So......I have this problem...

Loulou

dimitrispearljam wrote:

or maybe suggest het to join our community and become an ANALog member... :P

I think she'd fit right in.

kellanazzie

Best thread ever!!

She is supposed to gain converts weekly I believe, you are now a mark. :fp: However, they are forbidden to have wind chimes so hang one high at the door. Can't have tattoos so draw stickman on your wrist, oh, or face, yeah better! Yes, & then tell her she has to buy girl scout cookies from you if she wants to give you another book, thas right, no cookies must be bought.
So, dress as the devil, pants down
bath ready
blunt in mouth
talk like Burns while holding Hustler mag & a vibrator
spliffing a blunt
Do the Evolution blasting in the back
wind chimes tinkling, tattoo glistening
& girl scout cookies on a plate (make it nice )
Hmm, I believe its safe to say no one, EVER, will come to your door again.

Loulou

kellanazzie wrote:

Best thread ever!!

She is supposed to gain converts weekly I believe, you are now a mark. :fp: However, they are forbidden to have wind chimes so hang one high at the door. Can't have tattoos so draw stickman on your wrist, oh, or face, yeah better! Yes, & then tell her she has to buy girl scout cookies from you if she wants to give you another book, thas right, no cookies must be bought.
So, dress as the devil, pants down
bath ready
blunt in mouth
talk like Burns while holding Hustler mag & a vibrator
spliffing a blunt
Do the Evolution blasting in the back
wind chimes tinkling, tattoo glistening
& girl scout cookies on a plate (make it nice )
Hmm, I believe its safe to say no one, EVER, will come to your door again.

LOL!
Hey! I DO have the stickman tattooed on my ankle!! Wooooooooooo! Wind chimes, no problem!

mfc2006

Black Diamond wrote:

Put one of these on your door


And one of these around your neck



And make your house smell like a combination of


And



Throw in a couple of oy veys

Problem solved.

If this does not work... I can lend you my bubbe...




She can talk until the cows come home

i'm crying b/c i'm laughing so hard. brilliant, Adam!!!

mickeyrat

dimitrispearljam wrote:

is she came today? :fp:

LouLou hasnt given her the vibrator yet, so I'm going to say no she hasn't.

Loulou

mickeyrat wrote:

dimitrispearljam wrote:

is she came today? :fp:

LouLou hasnt given her the vibrator yet, so I'm going to say no she hasn't.

:fp: that is just ALL kinds of wrong!!!

dimitrispearljam

mickeyrat wrote:

dimitrispearljam wrote:

is she came today? :fp:

LouLou hasnt given her the vibrator yet, so I'm going to say no she hasn't.

must give the sleepers first.. :fp: :corn:

dankind

Black Diamond wrote:

Put one of these on your door


And one of these around your neck



And make your house smell like a combination of


And



Throw in a couple of oy veys

Problem solved.

If this does not work... I can lend you my bubbe...




She can talk until the cows come home

Nice!

So how do I get the lulav-wielding, etrog-bearing freaks to stop asking me if I'm Jewish on the street?

Oh, and Lorna, you could try the Costanza Gambit: "Well I, uh, I'm not sure how you pronounce it or anything, but I, uh, I believe it's ménage à trois?"

Of course, that sort of backfired on Georgie Boy.

iamica

I just remembered a quote from The Simpsons where Marge was so lonely and bored that she invited some JW's into her house and wouldn't let them leave. "They snuck out when I was in the kitchen getting lemonade."

dimitrispearljam

tell her the greek rooster is coming for renew her membereship

LiLiNY81

Loulou wrote:

Well, it all started a few months ago. This little old lady comes to my door and greets me with a big smile. Now when I say old, I mean 80 plus (no offence to our 80 plus members) and she starts asking me about my life. It finally gets the better of me and I ask her who she is and she passes me The Watchtower book.

Now I think, 'Aaah crap!' I mean I was raised by two atheists, I'm probably the most unreligious person in Adelaide. but I have the problem of this woman being old and really lovely so I don't want to be rude. Stupid move I know, I take the book and say goodbye.

Now a month later she comes back with another one, I don't have the time to chat so I take the book and say goodbye, politely explaining I have to go (another dumb move) :roll:
She comes round again and I think myself, I have to explain my stance on religion so I politely tell her, look I'm not religious, never will be and i will never go to church. She kindly excepts this and hands me the book anyway and says goodbye.

Well, she comes around today doesn't she? Now I had no time to explain, chat or anything. So I lied and told her that I was on the phone. She slides the book under door. :fp:
HELP ME! how do I politely tell her to LEAVE ME ALONE!! Anyone else had this happen? I mean I hand it to them, it was shear genius on their part to send out the oldest, sweetest lady they have at that church.

( just so we are clear, I don't want a religious debate, I have no judgement about anyone's religion. I feel everyone is free to believe whatever they wish.)

