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Pearl Jam turned Better Man into a cream puff song

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    JB128716JB128716 Posts: 2,064
    And how dare anyone play The Police's Every Breath You Take at their weddings.

    That song is about a stalker!!!

    Wake-up People. Lol
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    JB128716JB128716 Posts: 2,064
    JB128716 wrote:
    And how dare anyone play The Police's Every Breath You Take at their weddings.

    That song is about a stalker!!!

    Wake-up People. Lol

    Oops other people beat me to it. I was too lazy to read all the pages.
    92 - Orlando
    03 - Tampa
    08 - Tampa
    12 - DeLuna Fest, EV Orlando 1 & 2, EV Ft Lauderdale 1 & 2
    13 - Wrigley!!! ,Brooklyn 1 & 2, Hartford, OKC, Seattle
    14 - Leeds, Milton Keynes, St Louis
    16 - Ft Lauderdale, Miami, Tampa, Jacksonville, Wrigley 1 & 2
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    Therefore singing along to this song is not, from my point of view at least, demeaning the meaning of the song, but actually an attempt to *relate* and *identify*. Hearing 10 000 people singing back to you, your own personal experiences, must be a very humbling experience. Its singing along to reach out and to say "I know, I understand" - that is at least how I always interpreted it. It is therefore not singing along and changing the meaning of the song as Alive did - for the original meaning I had read in an interview was about suicide - but singing along to reach out to all those who are silenced. That in itself is a form of empowerment.

    Well said!

    I sang along to this song @ MSG2 2010, it was amazing.

    While the lyrics might be about domestic violence, fan's interpretations of it might differ. A victim of DV might sing along to this song because she (usually a female, I'm not being sexist here) identifies with the woman in the song and celebrates their shared attempt to mend a broken situation. Or a previous abuser might sing along because he recognized his wrong-doing and his partner stood by him while he worked through his own issues, thus ending the abuse. Or a younger guy might sing along because he identifies his father with the abuser, and realizes that his own family members were all victims buy they all overcame, etc...

    So sing along or don't, but don't assume you speak on behalf of anyone other than yourself.
    Journey Begins: 1992-08-15, Montage Mountain Performing Arts Center,
    Scranton, Pennsylvania

    Journey Ends:
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    PJ-CubsPJ-Cubs Posts: 3,293
    OGT92 wrote:
    Funny...the only reason I want to hear Betterman at a show is the intro/sing-a-long. I get the chills most times. Oh and also the Save it for later tag.

    Otherwise I could care less if they ever played it again. I did like what Ed did with it for his solo show.

    Never been a fan of the EV solo "lullaby" version of Betterman.
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    Big Bank HankBig Bank Hank Seattle, WA Posts: 8,639
    the word pussification may have been the wrong term, but Iived and that is the term we used to describe a song that has become soft, but I will change the title to something more politically correct, since the band has become a political band anyway
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    Big Bank HankBig Bank Hank Seattle, WA Posts: 8,639
    since there are so many in here with the attention span of........and want to dissect every single word, fine whatever, the song has become soft and weak, but that is fine whatever, sing along enjoy yourselves, and kid yourself into believing whatever you want, and the fact that Eddie would take a song that meant something and actually change it to what he has, I am not surprised, back in the day they were complaining about Ticketmaster, but now they play $20,000 a plate fundraisers for Obama, talk about weak, so at least I stand for what I believe and can see the whole picture and the totality of what is said, and not take 7 or 8 words out of 10,000, but with some of the attention spans nowadays, I can't expect many to actually engage in deep thought, but the few of you in this thread who actually are critical thinkers and look at the whole picture I applaud you, because that is becoming rare nowadays, and I could care less about the negative comments, because if you only have one sentence to say about domestic violence, you obviously don't have anything that contributes to the conversation, or that will change the world, in fact it comes across as hollow, but if you are happy in a hollow existence than you should do what makes you happy, I believe the whole point in life is to be the best person you can possibly be, and for me that means caring about the injustices in the world and trying to make the world a better place.
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    moyboymoyboy Posts: 131
    edited February 2013
    since there are so many in here with the attention span of........and want to dissect every single word, fine whatever, the song has become soft and weak, but that is fine whatever, sing along enjoy yourselves, and kid yourself into believing whatever you want, and the fact that Eddie would take a song that meant something and actually change it to what he has, I am not surprised, back in the day they were complaining about Ticketmaster, but now they play $20,000 a plate fundraisers for Obama, talk about weak, so at least I stand for what I believe and can see the whole picture and the totality of what is said, and not take 7 or 8 words out of 10,000, but with some of the attention spans nowadays, I can't expect many to actually engage in deep thought, but the few of you in this thread who actually are critical thinkers and look at the whole picture I applaud you, because that is becoming rare nowadays, and I could care less about the negative comments, because if you only have one sentence to say about domestic violence, you obviously don't have anything that contributes to the conversation, or that will change the world, in fact it comes across as hollow, but if you are happy in a hollow existence than you should do what makes you happy, I believe the whole point in life is to be the best person you can possibly be, and for me that means caring about the injustices in the world and trying to make the world a better place.

