'TWO BIG PIGS': Rude woman kicked off flight after fat-shaming meltdown

rgambs · February 2019

what dreams said:

Just to be clear, I'm not an apologist for fat people. I just think differently about problem. My understanding from reading the research on food addiction and other eating disorders is that the whole "willpower" argument IS part of the problem. People with anorexia, for example, tell themselves all the time that if they just had the willpower, they will be thin, so they starve themselves and exercise to death. Then when they eat, they beat themselves up for not having willpower, and then they purge. The cycle is just vicious. I understand the desire to urge people to overcome and survive and just keep going when it gets tough. But for people with an eating disorder, there IS a component of mental illness. I would not be surprised if a significant number of obese people also suffer from mental illness, which for most people is an invisible disease. None of us know for sure what other people carry around.
For three years, I had a side gig at a meal planning company. I learned that it is 99.9% impossible to change people's beliefs and habits surrounding food. There is no money at all in trying to help people put nutritious meals on the family table. Food costs are through the roof, for one, so the profit margin is quite small -- and very few people want to do the work to prep meals. They're busy and stressed the fuck out so they short-cut their diet to save time. Most people are thoroughly confused about what's healthy and what's not, even though the science is pretty consistently clear on some basic principles. Nutritional studies get misrepresented in the media all the time, so one week something's good, the next it's bad, then it's good. Of course people give up. I'm not saying it's right to give up. I'm just saying I can understand why they do.
Knowing how absolutely hard it is to maintain my current health in my 137 pound frame, I'm inclined to want to help a 250 pound woman in whatever way I can. That's just me.

It's certainly a very complicated relationship between addiction and mental illness. We really don't understand human behaviour half as well as someone who has a PhD in psychology/psychiatry would like the public to believe.

Thirty Bills Unpaid · February 2019

Unpopular opinion on the MT:

If help is what an obese person wants and help is what they are prepared to accept... then I'm fully in their corner to whatever capacity that fat friend of mine might need from me.

If an obese person wallows in their obesity- typically consuming way more calories than they expend- then they can own their condition. More often than not, when I hear a fat person complain about their weight to me and I offer them realistic solutions to their problem... they make a litany of excuses why none of the suggestions could possibly work.

And man... I'm really beginning to worry how much the term 'mental illness' gets carelessly tossed around. 'Mental illness' is not always the answer to poor human behaviour. It doesn't develop from typical everyday stressors that all humans face and deal with. From what I have come to understand, if it's not genetically or environmentally developed, mental illness usually manifests itself from trauma or repetitive and intense stress (particularly in the developmental years).

Having said that, a person may develop some form of mental illness dealing with their obesity (ie. looking in the mirror and becoming clinically depressed- not just sad); however, let's be honest here... the overwhelming percentage of people who became obese did so as a result of poor choices on their own accord.

HughFreakingDillon · February 2019

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

Unpopular opinion on the MT:

If help is what an obese person wants and help is what they are prepared to accept... then I'm fully in their corner to whatever capacity that fat friend of mine might need from me.

If an obese person wallows in their obesity- typically consuming way more calories than they expend- then they can own their condition. More often than not, when I hear a fat person complain about their weight to me and I offer them realistic solutions to their problem... they make a litany of excuses why none of the suggestions could possibly work.

And man... I'm really beginning to worry how much the term 'mental illness' gets carelessly tossed around. 'Mental illness' is not always the answer to poor human behaviour. It doesn't develop from typical everyday stressors that all humans face and deal with. From what I have come to understand, if it's not genetically or environmentally developed, mental illness usually manifests itself from trauma or repetitive and intense stress (particularly in the developmental years).

Having said that, a person may develop some form of mental illness dealing with their obesity (ie. looking in the mirror and becoming clinically depressed- not just sad); however, let's be honest here... the overwhelming percentage of people who became obese did so as a result of poor choices on their own accord.

I'm not sure mental illness is being carelessly tossed around. I think it's just that we weren't prepared for how rampant it really is, and how far-reaching it can be with regards to other problems that can manifest as a result.

no one is suggesting that all obesity stems from mental illness. far from it. diet and exercise are obviously the biggest factor. All I was saying is that in MY CASE I believe it to be a factor.

Thirty Bills Unpaid · February 2019

HughFreakingDillon said:

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

Unpopular opinion on the MT:

If help is what an obese person wants and help is what they are prepared to accept... then I'm fully in their corner to whatever capacity that fat friend of mine might need from me.

