So......I have this problem...

Loulou

Well, it all started a few months ago. This little old lady comes to my door and greets me with a big smile. Now when I say old, I mean 80 plus (no offence to our 80 plus members) and she starts asking me about my life. It finally gets the better of me and I ask her who she is and she passes me The Watchtower book.

Now I think, 'Aaah crap!' I mean I was raised by two atheists, I'm probably the most unreligious person in Adelaide. but I have the problem of this woman being old and really lovely so I don't want to be rude. Stupid move I know, I take the book and say goodbye.

Now a month later she comes back with another one, I don't have the time to chat so I take the book and say goodbye, politely explaining I have to go (another dumb move) :roll:
She comes round again and I think myself, I have to explain my stance on religion so I politely tell her, look I'm not religious, never will be and i will never go to church. She kindly excepts this and hands me the book anyway and says goodbye.

Well, she comes around today doesn't she? Now I had no time to explain, chat or anything. So I lied and told her that I was on the phone. She slides the book under door. :fp:
HELP ME! how do I politely tell her to LEAVE ME ALONE!! Anyone else had this happen? I mean I hand it to them, it was shear genius on their part to send out the oldest, sweetest lady they have at that church.

( just so we are clear, I don't want a religious debate, I have no judgement about anyone's religion. I feel everyone is free to believe whatever they wish.)

neilybabes86

PLEASE SWEETIE...I HAVE NO INTEREST...SO PLEASE STOP COMING BY

Loulou

neilybabes86 wrote:

PLEASE SWEETIE...I HAVE NO INTEREST...SO PLEASE STOP COMING BY

Yeah, I know. :( I have to grow a pair and tell her straight out don't I?

neilybabes86

Loulou wrote:

neilybabes86 wrote:

PLEASE SWEETIE...I HAVE NO INTEREST...SO PLEASE STOP COMING BY

Yeah, I know. :( I have to grow a pair and tell her straight out don't I?

i would say so...otherwise she will keep coming

u can also say i have a friend who is interested and send her to someones home

JaneNY

My husband is Muslim, and he always tries to 'counter-convert' whoever shows up (he is also a college teacher and loves to talk so he'll talk to anyone about anything pretty much). Usually people don't come back because he's good at arguing. Maybe you could try this approach.

thefixer9

Next time she comes around start blasting Do the Evolution on your radio....then she'll get the message...

mookeywrench

Slap a 'lord, please protect me from thy followers' sign on your door, and when she comes knocking you can say, "look. The praying doesn't work."

mickeyrat

next time she shows up yell back into the house, "Honey, she's back, bring me the goats blood!!!"

CAVSTARR313

Invite her in to take a bath with you..

I have used this tactic on Jehovah's witnesses..

They will either take the bath or quit coming around... either way, you will smile..

Loulou

I love these suggestions but don't think I'm ballsy enough for the bath one or the goats blood.

Loulou

thefixer9 wrote:

Next time she comes around start blasting Do the Evolution on your radio....then she'll get the message...

she may want to save me even more!!

thefixer9

Loulou wrote:

thefixer9 wrote:

Next time she comes around start blasting Do the Evolution on your radio....then she'll get the message...

she may want to save me even more!!

mickeyrat

lets see, watchtower is Jehovahs Witness, right? Ask her where you can send the Xmas card and present.

CAVSTARR313

answer the door bottom-less next time..

Top-less is a shocker, but bottom-less is a deal breaker..

She will never come back, just on principal..

DS1119

Are tasers legal to own in Australia?

Better Dan

I made a similar mistake with 2 mormon missionaries once while I was in college and living at home. They were attractive young women and nice so I listened to what htey had to say. On their second visit they asked if they could come in and chat for a little bit..I didn't want to be rude so I said sure...Once they got inside the house they immediately fell on their knees..I got excited for a bit , but they said they wanted to pray and asked me to join them. At this point I regretted letting them in.. :fp: They kept insisting that I say the prayer and I kept saying no, so they eventually did. Then they started singing a crazy song about John Smith, who founded the church. My mom came home while they were singing and started laughing at my dumb ass. After that, I just stopped answering the door and they stopped showing up.

CAVSTARR313

DS1119 wrote:

Are tasers legal to own in Australia?

probably not.. the sawed all that shit in half..

Who's laughing now australia!?!

Oh wait, I thought this was a Kenny Olav thread.. sorry..

mickeyrat

Get a recording of The Simpsons Mr Burns saying "release the hounds" and play it full blast when she comes round again.

CAVSTARR313

Tell her you are "in" to old chicks.. then, ask what her sign is..

Loulou

you guys are crazy!
I have the funniest image in my head now of zapping her when she comes around next time. I probably laugh my arse off when she comes next time.

DS1119

You say she's around 80 or so? I guess you could sneak up behind her and scare the shit out of her and hope she croaks and then dismember and bury the body in your back yard. Problem solved.

Loulou

Caveeze wrote:

Tell her you are "in" to old chicks.. then, ask what her sign is..

:fp: ewwwwwwwww!!

Loulou

DS1119 wrote:

You say she's around 80 or so? I guess you could sneak up behind her and scare the shit out of her and hope she croaks and then dismember and bury the body in your back yard. Problem solved.

Well I DO live in the murder capital of the world........

norm

she gives you watchtower

you give her hustler

mickeyrat

ask her if she'd like to come in for a bowl of "dirty frank stew"

Loulou

norm wrote:

she gives you watchtower

you give her hustler

Hey that's not actually a bad idea! Well maybe not hustler but I could give her one the 10C newsletters and tell her, I read yours if you read mine. I could convert her!!!

norm

Loulou wrote:

norm wrote:

she gives you watchtower

you give her hustler

Hey that's not actually a bad idea! Well maybe not hustler but I could give her one the 10C newsletters and tell her, I read yours if you read mine. I could convert her!!!

yeah but if you convert her she'll never leave :fp:

CAVSTARR313

Better yet, have your hubby open the door bottom-less!!

She will certainly be overcome by fear of largeness and drop dead on the spot..

(call him over to the computer.. now)

Loulou

norm wrote:

Loulou wrote:

norm wrote:

she gives you watchtower

you give her hustler

Hey that's not actually a bad idea! Well maybe not hustler but I could give her one the 10C newsletters and tell her, I read yours if you read mine. I could convert her!!!

yeah but if you convert her she'll never leave :fp:

I guess so but could you blame her?

hedonist

This has gone off on a funny tangent, but if you're serious in your initial post...

Sounds like she's been nice (and seemingly sincere) to you throughout this...maybe you could do the same with her?

Just be honest and forthright.

Those who shouldn't take offense to that, won't.

DS1119

norm wrote:

yeah but if you convert her she'll never leave :fp:

and relentless with the F5 button stuff if it ever returned.