Thank you all for the advice and feedback, much appreciated.
As for the coffee on a Sat night not being a good idea mentioned earlier, she suggested we do something Sat night, I always thought and read that coffee or drinks at a bar are most suitable for a first date.
Maybe I should've suggested Sunday lunchtime, oh wells.
Where we are meeting up is not a walking distance to her house.
I hope she doesn't want to go city, too much traffic.
It is all cafe's and restaurants where we are going, not sure if there is a place more exciting there, see what happens.
I always had in my mind something "more exciting" for a second date.
I am going by the rules on youtube and online dating advice sites.
You are acting EXACTLY like I was with my girl seven months ago..
Now our dates consist of us farting on each other and laughing about it..
Good luck!
Thanks dude.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
Be yourself...only reference your nervousness once (once is cute, more than that is awkward and insecure)...Don't force your humor, let it come naturally....be attentive.....think of some good stories or how you might remember her from high school......make some witty comments/observations about your immediate environment....try to be in the moment the best you can, your nervousness is taking you out of the moment.
I wish you well!
Thank you.
You reckon I should tell her this is my first date?
Just so that she understands the nervousness?
Also I am thinking of telling her why I said "we'll see" about doing something else after coffee, just so she doesn't think I am cocky or not keen.
I would suggest to just say you don't date very often. At some point in the first half of the date, I don't think you need to reference the "we'll see" comment directly, just suggest a couple things that you could do afterward. Go with the de-caf, too, you'll probably be jumpy enough as it is.
So saying this is my first time is a bad idea?
If I say don't date very often it is coming across as lying that I have dated before.
That's just how I see it.
It is a tricky one.
Thanks.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
So saying this is my first time is a bad idea?
If I say don't date very often it is coming across as lying that I have dated before.
That's just how I see it.
It is a tricky one.
Thanks.
if i've said it once, i've said it a million times...no. don't make these sort of statements on a first date, or even a second date.
just enjoy the date and what it is. enjoy her company...and talk about normal stuff...food, travel, hobbies, etc. keep it light, friendly and fun.
toss out a few compliment when you meet up (that's a nice dress/outfit, or just a wow you look great) avoid commenting on her ass or rack.
Be interested in what she has to say, don't go over the top on the compliments it might come accross as cheesy. Don't try and cop a feel if she does decide to kiss you.
Really nervous, this is my first date ever, I am not good at these things and am very shy and anxious.
She had a crush on me in High School (I was too shy to respond) and found me on facebook and was very happy to have reconnected after almost 10 yrs, and she was keen to chat online.
We agreed on meeting up for a coffee on Tuesday night over facebook (she kept insisting on catching up) and then gave me her number without me asking. So I am taking it she likes me.
I just spoke to her to confirm the time and ensure she knows where this cafe is.
She asked me "are we just doing coffee or something else afterwards".
I responded with "we'll see how it goes, maybe". Didn't expect that question.
Now this has me thinking. Is she really really keen on me and wants to spend more time, or is my date plan boring???
I read online tips for dating and a short meet up over coffee is the best bet for a first date and make a second date longer and something different and activity based.
Advice please, help a brother out. :?
Thanks in advance.
just a piece of advice. you must have great qualities or this person would not wanted to see you again after 10 years. don't try so hard. while this might be your first date, its not like its a blind date. you know her and she knows. just talk about what you have done with your life and ask her what she has done.
Just remember she search you out on facebook. I never liked anyone from high school that much to look for them again. she must already like you and nothing you do on this date baring some criminal or just creepy behavior will not make her not like you. therefore just relax, you already know one thing: your unforgettable to her already.
Thanks all.
If things go well tonight, do I ask her out for a second date or wait a few days then call and ask?
I've read varying advice online, some say at the end of the first date, some say 2-3 days, some say a week.
I am confused.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
I think if it's going really well, and you're enjoying each other's company, it's fine to say, "I really enjoyed this, would you like to get together again?"
Just try to relax and enjoy yourself. I agree with 81 (oh my God did I just write that?!?) that the first date isn't the time to share your most personal issues or insecurities. If you really feel like you have to acknowledge things, you can always say, "I don't do a ton of dating." Just leave it at that.