Awww just keep taking the books, give the woman some satisfaction, even if it's false LOL. Or politely tell her that you don't want to waste her time anymore and if she could be so kind as to not bring anymore books.

I had two Johovah's come to my door once when I was living in Florida. These two young men were HOT...I mean like OMG HOT. So of course I let them preach to me. For the longest time, they'd always come by to say hello and see how I was....of course trying to push their religion on me more and more. My undying disgust of organized religion seemed to disappear when they came around. Then they came one day when my dad was home and he was like "We're catholic."

Loulou

LiLiNY81 wrote:

Loulou wrote:

Well, it all started a few months ago. This little old lady comes to my door and greets me with a big smile. Now when I say old, I mean 80 plus (no offence to our 80 plus members) and she starts asking me about my life. It finally gets the better of me and I ask her who she is and she passes me The Watchtower book.

Now I think, 'Aaah crap!' I mean I was raised by two atheists, I'm probably the most unreligious person in Adelaide. but I have the problem of this woman being old and really lovely so I don't want to be rude. Stupid move I know, I take the book and say goodbye.

Now a month later she comes back with another one, I don't have the time to chat so I take the book and say goodbye, politely explaining I have to go (another dumb move) :roll:
She comes round again and I think myself, I have to explain my stance on religion so I politely tell her, look I'm not religious, never will be and i will never go to church. She kindly excepts this and hands me the book anyway and says goodbye.

Well, she comes around today doesn't she? Now I had no time to explain, chat or anything. So I lied and told her that I was on the phone. She slides the book under door. :fp:
HELP ME! how do I politely tell her to LEAVE ME ALONE!! Anyone else had this happen? I mean I hand it to them, it was shear genius on their part to send out the oldest, sweetest lady they have at that church.

( just so we are clear, I don't want a religious debate, I have no judgement about anyone's religion. I feel everyone is free to believe whatever they wish.)

Awww just keep taking the books, give the woman some satisfaction, even if it's false LOL. Or politely tell her that you don't want to waste her time anymore and if she could be so kind as to not bring anymore books.

I had two Johovah's come to my door once when I was living in Florida. These two young men were HOT...I mean like OMG HOT. So of course I let them preach to me. For the longest time, they'd always come by to say hello and see how I was....of course trying to push their religion on me more and more. My undying disgust of organized religion seemed to disappear when they came around. Then they came one day when my dad was home and he was like "We're catholic."

Thats so funny!

peacefrompaul

Oh this thread again.

How is the problem going?

catefrances

Loulou wrote:

DS1119 wrote:

You say she's around 80 or so? I guess you could sneak up behind her and scare the shit out of her and hope she croaks and then dismember and bury the body in your back yard. Problem solved.

Well I DO live in the murder capital of the world........

if not the world, then at least australia. :P

javis el errante

Why politely? You've been polite for a while, can't she take a hint?

catefrances

javis el errante wrote:

Why politely? You've been polite for a while, can't she take a hint?

no.. cause clearly to her loulou needs saving. poor old lady just hasnt quite figured out what a lost cause it is.

Loulou

catefrances wrote:

javis el errante wrote:

Why politely? You've been polite for a while, can't she take a hint?

no.. cause clearly to her loulou needs saving. poor old lady just hasnt quite figured out what a lost cause it is.

LOL!!!! I love it!

voidofman

A Witness just left, today is an Ice Cube listening day so he's lucky he came by when this song was playing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzRqEWJYwX4

Also, he saw my cat and asked what her name was. I said Akasha, which is a Sanskrit word meaning Air / Ether. I told him I picked it because of the Akashic Records which is where all of recorded history is written in Hindu tradition. He asked if I was a Hindu, I said no but I relate to some of their stuff. He wanted to remember that name and wanted me to spell it out for him. I wrote it down for him. With any luck, I can convert him.

PJ_Soul

I always just tell them right away that I'm a "very devout atheist," and if they keep going after that I say, "if someone tried to convert you, would you leave your faith?" Of course they say no. And I tell them that I feel the exact same way about my beliefs. But honestly, most of them give up after I tell them I'm an atheist. I guess they think I'm already a lost cause, lol.
Anyway, if that doesn't work either, I say you start acting like you are trying to convert her to an atheist or a wiccan or something. Go get the satanic bible from the library and pull it for her when she comes by. You know, have a little fun with it!

Loulou

voidofman wrote:

A Witness just left, today is an Ice Cube listening day so he's lucky he came by when this song was playing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzRqEWJYwX4

Also, he saw my cat and asked what her name was. I said Akasha, which is a Sanskrit word meaning Air / Ether. I told him I picked it because of the Akashic Records which is where all of recorded history is written in Hindu tradition. He asked if I was a Hindu, I said no but I relate to some of their stuff. He wanted to remember that name and wanted me to spell it out for him. I wrote it down for him. With any luck, I can convert him.

good luck with the conversion!