even saying "most" is a complete overgeneralization. it's just plain untrue.
Maybe.
I'm basing my statement on polls that show that people who go to church once or more per week also voted 74% to keep me out of my husband's hospital room after he was in his motorcycle accident and was unconscious and unable to make care decisions for himself.
Religion: In the cult of Singularity, (superintelligence is the future) holds that; Singularity is not a matter of faith but of understanding. That to survive, humans must discard religion.
To this I say; I wonder if these people realize how ultra-exclusive this new cult will be. I doubt they will get accepted though as only the rich will be able to afford transcending and by the time the rest of us can, there will already be such a huge gap creating yet one more class of humans, and is no different than creating yet another dogma—we don't need either dammit!
We must learn to covet what roils inside us. Label it what you will but I call it faith and say it's a matter of understanding that faith surely does matter - dammit!
even saying "most" is a complete overgeneralization. it's just plain untrue.
Maybe.
I'm basing my statement on polls that show that people who go to church once or more per week also voted 74% to keep me out of my husband's hospital room after he was in his motorcycle accident and was unconscious and unable to make care decisions for himself.
Which, if you ask me, is pretty evil.
they aren't evil. they are the product of the system they grew up in, whether that means of the church itself, or their intolerant parents. You have to remember, that change doesn't happen overnight, and that people aren't just going to change the beliefs they've been fed for decades.
the church has believed for over 2000 years their god told them that man should lay with woman only. if they admit that this is wrong and immoral, doesn't that call their entire belief system and all words of god into question? so you can see their dilemma.
I'm not making excuses for bigotry. I'm just saying they aren't evil. just misguided.
Gimli 1993
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
A dose of understanding all around for you and your family. Sustaining love is what is important
even if some concessions must be made. We got but one life with the souls we call family here,
we come from the same blood, there is meaning in this, great connection. If it is only you who
forgives and concedes, all will be rewarded but your heart will be freed.
i dont understand this post. TA says his mother calls him evil for not going to church, his sister has called him selfish for the same reason. he has chosen not to enter a church and not because he no longer believes, but for a reason his family cant seem to respect so they verbally abuse him. yet the above post says if it is only him who forgives and concedes all will be rewarded but his heart will be freed? it seems to me that the post is saying that he should suck it up and attend church even though it clearly goes against his principles. can you please explain the underlined sentence cause im sure im not the only one who doesnt know what is being said here.
Pandora as Catefrances said, I am not to sure what you meant by the last sentence also.
If you suggest I just go to keep the peace then I disagree with that.
We should not have to live our lives how others want us to.
I have gone on Easter and Christmas to keep the peace so that family lunches on those days are not tense.
I have given up going to keep the peace.
Last time I went I tried not to laugh in church, the priest looked like some mad bad dictator, he kept frowning and saying there are many young ones not singing and praying out loud, he even eye balled me whilst everyone was praying out aloud as I was silent.
Also all the fake Catholics in attendance made me chuckle, I know some of them and outside church they are not the nicest people around, yet they fake it for the hour in church.
No thanks, I'd rather stay home on Sundays and religious days and listen to music, that is my church!
I'll explain...
I'm suggesting you break this pattern of abuse in your family
with understanding and forgiveness.
Not even knowing your mama and sister I understand why they feel this way.
Your sister misses you being by her side, she needs her brother
and your mother, being deeply religious, fears for your afterlife.
Is it so much to ask to support the women who love you?
In doing so your heart will be healed and your women rewarded,
in turn so shall you.
It's not about the church or believing it is about love, support,
loyalty for your blood kin.
You will not have them forever nor they you.
Or you can remain with what makes you happiest
disregard their needs or what brings happiness to them,
your choice.
I'm not making excuses for bigotry. I'm just saying they aren't evil. just misguided.
I know.. and there are times I wish I could be like that.
I just see Mitt Romney shrugging when asked about the hospital thing and saying that states should get to decide on that "benefit" while his wifebot sat next to him and silently bobbed her head.
And then I think about back when I was 22 and saw my closest friends dropping dead around me, many of them dying alone after laying alone for days in hospital rooms, begging to see their partners and the partners outside the rooms begging to be let in while security dragged them away and muttered things like "I can't wait til this kills all these faggots so we don't have to deal with them anymore."
