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I am depressed as f***.

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  • SxDx1982SxDx1982 Posts: 124
    Thanks everyone. Thank you so much. I didn't expect 5 pages of messages. You guys rock.

    I've decided to go to the doctor's tomorrow. I don't care how much it costs. I'll borrow money from friends if I have to. I can't wait two or three months for a doctor's appointment, I'm scared that I might hurt myself if I don't get help soon.
    I'm still out here waiting
    Watching reruns of my life
  • conmanconman Posts: 7,493
    SxDx1982 wrote:
    Thanks everyone. Thank you so much. I didn't expect 5 pages of messages. You guys rock.

    I've decided to go to the doctor's tomorrow. I don't care how much it costs. I'll borrow money from friends if I have to. I can't wait two or three months for a doctor's appointment, I'm scared that I might hurt myself if I don't get help soon.
    :thumbup: good to hear, hang in there my friend
  • DS1119DS1119 Posts: 33,497
    SxDx1982 wrote:
    Thanks everyone. Thank you so much. I didn't expect 5 pages of messages. You guys rock.

    I've decided to go to the doctor's tomorrow. I don't care how much it costs. I'll borrow money from friends if I have to. I can't wait two or three months for a doctor's appointment, I'm scared that I might hurt myself if I don't get help soon.


    :thumbup: :clap:
  • DURPDURP Posts: 2,180
    SxDx1982 wrote:
    Thanks everyone. Thank you so much. I didn't expect 5 pages of messages. You guys rock.

    I've decided to go to the doctor's tomorrow. I don't care how much it costs. I'll borrow money from friends if I have to. I can't wait two or three months for a doctor's appointment, I'm scared that I might hurt myself if I don't get help soon.

    Nice :D
    My butt itches!
  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Posts: 49,891
    SxDx1982 wrote:
    Thanks everyone. Thank you so much. I didn't expect 5 pages of messages. You guys rock.

    I've decided to go to the doctor's tomorrow. I don't care how much it costs. I'll borrow money from friends if I have to. I can't wait two or three months for a doctor's appointment, I'm scared that I might hurt myself if I don't get help soon.
    Excellent, good for you. Please please don't hurt yourself. If you ever feel like it turn to someone close to you, or, if you can't do that, come here. Good luck (don't forget to write a list of what you want to say to the doc - it can really help to have a good visit where the doc knows everything he needs to; it's easy to forget important stuff in the examination room). <3
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • samjamsamjam Posts: 9,283
    Staying strong is so hard in times where you feel like this, but it's imperative that you do. I really do know how you feel, and it's one of the worst feelings in the world. Find the things that do make you happy (for me, music was incredibly, incredibly important in helping) and keep that in mind. Good on ya for getting help, that's a big step. I truly wish you the best!
    "Sometimes you find yourself having to put all your faith in no faith."
    ~not a dude~
    2010: MSGx2
    2012: Made In America
    2013: Pittsburgh, Brooklynx2, Hartford, Baltimore
    2014: Leeds, Milton Keynes, Detroit
    2015: Global Citizen Festival
    2016: Phillyx2, MSGx2, Fenwayx2
    2018: Barcelona, Wrigleyx2
  • dimitrispearljamdimitrispearljam Posts: 139,549
    SxDx1982 wrote:
    Thanks everyone. Thank you so much. I didn't expect 5 pages of messages. You guys rock.

    I've decided to go to the doctor's tomorrow. I don't care how much it costs. I'll borrow money from friends if I have to. I can't wait two or three months for a doctor's appointment, I'm scared that I might hurt myself if I don't get help soon.
    you will be fine....great news you see a doctor..
    thanks for have the guts to share..sometimes is the hardest thing....
    wish i can meet you some day and shake your hand...
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • LoulouLoulou Posts: 6,247
    SxDx1982 wrote:
    Thanks everyone. Thank you so much. I didn't expect 5 pages of messages. You guys rock.

    I've decided to go to the doctor's tomorrow. I don't care how much it costs. I'll borrow money from friends if I have to. I can't wait two or three months for a doctor's appointment, I'm scared that I might hurt myself if I don't get help soon.
    The very best of luck with everything mate, good for you. ;)
    “ "Thank you Palestrina. It’s a wonderful evening, it’s great to be here and I wanna dedicate you a super sexy song." " (last words of Mark Sandman of Morphine)


    Adelaide 1998
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    Adelaide 2006 night 1
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    Adelaide 2009
    Melbourne 2009
    Christchurch NZ 2009
    Eddie Vedder, Adelaide 2011
    PJ20 USA 2011 night 1
    PJ20 USA 2011 night 2
    Adelaide BIG DAY OUT 2014
  • STAYSEASTAYSEA Posts: 3,814
    SxDx1982 wrote:
    I hate to complain because things could be so much worse. It's just that depression's kicking my ass lately. I'm scared because I feel like I'm going over the edge. I know I'm a fuck-up, I can't keep a job, and regardless of the fact that I'm pretty smart, I can't focus on studying anything either. I've also resorted to cutting myself and abusing prescription drugs again. I used to do that a lot when I was younger. I wish there was a drug that would make this all go away. I've tried several anti-depressants and they only made me feel worse.