    wow, you seem fun.

    ranting on the Internet about a song losing its meaning to you does not equal curing the world of injustices.

    if only it were that easy.
    Post edited by moyboy on
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    Big Bank HankBig Bank Hank Seattle, WA Posts: 8,639
    Pearl Jam - Better Man (Live in Atlanta, 1994) R.I.P. :cry:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QdRJwSTRn8
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    since there are so many in here with the attention span of........and want to dissect every single word, fine whatever, the song has become soft and weak, but that is fine whatever, sing along enjoy yourselves, and kid yourself into believing whatever you want, and the fact that Eddie would take a song that meant something and actually change it to what he has, I am not surprised, back in the day they were complaining about Ticketmaster, but now they play $20,000 a plate fundraisers for Obama, talk about weak, so at least I stand for what I believe and can see the whole picture and the totality of what is said, and not take 7 or 8 words out of 10,000, but with some of the attention spans nowadays, I can't expect many to actually engage in deep thought, but the few of you in this thread who actually are critical thinkers and look at the whole picture I applaud you, because that is becoming rare nowadays, and I could care less about the negative comments, because if you only have one sentence to say about domestic violence, you obviously don't have anything that contributes to the conversation, or that will change the world, in fact it comes across as hollow, but if you are happy in a hollow existence than you should do what makes you happy, I believe the whole point in life is to be the best person you can possibly be, and for me that means caring about the injustices in the world and trying to make the world a better place.

    Hello run on sentence. Smoke some weed, its just a song.
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    MangoMango Brisbane, Australia (via Dublin, Ireland) Posts: 1,049
    dig_zps17b0ee2e.jpg
    "Life comes from within your heart and desire"
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    Big Bank HankBig Bank Hank Seattle, WA Posts: 8,639
    PJ_Soul wrote:
    Tom K wrote:
    Although there probably isn't much to add to this thread, I will say that Eddie has dedicated "Betterman" to Charlie DeFabio, Philadelphia Spectrum employee, twice. Are we to assume that Charlie has some kind of history of domestic abuse and Eddie is publicly shaming this old man or can we safely assume that Eddie also sees an alternative meaning to the lyrics?

    BTW I understand what the original poster is trying to point out........

    and for 81..

