Dear Person that doesn't even live on my street yet still parks your 1972 gas guzzling suburban in front of my house,
The city just put up 10 A-frame NO PARKING TOW AWAY ZONE signs...and guess what!?!?!? You are parked in the NO Parking zone!
I will quite enjoy it when the tow truck shows up to tow your truck away in a few hours. Since you don't live in the neighborhood, and leave your vehicle parked for days on end...you don't know about the 'No Parking' signs. *giggle*
-me
The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.
I know this is hard for you but if you could really try to pull it together enough so that I don't have to fix your continued screw ups on what should be very simple and straight forward tasks it would be greatly appreciated. I do not currently have the time or energy to fix these screw ups so as advanced notice I will no longer go to standard mildly irritated muttering to myself status but straight to angry fucking bear. This will not be pretty and should be avoided at all costs so please pull it together, pull your head out of your ass, get a clue or whatever is necessary.
Sincerely,
ND
Anything you lose from being honest You never really had to begin with.
Sometimes it's not the song that makes you emotional it's the people and things that come to your mind when you hear it.
After 15yrs of service I would like to inform you I will not be entertaining the idea of commuting back and forth across the 401 during rush hour (3hrs daily). I will be taking the severance package and moving back east closer to family. Thank you for the years of employment and support but now the time has come to move on and grow further.
Peace out bitches, N
Hamilton 9-13-05; Toronto 5-9-06, Toronto 8-21-09, Toronto 9-12-11, Hamilton 9-15-11....
After 15yrs of service I would like to inform you I will not be entertaining the idea of commuting back and forth across the 401 during rush hour (3hrs daily). I will be taking the severance package and moving back east closer to family. Thank you for the years of employment and support but now the time has come to move on and grow further.
I am well-aware of your hunger pains. However, you should be aware that simply meowing does not make me get out of bed faster to feed you. It makes me want to get out of bed and toss you from the bedroom. This is something of which you should be aware, as I have already done so in the past. Repeatedly.
As one of the two moneymakers in the household (the other not being a feline in any way) who is responsible for ensuring the purchase and delivery of your meals, I urge you to use greater discretion in your pre-sunrise demands.
I helpfully suggest several options for when you wake early and feel hungry in the future: - Replace your loud, annoying morning meows with pleasant purrs. - Nap less during the day, to allow you to sleep in later in the morning. - Stop allowing your younger brothers to eat your dinner and/or breakfast, allowing you to get your full meal allotments. - Grow opposable thumbs and retrieve your own damn food.
Further abuse of your vocal cords during human slumber hours will not be tolerated, and may result in banishment to the basement during said human slumber hours. You know who lives in the basement. You will not be happy in the basement.
I am well-aware of your hunger pains. However, you should be aware that simply meowing does not make me get out of bed faster to feed you. It makes me want to get out of bed and toss you from the bedroom. This is something of which you should be aware, as I have already done so in the past. Repeatedly.
As one of the two moneymakers in the household (the other not being a feline in any way) who is responsible for ensuring the purchase and delivery of your meals, I urge you to use greater discretion in your pre-sunrise demands.
I helpfully suggest several options for when you wake early and feel hungry in the future: - Replace your loud, annoying morning meows with pleasant purrs. - Nap less during the day, to allow you to sleep in later in the morning. - Stop allowing your younger brothers to eat your dinner and/or breakfast, allowing you to get your full meal allotments. - Grow opposable thumbs and retrieve your own damn food.
Further abuse of your vocal cords during human slumber hours will not be tolerated, and may result in banishment to the basement during said human slumber hours. You know who lives in the basement. You will not be happy in the basement.
After 15yrs of service I would like to inform you I will not be entertaining the idea of commuting back and forth across the 401 during rush hour (3hrs daily). I will be taking the severance package and moving back east closer to family. Thank you for the years of employment and support but now the time has come to move on and grow further.
Peace out bitches, N
Congratulations on your new adventure!
Thanks! thats somewhat the letter i will be submitting on March 31st. Found out yesterday they're shutting down the office... so now is a better time than any to start over.
Hamilton 9-13-05; Toronto 5-9-06, Toronto 8-21-09, Toronto 9-12-11, Hamilton 9-15-11....
I am well-aware of your hunger pains. However, you should be aware that simply meowing does not make me get out of bed faster to feed you. It makes me want to get out of bed and toss you from the bedroom. This is something of which you should be aware, as I have already done so in the past. Repeatedly.
As one of the two moneymakers in the household (the other not being a feline in any way) who is responsible for ensuring the purchase and delivery of your meals, I urge you to use greater discretion in your pre-sunrise demands.
I helpfully suggest several options for when you wake early and feel hungry in the future: - Replace your loud, annoying morning meows with pleasant purrs. - Nap less during the day, to allow you to sleep in later in the morning. - Stop allowing your younger brothers to eat your dinner and/or breakfast, allowing you to get your full meal allotments. - Grow opposable thumbs and retrieve your own damn food.