It might be my own defense mechanism, but it's a lot less painful to write them off as "evil" than shrug it off as "misguided actions by otherwise good people."
I'm suggesting you break this pattern of abuse in your family
with understanding and forgiveness.
Not even knowing your mama and sister I understand why they feel this way.
Your sister misses you being by her side, she needs her brother
and your mother, being deeply religious, fears for your afterlife.
Is it so much to ask to support the women who love you?
In doing so your heart will be healed and your women rewarded,
in turn so shall you.
It's not about the church or believing it is about love, support,
loyalty for your blood kin.
You will not have them forever nor they you.
Or you can remain with what makes you happiest
disregard their needs or what beings happiness to them,
your choice.
So you're suggesting he goes against his beliefs, instead of his family accepting him for who he is?
That might be your most condesencing post I've read.
Believe me, when I was growin up, I thought the worst thing you could turn out to be was normal, So I say freaks in the most complementary way. Here's a song by a fellow freak - E.V
I'm suggesting you break this pattern of abuse in your family
with understanding and forgiveness.
Not even knowing your mama and sister I understand why they feel this way.
Your sister misses you being by her side, she needs her brother
and your mother, being deeply religious, fears for your afterlife.
Is it so much to ask to support the women who love you?
In doing so your heart will be healed and your women rewarded,
in turn so shall you.
It's not about the church or believing it is about love, support,
loyalty for your blood kin.
You will not have them forever nor they you.
Or you can remain with what makes you happiest
disregard their needs or what beings happiness to them,
your choice.
So you're suggesting he goes against his beliefs, instead of his family accepting him for who he is?
That might be your most condesencing post I've read.
Condescending to whom?
Condescending Acting in a way that betrays a feeling of patronizing superiority.
(of an action) Demonstrating such an attitude.
Suggesting someone pleases the people who love them and they love
is condescending? hmmmm....
I'm suggesting you break this pattern of abuse in your family
with understanding and forgiveness.
Not even knowing your mama and sister I understand why they feel this way.
Your sister misses you being by her side, she needs her brother
and your mother, being deeply religious, fears for your afterlife.
Is it so much to ask to support the women who love you?
In doing so your heart will be healed and your women rewarded,
in turn so shall you.
It's not about the church or believing it is about love, support,
loyalty for your blood kin.
You will not have them forever nor they you.
Or you can remain with what makes you happiest
disregard their needs or what beings happiness to them,
your choice.
this is like telling a battered wife to just stop pissing off her husband instead of leaving him. this is ludicrous.
Gimli 1993
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
I'm suggesting you break this pattern of abuse in your family
with understanding and forgiveness.
Not even knowing your mama and sister I understand why they feel this way.
Your sister misses you being by her side, she needs her brother
and your mother, being deeply religious, fears for your afterlife.
Is it so much to ask to support the women who love you?
In doing so your heart will be healed and your women rewarded,
in turn so shall you.
It's not about the church or believing it is about love, support,
loyalty for your blood kin.
You will not have them forever nor they you.
Or you can remain with what makes you happiest
disregard their needs or what beings happiness to them,
your choice.
this is like telling a battered wife to just stop pissing off her husband instead of leaving him. this is ludicrous.
ridiculous...
analogies not your strong suit huh
a battered wife must leave her abuser at the very first strike, no comparison
to attending church with his mother and sister.
these women need their brother, son ...
and perhaps he needs to be needed as well
or as I said he can continue on his path without concern for
their needs or happiness. His choice.
End of discussion I think I've made it pretty clear that I feel understanding and giving
are the reasons why we are here.
a battered wife must leave her abuser at the very first strike, no comparison
to attending church with his mother an sister.
these women need their brother and son ...
and perhaps he needs to be needed as well or as I said he can continue on his path without concern for
their needs or happiness. His choice.
End of discussion I think I've made it pretty clear that I feel understanding and giving
are the reasons why we are here.
yeah, it's all about going to church. :roll:
emotional abuse or physical, you don't ever try to "appease" the abuser at your own personal sacrifice. family or not.
Gimli 1993
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
a battered wife must leave her abuser at the very first strike, no comparison
to attending church with his mother an sister.
these women need their brother and son ...
and perhaps he needs to be needed as well or as I said he can continue on his path without concern for
their needs or happiness. His choice.