    President Obama is coming for your guns !
    He dedicated it to John Tester in MT too.
    Eddie is perfectly open to his songs having different meanings and everything (just like he's said that the meaning of Alive has changed for him since it was written). The meaning of Better Man hasn't changed because the lyrics really are so clear that it's not open for interpretation, BUT that doesn't mean that the same emotion has to be attached to it all the time, and certainly not that people shouldn't be happy about singing it at the top of their lungs.
    well thought out response, and it is not people singing the song, but singing not knowing the meaning, if you understand the meaning and want to sing to celebrate the moment that is different, half the people at the concert think the song means something totally different, that is the point, but I still miss the old version, but if you like singing the song, like I have said throughout this thread do it, just don't be ignorant and not know what the songs about, because many people are, but celebrating the moment is cool, really just wanted to hopefully shed light on the real meaning, that's all, but too many want to take one sentence and invalidate the totality of what is said, it seems like everyone's favorite saying in here "it lost all credibility with....." and it is like a few words out of whole bunch, because it requires deep thought and too many words can be too hard to process, but I appreciate the few who actually gave this real consideration and looked beyond the title of thread which I wasn't meaning as a derogatory term towards women, but whatever since that is all some people can see whatever, I respect opinions that are different, especially if they are fair and well thought out
  • Options
    Big Bank HankBig Bank Hank Seattle, WA Posts: 8,639
    since there are so many in here with the attention span of........and want to dissect every single word, fine whatever, the song has become soft and weak, but that is fine whatever, sing along enjoy yourselves, and kid yourself into believing whatever you want, and the fact that Eddie would take a song that meant something and actually change it to what he has, I am not surprised, back in the day they were complaining about Ticketmaster, but now they play $20,000 a plate fundraisers for Obama, talk about weak, so at least I stand for what I believe and can see the whole picture and the totality of what is said, and not take 7 or 8 words out of 10,000, but with some of the attention spans nowadays, I can't expect many to actually engage in deep thought, but the few of you in this thread who actually are critical thinkers and look at the whole picture I applaud you, because that is becoming rare nowadays, and I could care less about the negative comments, because if you only have one sentence to say about domestic violence, you obviously don't have anything that contributes to the conversation, or that will change the world, in fact it comes across as hollow, but if you are happy in a hollow existence than you should do what makes you happy, I believe the whole point in life is to be the best person you can possibly be, and for me that means caring about the injustices in the world and trying to make the world a better place.

    Hello run on sentence. Smoke some weed, its just a song.
    you got some? I could use some right about now maybe that is what Got Some is about :lol:
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    Big Bank HankBig Bank Hank Seattle, WA Posts: 8,639
    a University Of North Carolina student has been charged with an honor code violation for speaking out against the student who sexually assaulted her by the school for creating a hostile environment for her attacker

    http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/unc-sexual-assault-rape-victim-honor-code-142933849.html

    You are being charged with the following Honor Code violation(s):
    I.C.1.c. - Disruptive or intimidating behavior that willfully abuses, disparages, or otherwise interferes with another (other than on the basis of protected classifications identified and addressed in the University's Policy on Prohibited Harassment and Discrimination) so as to adversely affect their academic pursuits, opportunities for University employment, participation in University-sponsored extracurricular activities, or opportunities to benefit from other aspects of University Life.
    The matter has been turned over to UNC's student-run Honor Court. If found guilty, Gambill could be subject to a range of sanctions, including probation, suspension or even expulsion.

    University Of North Carolina proves my point for me, thank you very little UNC :fp:

    In 2010, the Department of Justice estimated that 25 percent of college women "will be victims of rape or attempted rape before they graduate within a four-year college period," and that schools with more than 6,000 students "average one rape per day during the school year.”
  • Options
    TyTy Posts: 1,007
    Pearl Jam - Better Man (Live in Atlanta, 1994) R.I.P. :cry:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QdRJwSTRn8

    Wasn't this like the 4th time it was played?

    You just don't like being told you are a dickhead by a lot of people. So many contradictions. We don't agree with domestic violence, of course. We are as passionate about it as the next person. But you relating it to what fans think of a song? You are twisted, and still... a dickhead. Totes, yo!

    "Can't find a better maaaannn, can't fiiiind a better maaaaaaaaaannnn!" Awesome!
    PJ - Sydney 1998; Sydney 2003; Sydney, Melbourne, Newcastle 2006; Melbourne, Sydney 2009; Gold Coast, Melbourne, Sydney 2014.
    EV - Canberra, Newcastle, Sydney 2011; Sydney 2014.
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    I haven't been able to understand anything that Eddie says or sings ever!

    That is why I always want to hear mankind.


