Trophies or awards just for participation and Is it damaging the youth of today?

hedonist · August 2015

^^It just defeats the whole purpose of BEING a parent - raising / teaching your child to be an independent, resourceful, respectful adult.

(the facepalm fella is perfect)

Thirty Bills Unpaid · August 2015

Cliffy6745 said:

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

2-feign-reluctance said:
Damaging? No. But it's a great example of coddling. Not wanting children to experience disappointment and hurt feelings and adults doing their part to shield them from those emotions COULD play out negatively later on down the line. We're already seeing it in higher education.
Seeing it everywhere.

Kids breaking down because they get 60% on a term paper in a university course (when really... they should have received 40%). Parents demanding to talk to the professors.

Even parents going into the workforce and 'setting the employer straight' for their kid who blew off several shifts for various reasons.
A good recent article from the NY Times that touches on a lot of this.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/02/education/edlife/stress-social-media-and-suicide-on-campus.html?_r=0

I think this issue is the exact opposite of participation trophies though. I see this as overbearing parents who aren't coddling and are not giving support, "awards" or praise for anything less than perfect/winning.

I tend to think of it as very relevant.

To some degree, I see these types of things as parents trying to drag the bar down to a level that their kid can get over with ease and very little difficulty or challenge.

Again, the team experience is about selflessness. Call me obtuse, but a year end banquet where all celebrate the season with no 'individual' awards- including MVP or Most Improved Player- is most appropriate and in line with minor sport philosophy.

Too many parents ask, "How'd you play?" before they ask, "How'd the team do?" Too many parents would prefer their kid to score a goal and their team lose than vice versa. Too many parents do not see the team experience being very valuable if their kid is not the starting pitcher, quarterback, point guard, captain, or any other prominent role: for many, it's all about playing time and what can the team do for you versus what can you do for the team.

As such, we have very few Jordan Spieths in our world of sport and too many selfish "Look at me" athletes in our sport.

The participation trophies, in my mind, are a subtle reflection of the selfishness that has permeated minor sport. The experience needs to be the big ticket item here- not some cheap trophy that provides 20 minutes of satisfaction only to collect dust for a decade until it is thrown out.

rr165892 · August 2015

PJ_Soul said:

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

2-feign-reluctance said:
Damaging? No. But it's a great example of coddling. Not wanting children to experience disappointment and hurt feelings and adults doing their part to shield them from those emotions COULD play out negatively later on down the line. We're already seeing it in higher education.
Seeing it everywhere.

Kids breaking down because they get 60% on a term paper in a university course (when really... they should have received 40%). Parents demanding to talk to the professors.

Even parents going into the workforce and 'setting the employer straight' for their kid who blew off several shifts for various reasons.
Oh, for sure! I can't believe some university students and parents! Moms and dads calling around trying to talk to anyone who will listen to them, trying to convince us that their kid deserves special treatment. Their 21 year old kid, lol. And students getting super angry and offended when they are simply told they are subject to the rules and policies of the university like everyone else. Oh my god. They are absolutely SHOCKED that they can't charm their way into getting the rules changed for them. They get angry, or cry right in your office. They will do things like simply not go to their final exam because they had a concert to attend. Then they waltz in 3 days later expecting to be able to write the exam, no questions asked, lol. When they are told no they throw a tantrum. It's pretty disgusting. I actually once had a student threaten to sue me because he wasn't allowed to write an exam that he missed for no good reason.

This also reminds me of what someone I know who works in the corporate world said. Apparently, some millenials who are now starting their careers sometimes bring their mommies to the office on their first day of work, so they can help decorate their cubicle, lol, and they'll swing by and bring them food and shit on a regular basis. It's just embarrassing. Not sure what the deal is with that generation of parents, who are largely the cause of all this. I guess these are the ones who were teenagers in the late 70s and the 80s? Wtf happened to make them parent like that??

