everyone's annoyed with one person, there's probably good reason. 
    If I may, I'd like to ask about your third point here. Are you suggesting that experts aren't welcome here? Or merely that you have to keep your expertise under your hat? By way of explanation, I offer for your enjoyment a hypothetical conversation:

    A post about gardening:

    X: My peonies won't grow. Here's what I'm trying, but they just won't grow.
    Y: Well, they're not growing because _____. 
    X: I don't think that's why. 
    Y: I'm pretty sure that's why.
    X: Yeah, how do you know?!?
    Y: Well, I'm a botanist who specializes in peonies. 
    X: Stop being condescending. 

    Fin. 
  • ecdanc
    ecdanc Posts: 1,814
    brianlux said:
    This thread's still open?  I'm guessing Kat is on vacation.  :lol:

    More coffee?  Did I hear someone say, "More coffee?"

    YES Please!  :smiley: 

    Just started a second pot. Grab a cup and come back and join us. I'm about to take us back to transgender issues to stay on topic. 
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,380
    cincybearcat said:
    mickeyrat said:
    yeah now I get a troll vibe....
    Had that for a while to be honest. 
    I can be a little slow on the uptake. all those damaged brain cells....... I make do though.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • ecdanc
    ecdanc Posts: 1,814
    cincybearcat said:
    mickeyrat said:
    yeah now I get a troll vibe....
    Had that for a while to be honest. 
    I'll confess I don't know the precise functional definition of trolling, but I do find these conversations enjoyable. The back and forth about various interesting topics is quite fun. I've seen some excellent questions and some worthy points here. I've tried to modulate my tone to keep things more civil, but the heart of the discussion doesn't seem like a major problem. 
  • ecdanc
    ecdanc Posts: 1,814
    mickeyrat said:
    cincybearcat said:
    mickeyrat said:
    yeah now I get a troll vibe....
    Had that for a while to be honest. 
    I can be a little slow on the uptake. all those damaged brain cells....... I make do though.
    Is it trolling anytime someone disagrees with you? I'm not trying to get a rise; I'm trying to change views. 
  • cincybearcat
    cincybearcat Posts: 16,831
    ecdanc said:
    mickeyrat said:
    cincybearcat said:
    mickeyrat said:
    yeah now I get a troll vibe....
    Had that for a while to be honest. 
    I can be a little slow on the uptake. all those damaged brain cells....... I make do though.
    Is it trolling anytime someone disagrees with you? I'm not trying to get a rise; I'm trying to change views. 
    “I’m here to learn” 
    hippiemom = goodness
  • ecdanc
    ecdanc Posts: 1,814
    edited January 2020
    cincybearcat said:
    ecdanc said:
    mickeyrat said:
    cincybearcat said:
    mickeyrat said:
    yeah now I get a troll vibe....
    Had that for a while to be honest. 
    I can be a little slow on the uptake. all those damaged brain cells....... I make do though.
    Is it trolling anytime someone disagrees with you? I'm not trying to get a rise; I'm trying to change views. 
    “I’m here to learn” 
    I have been very clear about what it is I want to learn, but I can try rephrasing it: does anyone here ever actually change their mind about things? Or is it just a space of constant "agree to disagree?"

    Because I would like to learn how to more effectively speak to people on these boards, but I'm starting to get the sense it might just be a sort of free-for-all where all positions are treated equally. Teehee. 
    Post edited by ecdanc on
  • brianlux
    brianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 43,662
    ecdanc said:
    brianlux said:
    This thread's still open?  I'm guessing Kat is on vacation.  :lol:

    More coffee?  Did I hear someone say, "More coffee?"

    YES Please!  :smiley: 

    Just started a second pot. Grab a cup and come back and join us. I'm about to take us back to transgender issues to stay on topic. 

    Thanks for the invitation. :smile:   I have to head out for the day to do my book and record scouting.  Have a good day!
    "It's a sad and beautiful world"
    -Roberto Benigni

  • mcgruff10
    mcgruff10 New Jersey Posts: 29,114
    I still don’t get the whole gender neutral thing.  What is the purpose?  Won’t a person transition either way?
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • Meltdown99
    Meltdown99 None Of Your Business... Posts: 10,739
    ecdanc said:
    Meltdown99 said:
    I have a cousin who son has transitioned into a female...I was at a funeral and I thought she was his daughter...he has a daughter and son...now 2 daughters.  Al I can say is she was quite stunning.  No one would ever know she used to be a he...
    She is his daughter. 
    Are you that obtuse that you did not understand what implied...
    Give Peas A Chance…
  • ecdanc
    ecdanc Posts: 1,814
    mcgruff10 said:
    I still don’t get the whole gender neutral thing.  What is the purpose?  Won’t a person transition either way?
    Good question. The goal is to minimize the extent which they have to “transition.” Transitioning is very often a traumatic process.  If no one was assigned a gender at birth, no one would have to transition. Trying to come as close to that for P as we can. 
  • ecdanc
    ecdanc Posts: 1,814
    Meltdown99 said:
    ecdanc said:
    Meltdown99 said:
    I have a cousin who son has transitioned into a female...I was at a funeral and I thought she was his daughter...he has a daughter and son...now 2 daughters.  Al I can say is she was quite stunning.  No one would ever know she used to be a he...
    She is his daughter. 
    Are you that obtuse that you did not understand what implied...
    I understand both what he meant and what he said. 
  • dignin
    dignin Posts: 9,478
    mcgruff10 said:
    I still don’t get the whole gender neutral thing.  What is the purpose?  Won’t a person transition either way?
    Not necessarily.

    Plus it might help with guilt, shame, shitty feelings like that. Parents can't help but have expectations and pass that along. I can see how it could make things easier for a child.

    Personally, I'm raising my children as boys. I don't care if they have vaginas. ;)
  • mcgruff10
    mcgruff10 New Jersey Posts: 29,114
    ecdanc said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    I still don’t get the whole gender neutral thing.  What is the purpose?  Won’t a person transition either way?
    Good question. The goal is to minimize the extent which they have to “transition.” Transitioning is very often a traumatic process.  If no one was assigned a gender at birth, no one would have to transition. Trying to come as close to that for P as we can. 
    So you are assuming/predicting/guessing your child might transition?  
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......

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