End of discussion I think I've made it pretty clear that I feel understanding and giving
are the reasons why we are here.
yeah, it's all about going to church. :roll:
emotional abuse or physical, you don't ever try to "appease" the abuser at your own personal sacrifice. family or not.
Effects In many ways, emotional abuse is more psychologically harmful than physical abuse. There are a couple of reasons for this. Even in the most violent families, the incidents tend to be cyclical. Early in the abuse cycle, a violent outburst is followed by a honeymoon period of remorse, attention, affection, and generosity, but not genuine compassion. (The honeymoon stage eventually ends, as the victim begins to say, "Never mind the damn flowers, just stop hitting me!") Emotional abuse, on the other hand, tends to happen every day. The effects are more harmful because they're so frequent.
The other factor that makes emotional abuse so devastating is the greater likelihood that victims will blame themselves. If someone hits you, it's easier to see that he or she is the problem, but if the abuse is subtle - saying or implying that you're ugly, a bad parent, stupid, incompetent, not worth attention, or that no one could love you - you are more likely to think it's your problem. Emotional abuse seems more personal than physical abuse, more about you as a person, more about your spirit. It makes love hurt.
If you suspect that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, take the Walking on Eggshells quiz. If your score indicates that you are walking on eggshells, the test will lead you to information on what to do about it.
Gimli 1993
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
Effects In many ways, emotional abuse is more psychologically harmful than physical abuse. There are a couple of reasons for this. Even in the most violent families, the incidents tend to be cyclical. Early in the abuse cycle, a violent outburst is followed by a honeymoon period of remorse, attention, affection, and generosity, but not genuine compassion. (The honeymoon stage eventually ends, as the victim begins to say, "Never mind the damn flowers, just stop hitting me!") Emotional abuse, on the other hand, tends to happen every day. The effects are more harmful because they're so frequent.
The other factor that makes emotional abuse so devastating is the greater likelihood that victims will blame themselves. If someone hits you, it's easier to see that he or she is the problem, but if the abuse is subtle - saying or implying that you're ugly, a bad parent, stupid, incompetent, not worth attention, or that no one could love you - you are more likely to think it's your problem. Emotional abuse seems more personal than physical abuse, more about you as a person, more about your spirit. It makes love hurt.
If you suspect that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, take the Walking on Eggshells quiz. If your score indicates that you are walking on eggshells, the test will lead you to information on what to do about it.
I'm sorry I can not compare a mothers love and worry for her son,
a sister telling her sibling he is selfish for withholding precious moments
to this article.
I do not think we will agree and I have said my piece to try to help this poster
not coddle him. I feel he can give and understand.
Now enough talking about someone...
most especially when they are in the room. :?
I made a suggestion for and to him not you.
I was asked by him to explain my original plea better ... I complied.
0
brianlux
Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 42,090
There are indeed a lot of nasty people in the church, but there are good ones too:
Malcolm Boyd is one cool dude!
“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” Variously credited to Mark Twain or Edward Abbey.
even saying "most" is a complete overgeneralization. it's just plain untrue.
Maybe.
I'm basing my statement on polls that show that people who go to church once or more per week also voted 74% to keep me out of my husband's hospital room after he was in his motorcycle accident and was unconscious and unable to make care decisions for himself.
Which, if you ask me, is pretty evil.
Greetings Prince:
They aren’t inherently evil, just conditioned and many are simply insecure in their own sexuality.
Though it should never be like this and sucks your being discriminated against, it is getting better and really at a very fast rate due to technology such as this board.
As I’ve gotten a bit older, I give them a bit more slack, see humans as the simple creatures they are but don’t pass up opportunity to explain my thoughts and positions on equality.
I'm sorry I can not compare a mothers love and worry for her son,
a sister telling her sibling he is selfish for withholding precious moments
to this article.
I do not think we will agree and I have said my piece to try to help this poster
not coddle him. I feel he can give and understand.
Now enough talking about someone...
most especially when they are in the room. :?
I made a suggestion for and to him not you.
I was asked by him to explain my original plea better ... I complied.
good god. a mother's love and worry for her son. good GOD. coddle him. good GOD.
withholding precious moments. GOOD GOD.
Gimli 1993
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
There are indeed a lot of nasty people in the church, but there are good ones too:
Malcolm Boyd is one cool dude!
"By my definition, prayer is consciously hanging out with God.