    If you got a good woman, don't fuck it up.
    Once divided
    There's nothing to subtract...
    It's a hopeless... situation
    And I'm starting to believe
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    vant0037vant0037 Posts: 6,071
    I am sick of reading people on Twitter quoting the song and not paying attention to the song or what it was written about it was a song speaking out against domestic violence I use to think of it as speaking out against it, but ####ing people have made it into a hollow campfire sing along

    Once again, has Pearl Jam done this or have people done it? It's pointless to rail at the band about this when it seems like it's people you're really mad at.

    ...either way, weird, weird thread.
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    TyTy Posts: 1,007
    PJ_Soul wrote:
    Tom K wrote:
    Although there probably isn't much to add to this thread, I will say that Eddie has dedicated "Betterman" to Charlie DeFabio, Philadelphia Spectrum employee, twice. Are we to assume that Charlie has some kind of history of domestic abuse and Eddie is publicly shaming this old man or can we safely assume that Eddie also sees an alternative meaning to the lyrics?

    BTW I understand what the original poster is trying to point out........

    and for 81..

    President Obama is coming for your guns !
    He dedicated it to John Tester in MT too.
    Eddie is perfectly open to his songs having different meanings and everything (just like he's said that the meaning of Alive has changed for him since it was written). The meaning of Better Man hasn't changed because the lyrics really are so clear that it's not open for interpretation, BUT that doesn't mean that the same emotion has to be attached to it all the time, and certainly not that people shouldn't be happy about singing it at the top of their lungs.
    well thought out response, and it is not people singing the song, but singing not knowing the meaning, if you understand the meaning and want to sing to celebrate the moment that is different, half the people at the concert think the song means something totally different, that is the point, but I still miss the old version, but if you like singing the song, like I have said throughout this thread do it, just don't be ignorant and not know what the songs about, because many people are, but celebrating the moment is cool, really just wanted to hopefully shed light on the real meaning, that's all, but too many want to take one sentence and invalidate the totality of what is said, it seems like everyone's favorite saying in here "it lost all credibility with....." and it is like a few words out of whole bunch, because it requires deep thought and too many words can be too hard to process, but I appreciate the few who actually gave this real consideration and looked beyond the title of thread which I wasn't meaning as a derogatory term towards women, but whatever since that is all some people can see whatever, I respect opinions that are different, especially if they are fair and well thought out

    And hey Pearl Jam Jesus (Big Bank Hank), I bet you don't know the true meaning of every song they wrote, and I'm sure you sing a long just fine. Boy, you are a dickhead. I bet you are a Republican too.

    Also, on believing in something, maybe they really believe in Obama and believe in helping his campaign raise as much money from the rich as they can (re: "$20,000 a plate"). They stand for something openly, which is cool. They always have... "Pro-Choice", voting, Ticketmaster, gun control, etc.
    PJ - Sydney 1998; Sydney 2003; Sydney, Melbourne, Newcastle 2006; Melbourne, Sydney 2009; Gold Coast, Melbourne, Sydney 2014.
    EV - Canberra, Newcastle, Sydney 2011; Sydney 2014.
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    Big Bank HankBig Bank Hank Seattle, WA Posts: 8,639
    Ty wrote:
    Pearl Jam - Better Man (Live in Atlanta, 1994) R.I.P. :cry:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QdRJwSTRn8

    Wasn't this like the 4th time it was played?

    You just don't like being told you are a dickhead by a lot of people. So many contradictions. We don't agree with domestic violence, of course. We are as passionate about it as the next person. But you relating it to what fans think of a song? You are twisted, and still... a dickhead. Totes, yo!