If an obese person wallows in their obesity- typically consuming way more calories than they expend- then they can own their condition. More often than not, when I hear a fat person complain about their weight to me and I offer them realistic solutions to their problem... they make a litany of excuses why none of the suggestions could possibly work.

And man... I'm really beginning to worry how much the term 'mental illness' gets carelessly tossed around. 'Mental illness' is not always the answer to poor human behaviour. It doesn't develop from typical everyday stressors that all humans face and deal with. From what I have come to understand, if it's not genetically or environmentally developed, mental illness usually manifests itself from trauma or repetitive and intense stress (particularly in the developmental years).

Having said that, a person may develop some form of mental illness dealing with their obesity (ie. looking in the mirror and becoming clinically depressed- not just sad); however, let's be honest here... the overwhelming percentage of people who became obese did so as a result of poor choices on their own accord.

I'm not sure mental illness is being carelessly tossed around. I think it's just that we weren't prepared for how rampant it really is, and how far-reaching it can be with regards to other problems that can manifest as a result.

no one is suggesting that all obesity stems from mental illness. far from it. diet and exercise are obviously the biggest factor. All I was saying is that in MY CASE I believe it to be a factor.

I wasn't directing anything towards anyone in particular and I also refer to many other threads where people sign off and mental illness as a likely causal factor.

HughFreakingDillon · February 2019

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

Unpopular opinion on the MT:

If help is what an obese person wants and help is what they are prepared to accept... then I'm fully in their corner to whatever capacity that fat friend of mine might need from me.

If an obese person wallows in their obesity- typically consuming way more calories than they expend- then they can own their condition. More often than not, when I hear a fat person complain about their weight to me and I offer them realistic solutions to their problem... they make a litany of excuses why none of the suggestions could possibly work.

And man... I'm really beginning to worry how much the term 'mental illness' gets carelessly tossed around. 'Mental illness' is not always the answer to poor human behaviour. It doesn't develop from typical everyday stressors that all humans face and deal with. From what I have come to understand, if it's not genetically or environmentally developed, mental illness usually manifests itself from trauma or repetitive and intense stress (particularly in the developmental years).

Having said that, a person may develop some form of mental illness dealing with their obesity (ie. looking in the mirror and becoming clinically depressed- not just sad); however, let's be honest here... the overwhelming percentage of people who became obese did so as a result of poor choices on their own accord.

I'm not sure mental illness is being carelessly tossed around. I think it's just that we weren't prepared for how rampant it really is, and how far-reaching it can be with regards to other problems that can manifest as a result.

no one is suggesting that all obesity stems from mental illness. far from it. diet and exercise are obviously the biggest factor. All I was saying is that in MY CASE I believe it to be a factor.

I wasn't directing anything towards anyone in particular and I also refer to many other threads where people sign off and mental illness as a likely causal factor.

yeah, I knew it was a general comment. just tossing in my $0.02, that's all.

Thirty Bills Unpaid · February 2019

HughFreakingDillon said:

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

Unpopular opinion on the MT:

If help is what an obese person wants and help is what they are prepared to accept... then I'm fully in their corner to whatever capacity that fat friend of mine might need from me.

If an obese person wallows in their obesity- typically consuming way more calories than they expend- then they can own their condition. More often than not, when I hear a fat person complain about their weight to me and I offer them realistic solutions to their problem... they make a litany of excuses why none of the suggestions could possibly work.

And man... I'm really beginning to worry how much the term 'mental illness' gets carelessly tossed around. 'Mental illness' is not always the answer to poor human behaviour. It doesn't develop from typical everyday stressors that all humans face and deal with. From what I have come to understand, if it's not genetically or environmentally developed, mental illness usually manifests itself from trauma or repetitive and intense stress (particularly in the developmental years).

Having said that, a person may develop some form of mental illness dealing with their obesity (ie. looking in the mirror and becoming clinically depressed- not just sad); however, let's be honest here... the overwhelming percentage of people who became obese did so as a result of poor choices on their own accord.

I'm not sure mental illness is being carelessly tossed around. I think it's just that we weren't prepared for how rampant it really is, and how far-reaching it can be with regards to other problems that can manifest as a result.

no one is suggesting that all obesity stems from mental illness. far from it. diet and exercise are obviously the biggest factor. All I was saying is that in MY CASE I believe it to be a factor.

I wasn't directing anything towards anyone in particular and I also refer to many other threads where people sign off and mental illness as a likely causal factor.

yeah, I knew it was a general comment. just tossing in my $0.02, that's all.

