I haven't disowned my family but sometimes I feel like I am the black sheep and that they have disowned me. I think sometimes it might just be in my head but I don't know. Since I don't subscribe to their way of thinking I am the one who is wrong. I have not chosen a traditional path in life. I lived with my boyfriend before we got married, we ran off and got married (no church wedding), we have decided not to have children and a lot of the time we travel on holidays. Just because we do not want to sit around and look at each other on the holidays doesn't mean I love my family any less. It just means that I have a few days off from work and I want to go see something else. Why does that one day have to be THE day to sit and look at each other? Why not next Tuesday or a week from Monday? Invite me over for dinner then and I will be more that happy to sit and look at you, all night if you want me too. But what makes the fourth Thursday in November THE day to force family to get together? I have a small family and my sister is the worst and she plants seeds of admonishment in my mom's head. Otherwise, my mom would probably be more than willing to go on our holiday travels with us.
I love my sister, but we haven't had any meaningful contact for over 3 years now.
She was a terrible burden on my family, and even knew that she was and would say things like "It's not my fault you can't say no". It came to a head over plans for Xmas day a few years back, turned into a huge row resulting in my wife telling her to get out of our house. I figured it would blow over, but 3 days later all the things they had borrowed from us, and also the Xmas presents for her children we had already given to them were in boxes outside our house. I have only spoken to her to say Good Morning to her on the school run a couple of times since. I get sad when I see her children, and I know my mom is sad about not having us all together, but I can't explain to my mom properly as my sister said some terribly hurtfull things about my parents during the row and the straw that exploded the row was to do with them also.
I have no time for my sister in my life anymore, but I am sad about the break up of our families.
I've been dealing with rectal cancer for 4 months. any support from my sister has been non-existent. after a four hour surgery that got the cancer, but took my rectum, my sister calls and says "I think my prayers made the difference."
sure....that was it...not the chemo; not the radiation; not the surgeon....not all the love I've gotten from people on this board. it was all you, sis. :x
If I had known then what I know now...
Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
VIC 07
EV LA1 08
Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
Columbus 10
EV LA 11
Vancouver 11
Missoula 12
Portland 13, Spokane 13
St. Paul 14, Denver 14
I've been dealing with rectal cancer for 4 months. any support from my sister has been non-existent. after a four hour surgery that got the cancer, but took my rectum, my sister calls and says "I think my prayers made the difference."
sure....that was it...not the chemo; not the radiation; not the surgeon....not all the love I've gotten from people on this board. it was all you, sis. :x
Geez.
I find it odd that people who pray and apparently believe in God could be so "cold"
So I'll just lie down and wait for the dream Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
I've been dealing with rectal cancer for 4 months. any support from my sister has been non-existent. after a four hour surgery that got the cancer, but took my rectum, my sister calls and says "I think my prayers made the difference."
sure....that was it...not the chemo; not the radiation; not the surgeon....not all the love I've gotten from people on this board. it was all you, sis. :x
Geez.
I find it odd that people who pray and apparently believe in God could be so "cold"
she's a piece of work.
when my mom died in 2005, I did EVERYTHING in regard to cleaning out her house, getting it ready to sell, donating, arranging an auction, etc.
my sister shows up when I'm done to take some stuff she wants and tells me "don't forget to clean the light switch covers." :x
If I had known then what I know now...
Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
VIC 07
EV LA1 08
Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
Columbus 10
EV LA 11
Vancouver 11
Missoula 12
Portland 13, Spokane 13
St. Paul 14, Denver 14
I've been dealing with rectal cancer for 4 months. any support from my sister has been non-existent. after a four hour surgery that got the cancer, but took my rectum, my sister calls and says "I think my prayers made the difference."
sure....that was it...not the chemo; not the radiation; not the surgeon....not all the love I've gotten from people on this board. it was all you, sis. :x
Geez.