Here are my Top Ten Dating Tips just for you:
1. Do not order the most expensive thing on the menu
2. This is not the time to experiment with tequila if you've never had it before
3. Floss
4. Ask her if she likes dogs. If she says anything other than she LOVES dogs, dump her
5. If she's a psychopath, it's perfectly okay to say you're going to the lobby for popcorn/the bathroom for a moment/put money in the parking meter... and beat feet out of there, never to return*
6. Don't eat garlic during the date, or for 24 hours before
7. Peruse the Darwin newspaper so you can dazzle her with amazing anecdotes
8. If you must expel intestinal gas, excuse yourself and go to the men's room
9. Do not tell her your Super Secret PJ Board Identity... yet
10. No spray tanning beforehand
*I actually did that once. I wonder how long he waited for that popcorn... :? In my defense, you pull out a flask of bourbon in a movie theater, and you're asking for rejection
Thanks all.
If things go well tonight, do I ask her out for a second date or wait a few days then call and ask?
I've read varying advice online, some say at the end of the first date, some say 2-3 days, some say a week.
I am confused.
Oh, god. Don't think of this yet!
Think of this after the date. If it went well, send her a good night text reminding her you had a good time and hope to talk again soon.
Look for signs she's into you. Usually women know with in 30 seconds if they would have sex with you. From there on, just be yourself and be thoughtful. Compliment her. Ask her questions and be interested in her life..
Signs it's going well are her playing with her hair. A lot of body language from her. If you can tell if she's nervous too, that's a good sign... Also, if she won't shut up. Women talk ALOT when they are interested, even if they are pulling conversations out of their asses.
Most importantly, don't be so desperate! Even if dates are rare, don't put yourself with someone who will make you miserable just because you are lonely.
I have the same problem. I over think things. It's anxiety... I've come to learn my girl is the exact same way. There are people of the opposite sex just like us, just be patient!
Thanks dude, appreciate the advice.
Surprisingly I slept like a baby last night despite not being able to fall asleep till 3am and then waking up 7am every day since organising the date, damn nerves and anxiety lol.
I am a bit nervous now, it comes and goes, if I keep myself occupied I am okay.
Gotta make myself dinner before the date, that should help.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
Thanks dude, appreciate the advice.
Surprisingly I slept like a baby last night despite not being able to fall asleep till 3am and then waking up 7am every day since organising the date, damn nerves and anxiety lol.
I am a bit nervous now, it comes and goes, if I keep myself occupied I am okay.
Gotta make myself dinner before the date, that should help.
Don't play games if you like her. BE YOU. Even if you feel a little anxious.
I think if it's going really well, and you're enjoying each other's company, it's fine to say, "I really enjoyed this, would you like to get together again?"
Just try to relax and enjoy yourself. I agree with 81 (oh my God did I just write that?!?) that the first date isn't the time to share your most personal issues or insecurities. If you really feel like you have to acknowledge things, you can always say, "I don't do a ton of dating." Just leave it at that.
*I actually did that once. I wonder how long he waited for that popcorn... :? In my defense, you pull out a flask of bourbon in a movie theater, and you're asking for rejection
of course you agreed with me....i'm pretty smart.
and what's wrong with a little bourbon at the theater?
have we discussed the post coffee course of action?
have a couple of thoughts in mind....in case things are going well and you aren't ready for the evening to end.
There are 2 bowling places not far away.
Or it is the city, too much traffic and parking is hard to find on a Sat night, hopefully if things go well bowling is cool with her. Or we could play pool somewhere, other than that not sure what else we could do, got only 2 ideas dammit.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
Just got back home.
She parked behind my car in a side street, as we were walking to the cafe I complemented her nice leather jacket.
Almost 3 hrs of chatting, time went by fast, didn't seem like that long.
I think it went okay, sometimes we paused as we both were thinking of what to say lol.
She laughed a lot at my funny stories.
Walked back to our cars, she commented on my car, I on hers.
I said it was good seeing her again and I had a great time and that I'd like to catch up again soon.
She said yes, I told her when she's free, maybe next weekend.
I didn't mention anything about me not dating often or being nervous (surprisingly I was fine).
Now I am considering do I text now or tomorrow to say it was great to catch up etc etc.
EDIT:
I texted her saying thank you for tonight and that I had a great night.
A little joke thrown in about still being thirsty from all that chatting.
And speak soon, have a good night.