Further abuse of your vocal cords during human slumber hours will not be tolerated, and may result in banishment to the basement during said human slumber hours. You know who lives in the basement. You will not be happy in the basement.
Thank you.
Dear Basement Dweller,
Be kind to Jonas. Oh, tell kw I too suffer from early morning meows.
Dear annoying man next to me on the plane: I’m sure by now you know that the arm rests are for sharing, and is it necessary to sit with your legs spread apart as far as humanly possible? Your dinner the night before must have been fantastic, I too like garlic. PS: Deodorant is NOT optional. Signed: Hoping to never be beside you again.
According to Jim Jefferies, plane etiquette works as follows... WINDOW SEAT gets one armrest and a nice view. MIDDLE SEAT gets two armrests. AISLE SEAT gets one armrest and a bit of extra leg-room.
So the real question is... where were you seated?
Cheers.
'Cause you don't give blood and take it back again.
It may have escaped your attention that there was a car in front of mine as we were driving down Sawkill Rd. today. I understand it may have been hard for you to see since you were so close to my car. In any regards, thank you for thinking I possess some magical power to make the car in front of me go faster, but, alas, I don't. Also, I can not go faster than the car in front of me (two lane road, double yellow lines, and countless blind turns make it dangerous), and your closing the gap between our two cars does not make that any more of a reality. May I suggest you take a different road next time? There are more than one to take you to where you want to go.
The package you delivered to my house this afternoon, sadly, does not belong to me. I understand that with the holidays there is an increase in deliveries you must make, but this was not sprung upon you last minute ("Oh, by the way, Christmas is next week."). I will give you that you got the house number and the city & state correct, but the street you were looking for was a couple over from mine and is not even close in its spelling. If I am going to do your job for you (meaning: delivering the package to the correct address), then I would like to be paid in accordance. The ugly-ass uniform you can keep, though.
The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.
Just because I have a beard doesn't mean I'm a terrorist. What were you thinking I was hiding in my long hair? A bazooka? An ak? Thanks for doing your job, I feel so much safer.
One more time? Why wait? I'd be reporting him now. What if it's really bad next time?
Well, it hasn't been bad, he just tries to get to my dog, but we get between them...it's ridiculous...their excuse is "he doesn't like little dogs"...what dog doesn't like other dogs??? That's not something innate, that's something learned...and he's in a neighborhood full of little dogs....but if they don't start using a leash when they take him out and he goes for my dog again...we're reporting...
Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior! Tattooed Dissident!
nope, they have no excuses, and they're just stupid...I got home from work yesterday, and she had him out without a leash...luckily, my dog went out of town with my hubby so I didn't have to worry about it...but it's just so maddening....
Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior! Tattooed Dissident!
Spring has come to our corner of the woods. You may have noticed that the bird feeder has been taken down for the season (I know you have noticed because I've been hearing you bitch about it for the past three days). It will return when the snow returns, not before. The free lunch is over. Get off my deck. Scram!
I thought we were done but you decided to dump 12+ inches today? The day after my sweet wife ran over the snow shovel? Thanks.
If I had known then what I know now...
Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
VIC 07
EV LA1 08
Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
Columbus 10
EV LA 11
Vancouver 11
Missoula 12
Portland 13, Spokane 13
St. Paul 14, Denver 14
Please stop trying to have sex in my nose. Everyone in this area already has allergies thanks to you but my god you need to lay off the attempted nose rape. My eyes and sinuses can't take anymore. Take an anti-horny pill for gods sake and stop with the pollen.
Tom Brady & Donald Trump, BFF's Fuckus rules all Rob Seattle
Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
VIC 07
EV LA1 08
Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
Columbus 10
EV LA 11
Vancouver 11
Missoula 12
Portland 13, Spokane 13
St. Paul 14, Denver 14
You don't get them due to the 12" of snow you have on the ground, enjoy your karmic snow and don't freeze off the nether region you may slightly resemble.
Anything you lose from being honest You never really had to begin with.
Sometimes it's not the song that makes you emotional it's the people and things that come to your mind when you hear it.
Comments
I want one of everything. Including the rugged man. And the four pairs of cute snow boots, for when I move to Colorado or Montana.
Please send everything very soon.
The city just put up 10 A-frame NO PARKING TOW AWAY ZONE signs...and guess what!?!?!? You are parked in the NO Parking zone!
I will quite enjoy it when the tow truck shows up to tow your truck away in a few hours. Since you don't live in the neighborhood, and leave your vehicle parked for days on end...you don't know about the 'No Parking' signs. *giggle*
-me
- Christopher McCandless
I know this is hard for you but if you could really try to pull it together enough so that I don't have to fix your continued screw ups on what should be very simple and straight forward tasks it would be greatly appreciated.
I do not currently have the time or energy to fix these screw ups so as advanced notice I will no longer go to standard mildly irritated muttering to myself status but straight to angry fucking bear. This will not be pretty and should be avoided at all costs so please pull it together, pull your head out of your ass, get a clue or whatever is necessary.
Sincerely,
ND
You never really had to begin with.