I find it odd that people who pray and apparently believe in God could be so "cold"
she's a piece of work.
when my mom died in 2005, I did EVERYTHING in regard to cleaning out her house, getting it ready to sell, donating, arranging an auction, etc.
my sister shows up when I'm done to take some stuff she wants and tells me "don't forget to clean the light switch covers." :x
WOW! Sounds like my family. My family is a piece of work. The easiest way I have found to deal with them is to not deal with them. Less heartache and less aggravation.
Going for surgery in the morning tomorrow and not any of them (mom, brother or sister) knows I have cancer...or will go to the hospital with me tomorrow. My mom has a funeral for a nonfamily member she just has to go to. :shock: since when does a nonfamily members funeral become more important than your own daughter going in for surgery to remove cancer?!?!?! :evil: :shock:
I just don't get some people these days. Oh well! It makes us stronger as individuals. At least that's the way I look at it.
My dad supposedly Disowned my oldest sister this past year over a dispute that she dragged him into during her divorce.. in the end, my sister stole 1200 dollars from her ex-husband who then tried to pin it on my Dad since we'd gone back out to Kansas to help her move all of my stuff as well as hers from her ex-husband's house. It is a precarious situation to be in.. I personally don't know where to stand on my family's situation.. I feel my sister deserved the money since she had to bail this loser out of jail several times due to drunk driving incidents and she saved his job more than once, by drawing her bank account into the red to make the bail payments before he had to work the next morning. However I think my dad also has a point in being pissed over the whole thing, because he never knew ( nor did I) that my sister had done this until the police report came out, complete with the license plate to my dad's truck, dates and times.. and a witness statement from the guy who helped us move all our shit.. so I personally, having cut my mother out of my life for nearly 8 years, agree that if your family is making you physically ill one should cut them off.To be honest, the only reason I EVER moved my mother back out to Kansas with me was because when she go into her car accident ( she'd been awake for three days then decided to go get more stuff to make more meth with, crashing her car into a box truck), my sister and I were the only ones who would go back out to Cali and claim her.. To this day I wish we hadn't.. but oh well one of those live and learn things ya know?? those 8 years where I didn't talk to her and sent all her letters back, were the greatest 8 years of my "family life" Anyhow my prayers are with you and your family in this troubling time..hope it all works out for you guys.
sad stuff here. this is me, this is us, my family. i do not know my cousins at all. i know what some of them look like, that's it. i do not know where any of them live. our mother's family disowned her when she was a girl way back when. mom has three sisters and one brother. my aunts and my uncle, i have no clue except that the aunts are all three nasty bitches. the uncle is forgiven beings he has never lived near us. the three aunts always have lived near by (one aunt finally moved to florida a few yrs ago). these are pretty uppity well off folks whom have never once showed love to our mother, their sister.
i have mom and one brother left, that's it. dad and one brother died years ago. it makes me sad that mother's family treat her with utter disrespect and have zero compassion for her at all.
they have no reasons for their actions in this case at all. it'd be different if mom was a raging drug addicted, alcoholic, abusive slave driver setting fires to orphanages and stuff.
mom is a saint actually. slightly out of her mind from time to time, but that's her artistic ways. she does more art forms than anyone i know.
i do not want my aunts or cousins to attend mother's funeral when that time comes. i do not wish to attend any of their funerals either.
you want cold? try getting kicked out of grandpa's house during a christmas party. gramps said we were out playing in themud, when infact we were out smoking cigs... all my aunts just sat there and let gramps be a cocksucker to our mom and us.
i do not like weak bullshit.
edit... most of dad's relatives live in California. most of them i have no clue about. sad stuff.
I have nothing to do with most of my family...only child but got lots of cousins. I look at family as the people you were forced to be associated with and friends as the family you choose. Therefore my closest friendship mean more to me than anything. Why should I like my dickhead cousin just because he's my dickhead cousin? Nope. I never talk to any cousins on my dad's side nor either of his sisters if I can avoid it. His brother is a pretty cool dude but don't have much to do with him either though he and pop are tight.