Being with God in a deliberate way. "
Malcolm Boyd
this stuck with me awhile back, felt good.
Yeah, I love this book and I don't consider myself a religious person. This book was once a strand of hope in an all but hopeless time for me. If there are saints, Malcolm is surely one of them.
“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” Variously credited to Mark Twain or Edward Abbey.
There are indeed a lot of nasty people in the church, but there are good ones too:
Malcolm Boyd is one cool dude!
"By my definition, prayer is consciously hanging out with God.
Being with God in a deliberate way. "
Malcolm Boyd
this stuck with me awhile back, felt good.
Yeah, I love this book and I don't consider myself a religious person. This book was once a strand of hope in an all but hopeless time for me. If there are saints, Malcolm is surely one of them.
Thats a lovely sentiment and tribute...
I must check out the book. Uplifting is something I value in books and writing.
Thanks!
good god. a mother's love and worry for her son. good GOD. coddle him. good GOD.
withholding precious moments. GOOD GOD.
If I acquiesced to all of the (eventually inconsequential) worries my mother has had for me, she would have an unhappy and unfulfilled daughter. A parent's job is, among other things, to raise their child to be independent on all fronts, to think for themselves, to stand up for what they believe in (or choose not to follow). If doing that leads the child to a path that parts from that of their parents, so be it.
I respect where TA is coming from, and his refusal to bend on something so important to him...and if my family ever disparaged me or called me hateful for not going to temple (and they never have), I'd say there's more to it than just religion, and going to church.
If I acquiesced to all of the (eventually inconsequential) worries my mother has had for me, she would have an unhappy and unfulfilled daughter. A parent's job is, among other things, to raise their child to be independent on all fronts, to think for themselves, to stand up for what they believe in (or choose not to follow). If doing that leads the child to a path that parts from that of their parents, so be it.
I respect where TA is coming from, and his refusal to bend on something so important to him...and if my family ever disparaged me or called me hateful for not going to temple (and they never have), I'd say there's more to it than just religion, and going to church.
People must eventually learn outside their wants and needs. It is not all about you.
When something is important to someone they love this should be considered.
This parent child, child parent and all relationships.
It is not only a parents job to teach independence but to teach loyalty, love,
and family bonds.
One's beliefs do not need be compromised, just one's stubbornness.
It's ok to embrace, give, understand, fulfill and remember
the needs of those who love you.
No one is suggesting compromising beliefs only remembering the needs of others.
People must eventually learn outside their wants and needs. It is not all about you.
When something is important to someone they love this should be considered.
This parent child, child parent and all relationships.
It is not only a parents job to teach independence but to teach loyalty, love,
and family bonds.
One's beliefs do not need be compromised, just one's stubbornness.
It's ok to embrace, give, understand, fulfill and remember
the needs of those who love you.
No one is suggesting compromising beliefs only remembering the needs of others.
I don't think anyone's insinuating the me-me-me mindset; it's about standing firm on significant issues.
Perhaps you're the bigger person for having been able to do this with your parents, or with your children. Surely they've held tight to stances with which you've disagreed, and vice versa?
By the way, being selfish to a degree isn't necessarily a negative trait.
People must eventually learn outside their wants and needs. It is not all about you.
When something is important to someone they love this should be considered.
This parent child, child parent and all relationships.
It is not only a parents job to teach independence but to teach loyalty, love,
and family bonds.
One's beliefs do not need be compromised, just one's stubbornness.
It's ok to embrace, give, understand, fulfill and remember
the needs of those who love you.
No one is suggesting compromising beliefs only remembering the needs of others.
I don't think anyone's insinuating the me-me-me mindset; it's about standing firm on significant issues.
Perhaps you're the bigger person for having been able to do this with your parents, or with your children. Surely they've held tight to stances with which you've disagreed, and vice versa?
By the way, being selfish to a degree isn't necessarily a negative trait.
But there is no need to be selfish in this case. Beliefs values are not compromised to accompany
a loved one to church. Simply explain that you do it for the love of them.
In some cases families can begin hurting each other and disappointing each other,
it escalates. Love begins to leave. Walls go up. Alienation.
This why I suggested pleasing and mending. A positive approach.
Lord knows hurting is not the answer, moving towards bonding is the answer.