Sometimes it's not the song that makes you emotional it's the people and things that come to your mind when you hear it.
After 15yrs of service I would like to inform you I will not be entertaining the idea of commuting back and forth across the 401 during rush hour (3hrs daily). I will be taking the severance package and moving back east closer to family. Thank you for the years of employment and support but now the time has come to move on and grow further.
Peace out bitches,
N
From: kw18
Re: Morning meows
I am well-aware of your hunger pains. However, you should be aware that simply meowing does not make me get out of bed faster to feed you. It makes me want to get out of bed and toss you from the bedroom. This is something of which you should be aware, as I have already done so in the past. Repeatedly.
As one of the two moneymakers in the household (the other not being a feline in any way) who is responsible for ensuring the purchase and delivery of your meals, I urge you to use greater discretion in your pre-sunrise demands.
I helpfully suggest several options for when you wake early and feel hungry in the future:
- Replace your loud, annoying morning meows with pleasant purrs.
- Nap less during the day, to allow you to sleep in later in the morning.
- Stop allowing your younger brothers to eat your dinner and/or breakfast, allowing you to get your full meal allotments.
- Grow opposable thumbs and retrieve your own damn food.
Further abuse of your vocal cords during human slumber hours will not be tolerated, and may result in banishment to the basement during said human slumber hours. You know who lives in the basement. You will not be happy in the basement.
Thank you.
"Let's check Idaho."
Be kind to Jonas. Oh, tell kw I too suffer from early morning meows.
I’m sure by now you know that the arm rests are for sharing, and is it necessary to sit with your legs spread apart as far as humanly possible? Your dinner the night before must have been fantastic, I too like garlic.
PS: Deodorant is NOT optional.
Signed:
Hoping to never be beside you again.
WINDOW SEAT gets one armrest and a nice view.
MIDDLE SEAT gets two armrests.
AISLE SEAT gets one armrest and a bit of extra leg-room.
So the real question is...
where were you seated?
Cheers.
It may have escaped your attention that there was a car in front of mine as we were driving down Sawkill Rd. today. I understand it may have been hard for you to see since you were so close to my car. In any regards, thank you for thinking I possess some magical power to make the car in front of me go faster, but, alas, I don't. Also, I can not go faster than the car in front of me (two lane road, double yellow lines, and countless blind turns make it dangerous), and your closing the gap between our two cars does not make that any more of a reality. May I suggest you take a different road next time? There are more than one to take you to where you want to go.
Re: Package delivery
The package you delivered to my house this afternoon, sadly, does not belong to me. I understand that with the holidays there is an increase in deliveries you must make, but this was not sprung upon you last minute ("Oh, by the way, Christmas is next week."). I will give you that you got the house number and the city & state correct, but the street you were looking for was a couple over from mine and is not even close in its spelling. If I am going to do your job for you (meaning: delivering the package to the correct address), then I would like to be paid in accordance. The ugly-ass uniform you can keep, though.
I love the view from the office.
That is all.
RK
- Christopher McCandless
from - chadvvick
the fountain of youth? STFU
get the fuck out of here
that is all
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
Just because I have a beard doesn't mean I'm a terrorist. What were you thinking I was hiding in my long hair? A bazooka? An ak? Thanks for doing your job, I feel so much safer.
Take your dog out on a leash, or risk the consequences...if he attacks my dog one more time, I WILL be reporting you to the authorities...
Thanks your annoying neighbor next door....
Tattooed Dissident!
Another habit says its long overdue
Another habit like an unwanted friend
I'm so happy with my righteous self
Tattooed Dissident!
Another habit says its long overdue
Another habit like an unwanted friend
I'm so happy with my righteous self
Tattooed Dissident!
Another habit says its long overdue
Another habit like an unwanted friend
I'm so happy with my righteous self
Tattooed Dissident!
Spring has come to our corner of the woods. You may have noticed that the bird feeder has been taken down for the season (I know you have noticed because I've been hearing you bitch about it for the past three days). It will return when the snow returns, not before. The free lunch is over. Get off my deck. Scram!
I thought we were done but you decided to dump 12+ inches today? The day after my sweet wife ran over the snow shovel? Thanks.
Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
VIC 07
EV LA1 08
Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
Columbus 10
EV LA 11
Vancouver 11
Missoula 12
Portland 13, Spokane 13
St. Paul 14, Denver 14
Please stop trying to have sex in my nose. Everyone in this area already has allergies thanks to you but my god you need to lay off the attempted nose rape. My eyes and sinuses can't take anymore. Take an anti-horny pill for gods sake and stop with the pollen.
Fuckus rules all
Rob
Seattle
I can't take the pain no more.
even if I look and act really crazy.
I don't get them so....wah, wah, wah.
Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
VIC 07
EV LA1 08
Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
Columbus 10
EV LA 11
Vancouver 11
Missoula 12
Portland 13, Spokane 13
St. Paul 14, Denver 14
You never really had to begin with.
Sometimes it's not the song that makes you emotional it's the people and things that come to your mind when you hear it.