Cousins on my mom's side I have four. One of them is fuckin nutcase with a fucked up punk of a teenage kid. I told her off real good a couple of months ago for being a bitch to my mom. I don't have to talk to her anymore now.
One of them is one year younger than me and we always ran around together....as we've gotten older not so much for various reasons. One of them lives aways and is ok....just never see her.
Then the fourth one is my best friend. I don't think of him like 'that's my cousin'....he's my friend and that means more to me than being my cousin. I wouldn't piss on his dad if he was on fire though. Maybe I have a fucked up view of family. But it's mostly warranted.
All I have to do is revel in the everyday....then do it again tomorrow
They say every sin is deadly but I believe they may be wrong...I'm guilty of all seven and I don't feel too bad at all
I'm real close to telling my middle sister off for good. Enough is enough and I'm not gonna deal with her shit anymore. I don't need it and don't wont it. Been dealing with it for way to long now.
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Needing a ride to Forest Hills and a ounce of weed. Please inquire within. Thanks. Or not. Posts: 58,276
I'm real close to telling my middle sister off for good. Enough is enough and I'm not gonna deal with her shit anymore. I don't need it and don't wont it. Been dealing with it for way to long now.
i don't take calls from my one brother any more. not worth the effort.
My sister's, their friends, everyone is dying from cancer ...
tumor here tumor there, my sister is dying with a dear friend as I post this,
perhaps he is gone now.
just dropping, no time ...
months, weeks, days, gone gone
just like our oldest sister
who's next?
the pettiness of life shouldn't keep one from loving,
does everyone deserve it ... no
My mom disowned her older sister because she's a rotten human being who treated her like shit, is a manipulative cow. Finally my mom had had enough after putting up with it for 55 years or whatever. And she hasn't looked back since. She's thrilled to have her out of her life and won't go to her funeral, and frankly won't care when she dies. She hates her and is just happy she doesn't have to deal with her ever again. So I guess the disowning went well. I figure that it's crazy to keep someone who makes you miserable in your life. I don't think the fact that they're family should matter in that kind of scenario. People shouldn't put up with others treating them like shit year after year no matter who they are. A bad person is a bad person, family or not.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
Being victimized is almost unforgivable, I know.
Forgiving heals the heart, it's going to happen, it is inevitable
once we know each other's pain.
It's something we all can do, free your heart, forgive then live.
Being victimized is almost unforgivable, I know.
Forgiving heals the heart, it's going to happen, it is inevitable
once we know each other's pain.
It's something we all can do, free your heart, forgive then live.
I don't know about you, but if, say, I had a parent who molested me during my childhood, I would not be forgiving. I'd have nothing to do with them. But the sad thing is that so many children with the shittiest parent(s) in the world who abused them and still feel like they have a responsibility to make peace with such people just because they are family, and I think THAT'S damaging. Making peace with yourself is great, but I see no need to make peace with someone who is abusive, especially not a parent who is.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
Being victimized is almost unforgivable, I know.
Forgiving heals the heart, it's going to happen, it is inevitable
once we know each other's pain.
It's something we all can do, free your heart, forgive then live.
I don't know about you, but if, say, I had a parent who molested me during my childhood, I would not be forgiving. I'd have nothing to do with them. But the sad thing is that so many children with the shittiest parent(s) in the world who abused them and still feel like they have a responsibility to make peace with such people just because they are family, and I think THAT'S damaging. Making peace with yourself is great, but I see no need to make peace with someone who is abusive, especially not a parent who is.
I agree. There's absolutely no need to make peace with someone who has been abusive and is an unhealthy person to be around. Sometimes the best thing you can do is keep them at a distance or cut them out completely. Sometimes that is absolutely necessary. Some people find they can reconnect, which can be healing if the other person is no longer abusive and especially if they've owned and worked through what they've done. Forgiving is just about letting go of the anger; and you can forgive without reconnecting or making peace with the other person.
"I need your strength for me to be strong...I need your love to feel loved"
Being victimized is almost unforgivable, I know.
Forgiving heals the heart, it's going to happen, it is inevitable
once we know each other's pain.