Hey now PJ,I'm a parent of the time and age you talk about and I can assure you my kids ain't getting anything delivered ,and them baby birds have to be able to flap their own wings or they going to fall out the nest.lol
But I do see plenty of this though.
While coaching when my son was in HS, One of my responsibilities was the recruiting liaison for our football team between college staffs and our players.During those for years,I saw players parents do soooo many unsavory things to get little jr noticed or into schools they have no business applying to.Everyone of them thinks their kid is not just special but worthy.

PJ_Soul · August 2015

Oh, don't get me wrong. I know there are plenty of parents that age who don't do that... and from that, of course there are students who don't pull any of this shit, and I am truly grateful to them. It's just a strong pattern. When me and my coworkers come into contact with a student who is actually self-sufficient and accepting of the rules, and is actually pleasant to deal with, we are all impressed enough to mention it to one another. That's pretty sad.

Thirty Bills Unpaid · August 2015

PJ_Soul said:
Oh, don't get me wrong. I know there are plenty of parents that age who don't do that... and from that, of course there are students who don't pull any of this shit, and I am truly grateful to them. It's just a strong pattern. When me and my coworkers come into contact with a student who is actually self-sufficient and accepting of the rules, and is actually pleasant to deal with, we are all impressed enough to mention it to one another. That's pretty sad.

Yup.

It's like driving. I find myself waving at motorists that exercise proper driving habits. This is sad as well- the fact that we feel the need to acknowledge good behaviours and courtesy because it is so uncommonly practiced.

PJ_Soul · August 2015

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

PJ_Soul said:
Oh, don't get me wrong. I know there are plenty of parents that age who don't do that... and from that, of course there are students who don't pull any of this shit, and I am truly grateful to them. It's just a strong pattern. When me and my coworkers come into contact with a student who is actually self-sufficient and accepting of the rules, and is actually pleasant to deal with, we are all impressed enough to mention it to one another. That's pretty sad.
Yup.

It's like driving. I find myself waving at motorists that exercise proper driving habits. This is sad as well- the fact that we feel the need to acknowledge good behaviours and courtesy because it is so uncommonly practiced.

Right?! When someone who is ahead of me through a door and holds it for me, I feel like they just gave me free cash or something, lol! When that is simply the normal polite thing to do. Brutal.

Drowned Out · August 2015

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

PJ_Soul said:
Oh, don't get me wrong. I know there are plenty of parents that age who don't do that... and from that, of course there are students who don't pull any of this shit, and I am truly grateful to them. It's just a strong pattern. When me and my coworkers come into contact with a student who is actually self-sufficient and accepting of the rules, and is actually pleasant to deal with, we are all impressed enough to mention it to one another. That's pretty sad.
Yup.

It's like driving. I find myself waving at motorists that exercise proper driving habits. This is sad as well- the fact that we feel the need to acknowledge good behaviours and courtesy because it is so uncommonly practiced.

Soooo....a wave is kinda like a participation trophy for adult drivers, right?

Thirty Bills Unpaid · August 2015

Drowned Out said:

Thirty Bills Unpaid said:

PJ_Soul said:
Oh, don't get me wrong. I know there are plenty of parents that age who don't do that... and from that, of course there are students who don't pull any of this shit, and I am truly grateful to them. It's just a strong pattern. When me and my coworkers come into contact with a student who is actually self-sufficient and accepting of the rules, and is actually pleasant to deal with, we are all impressed enough to mention it to one another. That's pretty sad.
Yup.

It's like driving. I find myself waving at motorists that exercise proper driving habits. This is sad as well- the fact that we feel the need to acknowledge good behaviours and courtesy because it is so uncommonly practiced.
Soooo....a wave is kinda like a participation trophy for adult drivers, right?

hahahaha.

Me: "Everybody gets a wave today, folks."

Shitty Driver: "Even me?"

Me: "Yes. Even the shitty drivers."

Shitty Driver: "Yay!"