    "Can't find a better maaaannn, can't fiiiind a better maaaaaaaaaannnn!" Awesome!
    I don't take self evaluation from someone with such a limited vocabulary
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    papa_pearls_jam.pj20papa_pearls_jam.pj20 Chicago USA Posts: 2,142
    Mango wrote:
    dig_zps17b0ee2e.jpg
    :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
    Posimists. Fuck the pessimists...fuck'em.
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    a University Of North Carolina student has been charged with an honor code violation for speaking out against the student who sexually assaulted her by the school for creating a hostile environment for her attacker

    http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/unc-sexual-assault-rape-victim-honor-code-142933849.html

    You are being charged with the following Honor Code violation(s):
    I.C.1.c. - Disruptive or intimidating behavior that willfully abuses, disparages, or otherwise interferes with another (other than on the basis of protected classifications identified and addressed in the University's Policy on Prohibited Harassment and Discrimination) so as to adversely affect their academic pursuits, opportunities for University employment, participation in University-sponsored extracurricular activities, or opportunities to benefit from other aspects of University Life.
    The matter has been turned over to UNC's student-run Honor Court. If found guilty, Gambill could be subject to a range of sanctions, including probation, suspension or even expulsion.

    University Of North Carolina proves my point for me, thank you very little UNC :fp:

    In 2010, the Department of Justice estimated that 25 percent of college women "will be victims of rape or attempted rape before they graduate within a four-year college period," and that schools with more than 6,000 students "average one rape per day during the school year.”

    In 2010 a crowd at a Pearl Jam show was accused by many as being one of the best crowds in recent years. Forum members speaking out about the event have made comments such as that the crowd sing-a-long on Betterman was fantastic and chill-inducing.

    The matter has been turned over to Cameron Crowe who found that very performance good enough to include on the PJ20 soundtrack and the performance has been highly regarded by everyone.

    The crowd is being charged with the following Concert Code conducts:
    - Enjoying a great song by a great band live
    - Singing along, further unifying the emotional gratification of being in a great crowd


    Seriously man, nothing wrong with the crowds singing along at all, it is not up to us to assess what someone else feels about the song - just worry about your enjoyment of it and move along
  • Options
    Big Bank HankBig Bank Hank Seattle, WA Posts: 8,639
    edited February 2013
    a University Of North Carolina student has been charged with an honor code violation for speaking out against the student who sexually assaulted her by the school for creating a hostile environment for her attacker

    http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/unc-sexual-assault-rape-victim-honor-code-142933849.html

    You are being charged with the following Honor Code violation(s):
    I.C.1.c. - Disruptive or intimidating behavior that willfully abuses, disparages, or otherwise interferes with another (other than on the basis of protected classifications identified and addressed in the University's Policy on Prohibited Harassment and Discrimination) so as to adversely affect their academic pursuits, opportunities for University employment, participation in University-sponsored extracurricular activities, or opportunities to benefit from other aspects of University Life.
    The matter has been turned over to UNC's student-run Honor Court. If found guilty, Gambill could be subject to a range of sanctions, including probation, suspension or even expulsion.

    University Of North Carolina proves my point for me, thank you very little UNC :fp:

    In 2010, the Department of Justice estimated that 25 percent of college women "will be victims of rape or attempted rape before they graduate within a four-year college period," and that schools with more than 6,000 students "average one rape per day during the school year.”

    In 2010 a crowd at a Pearl Jam show was accused by many as being one of the best crowds in recent years. Forum members speaking out about the event have made comments such as that the crowd sing-a-long on Betterman was fantastic and chill-inducing.

    The matter has been turned over to Cameron Crowe who found that very performance good enough to include on the PJ20 soundtrack and the performance has been highly regarded by everyone.

    The crowd is being charged with the following Concert Code conducts:
    - Enjoying a great song by a great band live
    - Singing along, further unifying the emotional gratification of being in a great crowd


    Seriously man, nothing wrong with the crowds singing along at all, it is not up to us to assess what someone else feels about the song - just worry about your enjoyment of it and move along
    I have said throughout the thread I don't care if people sing along, seriously, people don't know how to read I guess, it is people think it is a love song, and the song has become pretty weak as well, but that is my opinion, and there is no problem with differing opinions
    Post edited by Big Bank Hank on
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    papa_pearls_jam.pj20papa_pearls_jam.pj20 Chicago USA Posts: 2,142
    a University Of North Carolina student has been charged with an honor code violation for speaking out against the student who sexually assaulted her by the school for creating a hostile environment for her attacker

    http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/unc-sexual-assault-rape-victim-honor-code-142933849.html

    You are being charged with the following Honor Code violation(s):
    I.C.1.c. - Disruptive or intimidating behavior that willfully abuses, disparages, or otherwise interferes with another (other than on the basis of protected classifications identified and addressed in the University's Policy on Prohibited Harassment and Discrimination) so as to adversely affect their academic pursuits, opportunities for University employment, participation in University-sponsored extracurricular activities, or opportunities to benefit from other aspects of University Life.
    The matter has been turned over to UNC's student-run Honor Court. If found guilty, Gambill could be subject to a range of sanctions, including probation, suspension or even expulsion.