    I am so fucked it is beyond comprehension. I know I should be doing something with my life, but I can't. And when I try to do something creative, my mind goes blank. I feel so old and I'm "only" 29. Is there really no hope for me? Am I destined to feel like this for the rest of my life? I feel like I'm drowning.

    I know this has something to do with the fact that I was bullied for 9 years, and that I've always been "different". I can't relate to normal people. I can't work 9 to 5. I don't want to have kids. I don't want a house and a white picket fence. Or maybe I do, but I would probably paint graffiti on that damn thing. :roll:

    Anyway, I'm not looking for sympathy, I just needed to get this out of my system. My friends have their own lives and own problems and I don't want them to worry about me any more than they already do. :|

    People are here to help u! Call the local crisis center. Think about you worry for 24 hrs! then call family and friends. If this doesn't help. Go to a clinic. We have all (most) been there. I've died 5 times, don't give up!!!!

    Please. People love you. Just tell some one you are sad, they don't care? Go to the next person. PM me if you need emergancy help? (my spelling is fukd) There is always a PEARL JAM concert to see. That helps me?
    image
  • STAYSEASTAYSEA Posts: 3,814
    People are here to help u! Call the local crisis center. Think about you worry for 24 hrs! then call family and friends. If this doesn't help. Go to a clinic. We have all (most) been there. I've died 5 times, don't give up!!!!

    Please. People love you. Just tell some one you are sad, they don't care? Go to the next person. PM me if you need emergancy help? (my spelling is fukd) There is always a PEARL JAM concert to see. That helps me


    I have been through decades of therapy,
    This method works!!!!!

    Think for 24 hours! if you can't make it funny. talk to me! I've heard it all!
    "Don't it make you smile?.. Don't it make you smile?, I miss you already..
    the sun it won't shine for days."

    I would have been dead! Pearl Jam brings me back , and Flight of the Conchords :lol:

    Do Not GIVE UP !!! When you survive? It pisses people off? 24 hours please!
    image
  • Pamela0222Pamela0222 Posts: 1,544
    SxDx1982 wrote:
    Thanks everyone. Thank you so much. I didn't expect 5 pages of messages. You guys rock.

    I've decided to go to the doctor's tomorrow. I don't care how much it costs. I'll borrow money from friends if I have to. I can't wait two or three months for a doctor's appointment, I'm scared that I might hurt myself if I don't get help soon.

    THIS made me smile!! Be REALLY and I mean REALLY proud of yourself!!! :clap:
    The thing I like most about time is that it's not real. It's all in the head. Sure, it's a useful trick to use if you want to meet someone at a specific place in the universe and have tea or coffee- but that's all it is- a trick. There is no such thing as the past. It exists only in the memory. There is no such thing as the future. It exists only in our imagination. If our watches were truly accurate, the only thing they would ever say is "Now". That's what time it is. It's "Now". - Damien Echols
  • STAYSEASTAYSEA Posts: 3,814
    We all take the Pills
    Go to the doctor
    Do not be ashamed.
    They worked all their life
    to help you!

    My therapist.
    Says" the only thing normal is a setting, on a washing machine"

    My sister has a dryer with a normal setting.
    I must tell?

    Nothing is normal?
    Be Yourself!!!
    Doesn't matter if it is good enough? for someone else?
    image
  • STAYSEASTAYSEA Posts: 3,814
    ANYONE PM me!
    I HAVE been through everything.
    I've heard it all.
    I can really help!

    If you r too sad? PM me I can maybe help

    I spent thousands on therapy. I have hints.
    My brother had skin cancer, so he is only awake at night. I always answer.
    I have nutin else. But to help
    Do not go where I have been! It suks.

    Call me
    PM WHENEVER!!!!
    I'm crisis control.
    unless you are already drugged , go to hospital!
    image
  • STAYSEASTAYSEA Posts: 3,814
    If you end your self?
    Your family never gets over it!
    And they have to pay $$$$$$

    It's so selfish

    Please think about your problem for at least 24 hours.
    If your mind is the same.. Seek us.

    My friend's brother killed himself last month,
    They are ...... , just guess.
    I even gave some money. his ashes were in Arizona ? They live in west palm! My Friend will never get over the lose of his brother. The whole family cries! He (my friend) asked me for help? He put his bro in rehab 6 times this year. I said to him, You can't save him, if he doesn't want help"
    You can not save a Fish from Drowning!

    I won't eat my advice. It's the truth. Only those that want help will seek it.

    But his Brother is DEAD. HELP IS OUT THERE!!!!!!
    image
  • ByrnzieByrnzie Posts: 21,037
    SxDx1982 wrote:
    Thanks everyone. Thank you so much. I didn't expect 5 pages of messages. You guys rock.

    I've decided to go to the doctor's tomorrow. I don't care how much it costs. I'll borrow money from friends if I have to. I can't wait two or three months for a doctor's appointment, I'm scared that I might hurt myself if I don't get help soon.