Me: (audible sigh) "Yes. You're a good driver. Even though you never signalled you were going to exit the highway while that driver was waiting for you- thinking you were continuing on the highway- there were some other things you did very well: you remembered to stop at that one red light... remember... eh... remember?"

Shitty Driver: "Yay! You're right. I'm a really good driver!"

buck502000 · August 2015

just more of the continued "pussification" of the USA

Smellyman · August 2015

Nobody, and I mean nobody, is as tough as buck502000

buck502000 said:
just more of the continued "pussification" of the USA

rgambs · August 2015

Smellyman said:
Nobody, and I mean nobody, is as tough as buck502000

buck502000 said:
just more of the continued "pussification" of the USA

Obviously! Everybody knows he walked 10 miles to school everyday, uphill both ways, with cornflake boxes for shoes, with snow into July.

rgambs · August 2015

It's funny, the "pussification" comments always come from the generation which lived in the most comfortable economic era the world has ever seen.

muskydan · August 2015

rgambs said:
It's funny, the "pussification" comments always come from the generation which lived in the most comfortable economic era the world has ever seen.

Its even funnier hearing from people on here that must have gotten many participation trophies..

Cliffy6745 · August 2015

muskydan said:

rgambs said:
It's funny, the "pussification" comments always come from the generation which lived in the most comfortable economic era the world has ever seen.
Its even funnier hearing from people on here that must have gotten many participation trophies..

I received participation trophies for my YMCA basketball when I was like 7 and ended up probably playing sports at a higher competitive level than anyone on these boards. Lot of good that did. Thanks, Obama.

muskydan · August 2015

Cliffy6745 said:

muskydan said:

rgambs said:
It's funny, the "pussification" comments always come from the generation which lived in the most comfortable economic era the world has ever seen.
Its even funnier hearing from people on here that must have gotten many participation trophies..
I received participation trophies for my YMCA basketball when I was like 7 and ended up probably playing sports at a higher competitive level than anyone on these boards. Lot of good that did. Thanks, Obama.

What do they say about blind squirrels finding a acorn every once in awhile????

MayDay10 · August 2015

How about the Japanese work ethic and sports?

I know in baseball, the most desirable outcome is a tie so neither team is humiliated... (sounds like loser talk)... yet I cant think of many developed nations (if any) whose citizens have a stronger and more focused work ethic. Look at the Japan X voting (lol)

Anyways
i don't think anyone here is saying that participation trophies *alone* are responsible for the downfall of western civilization.

what people are doing, is using them as symbolic representation of a perceived greater "culture of coddling" (which includes sheltering, helicopter parenting, etc). i can understand the argument there... however I feel that youth sports, while important, should not be taken that seriously.

that said, is the "culture of coddling" *alone* really leading to the downfall of western civilization either?
probably not.

to go further, is western civilization really falling? or is it just changing... and offending older generations with its change?
probably.

would i ever, in my adult life, have had a conversation about participation trophies if it hadn't been for this thread?
nope.

Last-12-Exit · August 2015

I walked to school 12 miles, uphill, both ways, and barefoot in the snow.

callen · August 2015

muskydan said:

rgambs said:
It's funny, the "pussification" comments always come from the generation which lived in the most comfortable economic era the world has ever seen.
Its even funnier hearing from people on here that must have gotten many participation trophies..

I don't know Smelly, think Musky's pretty tough guy too.

callen · August 2015

rgambs said:
It's funny, the "pussification" comments always come from the generation which lived in the most comfortable economic era the world has ever seen.

Think of this often. Just 200 years ago most of us wouldn't have made it to 20. Medicine, transportation, food, fraakin AC (for my southern friends). Just AC. be living next to thirty without it. We'd get along I'm sure.

Dr.Teeth and the Electric Mayh · August 2015

Godfather. said:
are people really disputing a participation trophy ? my son never got one but I have seen many kids get them and it just made thier day.

Godfather.

Exactly. If you can make a kids day why wouldn't you want to do that? Talk about making something out of nothing.

Trophies or awards just for participation and Is it damaging the youth of today?

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