The thing that sucks the most is the guilt. I was raised catholic and I keep hearing in my head "THAT"S YOUR FAMILY!" We're supposed to love our family, unconditionally.
That's dangerous.
Yes we are supposed to love our family unconditionally, however we still have to protect ourselves.
Happy to find this thread with minimal searching. I didn't want to start a new thread. Mostly just want to get this "out" somewhere.
A few years back I excommunicated my mother from my life. It only lasted six months, until she was going through some things and I felt like I should be there for her.
Ugh. Well, now I've relied on her for some help and I soooo should have known better. I look forward to getting out of this situation. But, it sucks that I got pulled back into her manipulative ways.
I don't think I'll excommunicate her this time, but our contact will be very limited, for sure.
Happy to find this thread with minimal searching. I didn't want to start a new thread. Mostly just want to get this "out" somewhere.
A few years back I excommunicated my mother from my life. It only lasted six months, until she was going through some things and I felt like I should be there for her.
Ugh. Well, now I've relied on her for some help and I soooo should have known better. I look forward to getting out of this situation. But, it sucks that I got pulled back into her manipulative ways.
I don't think I'll excommunicate her this time, but our contact will be very limited, for sure.
In some situations, it takes a while for healthy boundaries to be established.
The thing that sucks the most is the guilt. I was raised catholic and I keep hearing in my head "THAT"S YOUR FAMILY!" We're supposed to love our family, unconditionally.
That's dangerous.
Yes we are supposed to love our family unconditionally, however we still have to protect ourselves.
Happy to find this thread with minimal searching. I didn't want to start a new thread. Mostly just want to get this "out" somewhere.
A few years back I excommunicated my mother from my life. It only lasted six months, until she was going through some things and I felt like I should be there for her.
Ugh. Well, now I've relied on her for some help and I soooo should have known better. I look forward to getting out of this situation. But, it sucks that I got pulled back into her manipulative ways.
I don't think I'll excommunicate her this time, but our contact will be very limited, for sure.
Always glad to see this thread.
Ohh how I wish I could trade my sister for another sister. She is such a bitch, yes I said it.
^ ^ YES!
It's been about 6 months since I spoke to my sis, 3 months since I talked to her husband.
My sis is pregnant, do I not attend hospital when her baby is born and the christening?
Do I not attend my bro in laws 40th this year?
Well I guess I won't be invited anyways to these events!
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
The thing that sucks the most is the guilt. I was raised catholic and I keep hearing in my head "THAT"S YOUR FAMILY!" We're supposed to love our family, unconditionally.
That's dangerous.
Yes we are supposed to love our family unconditionally, however we still have to protect ourselves.
Who says we are suppose to? Also, if we are suppose to and don't, do we just lie about it?
I hate that expression, "I love so and so because they are family and I have to", or "I love so and so because they are family but I don't like them". What a guilt trip!
I'm with Heather....I don't have brothers or sisters, but my parents are close with their families so my cousins were always kind of like siblings to me. Thing is...I don't have any love for the idiots on my dad's side, but two of mother's nephews are two of the closest friends I have.
Beyond that, I have always thought of my friends more like family and I have always felt more loyalty towards my TRUE friends that my actual family
All I have to do is revel in the everyday....then do it again tomorrow
They say every sin is deadly but I believe they may be wrong...I'm guilty of all seven and I don't feel too bad at all
I would like to revisit this thread. I think there is a lot of stuff brewing out there since Mother’s Day is this weekend. I have had 2 friends call me today dreading the fact that Mother’s Day is on Sunday. I am going to start charging by the hour and have a floral couch put in my office and some fake flowers from IKEA.
On my side – OPEN VENT; My mother called me in August and told she is divorcing my father whom she had been married to for 40 years. This morning the divorce was suppose to be finalized, but he didn’t sign the papers. He says he won’t sign until he gets a blue bowl that my deceased grandma used to hold her monthly bills that has sat in the China cabinet for 30 years. Are you f’ing kidding me? VENT DONE
New thought...
I guess we can think we want to disown but then that someone decides they are going to leave this world and then they are missed. Love them while they are here even if its difficult. Even if they are difficult. Just love them while they are alive, here, now, while you can.
New thought...
I guess we can think we want to disown but then that someone decides they are going to leave this world and then they are missed. Love them while they are here even if its difficult. Even if they are difficult. Just love them while they are alive, here, now, while you can.[/
New thought...
I guess we can think we want to disown but then that someone decides they are going to leave this world and then they are missed. Love them while they are here even if its difficult. Even if they are difficult. Just love them while they are alive, here, now, while you can.[/
Easier said than done.
I know.
Perhaps this is why some consider suicide. We think they are disappointed in others and the world and that this let them down but perhaps they are disappointed in themselves and fear letting others down. Unconditional love perhaps could save someone.
