Dying alone

Thoughts_Arrive · February 2018

Could you please take your arguments on pm.

rgambs · February 2018

OP, life is something you do, not something that happens to you.
You're a white Australian guy right? In these modern times.
In the context of all of humanity, that means that even when you're up shit creek and there's a hole in your boat, you've at least got a bucket and a paddle. Bail water until you're light enough on the water and then paddle like hell.
Everybody sinks one day, but you gotta give 'er hell while you can.

RYME · February 2018

HughFreakingDillon said:

RYME said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

RYME said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

HesCalledDyer said:

oftenreading said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

oftenreading said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

HesCalledDyer said:

rgambs said:

HesCalledDyer said:

kce8 said:

HesCalledDyer said:

tweedyfanjen said:

HesCalledDyer said:

Pretty sure at this point I’ll continue to live alone and I’ll die alone.

I'm 40, I’m not interested in women my age, and younger women (understandably) aren’t interested in men my age unless they have money, which I don’t.

Why you aren't you interested in women your age? You're very much limiting yourself with that. My brother who is going through a divorce right now is dating someone 10 years his junior. And he definitely doesn't have money. He's just a really nice guy.

I'm just attracted to younger women. They're livelier, like to live in the now, and do fun things on a whim like I do. Where I live, women my age have been thrown to the pack too many times. 40 looks like 55. Most of them have been married once or twice (I don't want to deal with redneck ex-husbands), have kids (I don't want kids, ever. Not mine, not someone else's), own or have owned houses (something else I never want to do), and/or they're just generally fucked up in the head from all the previous baggage.

On top of that, I just have unordinary ideas for how I want things to be in a relationship and I just don't think any woman, regardless of age, is going to go for it. (Like living separately and possibly never getting married.)

That sounds like you never really fell in love before. I promise, when you have found the right girl you'll change your mind about living separately!
No need to get married or have kids but I'm pretty sure there will be two seats at your small table permanently.
That's sent to all of us. Someday it happens. Just don't give up and think positive.
And smile!

I have. Once. Didn't realize what I had at the time.

Young and dumb?
There are loves out there for you yet!

More like young and a controlling asshole. Which I guess files under "dumb" in a sense.

the way I look at it, then she wasn't the right one. you wouldn't have treated the right one like that, no matter your age. it was a learning experience. I had a 5 year relationship in my early 20's that you could say was borderline emotionally abusive (on both our parts), and yeah, when I think back, sure, I and she could have been nicer. But maybe that was something I needed to learn. To prepare me for my subsequent relationships and marriage.

Your opinion is your own but I certainly don’t think that you can put any of the fault for any of a guy’s controlling behaviour on his female partner for “not being the right one”. Any abusive behaviour sits squarely on the person behaving that way.

Let me be crystal clear: I said or implied nowhere that it was her fault. It was still his. Same as it was mine when I was a dick to my ex. Same as how it was hers for being a twat to me. People, I think, just tend to work harder at relationships when they are "the one". (and no, I don't believe in "the one", I just used that terminology for ease of discussion-in my case my wife is "the one" but I'm sure in different cities or circumstances there are others "ones" out there as well).

“....you wouldn’t have treated the right one like that” sure sounds like it’s her fault because she’s “not the right one”.

I know that's not what Hugh meant by that comment.

any sensible person would. thank you.

Mr. Sensible
Right on cue.

oh, gee, ya got me!

Did you get my message Hugh?
I'm sorry.

yes, i did. no worries.

Cool, I don't even know you, but I do care about you Dillon, I care about all of you here, even if we disagree on things.

https://youtu.be/mVohbxSa-Zs

brianlux · February 2018

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Could you please take your arguments on pm.

Agreed. Can we try to be mutually supportive here and leave the personal stuff on the sideline?

Cool.

Peace, all.

even flow - question mark · February 2018

My mother had ALS and had to be put in a home for purposes of being taken care of. I visited almost every day, fed her dinner and talked about life. Even she died alone in the middle of the night. So even with the almost most of my free time that I could give her, she still was sadly on her own when she passed. Tis life!

RYME · February 2018

even flow - question mark said:

My mother had ALS and had to be put in a home for purposes of being taken care of. I visited almost every day, fed her dinner and talked about life. Even she died alone in the middle of the night. So even with the almost most of my free time that I could give her, she still was sadly on her own when she passed. Tis life!

She wasn't alone. Our Father takes care of His own. Please Read. Pay close attention to versus 6 and 7.
https://christiananswers.net/bible/eccl12.html
And she appreciated everything you did.
So, Let not your heart be troubled. Go in peace.

oftenreading · February 2018

even flow - question mark said:

My mother had ALS and had to be put in a home for purposes of being taken care of. I visited almost every day, fed her dinner and talked about life. Even she died alone in the middle of the night. So even with the almost most of my free time that I could give her, she still was sadly on her own when she passed. Tis life!