It's something we all can do, free your heart, forgive then live.
I don't know about you, but if, say, I had a parent who molested me during my childhood, I would not be forgiving. I'd have nothing to do with them. But the sad thing is that so many children with the shittiest parent(s) in the world who abused them and still feel like they have a responsibility to make peace with such people just because they are family, and I think THAT'S damaging. Making peace with yourself is great, but I see no need to make peace with someone who is abusive, especially not a parent who is.
I agree. There's absolutely no need to make peace with someone who has been abusive and is an unhealthy person to be around. Sometimes the best thing you can do is keep them at a distance or cut them out completely. Sometimes that is absolutely necessary. Some people find they can reconnect, which can be healing if the other person is no longer abusive and especially if they've owned and worked through what they've done. Forgiving is just about letting go of the anger; and you can forgive without reconnecting or making peace with the other person.
What about forgetting? What if you just forget about the person and all the bad things they said or did to you? Then there is nothing left to forgive,...
The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.
I don't know about you, but if, say, I had a parent who molested me during my childhood, I would not be forgiving. I'd have nothing to do with them. But the sad thing is that so many children with the shittiest parent(s) in the world who abused them and still feel like they have a responsibility to make peace with such people just because they are family, and I think THAT'S damaging. Making peace with yourself is great, but I see no need to make peace with someone who is abusive, especially not a parent who is.
I agree. There's absolutely no need to make peace with someone who has been abusive and is an unhealthy person to be around. Sometimes the best thing you can do is keep them at a distance or cut them out completely. Sometimes that is absolutely necessary. Some people find they can reconnect, which can be healing if the other person is no longer abusive and especially if they've owned and worked through what they've done. Forgiving is just about letting go of the anger; and you can forgive without reconnecting or making peace with the other person.
What about forgetting? What if you just forget about the person and all the bad things they said or did to you? Then there is nothing left to forgive,...
That's much easier said than done, particularly if you're talking about abusive family members.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
What about forgetting? What if you just forget about the person and all the bad things they said or did to you? Then there is nothing left to forgive,...
That's much easier said than done, particularly if you're talking about abusive family members.
I've pretty much blocked my abusive parent out out of my mind. Don't think about them, every now and then, something happens that reminds me of them, and I just remind myself, "f**k that @%&!" and go on about my life.
The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.
What about forgetting? What if you just forget about the person and all the bad things they said or did to you? Then there is nothing left to forgive,...
That's much easier said than done, particularly if you're talking about abusive family members.
I've pretty much blocked my abusive parent out out of my mind. Don't think about them, every now and then, something happens that reminds me of them, and I just remind myself, "f**k that @%&!" and go on about my life.
That's great - good for you!
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
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Family is hard...
She was a terrible burden on my family, and even knew that she was and would say things like "It's not my fault you can't say no". It came to a head over plans for Xmas day a few years back, turned into a huge row resulting in my wife telling her to get out of our house. I figured it would blow over, but 3 days later all the things they had borrowed from us, and also the Xmas presents for her children we had already given to them were in boxes outside our house. I have only spoken to her to say Good Morning to her on the school run a couple of times since. I get sad when I see her children, and I know my mom is sad about not having us all together, but I can't explain to my mom properly as my sister said some terribly hurtfull things about my parents during the row and the straw that exploded the row was to do with them also.
I have no time for my sister in my life anymore, but I am sad about the break up of our families.
I've been dealing with rectal cancer for 4 months. any support from my sister has been non-existent. after a four hour surgery that got the cancer, but took my rectum, my sister calls and says "I think my prayers made the difference."
sure....that was it...not the chemo; not the radiation; not the surgeon....not all the love I've gotten from people on this board. it was all you, sis. :x
Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
VIC 07
EV LA1 08
Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
Columbus 10
EV LA 11
Vancouver 11
Missoula 12
Portland 13, Spokane 13
St. Paul 14, Denver 14
Geez.