I think it's possible to love someone, but not accept their mistreatment. Sometimes you have to hold them at a distance for your own emotional safety...and you can hope this opens their eyes and does them some good...but it won't always. Ultimately you have to take care of yourself before you can care for anyone else (put your air mask on first as the airlines tell us)! And some people will never be safe enough to let in close...although you still may care about them. It takes a lot of work and strength to get to that level of acceptance.
"I need your strength for me to be strong...I need your love to feel loved"
New thought...
I guess we can think we want to disown but then that someone decides they are going to leave this world and then they are missed. Love them while they are here even if its difficult. Even if they are difficult. Just love them while they are alive, here, now, while you can.
Some people, when they're gone, I'll breathe a sigh of relief, not miss them.
R.i.p. Rigoberto Alpizar.
R.i.p. My Dad - May 28, 2007
R.i.p. Black Tail (cat) - Sept. 20, 2008
this is a really touchy subject.. i hope you all have some amazing family/friends out there as support. i find time to time to keep it all in as not to overburden certain people.. but that's bullshit, you gotta let it all out..
New thought...
I guess we can think we want to disown but then that someone decides they are going to leave this world and then they are missed. Love them while they are here even if its difficult. Even if they are difficult. Just love them while they are alive, here, now, while you can.
Some people, when they're gone, I'll breathe a sigh of relief, not miss them.
I hope this is out of fear not loathing. If you fear someone out of personal harm that remains a threat, this is a very understandable way to feel.
If you hate someone because you are unable to forgive them then I feel it is your heart that is being the most hurt by this.
If you believe we are all on a path of spiritual growth in this life it becomes very clear why we must forgive. We don't need to forget only forgive.
I understand some things seem unforgivable. Evil motives being that which drives the most unforgivable.
I heart filled with hate is locked and can not open. Its corny but love is the key.
I hope that some have found peace. I have been speaking to my parents once a week, about 30 minutes each time. Usually, that time is filled with talk of the price of gas, the weather, and my kids' happenings. We also talk about the dogs. My dad thinks it's hilarious that I don't know what the price of gas is in Wheaton, IL. It's gas... I need it.... I will buy it it if it's 10 bucks or 99 cents a gallon. Why get stressed and pissed about the price?
We laugh.. they recently moved from NE Wisconsin to NW Alabama. ???????????
Try to make peace. Be the bigger person. Bite your tongue. When people look at my profile, they see my biggest topic here is this one... disowning family.
It should be about my LOVE FOR PORCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope that some have found peace. I have been speaking to my parents once a week, about 30 minutes each time. Usually, that time is filled with talk of the price of gas, the weather, and my kids' happenings. We also talk about the dogs. My dad thinks it's hilarious that I don't know what the price of gas is in Wheaton, IL. It's gas... I need it.... I will buy it it if it's 10 bucks or 99 cents a gallon. Why get stressed and pissed about the price?
We laugh.. they recently moved from NE Wisconsin to NW Alabama. ???????????
Try to make peace. Be the bigger person. Bite your tongue. When people look at my profile, they see my biggest topic here is this one... disowning family.
It should be about my LOVE FOR PORCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For now there is peace on the battle field. I told my sister to keep this nice mood she's in and don't go back to being a bitch. lol
gawd...never saw this thread before...read the whole thing thru and parts of it made me cry because I have disowned my mother for the last 5 years.....my reasons are justified and I don't need to spew all the painful things she caused/said and done to me.
Thank god my father loves me and I wish I could see him more often....I wouldn't still be alive if it weren't for him. Thanks Daddy, I love you and hope you know it.
The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.
I hope that some have found peace. I have been speaking to my parents once a week, about 30 minutes each time. Usually, that time is filled with talk of the price of gas, the weather, and my kids' happenings. We also talk about the dogs. My dad thinks it's hilarious that I don't know what the price of gas is in Wheaton, IL. It's gas... I need it.... I will buy it it if it's 10 bucks or 99 cents a gallon. Why get stressed and pissed about the price?
We laugh.. they recently moved from NE Wisconsin to NW Alabama. ???????????
Try to make peace. Be the bigger person. Bite your tongue. When people look at my profile, they see my biggest topic here is this one... disowning family.
It should be about my LOVE FOR PORCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For now there is peace on the battle field. I told my sister to keep this nice mood she's in and don't go back to being a bitch. lol
Will see how long this last.
I'm glad you're speaking. Actually, I was thinking about YOU when I mentioned being the bigger person and biting your tongue.
0
Options
81
Needing a ride to Forest Hills and a ounce of weed. Please inquire within. Thanks. Or not. Posts: 58,276
Do either of you live off West Loop? I'm really close to Arrowhead golf club.
0
Options
81
Needing a ride to Forest Hills and a ounce of weed. Please inquire within. Thanks. Or not. Posts: 58,276
I'm a couple of burbs north in streamwood. We used to pass thru on the way to the whole foods down on butterfield before they opened the one in schaumburg. Weaton is a nice looking town.