Many people who work in palliative/hospice care come to believe that a good number of individuals prefer to die alone. There are countless stories of people dying when their loved ones finally leave to get a bit to eat, a shower, what have you. There is a belief that this most often happens with parents and children, as if the parent wants to spare their child that moment. If you wish, there are links where you can read about this on the net. In any case, I know that your mother knew how much time and effort and love you put into visiting, and valued it.

Thirty Bills Unpaid · February 2018

RYME said:

even flow - question mark said:

My mother had ALS and had to be put in a home for purposes of being taken care of. I visited almost every day, fed her dinner and talked about life. Even she died alone in the middle of the night. So even with the almost most of my free time that I could give her, she still was sadly on her own when she passed. Tis life!

She wasn't alone. Our Father takes care of His own. Please Read. Pay close attention to versus 6 and 7.
https://christiananswers.net/bible/eccl12.html
And she appreciated everything you did.
So, Let not your heart be troubled. Go in peace.

Are you sure? What about the other people dying in other parts of the world at the same time? Can God be in several places at one time? That must be really hard to do.

dignin · February 2018

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

RYME said:

even flow - question mark said:

My mother had ALS and had to be put in a home for purposes of being taken care of. I visited almost every day, fed her dinner and talked about life. Even she died alone in the middle of the night. So even with the almost most of my free time that I could give her, she still was sadly on her own when she passed. Tis life!

She wasn't alone. Our Father takes care of His own. Please Read. Pay close attention to versus 6 and 7.
https://christiananswers.net/bible/eccl12.html
And she appreciated everything you did.
So, Let not your heart be troubled. Go in peace.

Are you sure? What about the other people dying in other parts of the world at the same time? Can God be in several places at one time? That must be really hard to do.

Well Santa delivers all those presents in one night, which is also hard.

oftenreading · February 2018

dignin said:

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

RYME said:

even flow - question mark said:

My mother had ALS and had to be put in a home for purposes of being taken care of. I visited almost every day, fed her dinner and talked about life. Even she died alone in the middle of the night. So even with the almost most of my free time that I could give her, she still was sadly on her own when she passed. Tis life!

She wasn't alone. Our Father takes care of His own. Please Read. Pay close attention to versus 6 and 7.
https://christiananswers.net/bible/eccl12.html
And she appreciated everything you did.
So, Let not your heart be troubled. Go in peace.

Are you sure? What about the other people dying in other parts of the world at the same time? Can God be in several places at one time? That must be really hard to do.

Well Santa delivers all those presents in one night, which is also hard.

He has the reindeer to help

Annafalk · February 2018

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

RYME said:

even flow - question mark said:

My mother had ALS and had to be put in a home for purposes of being taken care of. I visited almost every day, fed her dinner and talked about life. Even she died alone in the middle of the night. So even with the almost most of my free time that I could give her, she still was sadly on her own when she passed. Tis life!

She wasn't alone. Our Father takes care of His own. Please Read. Pay close attention to versus 6 and 7.
https://christiananswers.net/bible/eccl12.html
And she appreciated everything you did.
So, Let not your heart be troubled. Go in peace.

Are you sure? What about the other people dying in other parts of the world at the same time? Can God be in several places at one time? That must be really hard to do.

Off course he can.

HughFreakingDillon · February 2018

can any of you stop mocking other's beliefs for one second?

Annafalk · February 2018

HughFreakingDillon said:

can any of you stop mocking other's beliefs for one second?

I just want to say that I mean what I said, I believe he can be everywhere.

Thirty Bills Unpaid · February 2018

Annafalk said:

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

RYME said:

even flow - question mark said:

My mother had ALS and had to be put in a home for purposes of being taken care of. I visited almost every day, fed her dinner and talked about life. Even she died alone in the middle of the night. So even with the almost most of my free time that I could give her, she still was sadly on her own when she passed. Tis life!

She wasn't alone. Our Father takes care of His own. Please Read. Pay close attention to versus 6 and 7.
https://christiananswers.net/bible/eccl12.html
And she appreciated everything you did.
So, Let not your heart be troubled. Go in peace.

Are you sure? What about the other people dying in other parts of the world at the same time? Can God be in several places at one time? That must be really hard to do.

Off course he can.

Oh. Well call me stupid then.

It's just hard to picture something being in multiple places at once... giving a dying person their undivided attention. Not to mention... observing the countless other unspeakable things that need to be noted... and listening to the countless prayers being uttered... and all those other things occurring simultaneously.

I guess this is what they call the 'leap of faith'. Questions that cannot be answered with any degree of logic are responded to with, "You must have faith."

In other words... "Hmmm. I'm not really too sure? Hey... just believe okay? Or you'll go to Hell. Do you want to burn in eternity? Didn't think so. Sooo... say your prayers. Oh... and don't forget your tithe!"

Thirty Bills Unpaid · February 2018

HughFreakingDillon said:

can any of you stop mocking other's beliefs for one second?

I did for a second. But after the second elapsed... I felt compelled to respond.

Some people believe Trump is making America great again. Some people believe there are pedophile sex rings on Mars. Some people believe you need to respond to gun violence with more guns.