But there is no need to be selfish in this case. Beliefs values are not compromised to accompany
a loved one to church. Simply explain that you do it for the love of them.
In some cases families can begin hurting each other and disappointing each other,
it escalates. Love begins to leave. Walls go up. Alienation.
This why I suggested pleasing and mending. A positive approach.
Lord knows hurting is not the answer, moving towards bonding is the answer.
PANDORA. YOU DON'T KNOW THE WHOLE STORY. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT. IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT CHURCH. IT'S A LOT MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAT. TRUST ME. LEAVE IT BE.
Gimli 1993
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
I'm suggesting you break this pattern of abuse in your family
with understanding and forgiveness.
Not even knowing your mama and sister I understand why they feel this way.
Your sister misses you being by her side, she needs her brother
and your mother, being deeply religious, fears for your afterlife.
Is it so much to ask to support the women who love you?
In doing so your heart will be healed and your women rewarded,
in turn so shall you.
It's not about the church or believing it is about love, support,
loyalty for your blood kin.
You will not have them forever nor they you.
Or you can remain with what makes you happiest
disregard their needs or what brings happiness to them,
your choice.
What the hell did I just read. I am shocked at your post and very disappointed that you are painting me out to be a selfish person in all this. I thought you were a nice person going by your PM's to me.
My sister misses me by her side? What the hell, she couldn't care less, we don't see eye to eye on many things.
Support the women who love me? Support them how and why?
Your last paragraph really ticks me off, disregard their needs?
What about what brings happiness to me?
What kind of person are you to say such things.
So I cannot live my life how I want, instead I must ''support'' my mum and sister and disregard my needs for theirs?
Unbelievable.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
But there is no need to be selfish in this case. Beliefs values are not compromised to accompany
a loved one to church. Simply explain that you do it for the love of them.
In some cases families can begin hurting each other and disappointing each other,
it escalates. Love begins to leave. Walls go up. Alienation.
This why I suggested pleasing and mending. A positive approach.
Lord knows hurting is not the answer, moving towards bonding is the answer.
Wow. Calling me selfish?
In my previous post I mentioned that you are painting me out to be a selfish person.
Well now that I have seen the above post you made later it confirms that.
Please do not PM me again.
It is people like you that cause my depression to get worse and for me to want to kill myself.
People like you that make me feel all guilty and dirty for being who I am.
How dare you.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
But there is no need to be selfish in this case. Beliefs values are not compromised to accompany
a loved one to church. Simply explain that you do it for the love of them.
In some cases families can begin hurting each other and disappointing each other,
it escalates. Love begins to leave. Walls go up. Alienation.
This why I suggested pleasing and mending. A positive approach.
Lord knows hurting is not the answer, moving towards bonding is the answer.
Wow. Calling me selfish?
In my previous post I mentioned that you are painting me out to be a selfish person.
Well now that I have seen the above post you made later it confirms that.
Please do not PM me again.
It is people like you that cause my depression to get worse and for me to want to kill myself.
People like you that make me feel all guilty and dirty for being who I am.
How dare you.
don't let what she says bother you. it's meaningless. she once posted on here how she felt sorry for my wife and daughters because they had me for a wife and father. she goes over the line repeatedly with her insults. just don't let it get to you.
Gimli 1993
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
Man, sparks fly when religion comes into the pic. When I first came on here, I was forwarned about trolls. I envisioned someone who intentionally baits, however, after reading this entire thread, maybe I was mistaken. Do trolls refer to anyone who might go into a "troll mode" but otherwise be a decent person?
This thread began about the evils that lurk behind totalitarian religions. Then, it could be said is was more specific; totalitarian catholicism. Then even, it could be said is was about how religion skews personal bonds. But now, it's turned ugly, there is a pitting against one, and if that's how it goes in the world of
trolls—I say this thread needs to die.
It is my humble opinion that: anyone who makes it thru childhood experiencing only religion delivering unto them rapture—not perversions, physical or mental, are damn lucky. My compassion goes to all who don't.
And as for Pandora, her intention was obvious: when you can, choose paths lightened by positives rather than darkened by negatives—(a dogma that's been around much longer than catholicism). I'd say her offering most likely came from how she herself found her center and was merely, from a compassionate stance, attempting to offer the same.
Yuk, I'm going to another thread. This one doesn't work for me.
Comments
Maybe.