She replied about 10 mins later saying thanks for the chat and that it was great seeing me again after so long and have a nice night.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
Just got back home.
She parked behind my car in a side street, as we were walking to the cafe I complemented her nice leather jacket.
Almost 3 hrs of chatting, time went by fast, didn't seem like that long.
I think it went okay, sometimes we paused as we both were thinking of what to say lol.
She laughed a lot at my funny stories.
Walked back to our cars, she commented on my car, I on hers.
I said it was good seeing her again and I had a great time and that I'd like to catch up again soon.
She said yes, I told her when she's free, maybe next weekend.
I didn't mention anything about me not dating often or being nervous (surprisingly I was fine).
Now I am considering do I text now or tomorrow to say it was great to catch up etc etc.
EDIT:
I texted her saying thank you for tonight and that I had a great night.
A little joke thrown in about still being thirsty from all that chatting.
And speak soon, have a good night.
She replied about 10 mins later saying thanks for the chat and that it was great seeing me again after so long and have a nice night.
Sounds like you had a good time....
Take me piece by piece..... Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
text her a picture of your junk. apparently chicks like that.
2005 - London
2009 - Toronto
2010 - Buffalo
2011 - Toronto 1&2
2013 - London, Pittsburgh, Buffalo
2014 - Cincinnati, St. Louis, Detroit
2016 - Ft. Lauderdale, Miami, Ottawa, Toronto 1 2018 - Fenway 1&2 2022 - Hamilton, Toronto 2023 - Chicago 1&2 2024 - Las Vegas 1&2
Just got back home.
She parked behind my car in a side street, as we were walking to the cafe I complemented her nice leather jacket.
Almost 3 hrs of chatting, time went by fast, didn't seem like that long.
I think it went okay, sometimes we paused as we both were thinking of what to say lol.
She laughed a lot at my funny stories.
Walked back to our cars, she commented on my car, I on hers.
I said it was good seeing her again and I had a great time and that I'd like to catch up again soon.
She said yes, I told her when she's free, maybe next weekend.
I didn't mention anything about me not dating often or being nervous (surprisingly I was fine).
Now I am considering do I text now or tomorrow to say it was great to catch up etc etc.
EDIT:
I texted her saying thank you for tonight and that I had a great night.
A little joke thrown in about still being thirsty from all that chatting.
And speak soon, have a good night.
She replied about 10 mins later saying thanks for the chat and that it was great seeing me again after so long and have a nice night.
Sounds like you had a good time....
Yeah it was good but also nerve racking at times.
I will call her in the next day or two to arrange a second date.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
Comments
lol feels that way when they don't come around never.
Thanks dude.
So saying this is my first time is a bad idea?
If I say don't date very often it is coming across as lying that I have dated before.
That's just how I see it.
It is a tricky one.
Thanks.
If I can calm these nerves I will lol.
if i've said it once, i've said it a million times...no. don't make these sort of statements on a first date, or even a second date.
just enjoy the date and what it is. enjoy her company...and talk about normal stuff...food, travel, hobbies, etc. keep it light, friendly and fun.
toss out a few compliment when you meet up (that's a nice dress/outfit, or just a wow you look great) avoid commenting on her ass or rack.
Be interested in what she has to say, don't go over the top on the compliments it might come accross as cheesy. Don't try and cop a feel if she does decide to kiss you.
just a piece of advice. you must have great qualities or this person would not wanted to see you again after 10 years. don't try so hard. while this might be your first date, its not like its a blind date. you know her and she knows. just talk about what you have done with your life and ask her what she has done.
Just remember she search you out on facebook. I never liked anyone from high school that much to look for them again. she must already like you and nothing you do on this date baring some criminal or just creepy behavior will not make her not like you. therefore just relax, you already know one thing: your unforgettable to her already.
If things go well tonight, do I ask her out for a second date or wait a few days then call and ask?
I've read varying advice online, some say at the end of the first date, some say 2-3 days, some say a week.
I am confused.
Just try to relax and enjoy yourself. I agree with 81 (oh my God did I just write that?!?) that the first date isn't the time to share your most personal issues or insecurities. If you really feel like you have to acknowledge things, you can always say, "I don't do a ton of dating." Just leave it at that.