I figured. Just making sure. I'm the last Canadian friend you got around here right now lol.

HughFreakingDillon · February 2019

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

Unpopular opinion on the MT:

If help is what an obese person wants and help is what they are prepared to accept... then I'm fully in their corner to whatever capacity that fat friend of mine might need from me.

If an obese person wallows in their obesity- typically consuming way more calories than they expend- then they can own their condition. More often than not, when I hear a fat person complain about their weight to me and I offer them realistic solutions to their problem... they make a litany of excuses why none of the suggestions could possibly work.

And man... I'm really beginning to worry how much the term 'mental illness' gets carelessly tossed around. 'Mental illness' is not always the answer to poor human behaviour. It doesn't develop from typical everyday stressors that all humans face and deal with. From what I have come to understand, if it's not genetically or environmentally developed, mental illness usually manifests itself from trauma or repetitive and intense stress (particularly in the developmental years).

Having said that, a person may develop some form of mental illness dealing with their obesity (ie. looking in the mirror and becoming clinically depressed- not just sad); however, let's be honest here... the overwhelming percentage of people who became obese did so as a result of poor choices on their own accord.

I'm not sure mental illness is being carelessly tossed around. I think it's just that we weren't prepared for how rampant it really is, and how far-reaching it can be with regards to other problems that can manifest as a result.

no one is suggesting that all obesity stems from mental illness. far from it. diet and exercise are obviously the biggest factor. All I was saying is that in MY CASE I believe it to be a factor.

I wasn't directing anything towards anyone in particular and I also refer to many other threads where people sign off and mental illness as a likely causal factor.

yeah, I knew it was a general comment. just tossing in my $0.02, that's all.

I figured. Just making sure. I'm the last Canadian friend you got around here right now lol.

my number of canadian friends is the exact same as it was last week.

rgambs · February 2019

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

Unpopular opinion on the MT:

If help is what an obese person wants and help is what they are prepared to accept... then I'm fully in their corner to whatever capacity that fat friend of mine might need from me.

If an obese person wallows in their obesity- typically consuming way more calories than they expend- then they can own their condition. More often than not, when I hear a fat person complain about their weight to me and I offer them realistic solutions to their problem... they make a litany of excuses why none of the suggestions could possibly work.

And man... I'm really beginning to worry how much the term 'mental illness' gets carelessly tossed around. 'Mental illness' is not always the answer to poor human behaviour. It doesn't develop from typical everyday stressors that all humans face and deal with. From what I have come to understand, if it's not genetically or environmentally developed, mental illness usually manifests itself from trauma or repetitive and intense stress (particularly in the developmental years).

Having said that, a person may develop some form of mental illness dealing with their obesity (ie. looking in the mirror and becoming clinically depressed- not just sad); however, let's be honest here... the overwhelming percentage of people who became obese did so as a result of poor choices on their own accord.

I think "mental illness" is carelessly tossed around in our society. I understand why, for most of human history, the subject was handled with zero tact, no empathy. I worry now that we are tipping the other direction.
When you know someone intimately with legitimate chemical imbalances like severe bipolar disorder, it's pretty much inevitable that you will at some point be disgusted by other people's self-pity and wallowing behaviour that society is eager to call mental illness.

This isn't an attempt to diminish anybody's suffering. The fact remains, SPD is rising exponentially and awareness isn't slowing the trend at all.
Is society coddling people? I don't know, all I can do is try to treat the issue with candor and truth and treat people with compassion always. Period.

PJ_Soul · February 2019

What's really being thrown around is "ADHD" and "ADD". I am truly horrified by the way parents, schools, doctors, and society in general are so willing to say a kid has ADD or ADHD. Someone has to fucking do something about that.

rgambs · February 2019

PJ_Soul said:

What's really being thrown around is "ADHD" and "ADD". I am truly horrified by the way parents, schools, doctors, and society in general are so willing to say a kid has ADD or ADHD. Someone has to fucking do something about that.

That's sort of the archetypal example of how science doesn't have a way of determining where the boundaries of "normal" human behaviour exist.
Kids (little boys in particular) are naturally rambunctious and lack focus, so where is the line drawn between "this kid is just rowdy" and "this kid needs to be put on psychoactive drugs"?

what dreams · February 2019

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

Unpopular opinion on the MT:

If help is what an obese person wants and help is what they are prepared to accept... then I'm fully in their corner to whatever capacity that fat friend of mine might need from me.