I'm basing my statement on polls that show that people who go to church once or more per week also voted 74% to keep me out of my husband's hospital room after he was in his motorcycle accident and was unconscious and unable to make care decisions for himself.
Which, if you ask me, is pretty evil.
To this I say; I wonder if these people realize how ultra-exclusive this new cult will be. I doubt they will get accepted though as only the rich will be able to afford transcending and by the time the rest of us can, there will already be such a huge gap creating yet one more class of humans, and is no different than creating yet another dogma—we don't need either dammit!
We must learn to covet what roils inside us. Label it what you will but I call it faith and say it's a matter of understanding that faith surely does matter - dammit!
they aren't evil. they are the product of the system they grew up in, whether that means of the church itself, or their intolerant parents. You have to remember, that change doesn't happen overnight, and that people aren't just going to change the beliefs they've been fed for decades.
the church has believed for over 2000 years their god told them that man should lay with woman only. if they admit that this is wrong and immoral, doesn't that call their entire belief system and all words of god into question? so you can see their dilemma.
I'm not making excuses for bigotry. I'm just saying they aren't evil. just misguided.
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
I'm suggesting you break this pattern of abuse in your family
with understanding and forgiveness.
Not even knowing your mama and sister I understand why they feel this way.
Your sister misses you being by her side, she needs her brother
and your mother, being deeply religious, fears for your afterlife.
Is it so much to ask to support the women who love you?
In doing so your heart will be healed and your women rewarded,
in turn so shall you.
It's not about the church or believing it is about love, support,
loyalty for your blood kin.
You will not have them forever nor they you.
Or you can remain with what makes you happiest
disregard their needs or what brings happiness to them,
your choice.
I know.. and there are times I wish I could be like that.
I just see Mitt Romney shrugging when asked about the hospital thing and saying that states should get to decide on that "benefit" while his wifebot sat next to him and silently bobbed her head.
And then I think about back when I was 22 and saw my closest friends dropping dead around me, many of them dying alone after laying alone for days in hospital rooms, begging to see their partners and the partners outside the rooms begging to be let in while security dragged them away and muttered things like "I can't wait til this kills all these faggots so we don't have to deal with them anymore."
It might be my own defense mechanism, but it's a lot less painful to write them off as "evil" than shrug it off as "misguided actions by otherwise good people."
That might be your most condesencing post I've read.
Condescending
Acting in a way that betrays a feeling of patronizing superiority.
(of an action) Demonstrating such an attitude.
Suggesting someone pleases the people who love them and they love
is condescending? hmmmm....
this is like telling a battered wife to just stop pissing off her husband instead of leaving him. this is ludicrous.
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
analogies not your strong suit huh
a battered wife must leave her abuser at the very first strike, no comparison
to attending church with his mother and sister.
these women need their brother, son ...
and perhaps he needs to be needed as well
or as I said he can continue on his path without concern for
their needs or happiness. His choice.
End of discussion I think I've made it pretty clear that I feel understanding and giving
are the reasons why we are here.
yeah, it's all about going to church. :roll:
emotional abuse or physical, you don't ever try to "appease" the abuser at your own personal sacrifice. family or not.
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/200808/effects-emotional-abuse-it-hurts-when-i-love
Effects
In many ways, emotional abuse is more psychologically harmful than physical abuse. There are a couple of reasons for this. Even in the most violent families, the incidents tend to be cyclical. Early in the abuse cycle, a violent outburst is followed by a honeymoon period of remorse, attention, affection, and generosity, but not genuine compassion. (The honeymoon stage eventually ends, as the victim begins to say, "Never mind the damn flowers, just stop hitting me!") Emotional abuse, on the other hand, tends to happen every day. The effects are more harmful because they're so frequent.
The other factor that makes emotional abuse so devastating is the greater likelihood that victims will blame themselves. If someone hits you, it's easier to see that he or she is the problem, but if the abuse is subtle - saying or implying that you're ugly, a bad parent, stupid, incompetent, not worth attention, or that no one could love you - you are more likely to think it's your problem. Emotional abuse seems more personal than physical abuse, more about you as a person, more about your spirit. It makes love hurt.
If you suspect that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, take the Walking on Eggshells quiz. If your score indicates that you are walking on eggshells, the test will lead you to information on what to do about it.
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
as usual, you assume you know the whole story, which I know for a FACT that you don't.