I find it odd that people who pray and apparently believe in God could be so "cold"
Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
sorry for all the heartache
I agree Neily, I couldn't imagine not seeing my family. We're not lovey dovey close, but we are a loving family.
I've never understood how people can let little things get in the way of their relationship with their family.
But I do know that everyone's situation is different, I guess I'm one of the lucky ones.
when my mom died in 2005, I did EVERYTHING in regard to cleaning out her house, getting it ready to sell, donating, arranging an auction, etc.
my sister shows up when I'm done to take some stuff she wants and tells me "don't forget to clean the light switch covers." :x
Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
VIC 07
EV LA1 08
Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
Columbus 10
EV LA 11
Vancouver 11
Missoula 12
Portland 13, Spokane 13
St. Paul 14, Denver 14
WOW! Sounds like my family. My family is a piece of work. The easiest way I have found to deal with them is to not deal with them. Less heartache and less aggravation.
Going for surgery in the morning tomorrow and not any of them (mom, brother or sister) knows I have cancer...or will go to the hospital with me tomorrow. My mom has a funeral for a nonfamily member she just has to go to. :shock: since when does a nonfamily members funeral become more important than your own daughter going in for surgery to remove cancer?!?!?! :evil: :shock:
I just don't get some people these days. Oh well! It makes us stronger as individuals. At least that's the way I look at it.
then I lost one to cancer
now I appreciate the other two much more and for all their crazy ass flaws
we are alive we are family ...
much of family is now on the other side
I want them to feel us together, as I feel them together, we will join them soon
revelation comes to some and not others... even those who pray
all in good time
Beautiful words.
i have mom and one brother left, that's it. dad and one brother died years ago. it makes me sad that mother's family treat her with utter disrespect and have zero compassion for her at all.
they have no reasons for their actions in this case at all. it'd be different if mom was a raging drug addicted, alcoholic, abusive slave driver setting fires to orphanages and stuff.
mom is a saint actually. slightly out of her mind from time to time, but that's her artistic ways. she does more art forms than anyone i know.
i do not want my aunts or cousins to attend mother's funeral when that time comes. i do not wish to attend any of their funerals either.
you want cold? try getting kicked out of grandpa's house during a christmas party. gramps said we were out playing in themud, when infact we were out smoking cigs... all my aunts just sat there and let gramps be a cocksucker to our mom and us.
i do not like weak bullshit.
edit... most of dad's relatives live in California. most of them i have no clue about. sad stuff.
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
Cousins on my mom's side I have four. One of them is fuckin nutcase with a fucked up punk of a teenage kid. I told her off real good a couple of months ago for being a bitch to my mom. I don't have to talk to her anymore now.
One of them is one year younger than me and we always ran around together....as we've gotten older not so much for various reasons. One of them lives aways and is ok....just never see her.
Then the fourth one is my best friend. I don't think of him like 'that's my cousin'....he's my friend and that means more to me than being my cousin. I wouldn't piss on his dad if he was on fire though. Maybe I have a fucked up view of family. But it's mostly warranted.
They say every sin is deadly but I believe they may be wrong...I'm guilty of all seven and I don't feel too bad at all
i don't take calls from my one brother any more. not worth the effort.
tumor here tumor there, my sister is dying with a dear friend as I post this,
perhaps he is gone now.
just dropping, no time ...
months, weeks, days, gone gone
just like our oldest sister
who's next?
the pettiness of life shouldn't keep one from loving,
does everyone deserve it ... no
can everyone do it ... yes
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
Forgiving heals the heart, it's going to happen, it is inevitable
once we know each other's pain.
It's something we all can do, free your heart, forgive then live.
"I need your strength for me to be strong...I need your love to feel loved"
What about forgetting? What if you just forget about the person and all the bad things they said or did to you? Then there is nothing left to forgive,...
- Christopher McCandless
I've pretty much blocked my abusive parent out out of my mind. Don't think about them, every now and then, something happens that reminds me of them, and I just remind myself, "f**k that @%&!" and go on about my life.
- Christopher McCandless