In other words... for the betterment of society... some beliefs need to be challenged. Especially when they are cuckoo.

Annafalk · February 2018

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

Annafalk said:

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

RYME said:

even flow - question mark said:

My mother had ALS and had to be put in a home for purposes of being taken care of. I visited almost every day, fed her dinner and talked about life. Even she died alone in the middle of the night. So even with the almost most of my free time that I could give her, she still was sadly on her own when she passed. Tis life!

She wasn't alone. Our Father takes care of His own. Please Read. Pay close attention to versus 6 and 7.
https://christiananswers.net/bible/eccl12.html
And she appreciated everything you did.
So, Let not your heart be troubled. Go in peace.

Are you sure? What about the other people dying in other parts of the world at the same time? Can God be in several places at one time? That must be really hard to do.

Off course he can.

Oh. Well call me stupid then.

It's just hard to picture something being in multiple places at once... giving a dying person their undivided attention. Not to mention... observing the countless other unspeakable things that need to be noted... and listening to the countless prayers being uttered... and all those other things occurring simultaneously.

I guess this is what they call the 'leap of faith'. Questions that cannot be answered with any degree of logic are responded to with, "You must have faith."

In other words... "Hmmm. I'm not really too sure? Hey... just believe okay? Or you'll go to Hell. Do you want to burn in eternity? Didn't think so. Sooo... say your prayers. Oh... and don't forget your tithe!"

I’m absolutely not calling you stupid, I’m sorry if I upset you in any way, truly.

Thirty Bills Unpaid · February 2018

Annafalk said:

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

Annafalk said:

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

RYME said:

even flow - question mark said:

My mother had ALS and had to be put in a home for purposes of being taken care of. I visited almost every day, fed her dinner and talked about life. Even she died alone in the middle of the night. So even with the almost most of my free time that I could give her, she still was sadly on her own when she passed. Tis life!

She wasn't alone. Our Father takes care of His own. Please Read. Pay close attention to versus 6 and 7.
https://christiananswers.net/bible/eccl12.html
And she appreciated everything you did.
So, Let not your heart be troubled. Go in peace.

Are you sure? What about the other people dying in other parts of the world at the same time? Can God be in several places at one time? That must be really hard to do.

Off course he can.

Oh. Well call me stupid then.

It's just hard to picture something being in multiple places at once... giving a dying person their undivided attention. Not to mention... observing the countless other unspeakable things that need to be noted... and listening to the countless prayers being uttered... and all those other things occurring simultaneously.

I guess this is what they call the 'leap of faith'. Questions that cannot be answered with any degree of logic are responded to with, "You must have faith."

In other words... "Hmmm. I'm not really too sure? Hey... just believe okay? Or you'll go to Hell. Do you want to burn in eternity? Didn't think so. Sooo... say your prayers. Oh... and don't forget your tithe!"

I’m absolutely not calling you stupid, I’m sorry if I upset you in any way, truly.

Anna... two things:

1. I disagree with your faith vehemently.
2. I think you are a truly nice person and as much as I disagree with your beliefs... it takes nothing from my understanding of you as an exceptional human being (from what I have read of your posts).

stuckinline · February 2018

oftenreading said:

even flow - question mark said:

My mother had ALS and had to be put in a home for purposes of being taken care of. I visited almost every day, fed her dinner and talked about life. Even she died alone in the middle of the night. So even with the almost most of my free time that I could give her, she still was sadly on her own when she passed. Tis life!

Many people who work in palliative/hospice care come to believe that a good number of individuals prefer to die alone. There are countless stories of people dying when their loved ones finally leave to get a bit to eat, a shower, what have you. There is a belief that this most often happens with parents and children, as if the parent wants to spare their child that moment. If you wish, there are links where you can read about this on the net. In any case, I know that your mother knew how much time and effort and love you put into visiting, and valued it.

even flow-question mark, thank you for sharing. Your mother knew you loved her and were there for her.

oftenreading, that happened to a friend of mine. My friend literally sat at her mother's bedside 24/7 for a few weeks. The hospice workers finally persuaded my friend to go home, take a shower, and told my friend that they would keep her updated. My friend's mom died approximately 5 minutes after my friend headed home.

dignin · February 2018

HughFreakingDillon said:

can any of you stop mocking other's beliefs for one second?

Ho! Ho! Ho!

HughFreakingDillon · February 2018

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

can any of you stop mocking other's beliefs for one second?

I did for a second. But after the second elapsed... I felt compelled to respond.

Some people believe Trump is making America great again. Some people believe there are pedophile sex rings on Mars. Some people believe you need to respond to gun violence with more guns.

In other words... for the betterment of society... some beliefs need to be challenged. Especially when they are cuckoo.

i absolutely agree when those beliefs run counter to something positive/progressive. but all ryme was doing was offering comfort. and then people turn around and mock him. it's gross.

and it's one thing to offer something of value to counter what was said. it's another thing entirely to just outwardly mock that person with zero substance.

Dying alone

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