A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

lastexitlondon

we made to the ocean.had a swim in the sea. Im in the sea now. 

OffSheGoes35

You did it!!! That picture just made my day. Happy Birthday to the little one! 

HughFreakingDillon

lastexitlondon said:

we made to the ocean.had a swim in the sea. Im in the sea now. 

that's why we keep going. good job Rob

hedonist

OffSheGoes35 said:

You did it!!! That picture just made my day. Happy Birthday to the little one! 

I bet it made HER day! And Rob’s. Glad you made it there. 

lastexitlondon

I wish i could freeze  time

mickeyrat

lastexitlondon said:

I wish i could freeze  time

ahh but you did. or rather your partner did(assume partner is the photog.)

Asterisk on the Street

lastexitlondon said:

we made to the ocean.had a swim in the sea. Im in the sea now. 

What a lovely picture. Happy Birthday to your young daughter.

lastexitlondon

I love this picture  so much. 

mickeyrat

lastexitlondon said:

I love this picture  so much. 

get a print made.... and back up the digital to the cloud

lastexitlondon

I think i will  yes

lastexitlondon

Does  anyone  NOT fear death?

mickeyrat

lastexitlondon said:

Does  anyone  NOT fear death?

its not a focus.

I understand it can happen sudden and at any time.  everyday I climb in this truck to work, during the hours I do that risk is there. but I do have skill at this job. so its not a foreboding concern. too much cool shit to see instead.

I was born . I will die  The in-between......

HughFreakingDillon

lastexitlondon said:

Does  anyone  NOT fear death?

at the height of my anxiety, honestly, it was all I thought about. I simultaneously feared it and wished for it. Everything was going to kill me, and I simultaneously was drawn to it and tried to avoid it like the plague. 

a non-anxious person doesn't think about it much, I don't think. I mean, I think about it sometimes in terms of my kids and how they'll feel when I die; I think about my parents as they age occasionally. As you get older sometimes minor decisions are swayed by the prospect of it. I have spent time with loved ones for the sole reason of "anything could happen tomorrow", and I wouldn't want that regret, and I almost always end up enjoying the time spent anyway, so it's win/win. 

I actually now fear the death of others more than my own, since I'm pretty sure I won't know when it happens. I mean, I remember one time passing out while standing up for no particular reason. I didn't know it was happening when it happened, I only knew when I woke up, so if I hadn't woken up, I wouldn't have been the wiser. Only the bar tender and the other patrons would have. LOL

hedonist

I fear my husband’s death. And despite knowing full well going into it that there’s always that finite time with them, the death of our cats. 

Last year, there was a week in the hospital where I waited to hear if I had pancreatic cancer or not. The thoughts that accompany such news! I’m sure others here have been in similar situations; it’s sobering, it makes you take stock.

I don’t fear death, per se. It’s part of life — I know this. But I’m just SO not ready to die yet. 

lastexitlondon

Great posts.  Im feeling  exactly  what you are typing

OffSheGoes35

HughFreakingDillon said:

lastexitlondon said:

Does  anyone  NOT fear death?

at the height of my anxiety, honestly, it was all I thought about. I simultaneously feared it and wished for it. Everything was going to kill me, and I simultaneously was drawn to it and tried to avoid it like the plague. 

a non-anxious person doesn't think about it much, I don't think. I mean, I think about it sometimes in terms of my kids and how they'll feel when I die; I think about my parents as they age occasionally. As you get older sometimes minor decisions are swayed by the prospect of it. I have spent time with loved ones for the sole reason of "anything could happen tomorrow", and I wouldn't want that regret, and I almost always end up enjoying the time spent anyway, so it's win/win. 

I actually now fear the death of others more than my own, since I'm pretty sure I won't know when it happens. I mean, I remember one time passing out while standing up for no particular reason. I didn't know it was happening when it happened, I only knew when I woke up, so if I hadn't woken up, I wouldn't have been the wiser. Only the bar tender and the other patrons would have. LOL

I had a similar experience, only I know why I passed out--my blood sugar was dangerously low. I came to inside an ambulance, an EMT told me they had put honey under my tongue and that I was able to walk to the ambulance with their help, but I had no recollection of that happening. I was just OUT and there was no fear involved. I guess it's like how nobody remembers the earliest years of life. I don't remember what happened right before I passed out. And if I would've died, it wouldn't have been a scary experience for me. 
I told that to my mom in case it happens in the future, so she would know and not worry that I was scared or in pain. Hopefully, it won't happen, but just in case.

HughFreakingDillon

OffSheGoes35 said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

lastexitlondon said:

Does  anyone  NOT fear death?

at the height of my anxiety, honestly, it was all I thought about. I simultaneously feared it and wished for it. Everything was going to kill me, and I simultaneously was drawn to it and tried to avoid it like the plague. 

a non-anxious person doesn't think about it much, I don't think. I mean, I think about it sometimes in terms of my kids and how they'll feel when I die; I think about my parents as they age occasionally. As you get older sometimes minor decisions are swayed by the prospect of it. I have spent time with loved ones for the sole reason of "anything could happen tomorrow", and I wouldn't want that regret, and I almost always end up enjoying the time spent anyway, so it's win/win. 