If an obese person wallows in their obesity- typically consuming way more calories than they expend- then they can own their condition. More often than not, when I hear a fat person complain about their weight to me and I offer them realistic solutions to their problem... they make a litany of excuses why none of the suggestions could possibly work.

And man... I'm really beginning to worry how much the term 'mental illness' gets carelessly tossed around. 'Mental illness' is not always the answer to poor human behaviour. It doesn't develop from typical everyday stressors that all humans face and deal with. From what I have come to understand, if it's not genetically or environmentally developed, mental illness usually manifests itself from trauma or repetitive and intense stress (particularly in the developmental years).

Having said that, a person may develop some form of mental illness dealing with their obesity (ie. looking in the mirror and becoming clinically depressed- not just sad); however, let's be honest here... the overwhelming percentage of people who became obese did so as a result of poor choices on their own accord.

There's a lot of trauma in this world. People don't talk about the abuse they've suffered. But it's there.

what dreams · February 2019

After thought -- I think that's why the article I posted struck home. So many stories and statistics of people in crisis who go to doctors for help, not even really knowing what they need help for, and then being dished out extremely unhelpful advice, diagnoses, etc. Someone looked at them, saw their weight, and decided that was their problem without listening. I feel so guilty because for years I would tell my mom, go to the doctor, it could be water, maybe you need your medicine adjusted, you never know. She would say, "All they're going to tell me is that I'm fat, eat a lettuce leaf." And then she almost died from fucking undiagnosed heart failure because she didn't want to be told -- AGAIN -- "you're fat," like she didn't know. I was absolutely right about the water, which was just a fucking guess on my part, and there were a half dozen other things I or she didn't even know (kidney involvement, the electrolyte imbalance which affects the brain, etc). It was crazy. All because of a bias against fat people, and a heavy person's unwillingness to endure that shame any more so she wouldn't go to the doctor even though she knew she was sick. If we can't trust the people who are supposed to help us, we're fucked. Her weight aside -- if you're sick, your're sick. Nobody should care whose fault it is or how they got that way. You treat the sick person.

Thirty Bills Unpaid · February 2019

what dreams said:

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

Unpopular opinion on the MT:

If help is what an obese person wants and help is what they are prepared to accept... then I'm fully in their corner to whatever capacity that fat friend of mine might need from me.

If an obese person wallows in their obesity- typically consuming way more calories than they expend- then they can own their condition. More often than not, when I hear a fat person complain about their weight to me and I offer them realistic solutions to their problem... they make a litany of excuses why none of the suggestions could possibly work.

And man... I'm really beginning to worry how much the term 'mental illness' gets carelessly tossed around. 'Mental illness' is not always the answer to poor human behaviour. It doesn't develop from typical everyday stressors that all humans face and deal with. From what I have come to understand, if it's not genetically or environmentally developed, mental illness usually manifests itself from trauma or repetitive and intense stress (particularly in the developmental years).

Having said that, a person may develop some form of mental illness dealing with their obesity (ie. looking in the mirror and becoming clinically depressed- not just sad); however, let's be honest here... the overwhelming percentage of people who became obese did so as a result of poor choices on their own accord.

There's a lot of trauma in this world. People don't talk about the abuse they've suffered. But it's there.

I wouldn't argue much against this assertion.

what dreams · February 2019

And another after-thought before I go to bed -- the rising epidemic of social-emotional problems in young people is truly alarming. It's an urgent problem that our culture needs to address. I work with middle school kids -- I should say, I play whack-a-mole with middle school kids. I'm supposed to be an English teacher. I spend all day, five days a week, dealing with one emotional crisis after the other. . .

And yes, there are the "fake" ADHD kids, too. Just filled out a questionnaire today for a sweet, hard-working but mostly academic-average young lady who thinks (really, her parents think) she might be ADHD. When she reads those stupid benchmark tests to determine if she'll pass the end of year test -- she just has a hard time concentrating. I told her, no kidding. The tests are boring. They're awful. Everybody tunes out awful, boring stuff. . . . Then I wrote in her report next to the "occasional" rating circled about "trouble focusing on tasks" -- ONLY ON BORING ACTIVITIES. I'm practically begging the unknown doctor on the other side of the report -- please don't medicate this sweet, kind, conscientious young lady just because she has a C in 7th grade English.

Meltdown99 · February 2019

'TWO BIG PIGS': Rude woman kicked off flight after fat-shaming meltdown

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