Here are my Top Ten Dating Tips just for you:
1. Do not order the most expensive thing on the menu
2. This is not the time to experiment with tequila if you've never had it before
3. Floss
4. Ask her if she likes dogs. If she says anything other than she LOVES dogs, dump her
5. If she's a psychopath, it's perfectly okay to say you're going to the lobby for popcorn/the bathroom for a moment/put money in the parking meter... and beat feet out of there, never to return*
6. Don't eat garlic during the date, or for 24 hours before
7. Peruse the Darwin newspaper so you can dazzle her with amazing anecdotes
8. If you must expel intestinal gas, excuse yourself and go to the men's room
9. Do not tell her your Super Secret PJ Board Identity... yet
10. No spray tanning beforehand
*I actually did that once. I wonder how long he waited for that popcorn... :? In my defense, you pull out a flask of bourbon in a movie theater, and you're asking for rejection
Think of this after the date. If it went well, send her a good night text reminding her you had a good time and hope to talk again soon.
Look for signs she's into you. Usually women know with in 30 seconds if they would have sex with you. From there on, just be yourself and be thoughtful. Compliment her. Ask her questions and be interested in her life..
Signs it's going well are her playing with her hair. A lot of body language from her. If you can tell if she's nervous too, that's a good sign... Also, if she won't shut up. Women talk ALOT when they are interested, even if they are pulling conversations out of their asses.
Most importantly, don't be so desperate! Even if dates are rare, don't put yourself with someone who will make you miserable just because you are lonely.
I have the same problem. I over think things. It's anxiety... I've come to learn my girl is the exact same way. There are people of the opposite sex just like us, just be patient!
Surprisingly I slept like a baby last night despite not being able to fall asleep till 3am and then waking up 7am every day since organising the date, damn nerves and anxiety lol.
I am a bit nervous now, it comes and goes, if I keep myself occupied I am okay.
Gotta make myself dinner before the date, that should help.
Don't play games if you like her. BE YOU. Even if you feel a little anxious.
have a couple of thoughts in mind....in case things are going well and you aren't ready for the evening to end.
of course you agreed with me....i'm pretty smart.
and what's wrong with a little bourbon at the theater?
There are 2 bowling places not far away.
Or it is the city, too much traffic and parking is hard to find on a Sat night, hopefully if things go well bowling is cool with her. Or we could play pool somewhere, other than that not sure what else we could do, got only 2 ideas dammit.
She parked behind my car in a side street, as we were walking to the cafe I complemented her nice leather jacket.
Almost 3 hrs of chatting, time went by fast, didn't seem like that long.
I think it went okay, sometimes we paused as we both were thinking of what to say lol.
She laughed a lot at my funny stories.
Walked back to our cars, she commented on my car, I on hers.
I said it was good seeing her again and I had a great time and that I'd like to catch up again soon.
She said yes, I told her when she's free, maybe next weekend.
I didn't mention anything about me not dating often or being nervous (surprisingly I was fine).
Now I am considering do I text now or tomorrow to say it was great to catch up etc etc.
EDIT:
I texted her saying thank you for tonight and that I had a great night.
A little joke thrown in about still being thirsty from all that chatting.
And speak soon, have a good night.
She replied about 10 mins later saying thanks for the chat and that it was great seeing me again after so long and have a nice night.
Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Glad it went well, fingers crossed for more dates to come
congradalations....now about those pics.
2009 - Toronto
2010 - Buffalo
2011 - Toronto 1&2
2013 - London, Pittsburgh, Buffalo
2014 - Cincinnati, St. Louis, Detroit
2016 - Ft. Lauderdale, Miami, Ottawa, Toronto 1
2018 - Fenway 1&2
2022 - Hamilton, Toronto
2023 - Chicago 1&2
2024 - Las Vegas 1&2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDKOQJ9e1u0
Classic!
"I need your strength for me to be strong...I need your love to feel loved"
Yeah it was good but also nerve racking at times.
I will call her in the next day or two to arrange a second date.
Bowling
Zoo
Movies
Walk around the city including city gardens
or if you have any other please suggest....
Ask her what she would like to do this time! You may be pleasantly surprised!!
Yeah I want to throw up some options and let her think of what she'd prefer.
Are flowers/chocolates a must to bring on a second date? :?
I mean if we go somewhere that involves activity she'd have to hold it all night/day.