I actually now fear the death of others more than my own, since I'm pretty sure I won't know when it happens. I mean, I remember one time passing out while standing up for no particular reason. I didn't know it was happening when it happened, I only knew when I woke up, so if I hadn't woken up, I wouldn't have been the wiser. Only the bar tender and the other patrons would have. LOL

I had a similar experience, only I know why I passed out--my blood sugar was dangerously low. I came to inside an ambulance, an EMT told me they had put honey under my tongue and that I was able to walk to the ambulance with their help, but I had no recollection of that happening. I was just OUT and there was no fear involved. I guess it's like how nobody remembers the earliest years of life. I don't remember what happened right before I passed out. And if I would've died, it wouldn't have been a scary experience for me. 
I told that to my mom in case it happens in the future, so she would know and not worry that I was scared or in pain. Hopefully, it won't happen, but just in case.

I was at a bar. went outside for a smoke (quit 16 years ago). woke up face first on the pavement. sure, I'd had a few drinks, but I didn't even feel drunk, before, or after. it was fucking bizarre. hasn't happened since. 

at the time I wasn't much of a smoker; only when I had some drinks. so maybe that caused it? I don't know. but it was kinda scary. glad I didn't have anxiety back then. I'd have been a wreck. 

Matts3221

HughFreakingDillon said:

lastexitlondon said:

Does  anyone  NOT fear death?

at the height of my anxiety, honestly, it was all I thought about. I simultaneously feared it and wished for it. Everything was going to kill me, and I simultaneously was drawn to it and tried to avoid it like the plague. 

a non-anxious person doesn't think about it much, I don't think. I mean, I think about it sometimes in terms of my kids and how they'll feel when I die; I think about my parents as they age occasionally. As you get older sometimes minor decisions are swayed by the prospect of it. I have spent time with loved ones for the sole reason of "anything could happen tomorrow", and I wouldn't want that regret, and I almost always end up enjoying the time spent anyway, so it's win/win. 

I actually now fear the death of others more than my own, since I'm pretty sure I won't know when it happens. I mean, I remember one time passing out while standing up for no particular reason. I didn't know it was happening when it happened, I only knew when I woke up, so if I hadn't woken up, I wouldn't have been the wiser. Only the bar tender and the other patrons would have. LOL

I can very much relate to this , I used to fear it every single day. If it was not cancer , it was HIV , or some unknow brain issue. Whatever it was I assumed I was dead and sometimes I honestly wished I just was dead so I did not have to think about it. One my mind 24/7.

That went away as I got older and went to therapy but will creep up from time to time. Covid certainly did a number on me last year. I started to fear every single day that I was going to catch it and die or give it to my wife and she would die.

Now that I am fully vaccinated and still wear a mask with rising numbers. I don't have that fear of death , still fear of getting Covid but trusting science and that I don't have co-morbities(sp) that even if I did get it I really have slim odds of being taken down by it.

When I said I had a rough weekend recently , I talk to a client of mine on Tuesday and come to fine out that he has been a client for over 10 years with me and we just started having a real heart to heart and he shared with me that he has had stage 4 non - Hodgkin's lymphoma for the past 14 years and was giving at most 5 years to live when first diagnosed.

He went on to say he used to be afraid of death but now just realizes it is part of life and that ever morning when he wakes up its another day he has that he feels he should not.

I teared up , we hugged , I thanked him for what he said because it moved my brain back into the right direction , I know reading something like this may not help but the face to face and hearing him talk about life and death just brought calmness over me.

I will just end with I agree those that don't have anxiety / depression I really think do not think about death that much , I kind of wish that could be me , although I suppose with out anxiety and depression I would not be who I am now.    

Meltdown99

lastexitlondon said:

Does  anyone  NOT fear death?

Fifthelement said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

I though The t this is a safe place not a place to be incorrectly diagnosed by a faceless stranger who has never received training in personality assessment and has no knowledge of underlying theories of personality behind said assessment.

Right now, it seems to me M, that you’re the one making this an unsafe space for another board member. Your passive-aggressive tone and demands to be answered are full of hostility.  WD owe you anything, none of us do.  We share if we feel it might help.  We see similarities in ourselves and struggles. Take from our advice or not.  Be well M. We do want the best for you.  We want the best for all of us.

Nope.  I made it a point to try and live my life to the fullest within my means.  I have travelled extensively, been to around a couple of hundred concerts, sporting events ... etc.  I read one time that we should go into our grave feet first. yelling, "what a ride!!!"  I've done this while suffering from anxiety.

What I fear more is to lay dying or sick for a period of time in a hospital (hate fucking hospitals) waiting to die...that would suck.  

lastexitlondon

I guess  waiting to die is what im fearing