Things Men Do... When Women Aren't Around

F Me In The Brain

Wife travels quite a bit. The last time she was gone all weekend I did these:

Fri Night
1. Watched 'The Natural' for the 7,000th time.
2. Dared myself to make the next batch of margaritas *even* stronger. (Yes, I am fully aware that this is sort of a problem. Which is why I do it when she is not around!)
3. Stayed up until 3 in the morning watching movies I didn't remember watching when I stumbled out of bed Sat AM.

Sat
4. Enjoyed total silence and read a book in an afternoon because of the total silence.
5. Grabbed a few Lobsters & a bunch of Mussels when at the market, cooked a massive dinner and had a 2nd consecutive Margarita Challenge Night.
6. Listened to multiple PJ boots consecutively at obscene volume.
7. Ate most of 'her' flavor Ice Cream for snack, directly from the carton and then put it back in the freezer.
8. Drunk called many of my CA friends and annoyed them.

She asked if I missed her. Had to tell her the truth and say 'Not Really.'

drinkbigredinstead

Stuff to do with their johnson, women aren't the only ones that need to keep the south lawn neat and tidy you know

I'm a Truck

drinkbigredinstead wrote:

Stuff to do with their johnson, women aren't the only ones that need to keep the south lawn neat and tidy you know

I've been trying to put that into words for like an hour! Well said!!!!

peacefrompaul

drinkbigredinstead wrote:

Stuff to do with their johnson, women aren't the only ones that need to keep the south lawn neat and tidy you know

Johnson

JonnyPistachio

F Me In The Brain wrote:

Wife travels quite a bit. The last time she was gone all weekend I did these:

Fri Night
1. Watched 'The Natural' for the 7,000th time.
2. Dared myself to make the next batch of margaritas *even* stronger. (Yes, I am fully aware that this is sort of a problem. Which is why I do it when she is not around!)
3. Stayed up until 3 in the morning watching movies I didn't remember watching when I stumbled out of bed Sat AM.

Sat
4. Enjoyed total silence and read a book in an afternoon because of the total silence.
5. Grabbed a few Lobsters & a bunch of Mussels when at the market, cooked a massive dinner and had a 2nd consecutive Margarita Challenge Night.
6. Listened to multiple PJ boots consecutively at obscene volume.
7. Ate most of 'her' flavor Ice Cream for snack, directly from the carton and then put it back in the freezer.
8. Drunk called many of my CA friends and annoyed them.

She asked if I missed her. Had to tell her the truth and say 'Not Really.'

Black Diamond

F Me In The Brain wrote:

Wife travels quite a bit. The last time she was gone all weekend I did these:

Fri Night
1. Watched 'The Natural' for the 7,000th time.
2. Dared myself to make the next batch of margaritas *even* stronger. (Yes, I am fully aware that this is sort of a problem. Which is why I do it when she is not around!)
3. Stayed up until 3 in the morning watching movies I didn't remember watching when I stumbled out of bed Sat AM.

Sat
4. Enjoyed total silence and read a book in an afternoon because of the total silence.
5. Grabbed a few Lobsters & a bunch of Mussels when at the market, cooked a massive dinner and had a 2nd consecutive Margarita Challenge Night.
6. Listened to multiple PJ boots consecutively at obscene volume.
7. Ate most of 'her' flavor Ice Cream for snack, directly from the carton and then put it back in the freezer.
8. Drunk called many of my CA friends and annoyed them.

She asked if I missed her. Had to tell her the truth and say 'Not Really.'

Wow!! Send out invites next time

mca47

F Me In The Brain wrote:

Wife travels quite a bit. The last time she was gone all weekend I did these:

Fri Night
1. Watched 'The Natural' for the 7,000th time.
2. Dared myself to make the next batch of margaritas *even* stronger. (Yes, I am fully aware that this is sort of a problem. Which is why I do it when she is not around!)
3. Stayed up until 3 in the morning watching movies I didn't remember watching when I stumbled out of bed Sat AM.