I'm a couple of burbs north in streamwood. We used to pass thru on the way to the whole foods down on butterfield before they opened the one in schaumburg. Weaton is a nice looking town.
The best things about Wheaton.. good schools and a Whole Foods. Thanks for the gas price, my dad will be so proud when I talk with him on Sunday.
0
Options
81
Needing a ride to Forest Hills and a ounce of weed. Please inquire within. Thanks. Or not. Posts: 58,276
why? because i can pick out a nice steak to toss on the grill, vs having to go to a restraunt to have them prepare it? or did i miss something in your post :?:
why? because i can pick out a nice steak to toss on the grill, vs having to go to a restraunt to have them prepare it? or did i miss something in your post :?:
just seems like rural towns (although i have no idea) maybe surrounded by some trees
i don't freaking no.. i'm high and tired
i post on the board of a band that doesn't exsist anymore .......i need my head examined.......
0
Options
81
Needing a ride to Forest Hills and a ounce of weed. Please inquire within. Thanks. Or not. Posts: 58,276
we are not rural out here......chicago burbs don't stop until you hit the Iowa border.
Comments
Happy to find this thread with minimal searching. I didn't want to start a new thread. Mostly just want to get this "out" somewhere.
A few years back I excommunicated my mother from my life. It only lasted six months, until she was going through some things and I felt like I should be there for her.
Ugh. Well, now I've relied on her for some help and I soooo should have known better. I look forward to getting out of this situation. But, it sucks that I got pulled back into her manipulative ways.
I don't think I'll excommunicate her this time, but our contact will be very limited, for sure.
In some situations, it takes a while for healthy boundaries to be established.
Always glad to see this thread.
Ohh how I wish I could trade my sister for another sister. She is such a bitch, yes I said it.
It's been about 6 months since I spoke to my sis, 3 months since I talked to her husband.
My sis is pregnant, do I not attend hospital when her baby is born and the christening?
Do I not attend my bro in laws 40th this year?
Well I guess I won't be invited anyways to these events!
Beyond that, I have always thought of my friends more like family and I have always felt more loyalty towards my TRUE friends that my actual family
They say every sin is deadly but I believe they may be wrong...I'm guilty of all seven and I don't feel too bad at all
On my side – OPEN VENT; My mother called me in August and told she is divorcing my father whom she had been married to for 40 years. This morning the divorce was suppose to be finalized, but he didn’t sign the papers. He says he won’t sign until he gets a blue bowl that my deceased grandma used to hold her monthly bills that has sat in the China cabinet for 30 years. Are you f’ing kidding me? VENT DONE
I feel ya. It's about to get crazy with my family.
I guess we can think we want to disown but then that someone decides they are going to leave this world and then they are missed. Love them while they are here even if its difficult. Even if they are difficult. Just love them while they are alive, here, now, while you can.
Perhaps this is why some consider suicide. We think they are disappointed in others and the world and that this let them down but perhaps they are disappointed in themselves and fear letting others down. Unconditional love perhaps could save someone.
"I need your strength for me to be strong...I need your love to feel loved"
Some people, when they're gone, I'll breathe a sigh of relief, not miss them.
R.i.p. My Dad - May 28, 2007
R.i.p. Black Tail (cat) - Sept. 20, 2008
If you hate someone because you are unable to forgive them then I feel it is your heart that is being the most hurt by this.
If you believe we are all on a path of spiritual growth in this life it becomes very clear why we must forgive. We don't need to forget only forgive.
I understand some things seem unforgivable. Evil motives being that which drives the most unforgivable.
I heart filled with hate is locked and can not open. Its corny but love is the key.
We laugh.. they recently moved from NE Wisconsin to NW Alabama. ???????????
Try to make peace. Be the bigger person. Bite your tongue. When people look at my profile, they see my biggest topic here is this one... disowning family.
It should be about my LOVE FOR PORCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For now there is peace on the battle field. I told my sister to keep this nice mood she's in and don't go back to being a bitch. lol
Will see how long this last.
Thank god my father loves me and I wish I could see him more often....I wouldn't still be alive if it weren't for him. Thanks Daddy, I love you and hope you know it.
- Christopher McCandless
I'm glad you're speaking. Actually, I was thinking about YOU when I mentioned being the bigger person and biting your tongue.
I'd guess right around 3.359 :P
hiya neighbor.
ME TOO :shock:
what church you go to?
http://seanbriceart.com/
Do either of you live off West Loop? I'm really close to Arrowhead golf club.
The best things about Wheaton.. good schools and a Whole Foods. Thanks for the gas price, my dad will be so proud when I talk with him on Sunday.
no wonder you're comfy camping
why? because i can pick out a nice steak to toss on the grill, vs having to go to a restraunt to have them prepare it? or did i miss something in your post :?:
just seems like rural towns (although i have no idea) maybe surrounded by some trees
i don't freaking no.. i'm high and tired