    University Of North Carolina proves my point for me, thank you very little UNC :fp:

    In 2010, the Department of Justice estimated that 25 percent of college women "will be victims of rape or attempted rape before they graduate within a four-year college period," and that schools with more than 6,000 students "average one rape per day during the school year.”

    In 2010 a crowd at a Pearl Jam show was accused by many as being one of the best crowds in recent years. Forum members speaking out about the event have made comments such as that the crowd sing-a-long on Betterman was fantastic and chill-inducing.

    The matter has been turned over to Cameron Crowe who found that very performance good enough to include on the PJ20 soundtrack and the performance has been highly regarded by everyone.

    The crowd is being charged with the following Concert Code conducts:
    - Enjoying a great song by a great band live
    - Singing along, further unifying the emotional gratification of being in a great crowd


    Seriously man, nothing wrong with the crowds singing along at all, it is not up to us to assess what someone else feels about the song - just worry about your enjoyment of it and move along
    Maybe, Hank should explain it to us again...and, again...and...again.
    :corn:
    Posimists. Fuck the pessimists...fuck'em.
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    Big Bank HankBig Bank Hank Seattle, WA Posts: 8,639
    Maybe, Hank should explain it to us again...and, again...and...again.
    :corn:
    I wouldn't have to if people could read, but you are right I am done with this anyway, nothing in life will ever be exactly the way we want it, they put Johnny Guitar on Backspacer so I would have to FF past it every time

    :lol:
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    Pjzepp67Pjzepp67 Posts: 445
    Maybe, Hank should explain it to us again...and, again...and...again.
    :corn:
    I wouldn't have to if people could read, but you are right I am done with this anyway, nothing in life will ever be exactly the way we want it, they put Johnny Guitar on Backspacer so I would have to FF past it every time

    :lol:

    FFS Hank...I've enjoyed this thread and all your posts and even sent up some words of encouragement earlier as I felt, like you, nobody was getting your point that it wasn't the singing but the lost meaning of the song that was gettin' on your tits...but to turn round at the end of your polarising defence and slate Johnny Guitar...well thats a whole new can o' worms my friend.

    Good luck with that one... :fp:
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    Big Bank HankBig Bank Hank Seattle, WA Posts: 8,639
    Pjzepp67 wrote:
    Maybe, Hank should explain it to us again...and, again...and...again.
    :corn:
    I wouldn't have to if people could read, but you are right I am done with this anyway, nothing in life will ever be exactly the way we want it, they put Johnny Guitar on Backspacer so I would have to FF past it every time

    :lol:

    FFS Hank...I've enjoyed this thread and all your posts and even sent up some words of encouragement earlier as I felt, like you, nobody was getting your point that it wasn't the singing but the lost meaning of the song that was gettin' on your tits...but to turn round at the end of your polarising defence and slate Johnny Guitar...well thats a whole new can o' worms my friend.

    Good luck with that one... :fp:
    lol, sorry can't stand that song, like nails on the chalkboard, and I wish I could hear one concert without Even Flow, lol, but they are still going to play it, and I will still keep listening, because 99% of stuff I absolutely love, but I guess nobody can like something 100% of the time :lol:
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    IamTomIamTom Posts: 1,138
    'I have said throughout the thread I don't care if people sing along, seriously, people don't know how to read I guess, it is people think it is a love song, and the song has become pretty weak as well, but that is my opinion, and there is no problem with differing opinions'


    As I'm sure you're aware,Hank,quite often the reason people(I say people because victims of DV can be of either sex) give for not leaving the relationship is love. Yes,this will usually be the denial needed to escape the fear,struggle,challenge of leaving. Perhaps this type of 'love' was modelled in their family of origin and the victim knows no different.