    I have a friend who used to cut her arms to shreds all the time. She now works as a counselor and gives advice to people about this kind of thing, and advice about addiction e.t.c.
    She's a cool girl. If you want I'll put you in touch with her and you can have a chat?
  • STAYSEASTAYSEA Posts: 3,814
    Bump!
    image
  • ByrnzieByrnzie Posts: 21,037
    STAYSEA wrote:
    Bump!

    Ouch!
  • Who PrincessWho Princess Posts: 7,305
    SxDx1982 wrote:
    Thanks everyone. Thank you so much. I didn't expect 5 pages of messages. You guys rock.

    I've decided to go to the doctor's tomorrow. I don't care how much it costs. I'll borrow money from friends if I have to. I can't wait two or three months for a doctor's appointment, I'm scared that I might hurt myself if I don't get help soon.
    I'm so glad to read this. Please take care of yourself.
    "The stars are all connected to the brain."
  • STAYSEASTAYSEA Posts: 3,814
    Bump!
    No one should suffer!
    image
  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Posts: 49,891
    Everyone here is awesome. :)
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • SD48277SD48277 Posts: 12,243
    SxDx1982 wrote:
    Thanks everyone. Thank you so much. I didn't expect 5 pages of messages. You guys rock.

    I've decided to go to the doctor's tomorrow. I don't care how much it costs. I'll borrow money from friends if I have to. I can't wait two or three months for a doctor's appointment, I'm scared that I might hurt myself if I don't get help soon.

    :thumbup: :D
    ELITIST FUK
  • STAYSEASTAYSEA Posts: 3,814
    STAYSEA wrote:
    ANYONE PM me!
    I HAVE been through everything.
    I've heard it all.
    I can really help!

    If you r too sad? PM me I can maybe help

    I spent thousands on therapy. I have hints.
    My brother had skin cancer, so he is only awake at night. I always answer.
    I have nutin else. But to help
    Do not go where I have been! It suks.

    Call me
    PM WHENEVER!!!!
    I'm crisis control.
    unless you are already drugged , go to hospital!

    I can't always help. but I will always try. :)
    image
  • chadwickchadwick Posts: 21,157
    Byrnzie wrote:
    I saw them play in London in about 2002. They're funny fuckers - used to have their own themed-restaurant in Helsinki too.
    you are a world traveler bigtime, dude. this is something we all should aspire to do.
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • ClaireackClaireack Posts: 13,561
    Just thought I'd pop in and wish you well. Hang on in there.
    <a href="http://s952.photobucket.com/albums/ae8/catkinson_2009/?action=view&current=domo.jpg&quot; target="_blank"><img src="http://i952.photobucket.com/albums/ae8/catkinson_2009/domo.jpg&quot; border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>
  • javis el errantejavis el errante Posts: 6,136
    bump
    ... I am not in the business of being liked anymore ...

  • SxDx1982SxDx1982 Posts: 124
    Hi everyone. I thought I'd drop by and let you know that I'm still alive. The doc prescribed me anti-depressants, I've been taking them for a few days now. No effect so far.. except that I'm too tired to even type. He did say that they take a while before they start to work.
    I'm still out here waiting
    Watching reruns of my life
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 37,891
    SxDx1982 wrote:
    Hi everyone. I thought I'd drop by and let you know that I'm still alive. The doc prescribed me anti-depressants, I've been taking them for a few days now. No effect so far.. except that I'm too tired to even type. He did say that they take a while before they start to work.
    depending on type of med, I think about 2 weeks to get built up in your system before you'll feel the best effect.

    In the meantime, you're awesome for taking this positive step to take care of yourself. Some kind of action toward a better place is always a good thing.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
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  • jopetto75jopetto75 Posts: 397
    Depression sucks I battle with it everyday I am just now reading this thread, great job people thats what it's about. Help and to care about others it can be such a a positive thing better than any drug when u know you got someone out there who cares. It seems I can breath again I hate being single if I don't find a girl soon I am going to go insane. It's like I am not a big enough ass Iv'e come to learn that most if not all woman enjoy or like to be treated like shit. I don't get it so thats my issue or battle right now. I am loosing my house just lost my job and I don't know where to go except to see Vedder, thats all I know. Cause of music I can breath, so as the days wear on and I go with no one I know I must go in with my head held high as hard as it is sometimes.
    Music is my best friend it lets me know I am ok.
    Thanks to the people who care you have no idea what it means and can do for a person!
    until next time......
  • SawyerSawyer Posts: 2,411
    you're existing...youre here....and some times that's good enough...keep up the fight
  • Hugh Freaking DillonHugh Freaking Dillon Posts: 14,010
    I have been taking anti depressants for a LONG time. I will NEVER go off them. But they do take a while to work, once you find the right ones for you, and even then, sometimes you can still have down times. Believe me, it too shall pass.

    It always does. Trust me.

    I just got through a 2 week of tough times even on meds. So stay strong. :)
    Gimli 1993
    Fargo 2003
    Winnipeg 2005
    Winnipeg 2011
    St. Paul 2014
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