Sat
4. Enjoyed total silence and read a book in an afternoon because of the total silence.
5. Grabbed a few Lobsters & a bunch of Mussels when at the market, cooked a massive dinner and had a 2nd consecutive Margarita Challenge Night.
6. Listened to multiple PJ boots consecutively at obscene volume.
7. Ate most of 'her' flavor Ice Cream for snack, directly from the carton and then put it back in the freezer.
8. Drunk called many of my CA friends and annoyed them.

She asked if I missed her. Had to tell her the truth and say 'Not Really.'

Awesome!
The main reason I'm single was just outlined right here!
Can do what I want when I want...in silence!

I'm a Truck

I miss silence.

shep

81 wrote:

shep wrote:

JonnyPistachio wrote:

I know, just messing witcha. I know, us literal folks are pricks sometimes.

But thanks for the idea.. off to google "fun with babysitter"

Oddly enough, when I google that, i really didn't get what I was expecting/hoping for from google images...

I was led to believe the internet was used mostly for sharing porn... this google search would lead me to believe people have been giving me the wrong information....

:corn:

turn off safe search

Safe search is off....

I'm so confused... :crazy:

the most interesting picture that comes up on the first 10 pages of images is this:



so I'm gonna stand by my original comment. :P

Nature Lover

81 wrote:

gotta admit, when i'm home alone for a few days....

i lounge in my underwear
leave empty beer cans where ever it becomes empty
and some other unmentionable stuff.

81

Nature Lover wrote:

81 wrote:

gotta admit, when i'm home alone for a few days....

i lounge in my underwear
leave empty beer cans where ever it becomes empty
and some other unmentionable stuff.

You also invite friends over and have whip cream fights! :fp:

Btw, when is the next porch party?

thought it best to leave that out.

talk of a trip to NY around March 9th. :fp: so i dunno...

john roach

What would Jesus do?

john roach

Sandles in middle of floor, water pitchers all full of wine, bread husks and fish bones all over the place...

Bathgate66

Pee with the seat down

CAVSTARR313

I think the obvious choice is a given..

I may get some shit for this from ya'll but,, I act just the same whether she is here or not. Get drunk, crank the vinyl, act a fool, pass out with my clothes on.. She seems to appreciate the honesty of it all..

My advice.. act the way you act, do the shit you do.. If she still marries you, you are set for life

Leezestarr313

Caveeze wrote:

I think the obvious choice is a given..

I may get some shit for this from ya'll but,, I act just the same whether she is here or not. Get drunk, crank the vinyl, act a fool, pass out with my clothes on.. She seems to appreciate the honesty of it all..

My advice.. act the way you act, do the shit you do.. If she still marries you, you are set for life

He's right :roll:

I think actually a thread that would ask the women what they do when guys are not around would be much more entertaining. Just sayin :ugeek:

I'm a Truck

Caveeze wrote:

I think the obvious choice is a given..

I may get some shit for this from ya'll but,, I act just the same whether she is here or not. Get drunk, crank the vinyl, act a fool, pass out with my clothes on.. She seems to appreciate the honesty of it all..

My advice.. act the way you act, do the shit you do.. If she still marries you, you are set for life

I still don't want to take a dump with the door open no matter if she's ok with it or not! But if she's not home I just feel better about certain things.

Dissidentman

I'm a Truck wrote:

Caveeze wrote:

I think the obvious choice is a given..

I may get some shit for this from ya'll but,, I act just the same whether she is here or not. Get drunk, crank the vinyl, act a fool, pass out with my clothes on.. She seems to appreciate the honesty of it all..

My advice.. act the way you act, do the shit you do.. If she still marries you, you are set for life

I still don't want to take a dump with the door open no matter if she's ok with it or not! But if she's not home I just feel better about certain things.

I'm home alone, posting on this board.



UGH

rick1zoo2

doing it right now

PJ_Soul

peacefrompaul wrote:

Mamasan23 wrote:

peacefrompaul wrote:

Worst bathroom to clean?

Women's bathroom.

Fucking gross

No way man!! :nono: I keep my bathroom pristine! Men get little hairs everywhere from shaving. EVERYWHERE! Worse than fucking crumbs.

Tampoons

The smell of a smelly vagina

Worse than smelling a huge deuce

:? How drunk are you??