    I've always seen this as a wonderfully heartbreaking love song. Illustrating clearly the difficulty of leaving something when it seems its all you've got or deserve.

    If people don't 'get' the song so what? There's plenty I've not got in my time.

    I wonder if it would be more useful to work with the White Ribbon campaign than dumping on a message board.

    I have no idea what Eddie and the band do behind the scenes for DV. If the song helped one man stop or one woman get out I imagine its more useful than a message board rant.

    It's felt,to me,that you're attacking when you don't know other's viewpoints. How do I know the person singing along next to me isn't celebrating they got out,that they're heartbroken because they can't get out but the song gives them hope,that it pisses them off because their sister can't leave her relationship?

    Or maybe they don't get the song or want to and that's ok too.
    Given To Live -

    Latest story - Declan at Slipknot is up on the website now at www.giventolive.com along with Kayleigh at Foo Fighters, Tony at Stereophonics and more.

    Inspired by Pearl Jam, making live music dreams come true.
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    Big Bank HankBig Bank Hank Seattle, WA Posts: 8,639
    IamTom wrote:
    'I have said throughout the thread I don't care if people sing along, seriously, people don't know how to read I guess, it is people think it is a love song, and the song has become pretty weak as well, but that is my opinion, and there is no problem with differing opinions'


    As I'm sure you're aware,Hank,quite often the reason people(I say people because victims of DV can be of either sex) give for not leaving the relationship is love. Yes,this will usually be the denial needed to escape the fear,struggle,challenge of leaving. Perhaps this type of 'love' was modelled in their family of origin and the victim knows no different.

    I've always seen this as a wonderfully heartbreaking love song. Illustrating clearly the difficulty of leaving something when it seems its all you've got or deserve.

    If people don't 'get' the song so what? There's plenty I've not got in my time.

    I wonder if it would be more useful to work with the White Ribbon campaign than dumping on a message board.

    I have no idea what Eddie and the band do behind the scenes for DV. If the song helped one man stop or one woman get out I imagine its more useful than a message board rant.

    It's felt,to me,that you're attacking when you don't know other's viewpoints. How do I know the person singing along next to me isn't celebrating they got out,that they're heartbroken because they can't get out but the song gives them hope,that it pisses them off because their sister can't leave her relationship?

    Or maybe they don't get the song or want to and that's ok too.
    just wanted to get people thinking why the song was written in the first place, that's all, but I do like the old version better, but I am a big fan of Amongst The Waves because of the live version and when the crowd sings with Eddie:
    Remember back, the early days
    When you were young, and less amazed
    Suddenly the channel changed
    The first time you saw blood

    Cut to later, now you're strong
    You've bled yourself, the wounds are gone
    It's rare when there is nothing wrong
    Survived and you're amongst the fittest

    Love ain't love until you feel it
    Up riding high amongst the waves

    I can feel like I
    Have a soul that has been saved
    I can see the light
    Coming through the clouds in rays

    I gotta say it now
    Better loud than too late
    I gotta say it now
    Better loud than too late

    and there are a lot of people on this board who hate that song, so it would be hypocritical of me to tell anyone that sing, because I feel like I have a soul that has been saved when I listen to Pearl Jam radio every day or a new concert I have never heard before, and that song encapsulizes that feeling for me, so if someone feels that way about Better Man cool, celebrate the moment, but it shouldn't be turned into a love song the way it has, and I am not even saying anyone on this board has, just have perspective
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    I like the song Betterman.
    I like cream puffs.
    Domestic Abuse is wrong.

    Now can we please move on.
    Take me piece by piece.....
    Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
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    ckravitzckravitz NJ Posts: 1,668
    I like the song Betterman.
    I like cream puffs.
    Domestic Abuse is wrong.

    Now can we please move on.

    :lol::lol:
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    Hey everybody, it's literal man!!!!
    I
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