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
a sister telling her sibling he is selfish for withholding precious moments
to this article.
I do not think we will agree and I have said my piece to try to help this poster
not coddle him. I feel he can give and understand.
Now enough talking about someone...
most especially when they are in the room. :?
I made a suggestion for and to him not you.
I was asked by him to explain my original plea better ... I complied.
Malcolm Boyd is one cool dude!
They aren’t inherently evil, just conditioned and many are simply insecure in their own sexuality.
Though it should never be like this and sucks your being discriminated against, it is getting better and really at a very fast rate due to technology such as this board.
As I’ve gotten a bit older, I give them a bit more slack, see humans as the simple creatures they are but don’t pass up opportunity to explain my thoughts and positions on equality.
good god. a mother's love and worry for her son. good GOD. coddle him. good GOD.
withholding precious moments. GOOD GOD.
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
"By my definition, prayer is consciously hanging out with God.
Being with God in a deliberate way. "
Malcolm Boyd
this stuck with me awhile back, felt good.
Yeah, I love this book and I don't consider myself a religious person. This book was once a strand of hope in an all but hopeless time for me. If there are saints, Malcolm is surely one of them.
I must check out the book. Uplifting is something I value in books and writing.
Thanks!
I respect where TA is coming from, and his refusal to bend on something so important to him...and if my family ever disparaged me or called me hateful for not going to temple (and they never have), I'd say there's more to it than just religion, and going to church.
When something is important to someone they love this should be considered.
This parent child, child parent and all relationships.
It is not only a parents job to teach independence but to teach loyalty, love,
and family bonds.
One's beliefs do not need be compromised, just one's stubbornness.
It's ok to embrace, give, understand, fulfill and remember
the needs of those who love you.
No one is suggesting compromising beliefs only remembering the needs of others.
Perhaps you're the bigger person for having been able to do this with your parents, or with your children. Surely they've held tight to stances with which you've disagreed, and vice versa?
By the way, being selfish to a degree isn't necessarily a negative trait.
a loved one to church. Simply explain that you do it for the love of them.
In some cases families can begin hurting each other and disappointing each other,
it escalates. Love begins to leave. Walls go up. Alienation.
This why I suggested pleasing and mending. A positive approach.
Lord knows hurting is not the answer, moving towards bonding is the answer.
PANDORA. YOU DON'T KNOW THE WHOLE STORY. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT. IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT CHURCH. IT'S A LOT MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAT. TRUST ME. LEAVE IT BE.
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
What the hell did I just read. I am shocked at your post and very disappointed that you are painting me out to be a selfish person in all this. I thought you were a nice person going by your PM's to me.
My sister misses me by her side? What the hell, she couldn't care less, we don't see eye to eye on many things.
Support the women who love me? Support them how and why?
Your last paragraph really ticks me off, disregard their needs?
What about what brings happiness to me?
What kind of person are you to say such things.
So I cannot live my life how I want, instead I must ''support'' my mum and sister and disregard my needs for theirs?
Unbelievable.
Wow. Calling me selfish?
In my previous post I mentioned that you are painting me out to be a selfish person.
Well now that I have seen the above post you made later it confirms that.
Please do not PM me again.
It is people like you that cause my depression to get worse and for me to want to kill myself.
People like you that make me feel all guilty and dirty for being who I am.
How dare you.
don't let what she says bother you. it's meaningless. she once posted on here how she felt sorry for my wife and daughters because they had me for a wife and father. she goes over the line repeatedly with her insults. just don't let it get to you.
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
This thread began about the evils that lurk behind totalitarian religions. Then, it could be said is was more specific; totalitarian catholicism. Then even, it could be said is was about how religion skews personal bonds. But now, it's turned ugly, there is a pitting against one, and if that's how it goes in the world of
trolls—I say this thread needs to die.
It is my humble opinion that: anyone who makes it thru childhood experiencing only religion delivering unto them rapture—not perversions, physical or mental, are damn lucky. My compassion goes to all who don't.
And as for Pandora, her intention was obvious: when you can, choose paths lightened by positives rather than darkened by negatives—(a dogma that's been around much longer than catholicism). I'd say her offering most likely came from how she herself found her center and was merely, from a compassionate stance, attempting to offer the same.
Yuk, I'm going to another thread. This one doesn't work for me.